The Space Between
by VoiDreamer
Summary: Sequel to Vulnerability: Her death tore them apart for two years. But when fate brings them back together again it will take every ounce of strength to salvage a love that has been destroyed in his heartbreak and lost to her memories. Garrus x Fem!Shep
1. Chapter 1: Rebirth

AN: So, it's been a while - but I'm BACK!!! The comments I've received since finishing Vulnerability have all been really positive, and I just wanted to thank each and every reviewer who spent the time to write me. It's mainly for this reason that I chose to continue with this fic which will follow Garrus and Nora Shepard as they learn to cope with the distance that has come with her two year absence. I expect the story to be darker than the previous one, but we'll see how I do - fluffy romance is sure to be around as well :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect (or ME2) the characters or any other recognizable plot piece - they all belong to the lovely Bioware.

Thanks again all who commented, favorited, and messaged me about Vulnerabilty - you have truly been an inspiration. So without further ado - The Space Between

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* * *

__She was dying._

_Choking and coughing, as the air vented from her suit, her hands clutch futilely at the deep lacerations in her suit, her body. Her lungs burned and though she could begin to feel an icy cold settle in her lower extremities, the laser sharp pain across her back and down her left leg suggested that if the void of space didn't kill her soon the blood loss would be sure to finish the deed._

_And yet, she couldn't stop the way her body revolted against the idea of giving up. She would not, _could _not; not on herself, not on her crew. They had saved her time and time again, she reasoned to herself as she faced the panic down and turned to watch the escape pods recede into space like small golden stars; besides this was not the first time she was close to death._

_The images of her confrontation with Saren flashed in her mind's eye, a reminder of events still too recent to fully let free. _

_Anger, Loss, the sense of helplessness rose once more. _

_Every vivid memory slowly growing hazy around the edges as her brain struggled to cope with the increasing lack of oxygen. _

_She refused to believe that this was the end, that this was _her_ end. There was still so much to do, with the Geth, with the Reapers...with…_

_"Garrus."_

_Her lips formed the name though she no longer had the strength, the breath left, to give it sound. Lips trembling, blue now as the cold truly began to sink into the flesh of her body, Commander Nora Shepard struggled not to waste the last moments of her life in tears. _

_These final moments she would fill with the memories of her most precious times, memories of her friends, her lover. Her eyes slowly sliding shut as she smiled and remembered…remembered them all…_

_…and died._

_For two years the universe continued on without her, those that survived the destruction of the Normandy going their own separate ways held together now by nothing more than a ghostly thread of pain and loss. Times changed, _people _changed…and then the unthinkable happened._

_She returned. _

"Miranda, how many more times am I going to have to answer your questions?"

Walking briskly down the metallic ramp leading to the small shuttle, it was the flash of biotic power on her finger tips rather than vocal inflection that suggested the speaker was annoyed.

By contrast, the dark-haired Cerberus was infuriatingly calm as she kept up with the shorter woman, her heels clicking against the metallic floors coldly.

"We should have done all of these tests before you were ever removed from the medical center. As you well know, circumstances made such instances impossible, and so here we are."

"I'm really getting tired of answering all of your questions; we've already gone through each one at least three times. I've already returned from a mission on Freedoms Progress and _nothing_ went wrong, you're wasting both of our times."

Slim hands pushed through short shorn hair in an attempt to avoid biotically crushing something in irritation. She had been a state of emotional imbalance since waking up nearly a week ago, surprised, confused upset. Everything she had known blown out of the water with the realization that she had been dead for nearly two years.

At a loss and without any clear indication that she could trust _anyone_, the anger had helped deal with the startling emptiness in her chest. Every little thing seemed somehow tied to it. The uniform she wore, sporting the orange emblem of Cerberus seemed more like a brand, and the fact that she was unable to contact any of her crew made her situation feel that much more isolated.

Tugging at the short strands of her hair reminded her of yet another change she had been less than pleased about. They had cut it, her hair. She still missed it, every time she reached up to touch it, and though she was being silly the sense of loss she felt seemed startlingly profound. She supposed she could appreciate the practicality of it, given that with her constant biological reconstruction long hair would probably have been an undesired hygienic complication. But the new imposed cut felt like another tether, another brand on her body, like she was more science project than person now.

"Your name?"

The questions had resumed once more, droning as they continued down the catwalk and paused to watch the various mechanics move about their waiting shuttle.

"Shepard."

"Your _full_ name."

She opened her mouth to respond in irritation before the sudden emptiness in her mind gave her pause, pushing her towards panic a second before the answer formed itself properly.

"Nora. My _full_ name, is Nora Shepard."

The hesitation in her voice made the other darker-haired woman scribbled something onto her data pad. The pauses, gaps in her memory, were not considerable as far as either woman could tell but they were there, the result of careful but ultimately imperfect reanimation. There was only so much one could to do to repair a brain.

"That is name you registered with when you joined the Alliance; it is the name that the entire _universe_ knows you by. Though to be correct, this is not your birth name?"

"That's right."

Shepard didn't want to know how the Illusive Man had collected all sorts of extraneous pieces of information on her, but at this point there was little she could do to change it; being dead for two years tended to put one at a disadvantage.

"And you were born in the colonies where you lived with your family?"

Another flicker of irritation crossed the ex-Specters' face, "I wish you would stop that, it's like you're purposely trying to trip me up. You know full well I was born on Earth and have no biological family to speak of."

The renewed scribbling of the data pad was met with increased ire as the shorter woman finally swung around to look at the dark haired, white clothed beauty.

"Miranda, you _have_ to stop. Now."

"I am the head of operations for the Lazarus Project; I will not stop just because _you_ ask me to."

"And I can't guarantee that I can control my biotics with this new L5 implant if you continue to bother me with those questions."

It was a warning not a threat as the blue flickering of biotic power returned for a moment before disappearing once more.

"Alright, fine. I'll leave you be for the rest of today, but we _have_ to finish these tests eventually so don't think I won't ask again tomorrow."

"Fair enough." The ex-Alliance soldier nodded before turning to leave, her hands held carefully at her sides, the soft sheen of biotic power making her hands luminescent, "I'll try to get myself sorted out by then."

Nora stumbled into her make-shift bedroom with a pale sweaty face and trembling arms.

_She hadn't been sure how much longer she could have been able to appear as unaffected by the new levels of biotic power as she had._

Groaning in pain the human commander forced herself into a small fold-out chair and willed her strained lungs to take in several deep shuttering breaths. The trembling continued as she pressed her back to the thick material chair, and watched her fingers, hands and arms disappear beneath hundreds of brilliant blue streaks of biotic energy. Energy she no longer had the strength to contain within her body.

It felt as if she was being slowly being ionized, pulled apart piece by piece. Every sensation seemed multiplied, amplified by the fact that she knew this pain to be the result of bringing her back to life; another side-effect of becoming a Cerberus lab rat.

_She hated them all_.

A bone deep shudder rocked her body as pain lanced deeper, forcing a choked groan from her lips. She would bear the pain with as much silence as she could, no sense in revealing a weakness in a place like this. It felt like she was surrounded by the enemy with no plan of escape.

_Damn it. _

Hands curling into fists, the Alliance soldier forced herself to her feet and to her bed, taking only the smallest comforts as she lay down upon the plush mattress.

But no sooner had the pain begun to dissipate when there came a knock on the door.

_She wondered why they even bothered pretending; no doubt her room had cameras monitoring her current situation. _

Swearing, the woman forced herself and made her way across the room to punch the code into the door pad, unlocking it with a soft hiss.

"Looks like you're having a bit of a problem Shepard."

Breathing hard, Nora remained where she was, forcing herself to remain upright despite the burning sensation that had now begun to engulf her shoulders and struck at her back.

Jacob Taylor, one of the two Cerberus agents she had come to know in the past several weeks. She wanted to see him about as much as she wanted Miranda - neither of them could be trusted. The fact that Jacob has seemed kinder than his female counter part only made her that much more wary of him.

_It was always the quiet ones that caused the most pain, _she had recognized the similarity between them immediately, _the quiet ones would smile, get close and then stab you through the heart. _

She had been capable of such things as a child, there was little stopping her from going back to that lifestyle now that she was alone.

"Biotic troubles?"

Wary, the Alliance soldier merely frowned, "I told Miranda I had a headache."

The man merely looked at her once more before giving her a shrug, "Give me a break Shepard; I know the look of a biotic with way too much power and no place to put it. It's the new L5 isn't it?"

The purple-eyed woman remained impassive, "What makes you say that?"

"Your hands are white knuckled and you're giving off a distinctly _purple_ glow."

Her eyes flickered to her hands and found them entirely normal, but by checking herself she had all but confirmed Jacob's words.

_Damn it._

"Is there a reason you've decided to pay me a visit, or can I get back to dealing with my own problems?"

There was no helping the resentful tone of her voice, and Shepard didn't bother hiding it. She owed these people her life, but not her trust, and _not_ her good manners. It was easier for her to act the Earth Gutter Rat she had been as a child; a set of manners she would never truly lose no matter how many years came between where she was and where she had been.

"Just wanted to give you this," he offered her a small box, "I had to use it when I made the transfer to the higher level implants. They'll knock you out for several hours, but they should help your body get used to the new levels of biotics within a day or so."

Nora barely gave the package a glance as she moved towards the door pad, intent on closing the door once more. No way was she going to drug herself with something given to her by a _Cerberus_ agent.

"Thanks for the offer Jacob, but I'm fine, nothing you need to worry about."

"Don't be a fool Shepard," Taking a step forward into her room, the man spoke calmly but continued to invade her space, "The Illusive man is going to send you on another mission soon and – "

The encroaching presence of a man she considered an enemy was more than she would allow, band with little more warning than a snarl she sent a low level biotic push to throw the man back several feet.

"I _said_ I was fine. Thank you for your concern, but I don't need any help."

Eyes dark in anger, the Alliance Commander didn't bother apologizing for her actions, and said not a word more, watching in silence as the man turned and left the room rubbing a sore muscle.

"Fuck."

Swearing as she closed and locked the door to her room once more, she resolved to keep to herself until Miranda herself forced the door open.

_Science project be damned, if they wanted to analyze her they would have to work for it._

Kneeling down by her bed to pull the collection of medigel packs she had found the Alliance soldier felt a sudden twinge of memory, the startling sense of shame flooding her as her hands began to deconstruct the health applicator into one more suited to her tastes.

A stimulant, the needle shone dully in the industrial light of her room. Part of her wondered idly why of all things this particular skill seemed to remain, but she didn't question she wanted one now. Sitting on the edge of the bed, purple-blue eyes flickered to the door once before focusing once more on the drug in her hand.

She only hoped the rush she received would be enough to dull the pain her body seemed so intent on keeping. And when, at last, the burning sensations began to drown under the rush of euphoric haze, Nora curled up under the blankets of her cot and fell deeply asleep; her heart squeezing painfully with thought that she had somehow let someone down.

~Dream~

_"Are you alright?" _

_Warm masculine hands wrapped around her from behind, cuddling her close now that the doors of her private quarters were securely locked. There was very little privacy to be had aboard the Normandy SR-1 but they had managed well enough in recent months to find time together. _

_"You've been frowning all day."_

_A finger drifted to touch her brow, easing the lines of stress from her face with its gentle contact, lingering until a small smile made its way onto her features._

_"You never miss a beat do you?"_

_His momentary look of confusion prompted her to explain, "I think I frowned only once today…and of all the people on the crew only you seem to have noticed." _

_"Well, you do know I spend more attention watching you than most," his breath was warm against her neck as he nuzzled her softly, dragging her backwards towards the bed by increments._

_"I can't figure out if I should feel flattered or irritated by the fact you have time to watch me, when I have barely time to even get a glimpse of you in between of all these errands the Council is making me run."_

_His fleeting look of amusement coincided with a tender ruffle of her hair. _

_"Well, it's the least you can do considering you took several months vacation after the incident with Saren." His voice was teasing as he tugged her around and pushed her down to her bed, lying down beside her a moment later. She snuggled closer without further prompting, her body fitting comfortably against his, her cheek pressed against the strong slope of his shoulder. _

_"So why were you frowning?"_

_He sensed her hesitation and nudged her gently, his dark eyes seeking out the purple-blue of her own. Filled with a myriad of emotion, the human woman struggled to focus herself. _

_"Nora, what's wrong?"_

_She couldn't even muster a small smile as she began to talk, her fingers drawing lazy patterns on the metallic surface of his armor. _

_"It's been too quiet these past couple of weeks. For the terminus systems it seems wrong." Frowning slightly, she continued, "I can't shake the feeling that we're missing something important."_

_"Something about the Reapers?"_

_"Or about where they're going to strike next, what their next target it. I hate the idea that people will have to be hurt first for us to find out where the Reapers are."_

_"There is nothing else for us to do; we cannot predict where they will appear any more than we can predict what will happen when we next face them."_

_The hand on her lower back slid under her loose shirt and stroked the long scar that ran from hip to shoulder, a reminder of the fight for the Citadel. The pale ridge served as a reminder of the brush with death not easily forgotten._

_"We have to stop them," Nora whispered as she turned to look at him once more, "For all organic life, we _have_ to stop the Reapers, no matter what the cost."_

_"'No matter the cost'" He echoed her words distantly as his hand continued to trace the scars on her back, "I don't want to lose you again; I don't think I'm strong enough for that."_

_"Me neither," her expression was desolate as her hand came to cup the side of his face, "but somehow I don't think we'll have a choice."_

_"We'll see," he spoke roughly, tersely as he rolled her beneath him, pressing his forehead to her own; "I'm not giving you up without a fight, not again. _Never_ again." _

~End Dream~

Nora woke up with a shuddering breath, the scar on her back throbbing with the memory of tender touch.

_Had that all truly been a dream, or were they memories? Why was she crying?_

Pushing tears away with a confused hand, Nora lay in bed for a long moment, gazing unseeing up at the ceiling. She was trembling, from what she couldn't say, but she felt as if she was missing a significant portion of who she was, as if the memories she couldn't remember truly _were_ important and not as insignificant as she had initially thought.

A small flicker of tender affection relit within her heart, holding the only warmth in a body she believed to no longer carry anything but the cold iciness of science. The aching of her heart seemed to reassure the fact she was still very much warm and alive.

_She wanted to go talk to Miranda, maybe somehow find out what she had lost. _

Head aching slightly as she swung her legs around to get out of bed, Shepard paused as her hands flickered with biotic power once more.

_Yet another problem_, the human commander sighed as she felt the burning of her hands return slowly, _she would have to do something about it before it got worse…but how?_

As if to answer her question the bright light of the biotic energy flared once more and this time her fingers snapped reflexively when the glow was at its brightest. The room was immediately filled with small fish-shaped biotic ribbons.

She snapped her fingers again, turning all of the fish into little birds. Again and again, shifting forms whenever her sharp sound echoed from her fingertips, Nora lay back on bed as she watched the ribbons dance over head.

_This all seemed so familiar somehow. _

Once more her mind seemed to provide her with the answers now that she had made the correct statement. Strange that all the answers she needed seemed to be held in the proverbial vault of her mind, awaiting only the proper phrase to reveal themselves.

A set of images flew before her eyes, these clearer than her dream.

_It had been in the Normandy, Liara's room after the Noveria mission. _

"That time with Kaiden and Liara…of course."

The names were familiar, the faces slower in coming around in her minds eyes. Still, she remembered them both; Liara the scholarly but socially untried Asari researcher and Kaiden Alenko, a man she considered the closest she would ever have to a brother, to family.

She didn't know for sure where either one of them had gone to, or even if they had survived the destruction of the Normandy two years ago. But, as she watched the small biotic animals overhead slowly draining away the painful excess of biotic power, there was a sudden comforting sense that she was not quite alone as she had thought.

_Meeting with Miranda could wait. _

"Where have you been?" Miranda was pacing the room when Shepard arrived, her expression one of annoyance thought it was clear she meant to hide it, "You have a meeting with the Illusive Man – go, _now_."

Hating that she followed the order without question, Nora clenched her hands into fists as she stepped into the holographic transmitter finding herself suddenly face to face with the strange turquoise eyes of the Illusive man. A flash of rebellion made her smile; the man looked annoyed at the delay of this meeting.

_Let him be upset_, she challenged him silently as she stared unblinkingly at the head of Cerberus, _it was his decision to bring her back – let him deal with the consequences. _

"Shepard."

Her face remained impassive as she gave him a brief nod.

"Good work on Freedoms Progress." Full of easy, meaningless praise, the Illusive man congratulated her on her latest mission. "The Quarians forwarded their findings from Veetor's debriefing. No new data, but it's a surprising olive branch, given our history. You and I have different methods, but I can't argue with your results."

"You ever think about playing nice once in a while?" Sarcasm seemed to be her new go-to tone for dealing with the people surrounding her, masking the deep sense of unease she had been unable to shake since waking up.

"Diplomacy is great when it works, but difficult when everyone already perceives you as a threat." The embers on his cigar burned brightly for a moment as he inhaled, "But more importantly, you confirmed the Collectors are behind the abductions."

She scowled, "Why do I get the feeling you knew about them already?"

"I had my suspicions," the older man responded evenly, comfortable in his position of power, "But I needed proof. The Collectors are enigmatic at best. They periodically travel the terminus systems, looking to gather seemingly unimportant items or specimens. Usually in exchange for their technology. When their transactions are complete, they disappear as quickly as they arrived; back beyond the unmapped Omega 4 relay."

Is there any particular reason why the Omega 4 relay unmapped?" Nora had certainly never heard of the relay before, "What do we know about it?"

"Only that no ship passing through it has ever returned. Our best guess is that the relay reacts differently to Collector vessels, allowing them safe passage. If they can manipulate relays, that's just further evidence of their connection with the Reapers."

"I still don't see why they've shifted their focus to humans."

"If they're agents for the Reapers, it could be for any number of reasons. Obviously humanity played a huge role in Sovereign's destruction. That might have been enough to draw their attention. What really concerns me is why they bother abducting colonists. Once humans are paralyzed, why not just kill them?"

"So do we know what the collectors getting from these deals?"

Every question was answered with more questions, an ever growing void of knowledge that left too many variables in question. _It was like the Saren case all over again. _

"The Collectors aren't very forthcoming about their motives. Generally they seek out species with rare genetic mutations or abnormalities. They pay slaves and merc groups exorbitant sums to obtain these specimens. And then they leave. But they've never targeted a single species before. And the previous sample sizes were in the dozens, not tens of thousands."

Her eyes narrowed, not missing a beat, "You're holding something back. How do you know the Reapers are involved?"

The man had the gall to smile in amusement, "The patterns are there, buried in the data. The Council and the Alliance want to believe the Reaper threat died with Sovereign. You and I know better. I won't wait until the Reapers are on the march. We need to take the fight to them."

The sense of agreement that bubbled within her was ruthlessly suppressed, "If this is a war, I'll need and army. Or a really good team."

"I've already compiled a list of soldiers, scientists and mercenaries. You'll get dossiers on the best of them.". "Finding them and convincing them to work with you could be challenging, but you're a natural leader. Sparing her only the most brief of glances, the Illusive man shuffled data-cards at his terminal and sent them to her, she didn't bother opening the files

"Keep your list. I want people I can trust – the ones who helped me stop Saren and the Geth."

_Kaiden, Liara…_her mind began to supply additional names and faces, _Wrex, Tali…_

"That was two years ago, Commander." The reminder was surprisingly gentle, "Most of them moved on…or their allegiances have changed."

"Garrus Vakarian," the name had escaped her lips before she quite knew what she was asking, _who_ she was asking about, "Where is he?"

"The turian disappeared a few months after you were declared dead. Even we haven't been able to locate him."

Another touch of despair, this one more profound than any of the others pierced her. She remembered the name, but not the face, not the voice, not a single clue. And yet, her body seemed remeber, her heart tugging insistently, begging for something she couldn't remember losing.

"What of the others?"

For each name she asked, there was one reason or another that prevented them from helping her. And when she was left with no one, the sharp pain in her chest turned to cold anger.

"Ok I get it, they're unavailable" Her voice sounded flat in the expansive room.

"You're a leader Shepard; you'll get who you need."

She needed his sympathy about as much as she needed a bullet in the back of her head. She would _not_ trust him, not for a second.

"You worry about the collectors. I'll make sure my team's ready."

She didn't have any other choice, and so she'd do what she was told – for now.

"Good." The Illusive man took another long drag from his cigar, "Two things before you go. First, head to Omega and find Mordin Solus, He's a brilliant Salarian Scientist. Our intelligence suggests he may know how to counteract the Collectors paralyzing seeker swarms."

"I haven't even started yet and you're telling me what to do?" She kept her voice steady though her hands had once more reflexively tightened into fists. .

"I'm giving you _direction,"_ he spoke as if he was correcting a child, "What you do with it is up to you. I'm sure you'll make the right decision."

_Like he didn't know she would do what he suggested_, Nora frowned once more.

"All right. So what's the other thing?"

"I've found a pilot I think you might like. I hear he's one of the best. Someone you can trust."

She turned around just in time to see Joker walking carefully down the ramp, his expression one of impish amusement, "Hello Commander, you're looking pretty good for corpse."

"Remind me again how you ended up working for Cerberus."

Sitting next to her pilot in the cockpit of their new ship, the Normandy SR-2, Nora Shepard glanced at the brilliant computer interface and winced, she was still as technologically inept as she had been before she died.

Thankfully EDI was proving to be especially helpful, much to Joker's displeasure.

"I ended up getting into Cerberus after the Council clipped my wings, ungrateful _bastards_." Joker had waited until EDI had 'left' before starting to talk, mumbling about back-seat driving despite the fact the AI had told them both she did not have those sorts of capabilities.

"They broke up the team, all the evidence was hidden away, and with you gone there was nothing holding them back. Cerberus found me and offered me a ship, with _you_ as the commanding officer if you can believe that. Hell yeah I was going to join."

"Do you trust the Illusive Man?" Nora asked quietly as she turned to the scruffy face of her pilot, "After all the times we dealt with Cerberus before, do you think it wise?"

"I don't trust anyone who makes more money that I do," Joker shrugged carelessly, "But we need him right now to get the job done, and he brought you back from the dead. That counts for something, not trust necessarily, but something."

His commander managed a smile at the honesty, an opinion she could trust, "I'll have to think about it."

"Fair enough, Commander. I'll be here if you ever want to chat again."

Nora left without another word, her light expression shifting once more to one of stern control, a temperament that only barely masked the aching hole in her chest.

_She missed her old team desperately, missed feeling like she could trust them to watch her back. _

The Alliance Commander walked into the armory and turned to the EDI interface, "Tell me about this room."

_Being dead had been less stressful than this. _

.

Shepard arrived at her very spacious quarters after nearly two hours touring the ship, finding the quarters much like the rest of her new ship, beautifully designed, large, and not lacking in amenities. Remembering the modest quarters of the first Normandy Nora felt a momentary hesitation in her appreciation of the ship. This new vessel was beautiful, but it would be a while before she could call it home. All the same, it was her base of her operations for now, and she had work to do, a mission to complete.

Sighing as she changed out of her armor, the woman glanced at the empty bed with much trepidation; half frightened of what she would find when she closed her eyes. The memory from that morning had left her more confused than not, vulnerable in a way she hadn't realized.

_She didn't want to fall asleep if she didn't have to_.

And so she read, and re-read the dossiers until she knew each candidate as well as she knew herself.

Convict.

Warlord.

Scientist.

The information she had been provided had made everything perfectly clear; the need for the Salarian doctor outweighed any other immediate candidate. Scowling, Nora pushed the data pad on her desk, agreeing with at twinge of irritation that the Illusive man had been right.

_Of course. _

The commander flicked a wayward strand of hair from her eyes, _damned man really couldn't be trusted, but what could she do?_

"Joker, set a course for Omega."

Mordin Solus would be their best bet in the fight against the Collectors, but there was another candidate who was waiting for them at Omega as well. Glancing at the data tablet once more, she read the dossier on the recruit who had so interested her, the Tactician. An enigma, a sharp-shooter who had appeared out of nowhere and had proven to be the justice in a lawless system; Nora smiled a little. His name was charming really, and as she murmured his name out loud, she couldn't stop the small feminine laugh that escaped her lips.

"They call him Archangel…cute."


	2. Chapter 2: Differences

AN: Hello All :) Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback - I was so wonderfully surprised at the positive response. For all those who reviewed, added this story to alert and favorite, thanks all so much!

Also, a quck notice - due to the problems I have been having with grammar I was wondering if anyone out there would be able to act as a beta-reader for me. I want to produce great quality work, and its quickly becoming clear to me that to do that I will need the help of a great editor. if you are interested, or you know someone who doesn't mind - please, PLEASE send me a message, I would love to chat.

Thanks so much everyone - Here's the next chapter, enjoy!

Voi

* * *

Omega was a mercenary's paradise.

Loud, dirty and as gritty as any backwater planet in Citadel space, the unchecked violence of the station played in harmony with the gritty sexuality that seemed to dominate the various public venues. Money could buy anything, anyone, alive or dead, and Shepard wanted Archangel; she quickly found she wasn't alone.

"I'm here to see your boss."

Nora's blue-purple eyes flickered for a moment to the Asari woman dressed in the tight body suit before eying her guards, wondering if perhaps Aria couldn't defend herself well enough without them. The club, Afterlife, reminded her minutely of Chora's Den, if only for the fact that she remembered the dancers.

A_nd a kiss…a soft melting touch in the arms of the one she loved…_

The momentary flash of memory made the woman frown, an expression she quickly hid with one of indifference.

"Well well, if it isn't the resident _saint _come to pay me a visit." Aria's voice was more feminine than Nora would have expected, "Welcome to Afterlife Shepard."

_She couldn't risk thinking about such things now, not when she was surrounded by five heavily armed guards. _

"Helping one Quarian is hardly enough work to warrant sainthood."

Multitasking had always come easily to Nora, but now it truly served her well, replying to the steady stream of conversation while she continued to analyze the so-called leader of Omega. She still didn't think the guards were actually needed.

_Then again, cannon fodder always did have its uses._

Nora didn't doubt for a second that the Asari had gained her position through ruthless maneuvering, and Omega seemed the sort of place where loyalty ran all but skin deep.

_Sort of like the situation she found herself in now_.

Commander Shepard knew without looking that Miranda and Jacob had left her alone on the dais, a solitary target. Then again, she could use this to her advantage.

Nora didn't even bother asking permission as she moved to sit down, her features impassive as Aria's guards growled at the deliberate lack of respect.

_Poor fools didn't know a thing did they?_

The warning, a crackle of biotic power, came from Aria, and as Nora had expected, was directed at her guards.

"Leave us."

More a snarl than proper order, the Asari woman dropped into the seat next to Nora an annoyed expression on her face. She didn't speak until they were completely and entirely alone.

"You make me do that again and I swear I'll kill you."

Having died once, Nora merely gave the other woman an amused, mocking, smile, "You're a little late for that."

Her companion pulled her pistol from her side and pointed it directly at Nora's head, both watching each other unflinchingly for some time.

"When _I_ kill someone, they _stay_ dead."

"So I hear." The wicked smile stayed on Nora's face as she arched backwards and reclined on the plush seating not bothering to push the weapon away from her head, "Speaking of which, I'm looking for two people. I know you're the one who knows where they are."

"I know more than two people, Shepard, but whether I will give you the information about _your_ two people is entirely up to me. Knowledge is power around here."

For a woman who had been dead for little over two years, Nora found the rush of hunt a heady sensation she had all but forgotten since waking up. _She could play these games with the best of them. _

"So you want me do you a favor right?" Purple-blue eyes closed with an exaggerated sigh, "Nothing for free, I get that. So…what will it be? Do you have a pet Krogan I need to rescue from a tree somewhere?"

The ensuing silence was answer enough. Nora's smile widened into a cocky grin as she straightened up to go.

"I do my homework Aria; I'm not one of your usual Omega flunkies waiting to be stepped on."

"I can see that…" The owner of Afterlife seemed to resent her admission, "Alright then, here's the job."

* * * * * * *

"Alright, so I've done your little project," Commander Nora Shepard eased herself into the low sitting bench, a rather brilliant green beverage in her hand, "I need my information."

"Your method was not exactly what I had in mind when I gave you that assignment." Aria groused.

"You asked me to get it done and I _did_. Tell me what I need to know about Archangel, I heard he's in a bit of trouble."

Aria scoffed, "Half of Omega is hunting him down…that hardly counts as 'little,' even by our standards. What do you need him for?"

"I'm building a team; he's on my list."

The smile on the Asari's face was particularly sweet and entirely disingenuous, "Interesting…well, you're going to make some enemies teaming up with Archangel. That's assuming you can get to him. Like you said yourself, he's in a bit of trouble right now."

"Just tell me how to find him."

"The local merc groups are recruiting anyone with a gun to help them take down Archangel. They're using a private room for recruiting…just over there. I'm sure they'll sign you up."

"I appreciate the help Aria."

"See if you feel that way when the mercs realize you're here to help him."

Commander Sheppard got to her feet, "Sounds like I don't have much time to waste."

"You've got all the time in the world," Aria teased, "Archangel…not so much."

Nora mirrored the insincere smile and then turned to go, "Don't think this is the last time you'll be seeing me."

She left before the other woman could make her reply; walking quickly down the stairwell to the private room Aria has spoken about.

"I hear you're hiring?"

The merc thug merely grunted and pointed her through a heavy plate door, where she met the merc recruiter, a batarian who obviously didn't know a pistol from a shotgun.

"Well, aren't you sweet?" All six eyes roved up Nora's armored figure not quite drawing the right conclusion, "You're in the wrong place, honey. Strippers' quarters are _that_ way." He pointed to some location over her shoulder but stopped short when Nora leveled her gun with one of his eyes.

"Show me yours, tough guy. I bet mine's bigger."

Nora didn't bother pushing the issue; her main concern was getting to Archangel as quickly as possible.

"Impressive." Reassessing the woman in front of him, the merc recruiter drew up the proper paperwork, "So you're here to fight then?"

The woman smiled, "You could say that."

Rattling off the various technicalities of the contract, the Batarian collected the required fees before pointing her in the direction of the driver, calling for the next recruit as Nora left the room.

The incoming recruit looked to be little more than a boy.

"Hey, is this where I sign up?"

Nora stopped just short of the door, eyeing the youth that looked for all the world like some wide-eyed innocent.

"You look a little young to be freelancing as a merc." Her voice was hardly raised, but drew the attention of all those in the room.

"I'm old enough." The way his voice cracked suggested otherwise. "I grew up on Omega; I know how to use a gun."

"So does Archangel."

Nora didn't doubt that the boy was going to get himself killed, a notion which the young adventurer didn't apparently share.

"I can handle myself!" Puffing out his chest, he pulled out a pistol of some junk-yard make, "Besides, I just spent 50 credits on this pistol and I want to use it."

_So stupid…_

Uncoiling with all the grace of a predator cat, Nora closed the space between them in an instant, face to face as she pulled the pistol out of his hands.

"Go get your money back."

Jamming the poorly designed heat sink until it was unusable Nora handed the disabled weapon back to the surprised boy knowing there was nothing else he could do. She clapped his shoulder before she left,

"Trust me, kid. You'll thank me later."

She was out of the club and at the small shuttle bay by the time the now ex-recruit realized what had happened.

"Who _was_ that woman?"

It was a question for which no one had an answer.

* * * * * * *

"Well well…it's about time you sent me somebody who looks how they know how to fight."

Another Batarian mercenary met them when they arrived on location this one more competent than the last, "They tell you what we're up against?"

Nora knew full well _who,_ but there was no sense in working with just the bare facts; as Aria had emphasized, knowledge was power here on Omega.

"The recruiter was a little vague."

The Batarian nodded, "We wouldn't get so many hires if everyone knew the truth. Archangel is holed up in a building at the end of the boulevard over there. He's got superior position and the only way in is through a very exposed bridge. It's a killing ground. But he's getting tired, making mistakes. We'll have him soon enough."

Nora nodded, keeping a level head as she thought through her options, _how was she supposed to get across that bridge without dying?_

"I take it you guys have a plan?"

"A small team is waiting to infiltrate his hideout. We need to draw Archangel's fire so they can move in."

"I'm assuming that's where we come in?"

The fact that she was going to have to act as bait wasn't lost on her.

"Exactly."

Nora couldn't fault him for his honesty; at least he was more forthcoming than Aria had been. "You'll be on a distraction team. Head straight over the bridge and keep Archangel busy so the infiltration team can sneak in behind him."

From behind her Jacob moved restlessly, "Sounds like a suicide mission to me."

"Pretty much." The Batarian merc agreed, "But you look like you can handle it. In any case, go up the boulevard and get to the third barricade. You need to talk to a Sergeant Cathka; he'll tell you when to go in."

"So the bridge is the only way to his hide out?"

"Exactly. Archangel collapsed all the other underground passageways and sealed the doors to the lower levels. We've got teams digging, but they're taking too long - if they can get the gunship flying again that'll help. I'm just hoping the infiltration team will do their job and we can all go home."

_Gunship? _The situation sounded like something out of an old adventure vid Nora had watched as a child.

"They were using a gunship to take out one guy?" She didn't know whether to be amused or appalled.

"Yeah, but then Archangel shot it down. He didn't destroy it, but he knew just where to hit it to disable it. It wasn't even a fair fight, at least not for us."

Nora hid her smile behind the back of her hand, smothering a laugh as she turned to give both Miranda and Jacob a very pointed look.

"I guess we'd better go find Sergeant Cathka."

"Good idea," the Batarian nodded a final time, "But watch yourself on the boulevard, Archangel's killed dozens out there already."

Nora smiled, "Will do."

Turning to the two Cerberus operatives behind her, she tapped the helmet in her hands, ordering them to do the same. Omega may not have a toxic atmosphere, but with a Archangel watching the entire length of the boulevard every extra layer of armor helped.

Nora slid the helmet over her head, and waited for the telltale click-and-hiss that signaled the locking mechanism had sealed in place, the electronic HUD flashing to life as the glass tinted. Both Miranda and Jacob followed her lead, their faces all but invisible beneath the darkened glass. From beneath the privacy of her own helmet Nora's confident cocky smile gave way to trembling frown.

She was playing her part well, had always played it well, but she missed being able to take a break from it. It had nearly been her undoing two years ago, she could remember that clearly enough, but now there was no one here to shelter her when she wanted remove the mantle of leader. There was no one to trust in Cerberus, and so she would just have to do what she did best; survive, and somehow, someway find a way to cope.

_She always did._

* * * * * * *

"Well that should take care of things."

Miranda looked pleased as she straightened up from beneath the large assault droid, her white suit still pristine despite the otherwise filthy conditions around them.

"So it'll buy us time?"

Nora might not have trusted the woman, but her own skills were woefully inadequate in dealing with electronics. Cerberus was untrustworthy _not_ unskilled, it was a distinction Nora had quickly put to use.

"I've just reset its parameters, when the mech is activated it should fire on anyone who gets within ten feet. Assuming that we've already reached Archangel by the time they pull this thing out, we should have no problem."

Commander Shepard nodded in understanding before signaling they move on, they still had to find Sergeant Cathka and see if there were any more minor disruptions they could cause among the mercenaries before they were forced over the bridge into Archangels more immediate firing range.

As fate would have it they found the Batarian leader standing in the shadow of the imposing gun ship, his head bent as he spoke with his peers. It would seem she had caught him just as the meeting was ending.

"Ah, the freelancer, Salkie mentioned you."

The mirrored tone of his visor disappeared at the touch of a button.

"Salkie?"

Nora frowned behind her still tinted helmet.

"You met him when you were dropped off, he radioed to say you were coming; you three kind of stand out from the rest of the freelancers. Anyway… the infiltration team is about to give us the signal. Archangel won't know what hit him. Got any questions, this may be your last chance?"

Lighting up, the Batarian sighed, "Well?"

Nora only had one question, trusting Miranda to start working on the gunship whenever she saw an opening.

"Are you leading the assault?"

He laughed, "I don't get paid to fight. I just plan the attacks and fix the damn gunship. You freelancers get the privilege of – "

The computer next to him suddenly beeped.

It was the infiltration team, _they were ready._

"Check, Bravo team – go, go go!" All in the surrounding area cleared out at Catha's command, hauling heavy weapons and thick armor as they went.

"Archangel's got quite a surprise waiting for him. But that means no more waiting for me." Turning on the reflective coat on his visor, the Sergeant moved back to the gunship electrical panel, "Got to get her back to a hundred percent before she's needed again…now where did I put that Omni-tool?

Out of the corner of her eye Nora caught site of the sparking repair tool Cathka had mentioned and wondered if perhaps she should take it with her, it would slow repairs while the mercs tried to find another.

_Still, she imagined replacing a skilled tactical advisor and qualified mechanic would be much harder than any tool, especially once Miranda was done with her own work._

Unbidden, a grin crossed Sheppard's lips, her eyes focused on the back of the now unsuspecting Cathka. Picking up the device she idly tossed it up in the air, wondering for a long minute if she could bring herself to go that far. In the past she had always prided herself at being straightforward, honest, and not underhanded.

_Two years was enough to change anyone. _

The grin on her lips grew wider, "You know you're working too hard, Cathka. You need to _relax."_

His scream of agony echoed in the empty hangar a second later as she slapped the pronged end of the fork into his back where his life-support system attached to the rest of his suit. The smell of burning flesh filled the air as the crackling electricity all but cooked the man in the suit.

Strange, but the decision had been easier than she imagined it could have been. Looking at the charred corpse at her feet Commander Shepard found that there was neither sorrow nor uncomfortable guilt in the way she felt about what she had done.

_She had had a problem, and killing this man had fixed it, what more was there to know?_

Turning from the smoldering remains Shepard signaled both Miranda and Jacob to her side, "Let's get this over with."

* * * * * * *

She had started killing the mercenaries the moment they had breached the bottom floor of Archangel's base. Shielded from view by the heavy plascrete columns and various obstructions, she took each one out with ruthless efficiency. The rush of adrenaline with each successive explosion from her shotgun made her smile, and the use of her L5 implant had more than made up for its otherwise unsatisfactory side effects.

And then there was new talent she had discovered, the benefit to having a partially cybernetic body and excess L5 power, Biotic Charge. It had been an accident really, finding out what she could do. One moment she had been standing at the bottom of the stairs trying to avoid the hail of bullets from above, the next she was face to face with a _very_ surprised mercenary. She pulled the trigger before either one of them had taken their next breath.

The strain on her body had been tremendous for a while afterwards, her body just a touch less responsive in movement, the ability to move requiring a bit more effort despite her high levels of adrenaline.

But it had been worth it, the look of fear in the eyes of her prey an all too powerful drug.

Commander Shepard grunted as she disposed of the last mercenary on the upper level, shrugging off the lingering effects of her last Charge. Miranda and Jacob were still finishing the lower level but would no doubt join her once they had finished.

_She had to go check on Archangel. _

Weapon still in hand, Nora crossed the now empty upper floor a grim look on her face. She didn't doubt they had prevented any mercenary from shooting him in the back, but what was to say a mercenary sniper hadn't got a lucky shot while the fighting had been going on inside.

Rounding the corner, the sound of gunfire grew louder once more, though the smooth metallic sound of sniper recoil echoed almost systematically within the confines of the room in which Nora had found herself.

Archangel was seated not more than ten paces from her own position, his elongated body just slightly curved as he focused his rifle and cleaned up the remaining mercenary forces.

Unrushed, calm under the stress of passing bullets, he squeezed the trigger once, twice, after the third all extraneous gunfire seemed to have stopped.

_He had killed the last of them_, at least for the time being.

Pulling away from the window ledge, the mysterious Archangel turned in place and paused suddenly as if surprised to see her, his expression lost beneath the dark of his visor.

"Archangel?"

Her voice seemed to bridge the chasm between their two positions, but felt too loud in the newly fallen silence. Awkwardly Nora took a step closer and holstered her shotgun in what she hoped was a sign of trust.

_She couldn't have him thinking she was here to finish a kill. _

But as he straightened, what caught her attention was not the fact that he had accepted her gesture, rather, her attention fell instead on the smallest finger on his right hand. Strange, but she recognized that habit, that bent finger, curved while his other two had straightened; the detail seemed bring with it a torrent of images and sounds.

Nora looked up immediately and braced herself, it was another memory.

~Memory~

_Bang!_

_Sighing deeply, she turned away from the firing range, her eyes stinging from intense focus and her arms aching from the unfamiliar position she had held for the better part of two hours. She really should be sleeping, but sleep has eluded her yet again this evening, her mind filled with horrendous flashbacks better left untouched._

_Shuffling to the sharp chrome weapons locker she pulled out yet another box of ammunition and turned around to once more move towards the firing range, only to find herself blocked. _

He really did seem larger when he was upset, more physically imposing in a way she rarely saw.

_"Shepard."_

_Looking up with blurry eyes, Nora frowned as she tried to focus on the face above her, smiling suddenly when she succeeded._

_"Couldn't sleep either?"_

_He didn't bother responding, moving instead to pull the long barreled sniper rifle out of her hands. "You should be resting."_

_He wasn't smiling._

_"You're upset with me." _

_It wasn't a question, she knew him well enough to read his moods. She immediately felt like a child, caught doing something she shouldn't have. Which was ridiculous really, she was the _Commander_ not an infant. If she wanted to stay up late working with a stripped down sniper rifle then she was well within her rights. _

_Nora looked up at him with a frown of her own, ready to defend her right to practice when he spoke up, his voice both tired and anxious._

_"I was waiting for you at the apartment, when you didn't arrive at your usual time I worried."_

_Nora went from upset to guilty in all of a second, her eyes immediately lowering to focus on the floor. _

_"Oh...I…."_

_"I know you're sorry Nora, but you really shouldn't be out here this late."_

_"I'm _not_ a child." She argued, albeit minimally, still feeling too guilty to retaliate._

_"You're not a child," he nodded in agreement, "But you _are_ a very stubborn woman, one who needs to finish her healing before taking to the firing range. Doctors orders remember?"_

_Shepard nodded miserably, "I just wanted to get some practice in; you know I'm a terrible shot at long distance."_

_His arms tugged her gently into his chest, comforting with its all encompassing warmth and familiar rumble as he began to speak. "It's a good thing you bring me along then, that way I can take those shots for you. Just think what would happen if you got any better, I'd be stuck on the Normandy while you brought someone else along."_

_Nora looked up him for a moment before grinning, "So you're here to safeguard your position on the squad and not because you love me? Oh it's just too terrible…no, don't try to deny it! You've admitted your ulterior motive."_

_She smiled as she struggled against him, laughing at she feigned distress, "No, it's just too terrible…I can't believe it. All of it was a farce…"_

_Funny that he seemed to know just the right thing to make her forget her train of thought, indeed forget anything but him. Her arms wound around his neck as he tugged her closer, burrowing his forehead against the side of her neck._

_And when at last he released her, she remained where she was, her eyes temporarily closed as she leaned against him, savoring the contact. _

_"Now, what were you saying about not loving you?" His voice was husky as he turned to cradle her face in his hands. Her eyes opened slowly to reveal dazed purple-blue. _

_"I…can't remember."_

_They both smiled._

_"Come on, let me get you home."_

_He took her hand and moved to leave the private room, her sniper rifle looking more like a child's toy in his other hand._

_"Wait…" She hesitated, her eyes once more on the distant target located at the end of the firing range, "Just one?" _

_When he started to argue again Nora shook her head, "I meant…let me see _you_ shoot one."_

_"You've seen me more than once; I've been with you on nearly every mission. You need to be in bed, not watching me shoot."_

_"Please?"_

_He sighed, "Only one."_

_Her answering laugh was response enough, and as she settled herself on a nearby chair he readied himself, falling into the position that had been ingrained into him as a young cadet. _

_Neck relaxed, muscles ready but not tense, breathing a steady flow unbroken by nerves or the events around him. _

_"Whenever you're ready."_

_Nora's voice had dropped to a whisper in anticipation, her eyes almost glowing in the dim light._

_The shot crackled through the air a moment later, striking the target through the center cleanly. _

_Smiling as she watched him straighten, the lingering curl of his smallest finger caught her attention, and his._

_"Hmm…it's been a while since that's happened."_

_Coming up beside him, she touched the bend in his finger, "What is it?"_

_"My stress twitch. I never could master the 'complete relaxation' during basic training; the finger had a tendency to curling up whenever I got stressed…or nervous."_

_"So do I make you stressed or nervous?" Nora smiled as she looped an arm through his._

_"A little bit of both I suppose…though I think 'nervous' more so than the other." _

_He smiled down at her and ruffled her hair affectionately._

_"Come on, let's get home."_

_Nora smiled back, "Right behind you Garrus." _

_~End Memory~_

Nora felt her head snap up as the memory disappeared, her eyes looking but not seeing.

_It couldn't be…_

H_e was standing right before her. The one she had loved…who had protected her…who…_

Nora staggered a little, using her hand to steady herself; hey blue-purple eyes wide as Archangel removed his helmet and placed it on a nearby crate, crossing the room towards her still figure.

_She remembered that face…the fluid movements and deadly grace. _

Her voice shook as she looked into familiar dark eyes, "Garrus?"

The turian didn't respond until he had tugged her further into the room, away from the open window and any potential attack. Large hands grasped her helmet on either side and gently pried the locks open, the soft hissing release of locks just barely audible over the sounds of voices downstairs.

Carefully the helmet was removed, pulled up and away, until her silky hair was released and splayed across her brow. For the first time in two years they were face to face, and nothing felt as it once had.

_A terrible grief tore through her._

He didn't smile when he looked at her, his eyes dull though from exhaustion or something else she couldn't say. There was no tender embrace, no soothing hand through her hair or around her waist.

"Shepard. I thought you were dead."

She couldn't remember a time when he had ever spoken to her quite like this, could barely remember him at all, but she knew enough to feel a difference in the way he was treating her now. She wanted to laugh, cry, _something_, but all she could muster was a half-hearted smile, "Hello Garrus, what you are doing here?"

"Just keeping my skills sharp. A little target practice." There was a lack of heart in his words, a roughness to his usually smooth voice.

"Are you ok?"

She moved to touch his arm in concern but stopped short when he jerked back suddenly. Her smile widened as she fought the pain of rejection, settling a false tilt of her lips like a perfect little mask, disguising the way her heart ached.

"I've…" looking away, Garrus continued to speak, "Been better, though it is nice to see a friendly face."

Nora could only nod with her smile still in place, hands locked tightly behind her back, the pain helping to center a mind too emotionally overwrought.

_They were barely more than strangers now, _friends_, if she was willing to his words. She had no claim on him, no reason to hurt as deeply as she did._

"What are you doing on Omega?"

Speaking softly, Nora walked a few paces away to check on the landing below, ignoring the fact that she no longer wore her helmet.

"I got fed up with all the bureaucratic crap on the Citadel, figured I could do more good on my own. At least it's not hard to find criminals here. All I have to do is point my gun and shoot."

"That still doesn't explain how you pissed off every major merc group in the terminus system."

"It wasn't easy," Glancing over her shoulder she saw a flicker of humor in his eyes, "I _really_ had to work at it. I'm amazed that teamed up to fight me. They must really hate me."

Nora managed to muster only a little more truth to her smile before turning back to the floor that Miranda and Jacob were keeping clear. "It does seem you've made yourself quite the nuisance. Though I have to ask, when did you start calling yourself Archangel?"

"It was just a name the locals started giving me. For all my good deeds…I don't mind it. But please, it's just 'Garrus' to you."

Nora couldn't manage to look at him again, but _Commander Shepard_ had no problem nodding in response to an old crewmate.

_Commander Shepard, the role, the leader, would be the only way she would survive the heartache. _

Unwittingly Nora's hands tightened on the railing before she sighed, accepting what she had to do, turning to face him once more, her true expression lost behind the impenetrable mask of control and friendly camaraderie.

"You know, you nailed me good a couple of times by the way." One long tapered finger pointed to just left of her jaw.

"Concussive rounds only. No harm done. Didn't want the mercs to get suspicious."

Commander Shepard merely gave her old squad mate a look, "Uh-huh."

"If I had wanted to do more than take your shield down, I'd have done it. Besides, you were taking your sweet time; I had to get you moving."

"Well, we got here. But I don't think getting out will be as easy."

"No it won't." Garrus picked up the sniper rifle at his side and moved languorously to the window ledge, "That bridge has saved my life, funneling those witless idiots into scope. But it works both ways. They'll slaughter us if we try to get out that way."

"So we just sit here and wait for them to take us out?"

Miranda and Jacob had arrived, their presence once more asserting the power of the Illusive man over them all.

"It's not all that bad." Garrus responded mildly, "This place has held them off so far. And with three of you…I suggest we hold this location, wait for a crack in their defenses and take our chances. It's not a perfect plan, but it's a plan."

"If we fight as a team we'll hold them off."

"You're right; their numbers won't help them in here anyway. Let's see what they're up to…" Lifting up the rifle, the turian rogue lapsed into the momentary silence of concentration. "Hmm…looks like they know their infiltration team failed."

Beckoning her forward, he settled the heavy weapon in her hands. "Here, have a look. Scouts. Eclipse, I think."

Through the reticule Nora could see an ever swelling number of robotic drones amassing on the other side. She handed the weapon back clumsily when she was finished.

"That looks a lot more than just scouts."

Tense but now worried, Shepard knew well enough that the upcoming battle would test her in more ways than any previous Cerberus mission she had been on.

"Indeed." She watched as Garrus tightened his grip on his sniper, "We better get ready. I'll stay up here; I can do more damage from this vantage point."

Watching as he turned to meet her gaze, she could have sworn he almost smiled, "You…you do what you do best. Just like old times, Shepard."

Nora couldn't help but smile back, a ghostly almost invisible smile, "Just like old times."

* * * * * * *

The firefights had been going on for a little over two hour, long tense moments of furious activity momentarily broken by equally strenuous periods of silence. Fighting to seal the basement doors had heavily damaged all of their armor, but they had managed to close both with only minor injuries. As it was, Nora had only two more packs of medigel left after treating a sever burn on Miranda's side and a gash on Jacob's forearm.

_They had to get to Garrus and then punch through the remaining tatters of the mercenary defenses before they wore themselves out. _

But no sooner had Commander Shepard cleared the bottom floor when she heard the sharp automated roar of an engine, and the blaring voice from a loudspeaker calling for Archangel.

_The gunship had been repaired._

Swearing as she ran up the stairs, an explosion of fire and wreckage made her stop short as she entered the room where she had last left her old crewmate.

She found his prone body lying in an ever growing pool of his own blood.

"Garrus?!"

He didn't respond.

"Garrus!"

She had made it only half way when the gunship reappeared in the window, its operator crowing in victory. Half hidden in the glare of the windshield, she could see enough to know it was the Blue Sun leader Garrus had mentioned earlier.

And that was when Commander Shepard knew _true_ rage, cold and merciless as it pumped through her veins and cleared her eyes.

_She'd kill the damned bastard herself._

Pulling the heavy weapon from the strap on her back she checked the small digital reader, her expression serious.

_Six shots…more than enough._

She waited until Jacob had garnered the attention of the ship before standing upright, leveling the weapon and firing four of the small rockets. The first two slammed into the propellers, the third into the main fuselage, and the fourth directly through the glass and into the cockpit.

The explosion seemed to rock the very foundation on which they stood.

Commander Shepard didn't bother waiting for a signal that she had indeed killed the pilot, choosing instead to fire the last two rockets at the burning wreckage before discarding the weapon entirely.

_She had to check on Garrus. _

Miranda had already begun to administer the last two medigel they had when Nora arrived at his side, her hand gently ghosting across his head crest.

"Garrus?"

Half afraid that he wouldn't respond, his sudden shuttering gasp and gurgling breath seemed all the more painful to hear.

_There was no doubt he was dying. _

"We're getting you out of here Garrus, just hold on!" Whispering softly, she removed the heavy tint of her helmet so that he could see her better.

His eyes seemed to lock on hers and hold, a desperate attempt to focus on something, anything, to keep the pain at bay.

Trembling slightly as she cradled his battered body, she couldn't help the way her hand clutched his own as she ordered Joker to their position and sent Miranda and Jacob to clear the landing zone of any surviving mercenaries.

She wasn't going to leave his side until the doctors were here, and she wasn't going to forgive the bastards who had hurt him.

_Kill them, _she had ordered through their com-link, _I don't care who they are, if they get in your way, kill them all. _

* * * * * * *

Nora had remained in the large meeting hall ever since arriving back at the Normandy, not trusting herself to follow the doctors down to the medical ward nor talk with Miranda about a mission that had gone quite horribly wrong.

_She should have reacted faster when she had first seen the gunship, done more to prevent it from becoming operational. _

The crackle of biotic energy and stinging on the side of her face served as a reminder that if she continued to pursue this particular avenue of thought the implants Cerberus had given her would have a harder time working. Finger tracing the circular scars on her cheek, Commander Shepard wondered if Garrus would have something similar now.

_Assuming he even survived._

Nora bent over one of the railings and sighed deeply, trying to exhale the tension from her shoulders as her biotic powers spiked once more.

_She _had_ to remain calm. _

The sudden touch on her shoulder made her jump, and nearly sent Jacob flying through the air for a second time as her biotics lashed out like a whip. Thankfully it seemed the Cerberus agent had anticipated such a response and managed to dodge the otherwise concussive biotic shock.

"Remind me to stop doing you favors." Despite the sting of the words, the taller man smiled, "You busy?"

"Not really," Commander Shepard turned and nodded apologetically, "Sorry about that by the way, force of habit."

"You don't like people standing too close?"

Purple-blue eyes focused a little more on the man standing before her, "We're both Vanguards, Jacob. The only time anyone is close enough to touch us is when we're standing a foot away and sending shotgun shells into center mass. I don't like the sensation of being boxed in without my weapon."

"Fair enough." The man nodded, "I had just wanted to give you an update on Archangel."

"On Garrus?" Nora looked at her companion for a long moment before turning away, not trusting herself to keep composure, "What of him?"

"Commander. We've done what we could for Garrus, but he took a bad hit. The docs corrected with surgical procedures and some cybernetics."

Closing her eyes, Nora grit her teeth, the damage would have had to be extensive to implant cybernetics.

_If only she had acted faster…_

"Best we can tell, he'll have full functionality, but…"

The metallic hissing of the doors sliding open made both of them jump in surprise. "Shepard."

Nora looked across the distance and saw the deep scars on the side of his jaw, his face. What he was doing up so soon she didn't know, but the damage to his face made her heart ache anew. It served as a warning for her, as if asking her if she would willingly sacrifice him on the mission the Illusive Man had called suicidal by any standard.

_Damn but her hands were shaking; she had thought he would still be unconscious on the operating table. _

Looking away for a moment, she struggled to collect herself.

Laughing in admiration, it was Jacob who acted as distraction, shaking his head in disbelief as he got a good look at the Turian vigilante, "Tough son of a bitch. Didn't think he's be up yet."

"Nobody would give me a mirror." Walking cautiously into the meeting room, Garrus turned to speak more to Shepard than not, "How bad is it?"

It was Commander Shepard, not Nora, who answered with a playful smile. "Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face-paint on there and no one will even notice."

The response was immediate, and for a moment so heartbreakingly familiar that _Nora_ surfaced enough to smile a little too.

"Ha-ah…oh," Garrus laughed for a moment groaned in pain, "Don't make me laugh, damn it." He grinned as he shook his head, "My face is barely holding together as it is. Still, some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women as Krogan…"

Shepard grinned before nodding Jacob out of the room, turning back only when the door had firmly slid shut leaving the two of them alone.

He was the first to speak, his voice echoing in the metallic chamber, "Frankly, I'm worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard? You remember those sick experiments they were doing."

Tilting her head, Commander Shepard met those blue eyes with the calm collected reasoning she had long since forced herself to repeat, if just to keep her walking forward.

"I don't have much in the way of choices, Garrus. The Collectors are wiping out human colonies, Garrus. Nobody else cares enough to stop it."

She sat on the corner of the table as she waited for him to respond, one hand idly tracing the designs etched onto the surface.

"I suppose I can't argue with that." He answered after a long silence, "Hard to believe the Council is letting the attacks go unanswered, though. Damn politicians."

He sighed as he let the rest of her information sink in, coming to a decision. Turning to leave, he paused at the doorway "I'm fit for duty whenever you need me Shepard. I'll settle in and see what I can do at the forward batteries."

Commander Shepard smiled, "It's good to have you aboard once again Garrus."

He left without another word, taking with him the smile on her face, the calm which she had projected so convincingly.

_Neither one of them had spoken about those final few minutes on Omega, nor was there a good chance they never would. The painful tightening in her chest seemed all but unbearable. _

And with the renewed heartache Commander Shepard disappeared, leaving only _Nora_ to catch the elevator up to her quarters, to lock the interior door and ordering EDI not to let anyone in.

And when she had removed her armor, luxuriated in her shower as she washed away the dirt and noxious smells of Omega, it was not into the tunic length Cerberus uniform that she changed. Instead, she pulled out a large shirt and shorts, items which EDI had been so kind to supply upon request.

_There was a familiar sense of peace she associated with such informal garments. _

Curled up on her bed, the thick blankets pulled snug around her waist, Nora closed her eyes and allowed one small shuddering sob as she drew in a deep breath a pulled herself slowly back together.

_She did not have the time nor the safe harbor to cry here. After two years there was little to soften the blow that the world she had known was gone. Garrus was now a friend, nothing more. She would have to come accept that, as she had learned to deal with her nightmarish childhood on Earth._

She was a survivor, she _would_ persevere.

Pulling out a battered paper novel, Nora pulled the covers up a little higher before turning the first page, her eyes scanning, searching ,reading, hoping that somehow, someway, the text in her hands would make her forget about memories better left forgotten.

_But it was too late already, and no amount of hoping could undo the way her heart had begun to fracture._

~Main Battery~

Garrus sat quietly in the small space he had made, content in the low hum of the main battery and the muted sound of voices just outside. Eyes closed, the turian breathed slowly, easily, though he was still very much awake, aware.

So much had happened in the past couple of hours, the past couple of years.

Loss, pain, deception, the amount of disappointment threatened to crush him.

_And she was alive._

Struggling with the realization that once more his Commander had once more escaped death, the guilt all but suffocated him.

_Hadn't her near death on the Citadel taught him anything?_

Two years of utter loneliness, of terrible undiluted grief and anger, throwing himself into whatever dangerous situations he could find. His work on Omega had been all he could do to try and move on, doing what he believed in while cherishing the gift of life she had given him for the second time.

Shifting slightly, the soft clacking noise of a disk on the floor made him open his eyes.

It was a vid copy of the old Normandy crew celebrating their victory over Sovereign the day before they had had to ship out once again.

Reaching down Garrus delicately picked up the chip and gently inserted it into his Omni-tool in much the same way he had for the past two years.

He knew every detail of the video, had listened to Kaiden and Wrex get into the same argument over Batarian Ale, while Liara had smiled at the camera before turning to pull another woman before the camera.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_On four, Commander Nora Shepard appeared, her face flushed with mirth, her hair mused and eyes bright with laughter. Grinning, she had poured the young Asari a very generous glass of some human vintage wine before turning to face the camera directly. Hands on her hips, she looked so serious that for a moment he almost wondered what he had done wrong. But then her lips had curled upwards in that familiar smile, shy almost hesitant before she blew a kiss at the camera. _

_'Love you.'_

_She smiled again, tender as she tilted her head to the side for a moment. _

_'Love you.'_

Garrus choked softly as he turned off the vid, unable to watch any more.

The pain of losing her had torn at him every time he had watched the vid, every day of every year he had blamed himself for losing that smile, those words. And never once did he forget her startling shyness or affection.

_He had been the one holding the camera. _

Closing his eyes in pain once more, he could do nothing but accept the two years that had done nothing but twisted who he had been. Garrus had recognized well enough the emotions on her face as he had lain there dying, but there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say.

_That man…the one she had loved, no longer existed. _


	3. Chapter 3: Parallel

AN: Hello Everyone! Thank you all so much for the plethora of lovely reviews - I can't believe how positive the response has been thus far! Once again, I want to thank you all for your support and taking the time to read my work, it really does mean a lot to me.

Also, I wanted to give a shout out to the lovely Zepheera for agreeing to be my Beta and doing all the hard work in this story - without her, this chapter would be woefully under edited or refined :)

Hope you all enjoy this next installment of Space Between - and as always, I don't own anything you recognize!

Voi

* * *

"So I've been wondering…are we in a race with the Collectors?"

Nora was having a long overdue conversation with Joker en route to recruit the next on her list of candidates.

"I suppose you could call it that…though I don't think that's what you mean, is it?

"We've already blown through six solar systems in less than a month and retrieved three of the four recruits the Illusive Man informed us about."

"I've been setting a fairly aggressive pace," Nora agreed, "But I would have thought you'd be excited by all the flying around. Last time, when we were running after Saren, I seem to remember you complaining that we were spending _too_ much time on any one mission."

"I'm all for running a tight ship and an even tighter schedule, Commander; but it's been pretty intense around here. I'm starting to _feel_ the mass relay jumps." Joker patted the thick leather pilot's chair he sat in.

"Well, if everything goes well on Purgatory then we can make a stop at the Citadel for a bit of a break. I got a message from Anderson, seems like he wants to see me."

"I can imagine." Joker gave her a careless grin before sobering suddenly, "Still, this prison ship, Purgatory, I'd watch my back. It has a bit of a reputation out here."

"So I've gathered," Nora nodded to the silent blue VI that hovered nearby, "EDI has been letting me use the Cerberus database for research."

Her pilot sent EDI a dirty look but remained silent, for once refraining from commenting on the less than pleasant relationship the two shared. The sentiment of tolerance was something Nora seemed to have projected since picking up not one, but _three_ non-human squad members.

_Garrus._

_Mordin._

_Grunt._

"You know, Commander, I've been meaning to ask you something. Permission to speak freely?"

Nora smiled, "I've never known you _not_ to speak freely, Joker; but sure, permission granted."

"I wanted to ask about Garrus."

The smile on his commander's face dropped just the slightest bit, remaining where it was by force of will alone.

"What about him?"

"I noticed the change in squad composition; you're not taking him on missions with you."

"It's been two years since we last worked together, Joker." her voice was melancholy as she turned to look out the window at the stars, "Nothing stays the same. Besides, the missions to pick up Mordin and Grunt were hardly what you'd call turian-friendly."

She didn't have to look at her pilot to know his expression was one of skepticism, though he was kind enough once more to leave it in silence.

_Just as well, since she was in no position to explain, had no idea _what_ she would explain. _

Turning back to both pilot and VI, Nora hesitated before speaking, "I've been thinking about taking him on _this_ mission, though. Mordin too."

"It's your decision Commander, though I have to admit having Mordin around the ship when you're planet side makes me twitchy. The man's a genius, but damn if he doesn't talk like someone hopped up on too many stims."

Grinning, Nora tried to stifle a laugh with the back of her hand, giggling helplessly as she half-bent over a stray chair.

_He had described Mordin perfectly. _

"What can I say?" Joker grinned at their shared mirth, "I call them as I see 'em."

Nora laughed for a moment longer before slowly coming back to center, regaining her sense of peace slowly, in degrees.

"Thanks for that."

Joker grinned, "Any time commander."

"I had better get going then - You'll let me know when we get to Purgatory?"

The pilot nodded, smile still on his lips, "You got it."

* * * * * * *

"Commander?"

Nora barely hid her wince of pain as he called her by her formal title, reinforcing the certainty of the terrible chasm between them. She had managed to avoid such heartache by remaining far away, too confused by dreams, snatches of memory, and the outward cool composure of her onetime lover, for her to risk doing more. Her heart still ached in confusion every time she saw him, managed to glimpse him in the mess hall or in the confines of the lower decks.

_She had started spending much of her time alone in her room, EDI kept the doors locked. _

"Hello Garrus, do you have a minute?"

His sharp blue eyes flickered to the side before focusing on her face, his expression unreadable as he nodded, "Just finishing up some weapons algorithms."

_He seemed to be fitting in well then, finding things for himself to do. _

"It sounds like you're doing well then," she smiled, "No problems from the rest of the crew?"

"They are as accommodating as I can expect, a surprise considering all of the reports of Cerberus as an earth-first movement."

Motioning to the small number of crewman milling around the kitchen Garrus shrugged, "It suits me fine here, and the upgrades to the Normandy have been impressive to take a look at. Part of me wonders why we didn't start working with Cerberus earlier."

"We're not working _for_ Cerberus," Nora looked up at him, frowning, "Besides, last time we spoke, I thought you were less than pleased by our association with the Illusive Man."

"I still am, but the lack of rules, our ability to deal with problems the way we see fit, it feels pretty ideal."

Nora shifted uncomfortably, "Just because we have more resources and fewer rules doesn't make working for Cerberus any better. I still don't trust them."

"Trust is something in short supply out here in the Terminus Systems," Garrus' voice agreed distantly, "

"I trust _you_." Nora spoke softly, half afraid to voice her thoughts.

"I'm not sure that's such a wise decision," Garrus answered, his back to her. "You don't even know who I am anymore."

The words came harsher than she expected, and she felt slightly taken aback at his sudden shift in mood.

"What are you saying?"

"A lot has changed in the time you've been gone, Shepard."

"But we're still friends," her voice was firm, though her heart had quailed a little, "You said so yourself when I found you on Omega."

He sighed softly then, his larger form turning slowly until he was facing her once more, his face serious, eyes fathoms deep with an emotion she couldn't, _wouldn't_, identify.

_The man you remember is gone._

He didn't have to speak, his expression was explanation enough.

_"I…" _Nora swallowed audibly, her expression strained, "I can't accept that."

"Is it that you can't or that you won't?"

It was both of course, but she couldn't bring herself to answer, her mind still spinning around the implication that she had forever lost the man who was so deeply ingrained into her memories of the past. Suffocating, Nora felt her panic rising steadily, higher and higher until she was unable to contain the grief.

"_Nothing_ has changed!"

Silence reigned for a long moment after her outburst, a surprised expression on her face though his remained unreadable in the dim light.

"You're upset with me."

His rumbling voice bridged the space between them, an accusation though there was no anger in the tone of his voice, merely acceptance.

"I'm _not_."

Shaken, Nora ran a hand over her eyes and sighed deeply, "You've done nothing to warrant me being angry at you, I am _not_ upset."

But she was frightened of the implication, had spent the last month trying to avoid it and clutch to the tender romance which she only remembered from fragmented memories.

"Yes, you are," his voice was steady as continued to watch her, "And it's not because of what I've done, and it has nothing to do with Cerberus."

She frowned, not understanding exactly what it was he was talking about, but his admission seemed to force the air from her lungs.

"You're in denial, and it has to stop." Garrus spoke evenly, betraying not a single emotion, "It's been two years, and we've changed, both of us."

"No…" Shaking her head violently, Nora couldn't stop the blood as it drained from her face, "I-"

"You've been avoiding taking me on missions because you don't know how to deal with me anymore. You know it's true." Brilliant blue eyes pinned her, urging her to accept the truth, "You're needlessly endangering your life and those of your squad because you won't be honest with yourself about your weaknesses."

_She felt as if she was back in Basic being told the issues she had with command, forced to listen to her superiors as they belittled her in front of the class. _

Heartsick, Nora looked down at the ground, her face grave.

"I'm worried about you," He spoke softly, gently titling her face upwards to face his own, "It's clear you're distracted and it's going to cost you with the stakes being as high as they are."

"I…"

"Nora." His voice was tender as he spoke her name, not like the stiff formality of her title. "You have to let it go, this distraction. It's the only way we'll all survive."

_Let go of what they had for the greater good. _

His message couldn't have been clearer.

And she could have, _should_ have done the smart thing and agreed, or lied. The damage to her memory had proven to be considerable when it came to Garrus; she only had half a dozen memories on which to base her feelings. A more logical woman would have accepted that he was releasing her from a relationship of which she had no knowledge, of any obligation or forgotten promise. Free from everything, she could find someone else and Garrus would remain bound to her by friendship; because despite everything, they trusted each other deeply, without reservation.

_Even now. _

"I can't." Half blinded by pain, Nora looked at him for a long moment, her eyes slowly filling with tears, "I _can't _let it go, let _us_ go."

His expression grew shuttered then, and though she hadn't moved, his hand fell from the side of her face, pulled away.

Stepping quietly out of his shadow, Nora retreated from the room, towards the sealed doors. Tears threatened at any minute, and she couldn't bear to burden him with anymore lack of control.

_She had thought she was dealing with the distance between them, she hadn't been expecting such a deep chasm_

The doors slid open and she stumbled through, turning to face Garrus for the second that it took for the doors to slide back in place. Back turned, he didn't even bother to look up.

A lone tear slid down her cheek.

"I'm sorry."

* * * * * * *

Nora had taken the elevator down to the engineering level in order to escape, substituting the chaos of its noise and deep growling for the throbbing chaos in her chest and heart.

_She needed to think. _

There was an alcove beneath the engineering office, an out of the way spot she had come across the first few days of exploring the new ship. Small, it had just enough to house a modest bed, desk and bookshelf. Nora didn't bother taking off her shoes as she climbed into the cot and wrapped the blanket around herself, desperate for some sort of comfort.

Confusion made her head spin, leaving her feeling ill; the pained throbbing of her heart only compounded the feeling, tearing at her.

_Two years ago she had been able to balance both her budding relationship and the duty she had to the Council as a Spectre. All of that control was lost now, gone with the part of her humanity Cerberus had replaced with cybernetics. _

Muffling her sobbing with the pillow, Nora struggled to calm down, to gain some measure of peace.

_It was selfish of her to want him despite distraction and duty, selfish and unjust because he had been alive for the two years she had been asleep. She owed him for his loyalty, no matter how much he claimed to have changed._

She resolved that before they took off for Purgatory she would have to go back and apologize, release him from the contract that no doubt bound him more fully than it did her. Chest aching, eyes burning from the tears, Nora shuddered as she accepted what she had to do and then promptly fell asleep.

~Dream~

_She had awakened in the middle of the night to find herself alone; a state of being she had yet to get used to despite her discharge from the medical ward. Shivering slightly, though her room was warm, Nora sat up and got dressed quietly, efficiently, not bothering to turn on the lights._

She had to see him_._

_The rapid transit was still working despite the hour, despite the destruction to parts of the Citadel not four months gone. Nora savored the ride in silence, watching the lights flashing across the tinted windows like small stars._

So much progress in such a short time, but still there was a lot to do.

_Nora arrived in front of his apartment moments later, the tall building one of the few that had escaped any serious structural damage. She paused as she counted the windows upwards, stopping when she counted the fourth floor; the light was out._

He was asleep then.

_She had known he would be, of course, but she still wanted to see him. Hesitating, part of her wondered if she shouldn't just go back home and sleep in her own bed, without bothering him. _

_Her body seemed to ignore her, slipping through the apartment entrance and taking the elevator to the appropriate floor before she quite realized where she was._

Was she really going to do this?

_She had the copy of his number combination in the pocket of her pants, given to her on the last day of physical rehabilitation, a small reward. _

She wanted her prize now.

_His door slid open easily, noiselessly, and she entered to find the room modestly, albeit sparsely decorated. Nora smiled slightly, her apartment wasn't much better in terms of décor._

_She found herself in his bedroom a second later, suddenly feeling silly and embarrassed as she looked down at his sleeping form. _

_He looked exhausted, but there wasn't anywhere else she wanted to be. _

_Slipping her coat and shoes off Nora hesitated for just a minute more before sitting at the side of the bed to gently caress his face._

She had missed him.

_Sliding under the blankets, she curled up against his side, snuggling against warm skin, savoring the familiar comforting smell. His arm tightened reflexively around her waist when at last she had settled against him. Gentle, yet protective, she smiled as she looked at him through the darkness._

Even if it meant sneaking to him in the middle of the night, there was nowhere else she would rather be.

She was meant to be by his side, it was all she could ask for.

~End Dream~

* * * * * * *

He knew where she had gone the moment she had left him. It was instinctual, following her, and two years of separation had not dulled his ability to find her.

_Though he really had no idea what she was doing down in engineering. _An uncomfortable twisting in his gut suggested that he was being purposefully dense; _of course he knew what she was doing. _

Their conversation an hour earlier had all but left him speechless, terribly confused, a mix of agony and soaring joy.

_She had refused to give him up. _The memory brought with it a rush of emotion that left him feeling weak; _she had looked at him and told him that friendship was not enough for her. _

He had wanted to shake her, yell at her, beg her to take back her words and release them both from a promise meant for the couple they had been two years ago.

_He wanted to laugh in triumph, hug her close and spend the evening together with her in bed like they once had, believing that two years had changed nothing. _

Sighing, Garrus walked out of the elevator and turned through the door on his left, eyes adjusting rapidly to the dimmer lighting. Despite the muted hum of the engine and murmured voices in the room just ahead of him all else was silent, _she_ was silent.

He took the stairs down to the lower level three steps at a time, moving soundlessly as he descended and found the room he was looking for, the _woman_ he was looking for.

She was sleeping.

Short hair splayed across the pillow, her eyes closed and face relaxed, the only difference between now and those moments two years ago was that he was no longer sleeping beside her.

_But he wanted to be…wanted to be at her side to see her wake up. Wanted…_

~Memory~

_There was a warm body next to him when he woke up that morning in the apartment. Having spent the past several months in one of the still-standing Citadel apartments, Garrus had found the presence of a large luxurious bed in the room an anomaly, much like the person in his bed._

_He had lived with Commander Shepard during the course of the Saren mission, when he had lost his C-Sec apartment. But now, with a place of his own, the turian couldn't think of anyone who would come and visit him. No one came to mind immediately except…_

_Garrus slowly opened his eye and saw a familiar mop of hair, closed eyes edged by a thick fringe of lashes. Feminine curves all but hidden beneath the too-large shirt she wore as nightgown, he felt them acutely as she pressed more fully against his side, mumbling softly in her sleep. _

_"Nora."_

_He didn't know what she was doing here; she had been assigned another apartment on the other side of the Citadel, closer to the medical ward, just in case. _

He should have known she would ignore the order in favor of something else.

_Sighing softly, he allowed his hand to ghost along the curve of her spine, savoring the contact. She had been out of the intensive care unit for well over a month now, released from the med ward just a week past. He hadn't realized she would seek him out so quickly. _

Had something happened?

_As if to assuage any fears, she nuzzled the side of his neck, her hand splaying possessively across his chest as she made a sound of contentment in the back of her throat._

Strange, but their time apart seemed to all but vanish now that they were together.

"Nora."

_Usually a light sleeper, the woman at his side didn't even stir. He stroked the hair away from her face as he smiled, _it was a good thing they had been allowed a week of rest before resuming their mission in hunting down the Reapers.

They could both use the rest.

_He stayed and watched her for over an hour, savoring the quiet way her chest rose with each breath, the slope of her delicate nose and the way she seemed so entirely at peace. And when at last he left the bed it was only to go to the kitchen; if all went well, he would have brunch ready by the time she got up. It was more work, cooking for two biologically different beings, but the reward was always worth it._

He didn't think anything compared to her smile.

_And so, he set about rummaging through his shelves, looking for something to suit them both._

There was nowhere else he'd rather be.

~End Memory~

Her soft whimpering drew him back to reality, her distress drawing his attention like a beacon.

Moving towards her was instinctual, but he stopped just shy of her bed, coming to his senses in a rush.

_He shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't even be in this room with her. _

Conflicted, Garrus struggled with his indecision, to move to her side or leave, rooted to the spot not two feet from where she struggled in the throes of her nightmare.

_She could never know about this, if he did this...it was too dangerous for either of them to continue this fanciful relationship. Better she believe him indifferent to her. _

His hand was on her forehead before the thought even finished, pushing back sweat soaked hair as he coaxed the blankets up around her shoulders; she was shuddering.

"Nora…" rubbing her back, he crooned softly as she continued to struggle against the nightmare, her breath coming in sharp gasps of terror.

Murmuring, he gathered her more fully into his arms and held her close, hands moving to gently caress the side of her face, the curve of her back. Slowly and by degrees she quieted, curling into the warmth of his body as if to drive out a chill.

So much had changed between them, but his body remembered her; how to hold and keep her safe. She was lighter than he remembered though, the scars on her cheek new, though almost healed.

_Different, but the same_.

He nuzzled her short hair and felt the familiar tug of emotion gone these past two years. Closing his eyes, the feeling welled more deeply.

_She was in his arms once more, safe, if just for a moment._

It ended less than a minute later when she stirred slightly, soft groan on her lips. Watching as awareness slowly returned to her lethargic body, Garrus paused for only a moment longer, savoring the last seconds of their time together before depositing her once more on the bed, tucking the blankets around her as he straightened.

_She could never know about his visit here. _

Leaving her side was made easier only by the need to keep his presence concealed. And though he remained outwardly unaffected, the image of her sleeping form lingered in his mind for hours afterwards.

_She would never know._

* * * * * * *

"Ah! Shepard!" Mordin was waiting for her by the time she made it to boarding station, his hands on a data pad of scrolling figures and graphs, "Wanted to talk. Medical matters."

"Medical?" Nora frowned slightly, "What about it?"

She had been feeling distracted ever since waking up from her nap in the Engineering Bay, both by what she had to do and the sense that she had somehow missed something by falling asleep.

"Collectors. Was looking at samples and discovered possible-"

Before he could go on, the doors to the hangar slid open, revealing the slender form of Nora's second in command.

"Hello Miranda."

Voice even, Nora felt the flicker of annoyance pass through her before it dissipated. The past month had helped to make the relationship between the two women solidify into one of strict business, the coolly civil tone in both their voices the closest they would ever get to friendship.

"Is your team ready, Shepard?" Miranda strode into the small hangar, dark hair flowing silkily over her shoulders, "We've sent word to Purgatory; they should be waiting for you."

"We'll be going in a bit, last minute logistics before going in."

_Garrus had yet to show up._

She had forgotten to ask him when they had last talked, and had only _just_ sent him a message about the mission.

Part of her wondered if he wouldn't just ignore the request, the other part knew Garrus to be a good soldier who would do as he was asked_, regardless of what he felt on the matter. _

_She didn't know which was worse. _

"Ah, hello Vakarian."

Nora turned to the door and found Garrus framed there, the familiar silhouette of a sniper rifle against his back.

"Glad you could make it," smiling faintly, Nora felt a tug in her chest and promptly suppressed it.

_They had a mission to complete, she couldn't be distracted now._

"Let's get going, the sooner we finish this the better."

* * * * * * *

The prison ship was just as she had imagined it. Part of the Terminus Systems, it was as brutal as the people it housed. The sense of desperation was muted beneath the coldly metallic environment in which it survived, but it was there nonetheless.

Nora knew from experience that desperation twisted even the most level headed person.

This wasn't a place she where she wanted to linger.

"Welcome to the Purgatory, Shepard." She was met by an armored turian bearing the Blue Sun insignia, flanked on both sides by several more armed guards. "Your package is being prepped and you can claim it shortly."

The guard paused as he caught sight of the number of weapons she had strapped at her waist and across the back of her suit, "As this is a high security vessel; you'll need to relinquish your weapons before we proceed."

Nora smiled slightly as she shook her head. "I can't do that."

Immediately half a dozen weapons pointed in her direction. Behind her, both Garrus and Mordin had reacted in kind, her smile widened ever so slightly.

The tense moment of silence ended seconds later, disturbed as yet another turian appeared.

"Everyone stand down." The presence of the leader was unmistakable, iron control and cold calculation as absolute as the ship in which they were standing. Nora felt the back of her neck prickle in warning but didn't move, her pleasant smile still fixed firmly in place.

"Commander, I'm Warden Kuril, this is my ship. Your weapons will be returned on the way out. You must realize that this is just a standard procedure."

"It's my standard procedure to keep my gun," she didn't really need her weapons, her biotic power would provide her at least some sort of protection, but to forfeit both shotgun and pistol to a stranger was not something she did, _ever_.

The warden seemed to figure this out quickly enough.

"Very well, let them proceed. Our facility is more than secure enough to handle three armed guests. We're bringing Jack out of cryo right now. As soon as the funds clear you can be on your way. If you'll follow me to processing for the pickup, Commander."

Hearing both Garrus and Mordin holster their weapons, Nora nodded accommodatingly, "Let's go."

The walk through the facility felt more like a guided tour than tense walk from one cell block to the adjoining room.

"Cell Block Two. As you can see, we keep tight control over the population."

Looking through the thick glass Nora watched as large mechanical arms pulled small cube-shaped cells from a stack and fastened them to the appropriate tunnel segments.

"Each cell is a self contained modular unit. I've blown a few out the airlocks as an example. The ship is made up of thirty cell blocks identical to this one. We house _thousands_ of criminals. We can put the whole place in lockdown at a moment's notice. _Nothing_ goes wrong here."

Moving a little closer to the window to examine the facility Nora paused for a moment, the tapered slimness of her hands resting against the glass.

"Can you tell me about Jack?"

She had a dossier full of information that told her nothing of importance.

"Cerberus hasn't told you?" Nora couldn't tell if the Warden was actually incredulous or just humoring her. "Jack is the meanest handful of violence and hate I've ever encountered. Dangerous, crazy, and very powerful, you'll see soon enough. "

Continuing with the tour, Nora followed wordlessly behind the Warden, trailing behind even Mordin as the Salarian kept pace with their guide, his large eyes meticulously taking stock of the entire ship.

It was only when a warm hand gently nudged her forward that she realized just how far back she had fallen.

"Garrus?"

He didn't look at her as he continued to push her steadily along, hand applying only the barest amount of pressure to make her keep pace. Smooth and subtle, the way he moved them both seemed so intensely familiar, _almost as if…_

The violence of the headache nearly made her sick where she stood. A wave of nauseatingly sharp pain striking at the very front of her brain, Nora stumbled a little in surprise her eyes unseeing as her knees suddenly gave way.

_It had all happened so fast. _

Warm hands caught her before she hit the ground, easily holding up her weight before she was transferred into the more delicate embrace of another.

"What…"

Blurry though her vision was, Nora could tell easily enough that the eyes that looked down at her were far too large to be turian.

"Mordin?" She could barely push the word past numb lips.

"Silence please. Medical matter. Must check for symptoms. Focus. Calibrate appropriate dosage for weight and species type. Will take a moment, please wait."

In the next second a familiar prick of a medical syringe penetrated the side muscle of her neck. Cold though it was, the injection was painless and though Mordin has asked for a 'moment' Nora could feel the effects of his work almost instantly.

"Thank you."

"No need for thanks Shepard. Doing what I do best." The Salarian shrugged carelessly, "Would be useless otherwise."

There was a flicker of _something_ in Mordin's eyes when he had responded, but a prison ship was not the place to ask. Nora settled for patting his shoulder quietly before extricating herself from his helpful hands and walking slowly to where the Warden and Garrus were discussing security protocol.

_So he had been acting as a distraction then. _

Unable to help herself, Nora patted Garrus' back as she passed, following as Warden Kuril took them around the bend through one of the reinforced plate doors.

"Out processing is just a little further down this hallway, just keep going past the interrogation rooms and the Supermax wing. I'll catch up with you later, Shepard."

He left then, without any ceremony, abandoning them in the middle of a hallway. Walking past two interrogation rooms on the way to the aforementioned processing room, Nora tried her best to ignore the screams.

_She lasted all of a minute. _

Shoving past one of the many onlookers, other guards she turned to the turian in charge.

"Would it kill you to show some compassion?" Her voice was harsh as she snapped at the taller male, "Do you _like_ having this sort of thing on your conscious?"

Shifting uncomfortably, the guard shook his head, "I'd love to be able to let him go, but orders say we need to interrogate him. Not that it'll help of course, the information we get out of these things is usually useless."

"Then _do_ something about it. Call it to a stop!" Nora wouldn't plead with the man, but she remained as unshakably convincing as she had been two years ago, a master of language and the art of directive conversation.

When Nora left moments later, to lead her team down the large hallway, it was to a sudden tranquil silence.

"I hate that." Passing a gloved hand over her eyes Nora mumbled to herself to try and distance herself from the scene from which they had just departed, "This is the consequence of having no laws, no rules, _violence._"

The processing wing was all but empty when they arrived. Save for a lone custodian, his face grim as he set about his task, there were only a few sparse benches and a single poorly watered plant in the corner.

"Out processing is through the door at the far side of the room. "

Voice gruff, the single prison staff member didn't have time to stop in his task as they passed him by, "Only door there, you can go straight on through."

Nora had only just arrived at the aforementioned door when it slid open to reveal a small enclosed space very unlike how she imagined.

_Was that…_

"My apologies Shepard," overhead the speakers crackled to life, the voice that of Warden Kuril, "You're more valuable as a prisoner than a customer. Drop your weapons and proceed into the open cell. You will not be harmed."

Warring between surprise and flaring anger, Nora growled as she drew the shotgun from its holster at her back.

"I'd like to see you try."

The world erupted in the next second, forcing Nora to take cover behind one of the overturned benches that seemed to lie like corpses across the floor. From her crouched position, Nora could see Mordin on her right his aim steady as he took out several of the incoming guards.

_And if Mordin had her right flank covered then that meant…_

"Got your left Shepard."

_Just like before…_

Everything felt almost the same as they fought their way through the prison, holding off wave after wave until they managed to hack through the door and get into the Supermax wing.

She didn't bother letting the scientist finish his distress call, and when his body fell lifelessly across the control board, Nora didn't hesitate to pull him off and deposit him at her feet.

"This will control the locking mechanism on Jack's cell?"

The security on the computer terminal seemed easy enough to decode, even for one as unskilled as herself. Still, she had no idea what would happen if she did go ahead and break into the system to override the security codes.

"Mordin, any idea about the computer?"

"Believe that if we hack that control, every door will open, not just Jacks. Caution is advised."

Nora sighed as she walked to the large viewing window and looked down a floor to where a small battalion of heavy mechs remained unmoving.

"It just couldn't be a straightforward pick-up, could it?"

A ghost of a smile made its way onto her lips.

_This too seemed very familiar, different, but in some ways very much the same. _

Turning back to the security terminal, Nora paused for a moment to issue the appropriate warning, "Be ready."

Almost immediately the large mechanical arm activated, as did the collection of heavy mechs, all of their attentions trained towards the raised dais in the center of the room. One by one, tall cylindrical locks came undone, releasing a steady hiss of frigid air into the expanse of the room as the main prison cell rose from the ground, white clouds billowing outwards to frost the edges of the observatory windows.

When at last the air cleared Nora got her first look at Jack, surprised to find her preconceptions of their newest recruit so completely overturned.

"Jack is…female?" Garrus sounded as stunned as Nora felt.

Small but certainly neither slight nor skinny, the muscles beneath her slender figure were solid, and the tattoos that covered her body only seemed to emphasize the rigidity of her shape. Her expression fierce and without mercy, Jack's feminine features seemed almost at odd with the harsh lines hatred cut into her.

Pausing for only a moment, Nora didn't have time to react as Jack suddenly launched herself at the awaiting droids; biotic power flaring as she over-powered the mechs and continued on, _through_ the reinforced walls that had held her.

Nora almost laughed as she turned to Garrus and Mordin.

"Come on, we've got to get her before she gets herself killed."

_Some things never changed. _

* * * * * * *

The damage to the Purgatory was catastrophic, the life support systems slowly beginning to flicker out as Jack continued to punch through more and more of the ship's hull. Nora had made the mistake of tapping into a radio frequency used by the prison. The cacophony of noise, orders and the screams of the dying had seemed to fill her head for those few seconds before she could change it.

_They had to find Jack before she made the ship self-destruct. _

Nora had quickly amended her comment about needing to find Jack for her own safety, if anything they now needed to find the convict if just to prevent their own lives from ending aboard this ship.

Pushing out of cover, Nora signaled both her squad mates, checking in with them at their separate locations; Mordin had taken her forward right, Garrus was on the catwalks above her.

"Everything reading ok?"

Murmuring under her breath, Nora's eyes caught sight of yet another flurry of movement, lost a second later as it disappeared behind a door.

"Hold up. Possible hostiles, 200 paces ahead, either of you have a confirmation?"

Neither gave a response, and so Nora crept closer, steeling herself as she crossed the open space in front of the door, the lack of cover making her acutely aware of her own disadvantage.

"Hold up, Shepard." Garrus' voice stopped her short, keeping her behind cover, "Lots of activity ahead of you. It looks like the Warden is there too."

"Kuril's there?" Nora had heard his voice several times on the com-transmissions, but hadn't actually considered running into him again. "How many guards?"

She didn't doubt they could take out however many armed mercenaries there were, but Warden Kuril's presence was likely to make any shot that much harder to take.

"About a dozen, maybe half are droids so that shouldn't be a problem. The only issue that you might have is – "

"Have information on high energy field. Very important to tell you, impossible to penetrate with standard weapon fire."

Mordin was back in his element, explaining the particular of the energy field, allowing Garrus to fill in as necessary. Between the two of them, Nora felt as if she was getting the one tech lesson EDI had forgotten to give her.

"So, do you understand what you need to do?" Garrus asked after their conversation finished a good thirty seconds later.

"Basically put, I have to destroy the three power lines feeding the barrier before it'll go down." Nora smiled despite the situation, envisioning how both Mordin and Garrus had likely winced as her very basic understanding of the barrier. "Alright then, you two stay sharp. I'm going in."

And then she was moving through the doorway, drawing the attention of both Kuril and those of his guards.

"Ah Shepard…"

Nora ducked behind cover just in time to avoid a particularly nasty hail of gunfire.

"You're valuable Shepard. I could have sold you and lived like a king. But you're too much trouble!" The Warden sounded tightly wound, on the edge of hysteria, "At least I can recapture Jack."

"Not happening." Angry at Cerberus for putting her in this situation, and her own troublesome fame for making her a target, Nora didn't bother moving out of cover to respond, "You're a two-bit slave trader and I don't have time to deal with you."

"I do the hard thing civil governments aren't willing to do. This is for the good of the galaxy!"

Having done significant amount of work for 'the good of the galaxy' Nora was admittedly less than convinced.

Pinning two guards in place with a well placed biotic wave, she took them out with her heavy pistol. Another biotic blast took care of another careless guard, before she was forced to take cover once more, swapping her heavier weapon for its lighter cousin, thrusting a thermal clip in with a snap.

_Nothing caused panic quite like watching someone catching on fire. _

From the corner of her eye she caught sight of reflective armor, turning towards it instinctively.

She was a fraction too late to stop the volley of shots, the first two bouncing harmlessly on her barrier before it broke allowing the other three lodge themselves into her light armor. Swearing softly, Nora pushed away from her cover and ducked behind another, just as the loud crackle of electricity sent her assailant down in a twitching mass.

"Must be more careful Shepard, almost got shot through. Would make mission more difficult."

Mordin's ever calm voice reached her the same time that his steady hand patted her on the back. "Get ready, more on their way."

Nora merely nodded silently, adjusting her stance only slightly.

_She had to stay focused. _

* * * * * * *

_"Oh damn it all."_

Swearing under her breath as she took cover, Nora wiped the sweat from her forehead and tried to ease the burning of her shoulder.

_They were taking too long, make their final push and find Jack. _

Tapping Mordin on the shoulder to switch places with him, Nora gave him his instructions before taking a deep breath, and running through the debris strewn cargo room.

Hard pressed by the rain of bullets that finally pinned her behind a reinforced safety railing, Nora managed a look at Mordin and found the Salarian in an equally dire situation.

Only Warden Kuril remained but his presence was near suffocating as he released wave after wave of gunfire.

"Garrus," Voice harsh from physical strain, she coughed sharply to clear her throat; "If you can hear me, I want you to focus on Kuril. Take the shot as soon as his barrier and armor are down. Mordin and I can deal with those, but you _need _to be ready."

"Reading you clearly Commander," his flanging voice echoed clearly through the com.

Mordin pulled through then, managing to disable the almost entirely impenetrable barrier Kuril had been wearing. Seeing her opening, Nora felt the buzz of biotic power gather in the back of her skull, cool and soothing, mounting in ever greater amounts as she waited, one second, then another, then…

Nora looked right at the Warden and smiled grimly, _charge._

She had crossed the vast space between them in all of a second, releasing a paralyzing wave of biotic energy as she slammed her body's weight into the much taller turian warden.

Shotgun out, she managed to fire three solid shots before Kuril recovered, the warden ignoring weapons entirely as he lunged at her. Rolling to the side, Nora had only just got to her feet once more when she felt the sharp bite of talon across her cheek, cutting flesh.

Biotics flaring instantly in retaliation, Nora doubled the barrier around her, finding her hands locked in larger ones, unwilling to let go if just to avoid having those same claws find purchase elsewhere.

"Garrus take the shot."

She could feel her arms beginning to shudder from the strain of attempting to physically match a well-trained turian soldier. All she had to rely on otherwise was whatever lingering amount of biotic power she had left, power she used to keep her arms from snapping.

"Garrus…"

_She may have been implanted with cybernetics, but that didn't mean she was any stronger than she had been before. Why was he hesitating?_

Gritting her teeth, Nora continued to draw more biotic power into her arms.

_She was nearly running on empty._

"Damn it Garrus, take the shot!"

Roaring into her headset, Nora doubled the amount of effort she put in holding the warden back, drawing the last of her biotic reserves to reinforce arms that were on the brink of splintering.

_She wouldn't be able to hold out much longer._

The sharp crackle of a sniper firing cut through the air a second later, the impact of the shot making the body towering over her jerk in response as a second shot was fired and hit its target. A third shot finished the kill, sending the turian toppling over the edge of the platform on which both he and Nora had both been standing.

_Her arms were burning, her shoulder aching, but she had other things she had to worry about._

"Garrus." Voice tight with something akin to anger, Nora called to him on a private channel, "When we get to the Normandy, you and I are going to need to talk."

"Yes Commander." There was not an ounce of hesitation in his voice now that the fighting had stopped. He knew what had to be said, and Nora could only hope that she was just a prepared.

"Let's move" Taking a deep breath in, she straightened with a slight grimace, "If Jack makes it to the Normandy we're going to have some problems. Watch each other's backs and we'll be out of here soon enough. Move out."

* * * * * * *

Watching Jack fling two of the three guards across the hall like mere ragdolls, seemed like something out of the space holos Nora had watched as a kid.

_Strange, beautiful, dangerous in only the way that biotic power could be_.

The purple-blue fields seemed to bend the air between them, distorting the space as it ripped one of the guards to pieces, the other had been luckier.

Nora shot the last guard before he could squeeze of the shot meant to hit Jack in the square of the back. It drew the biotic's attention immediately, her expression distrustful, angry and more than a little half wild as she turned towards them.

"What the hell do you want?"

She looked much younger than Nora had been expecting, her small stature immediately calling to mind the young street urchins Nora had grown up with.

"You're in a bad situation and I'm going to get you out of here."

"Shit. You sound like a pussy."

Unable to stop the way she grinned, Nora shook her head, _Jack had a mouth alright. _

"I'm not going anywhere with you. You're _Cerberus_."

It was as if suddenly someone had taken all of Nora's distrust and given it living form, as if she was talking to a mirror image of herself. The sensation was an strange one.

"I'm here to ask for your help."

Jack took two steps towards them, her hands clenching, white from the force of her anger.

"You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me away somewhere. You think I'm _stupid_?"

For all that she knew they needed to have this conversation, Nora knew well enough that the Purgatory was not going to last much longer with all of the residual damage done to its interior support system.

"This ship is going down in flames, we can get you to safety and we're _asking_ for your help."

Mordin, it seemed had a slightly different idea.

"Perhaps shooting would be best? Could always patch up on Normandy afterwards."

His suggestion almost made Nora want to try it, if just because it sounded faster and more productive than whatever conversation she was having with Jack. Still, she needed Jack to trust her, something which was not likely to be achieved if they _shot_ at her.

"We're _not_ going to attack her."

"Good move." Jack didn't smile as she praised them, "Look, you want me to come with you, make it worth my while."

"Tell me what you're thinking"

Nora didn't have time to negotiate, if Jack knew she wanted something, then this conversation could be finished that much more quickly.

"I bet your ship has lots of Cerberus databases. I want a look at those files. See what Cerberus' got on me. You want me on your team; let me go through those databases."

Nora couldn't have cared less about the information the Illusive Man had stored aboard the Normandy, "I'll give you full access."

Jack's blunt-tipped finger poked Nora directly in the chest, "You better be straight up with me."

Nora nodded in reply but had already started moving, getting her squad – all four of them, to safety, "Let's get going before this ship blows."

* * * * * * *

Nora had only just entered the Normandy after Jack when trouble began once more, this time appearing in the form of the head of Cerberus Operations.

"Welcome to the Normandy, Jack. I'm Miranda, Shepard's Second-in-Command. On this ship, we follow orders."

It took Jack all of one second to look at Miranda and draw her own conclusions. "Tell the Cerberus cheerleader to back off Shepard; I'm here because of _our_ deal."

Nora merely looked at each woman in turn her expression carefully neutral, "EDI, please give Jack the files she looking for. Miranda, meet in your office, we need to arrange a way to deal with what's left of the Purgatory."

Watching as both Jack and Miranda seemed poised to tear each other's heads off only made Nora sigh.

_She missed Tali, Ashley and Liara. _

* * * * * * *

"What are you doing here?"

The younger woman was openly hostile as Nora settled herself on the floor, leaning against the side of the table, her eyes closed. She had ordered Joker to set a course for the Citadel with every intention of talking to Councilor Anderson, but before she could face her old captain she needed time to sort herself out.

_She had had to fight Miranda on every decision concerning their last mission, whether or not to alert the Council, and what to do about Jack now that the biotic had become part of the team. She had yet to visit Chakwas about the damage done to her arms. _

"I _asked_ what you were doing here!"

The temperamental outburst from the other woman should have gotten on her nerves, but Nora barely spared her a glance before closing her eyes again.

_She had claimed the engineering room long before Jack had ever stepped foot on the ship, there was no way she was going to leave just because the younger woman was throwing a tantrum. She used this space to think, so that was what she was going to do._

"Hey listen, you might be the head-honcho around here, but this is _my_ space!"

A flicker of biotic power lit the small room for a moment, a stray flicker of emotion, annoyance, Nora hadn't managed to contain as well.

"Jack," her voice was clipped, "The fact that I am sitting in your room is secondary to the fact that you are _living_ aboard _my_ ship."

"I wouldn't be aboard this damned vessel if you hadn't shown up!"

"No, I don't suppose you would be anywhere else but back on Purgatory. We can still turn around and drop you back off if you'd like."

When Jack didn't answer, Nora opened her eyes to look at her, "If you want off, then you are more than welcome to leave. But I will need the Cerberus files back, immediately."

There was a lack of sympathy in her voice, a harshness that seemed so uncharacteristic with the soft spoken woman who had offered her ship as a means of escape. Jack had always has a knack for bringing out the very worst in people.

Scoffing, the younger woman leaned forward, "I'd like to see you try and get me to give those files."

Meeting her gaze, Nora's purple-blue eyes flickered in challenge, "You won't have a choice."

"Oh really?" Scorn turned Jack's feminine face into a feral mask as she stood up and readied herself for the fight she thought was coming.

An almost inaudible sigh passed through Nora's mouth, "EDI, please re-encrypt all files pertaining to Subject Zero in the Cerberus Database."

A dawning look of realization flashed across Jack's face just before she grabbed at the data pad lying on her bed. Frantic searching only confirmed that the Cerberus VI had done her job both efficiently and accurately.

Throwing the now useless orange tablet aside, Jack looked up, face flushed in anger. "Fuck you."

Ignoring the profanity, Nora closed her eyes once more, unafraid of the threats. "Force won't get you everything, Jack."

"It helps."

Lips turning up into a faint smile, Nora sighed, "Not as often as you'd think."

There was a lengthy pause before Jack spoke again, "I'm going to want those files back, Shepard."

"You'll get them back eventually."

"And when exactly is that?" There was annoyance in Jack's voice but the violent intent was gone, for the moment.

"I'll need you focused for the next mission, consider the files yours once it's done."

"I can't believe this," the disbelief in her voice was quickly turning to anger once more, "You're just like all the rest, aren't you?"

Nora didn't bother responding, knowing that Jack would continue once she was upset enough.

"Using me for the biotic powers in exchange for something you already promised." Scoffing, Jack shook her head in disbelief and growing animosity, "And here I was thinking you were the paragon sort, all saccharine sweet and good decisions."

"You agreed to work for me before you came aboard the Normandy," Nora reminded her patiently, "The fact that you wagered your data files in challenging my authority is your own fault. I had allowed you access as per our agreement; that contract still stands. I'm gathering a squad to survive a suicide mission; I don't have time to teach you how to play nice. If you want the files again _earn_ them."

"I've killed enough people to earn those files a hundred times over."

"This isn't about how many you've killed, it's for what reason."

"I kill because it's fun."

"That wasn't the answer to the question."

"Then what _was_ the question?"

"I asked _why_ you kill, not how it makes you feel."

When the younger woman fell silent, Nora turned to Jack with a knowing look, "Or would the real answer get too personal?"

Jack scowled at her then, "Never pegged you for a bitch either."

Nora turned to look at the biotic, her expression ironic, "You're one to talk."

Jack snarled, straightening suddenly as she advanced on Nora, biotic powers flaring. "You know what? I'm sick of this – sick of you. Get out, _now_, before I splatter you across the walls."

Commander Shepard paused for a moment, silently observing, before responding, "And where would that leave you, I wonder?"

She got up as she spoke; crossing the room until she stood at the base of the stairwell, "Don't think too highly of yourself Jack, you're part of a team now, there's a lot you still have to learn."

Nora left without a backward glance, disappearing into the solitude of her room just in time to receive a message from Yeoman Kelly; the Illusive Man had another mission for her.

Smiling faintly, Nora realized Jack would have her opportunity to get the files back sooner than expected.

_Just was well since the younger woman had no idea what would happen if Nora was pushed past her limits. She hadn't survived a childhood on Earth by doing nothing. _

A crackle of biotic power shot through the room and exploded one of the glasses beside her bed.

_The headache had returned again, she would have to go to Mordin to get another shot of medication. _

Looking grimly over the top of her hands, Nora took the coldly beautiful shards as a warning.

_There were some limits better left untested. Some things better left unsaid. Somehow, Nora doubted she would have that luxury. _


	4. Chapter 4: Trust

AN: Hello again everyone - thanks again for your continued support! Just wanted to send a shout out once again to the lovely Zepheera for editing my work, and for all of you who took the time to really critique my work and sent me your honest thoughts about the past couple of chapters. Speaking of which, just wanted to give you all a heads up, as there will be NO chapter update until the week of the 15th due to my sudden influx of work. So, until then, enjoy this chapter and I will see you all around :)

Enjoy! And as always, I own nothing you recognize!

~Voi

* * *

"EDI told me we're now on course for a colony called Horizon?"

Jacob was the first to speak up, asking the questions for all those who had bothered to show up for the mission briefing. Only Mordin had failed to be present, mumbling something about being 'close to a breakthrough' when Nora had last spoken to him.

_At least one of them was staying focused. _

Looking up from the mission data, Nora looked at her fellow vanguard, "It wasn't my original plan, but the Illusive Man has made this priority one and I have to agree. Our most recent intelligence suggests that the Collectors plan to attack the colony any day now. It's the most warning we've ever had, and we can't let that sort of data go to waste. We need to try and stop them as soon as possible."

"Any idea who you're going to take with you when you go planet-side?"

Nora glanced at Jack's scowling face before turning back to answer Jacob's question, "Not as of yet. I'll let you know when I've come up with something. Other than that, everyone is dismissed."

Her squad filed out the door, Garrus was the last to leave.

Pausing just inside the room, he waited until Nora drew even with where he stood.

"You wanted to speak with me, Shepard?"

A gloved hand tucked a stand of hair behind her ear as she turned her face upwards to look at him.

"I'll meet you up in my quarters?"

The fact that her statement could have been interpreted as an invitation of a distinctly _different_ nature was all but ignored by the two soldiers standing in the empty room. They both knew why she was asking him go up to her room; and it had nothing to do with intimacy and everything to do with being unmonitored by EDI, Miranda _and_ the crew on the third level.

Nora had always been very conscientious in how she disciplined her subordinates. There were certain things that had to be done in order to reinforce the chain of command without damaging the links that held them together.

"EDI will let you in when you reach the top, I'll follow shortly. Mordin sent me a message while we were in the meeting, said it was urgent, I'll be up as soon as I can."

Garrus merely nodded and turned the corner, disappearing from view.

_There was a lot yet to be said. _

* * * * * * *

By the time Nora had finished speaking with Mordin, the impending prospect of discussing the last mission with her turian crewmember was suddenly less terrifying than it had been. Then again, as Mordin had mentioned, her current state of pleasant calmness could be the result of one of the shots he had given her for the intense headaches she had been experiencing off and on.

"EDI, is Garrus still there?"

"Officer Vakarian is presently examining one of the fish in the aquarium. When I asked why he keeps looking at that one in particular he says it reminds him of home."

Stepping into the elevator, Nora continued her conversation with the Normandy VI. "Is the fish indigenous to Palaven?"

Curious, because she couldn't remember Garrus ever speaking of his birthplace in any great detail, Nora listened as EDI continued to chat away.

"To be honest," Nora spoke aloud, "I can't even remembering buying any fish, much less seeing one in the aquarium."

"Well, unless you are suggesting Officer Vakarian can see _ghost_ fish, then it is very likely you have several small creatures swimming around."

Grinning at the reply, despite the tart tone voice, Nora faked surprise, "Well I never would have guessed…EDI, you're developing a sense of humor!"

"I lay the blame entirely on the shoulders of Mr. Moreau," was all the VI said, before the elevator doors slid open and Nora was once more faced with the task at hand.

Pausing to take a deep breath, and slowly exhaling as she steadied herself, Nora opened the final door to her room to find that EDI had indeed been telling the truth. She couldn't help but smile.

_He really was looking at the fish in the aquarium._

"Commander?"

Focusing once more on the man in front of her, and not her own wayward thoughts, Nora took in the too-stiff set of his shoulders and slight shift in his weight from one foot to the other.

"Why do I get the feeling you want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you?"

"Whether I like it or not, I will accept what you say." His response was automatic, the product of years of training, "Besides, I have something to say to you, too."

Nora frowned slightly as she walked into the room, moving around Garrus to perch on the edge of her desk, "Do you want to talk about it first?"

"You're the Commander; it's your decision."

His answer was evasive but the tone of his voice mirrored the underlying tension she could see in his body.

"You can go first."

Nora would never be able to get through to him if there was something already on his mind. She already knew of his betrayal by Sidonis on Omega, but this tension was of a completely different variety.

His response was immediate.

"Back on Purgatory, what in the world were you thinking?"

His voice sounded choked, tight with anger and anxiety. Slowly he turned to face her still-seated form, his shadow falling over her completely.

"What do you mean?"

Nora started to cross her arms and struggled not to grimace, dropping them to hang by her side instead. The painkillers had helped, Mordin had seen to that, but the effects of straining her body well past its limit lingered. The uniform she had found in her room had gloves long enough to cover the terrible bruises but did nothing to help them heal.

_Chakwas had said the deep muscle tissue would need time; there was nothing else to done in the mean time, her enhanced body would fix itself soon enough. _

"That _jump_ across the room, the biotically enhanced… _something_." Garrus' flanging voice was nearly a growl as he caught the expression of discomfort, "And then ordering me to take that _shot_. Do you have a death wish or something?"

Snarling softly, he looked as if he wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her.

"I could have _killed_ you had you moved one hair to the side. Did you even think about that?!"

Protesting, Nora straightened up, planting her feet firmly as she looked up. "I _know_ you, and your ability to make the shot count!"

"That doesn't mean I don't make mistakes!"

They were standing eye to eye now, her expression fierce as she refused to be intimidated, refused to back down. "You don't when it matters!"

"Why did you do it?!"

"_BECAUSE I TRUST YOU!"_

Her angry expression crumbled suddenly, without warning, and two warm tears fell down her cheeks. Turning away, she sat down in her desk chair, palms over her eyes.

His eyes closed as he too slowly turned away to look at the fish floating in her aquarium, "And what did I say about trusting me, Nora?"

It was a long time before either one of them spoke; and yet neither thought to leave the room, to leave the other alone. As she leaned back in her chair it was Nora who eventually shattered the silence, "If I avoid taking you, it puts the team at a disadvantage because I don't trust any one of them enough to be able to do my job properly. If I _do_ take you, then we're going to continue to have this issue."

"It's not so much an issue as it is that _you_ don't seem to understand the dangers you put yourself into."

The words were sharp, but lacked the bite of anger with which Garrus had previously spoken.

"You were with me when we killed Saren, and found out about the Reaper threat. Don't tell me that wasn't dangerous." Smiling self depreciatingly Nora looked down at her gloved hands and wiggled her fingers slightly, "I _did_ die after all."

"An event that seems to have made you less and less concerned with your own well being." His voice rough with an emotion she wasn't able to discern, Garrus turned towards her and continued to speak. "Why don't you explain to me why you changed uniforms today? I hadn't realized you liked long gloves."

If she had wanted to, she could have feigned ignorance. His comment about her uniform had nothing to do with their previous conversation. At least, not at first glance.

"Nora, come here."

Gentle, coaxing, there was a strange flicker of emotion in his eyes when she finally stood and allowed herself to be gently pulled closer.

"Garrus."

She wanted to pull away, to try and stop him from seeing. But if she had claimed to rely on him as much as she did, then he deserved a measure of honesty as well.

_No matter how much she wanted to hide it from him. _

"You said you trusted me." His voice was a soft rumble in her ear, familiar and yet strained.

_As if he already knew what he would find. _

She first felt his hands along the tops of her shoulders. Ghosting quickly to the sides of her arms, his fingers lingered as he sought the catch to release the gloves.

_She could feel the warmth of his hands through the fabric. _

Turning to look up at him, Nora didn't move, didn't speak, didn't _breathe_ as he gently pulled the glove slowly down, past the bend in her arm, the gentle slope of her wrist, until even her fingers were exposed. He held her wrist gently in the loose circle of his grip, drawing her thin arm upwards by increments so that he could get a better look. Marked by the hairline scars of her operation, the silvery lines looked dappled by the shadows of the room.

"EDI, turn lights to 50%"

His command was met with instant action, the darkness gradually receding; bringing with it, the realization that those _shadows_ on her arms were actually deep purple bruises.

_"Nora." _

She refused to meet his gaze, though this time Garrus knew it wasn't because she was angry at him. Trailing one talon delicately against the softness of her exposed skin, he closed his eyes as he accepted the truth that he had known was behind her sudden change in clothing.

"You asked for this uniform because it hid the bruises."

It wasn't a question.

Her reply was soft, "I can hardly present myself as a leader if I look as soft and _human_ as I do. And I didn't want…Doctor Chakwas said they should be fine by the time we get to Horizon."

"You didn't want me to feel guilty, didn't want the rest of the crew to accuse me of failing to do my job."

He voiced the observation with a touch of disbelief, his eyes turning to her diminutive form. Struggling to look unaffected, the almost imperceptible tremble of her lips was the only flaw in Nora's otherwise perfect mask.

"I heal faster now, because of all of the cybernetics. They'll be gone in half a day. Besides, it isn't your fault. As your commander I should have known better." She struggled to maintain eye contact, "It's like you said…two years is a long time."

"For me." His voice was almost inaudible despite the total silence, "It was little more than a moment's rest for you, wasn't it?"

She smiled sadly as his hand slowly released her, and he once more assumed a proper distance between them. "I barely felt the time at all…two years, gone in a flash."

_Everyone had gone…and everything had changed. Bewildered and alone, she had found herself behind enemy lines with no one to call on, no one to trust. Until now…despite the fact he had told her otherwise, it was only to him she would show the weaknesses of character she possessed. _

"My entire world was turned upside down. It made me wonder if I had any place in it anymore; if I was really still needed."

Slowly tugging the glove back on, Nora paused "I didn't expect you to stick around. I admit, I _wanted_ you to but…" She trailed off with a shrug, closing the top of her gloves over her arm.

"I don't regret coming with you, Nora. I promised once that I would be beside you if you ever needed someone to trust, to follow you to whatever edge of the galaxy you went. You will lead us correctly, _that_ was never in question."

"No?" Her expression was carefully controlled as she watched him walk towards her door, "Not even a little?"

He looked at her steadily before shaking his head, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, no one I would rather follow."

They were lovers no longer, but friends instead. Despite how much her heart hurt in her chest Nora couldn't help but smile.

_He had no regrets…she would do her best to do the same…_

"I'm glad you're here too."

* * * * * * *

Their arrival on Horizon was marked by silence, the unnatural void of sound making the hairs on the back of her neck prickle despite temperature controlled suit she was wearing.

"We're groundside." Radioing back to the Normandy, Nora asked to be patched through to Mordin, "You sure these armor upgrades will protect us from the Seeker swarms?"

She could see the dark clouds of the insects just a little ways off, the clouds undulating with the swarm's movements.

"Certainty impossible. But in limited numbers should confuse detection, make invisible to swarms. In theory."

Mordin may have been the resident scientific genius, but his lack of certainty made her nervous.

"All right, we'll just have to hope for the best then." Signaling to Jack and Garrus, Nora checked the radio frequencies once last time before moving out, "I'll take point. Stay sharp.""

They had only just made it to the outskirts of the small colony when Joker's voice crackled on the radio, his tone worried.

"Commander…we're getting all kinds…interference…Can't maintain the field."

His voice cut out entirely without finishing. After running a quick diagnostic, Garrus confirmed what she had already guessed.

"The Collectors are disrupting communications."

"We're on our own now." Nora nodded, "Alright then, you know what do to. Stay sharp."

They entered the colony's main grounds but found no one there, not a single colonist or other sign of life. Wary, the three entered several of the buildings, coming across a strange, alien weapon. Picking it up, Nora felt the strangeness of the gun for only a second before a gunshot shattered the window the apartment in which they were standing.

Taking cover, Nora slid to the edge of the destroyed porthole and managed to sneak a few looks at their enemy. Human-sized, insect-like beings were taking position on the catwalks around their position.

So these were the Collectors.

No way was she going to be able to get close enough to them from her current position. Nora swapped her shotgun for an assault rifle, sliding in a new clip with practiced ease.

"You two ready?"

The fighting had only just ended when Jack quite literally stumbled upon the body of a husk. Swearing creatively, the biotic had nearly incinerated the corpse with a warp before Nora stepped in, voice firm.

"Leave it Jack, I want to take a look."

"I recognize this." Garrus eyed the corpse intently, "Looks human, one of the colonist?"

Nora grimaced, "The colonists on Eden prime were turned into husks by being impaled on spikes. We haven't seen any."

"It's possible the Collectors brought them."

"Which means the Collectors are using the colonists for something else," Jack frowned, crossing her arms against the thought.

"And these husks…" Nora bent down to examine the synthetic circuits on its skin, "I'm no tech expert but these seem more advanced. Evolved."

Straightening, she pulled her weapon from her holster, "The Collectors aren't getting any more victims. Let's move out."

They continued to explore the abandoned levels of the apartment blocks, every once in a while running across a stray collection of Collector drones, most of which died readily enough when faced with the carefully balanced team. But while the aliens didn't seem to be in short supply, the majority of the colonists were still nowhere to be found.

Strange pods littered the area around the apartments, their contents invisible under the metallic shielding.

"You don't think they're transporting the poor suckers in these do you?" Jack thumped her fist against the stiff exterior shell as she spoke, trying a bit of biotic power when nothing happened.

"It certainly makes sense if there are so many lying around."

Garrus answered as Nora continued to quietly scout out the area, lingering on one terrace before joining them.

"Come with me, I think I found someone."

"Someone or something?"

Nora smiled, "Some_one_."

She led them down several flights of stairs and through another apartment before gesturing to a pair of figures. Half-hidden in the shadow of the buildings, two men stood unmoving, their expressions seemingly frozen in time.

"It seems we're getting closer, which is good. Still I'm curious, what is – "

"Seems to be a stasis field," Garrus took a quick scan of the figure with his Omni-tool, "It keeps them conscious but completely helpless.

"They've been like this a long time then. I've forgotten how long Mordin said it lasted. In any case, we'd better head out. If they haven't picked up all the colonists yet then there's still hope."

The three hadn't taken ten steps past the adjoining apartment when another small platoon of Collector drones arrived, flying in over the walls of the colony to land directly ahead of them.

The various planting troughs acted well as cover, and indeed they had expected this experience to be quite like all the others. Biotic power flowed from the two women as Garrus took up position in the back and quickly took out two drones.

Only three more left.

While Jack dealt with the pair holed up by the supply depot, Nora ran across the field to finish off the straggler. All it took was a well timed charge and shot to the head before it had crumbled to the ground.

A voice suddenly echoed loudly, in her mind, in the very space around her.

'_Assuming direct control.'_

"Oh shit!" Jack's startled yelp was swallowed by the loud crack of a sniper rifle, shots fired one after another. Garrus was watching over the younger biotic, but Nora had no idea as to what he was protecting her from.

Sprinting, she arrived just in time to see a Collector quite unlike the one she had left in Jack's hands. Body armor cracked and pushed apart, and the creature glowed with a brilliant orange luminescence.

Jack stood silhouetted against the light, her body warped by the field of biotic energy she was channeling into a barrier around her.

"Back up, Jack. I'm right behind you – get to cover."

"You're the boss, Shepard."

Timing was everything, and as Jack ducked behind cover another volley of sniper shots crackled through the air giving Nora just enough time to draw the power necessary for a full power biotic shockwave.

Jack finished the kill with a sharp biotic pull that send the altered drone crashing through concrete and reinforced steel. When it didn't move again, Nora found herself suddenly face to face with a very annoyed biotic.

"What the hell was that thing?!" Jack was scowling, "Damn thing should keep its voice to itself and out of my head."

Garrus appeared seconds later, his expression placid in sharp contrast to the fiery temper of the young woman. "Everything else looks clear; we shouldn't have any more problems."

Nora's mouth quirked into a wry smile, "Somehow I doubt that."

* * * * * * *

The locks on the reinforced metal door snapped smartly as she finished short-circuiting the locking mechanism on the door. Slow though the process had been; Nora felt that, at least on some level, she was getting better.

The dimly lit storage room was surprisingly small for a building meant to house all the supplies for this particular outpost. Walking cautiously to the glowing terminal at the far end of the room, Nora had just begun to examine the scrolling text when she was interrupted.

The clatter of a metallic tool against the floor had Nora pointing the muzzle of her gun towards the sound, her expression hard, "Get out here. Now!"

A scruffy looking colonist stumbled into the light, pale with fright but otherwise unharmed.

"You're…you're human!" his voice was hoarse, "What are you doing out here? You'll lead them right here!"

For someone with a gun pointed at him he was certainly missing the point.

"You had to have to heard them trying get in." Nora pointed out as she once more put her gun away, "Besides, it seems like it would be hard to hide from the Collectors."

"Those things are Collectors? You mean… they're _real_? I thought they were just made up. You know – propaganda. To keep us in Alliance space." The man looked distraught, "They got damn near everybody."

"What's your name?" Nora asked gently, "What do you do here?"

"Name's Delan. Mechanic. Came down here to check out the main grid after we lost our comm. signals. Then I heard screaming."

Walking away in a daze, he spoke as if lost in a memory.

"I looked outside and there were…swarms of bugs. Everyone they touched just froze, I-I sealed the doors. Dammit – it's the Alliances' fault! They stationed that Lieutenant Alenko here and built those defense towers. It made us a target!"

The sudden jolt to her system prompted Nora to follow the mechanic as he walked away. "Tell me more about this Alliance rep."

"Alenko?" Delan scoffed, "Heard he was some kind of hero or something. Didn't mean nothing to me though. Would've rather he stay back in Council space."

"Any idea what he was doing on Horizon?"

"Supposed to be helping us get the defense towers up and running. I got the feeling he was here for something else. Spying on us maybe."

The man was clearly paranoid; Nora had never known Kaidan to _spy_ on anyone. Still, the towers he had mentioned sounded like a promising lead.

"Why don't you tell me more about those defense towers?"

As it turned out, those GARDIAN lasers came with their own problems. Located at the other side of the colony, the fight through the various courtyards proved to require a dogged determination and patience.

However, luck was on their side, for no sooner had they arrived at the terminal than their radio signal to the Normandy crackled to life once more. Nora wasted no time in hailing EDI, and filling her on their situation.

"Can you do something to calibrate the guns, look at the firing algorithms and check the program itself for errors?"

"I am certainly designed for such a task," EDI agreed, "But you will have to give me access to the file and getting full control of the guns may take some time. I will have to be undisturbed."

Nora nodded though the VI was not in a position to see her, "I can take care of that, you just get those guns online."

EDI had only just logged into Horizon's GARDIAN systems when the three were attacked for what would be the final time. And though dealing with the Collector drones had been easy enough, the arrival of a large, tank-like being proved near-disastrous.

Easily taller than either human or turian, the creature floated rather than walked on its many stilted legs. The blue-black body seemed almost insect-like in composition, but in its central body conduit was a collection of what appeared to be the heads of nearly 30 husks. As was quickly becoming apparent, this _thing_ was even stronger than the strange drone they had fought earlier.

"What the hell is that thing?!" Jack shouted over the terrible noise of shredding metal and gunfire, "The damn thing won't go down no matter how much I throw at it."

A trio of sniper shots hit their mark but did little to stop the approach of the still-unidentified adversary.

"Garrus fall back; Jack, cover him until he's in place."

Her voice steady despite the tension in the air, Nora pushed away from cover and leveled two heavy shots at the side of its body before sliding behind another set of crates.

"EDI, do we have any information on this creature?"

There was a momentary pause as the Normandy VI set aside a small portion of its processing power to do the appropriate search.

"My results are largely inconclusive, but sources suggest this life form to be a praetorian."

"A what?" Half distracted by the approaching enemy, Nora caught sight of a Collector drone and charged, taking care of one enemy while successfully avoiding another. "Can you repeat that?"

"It is called a praetorian. Energy reading suggests it made from several husk forms, the basis of which forms a defense barrier. The barrier itself should pose quite the challenge."

"We've figured that out already," Nora said impatiently as she readied a biotic shockwave. Timing it to hit a split second before Jack attempted a biotic pull, their impeccable timing still failed to bring the creature to its knees. "I was hoping you might have some idea on how to deal with it."

"My suggestion would be to use the heavy weapon you recently acquired."

Touching the Collector weapon she had strapped to her back, Nora grimaced, "I was hoping you wouldn't say that. The thing _feels_ wrong."

Still, Nora holstered her shotgun and pulled the much larger weapon from her back. Unusually light in her hands, the sensation of cold metal seemed to penetrate her armor to sink into her bones.

Wincing, Nora raised the weapon to eyelevel and pointed it at the quickly advancing praetorian.

"Here goes nothing."

* * * * * * *

They were too late…again.

Off in the distance she could hear the roar of the massive engine, the sound of the large ship rocketing away from the colony. The GARDIAN weapons were all firing, but the Collectors has been successful in their mission, most of the colonists were gone.

_Mission Failed._

Worn out from the fighting, but still tense with adrenaline, Nora had snapped to attention and pulled her heavy pistol from her holster before she realized who she was aiming at.

"Delan."

"Why didn't you do something to stop them?!"

Angry and distraught, the mechanic spared her only the briefest of glances before howling up at the sky.

Nora gazed after the Collector ship and couldn't stop the bitterness that colored her voice, "I didn't want it to end this way, I did what I could."

"More than most, Shepard." Garrus comforted distantly, his eyes still on the ship that was quickly disappearing into the clouds.

"Shepard?" The mechanic had temporarily stopped his raving to stare at her, "I know that name. Sure, I remember you. Some type of big Alliance hero."

"Commander Shepard."

The voice that called her name so familiar it took her breath away.

"Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel."

She knew, even without looking, who stood behind her, knew she would recognize the dark hair and equally dark eyes. But even she wondered what expression she would find on such a familiar face.

She turned around.

"You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost." Kaidan looked at her but could barely meet her eyes. Two years had aged him in much the same way it seemed to have changed Garrus.

"All the good people we lost and you get left behind. Figures." The mechanic shook his head in disgust, "Screw this, I'm done with you Alliance types."

Nora quickly found herself in a wrapped in a hug, his embrace everything that his expression hadn't been, warm, comforting, the sort of gesture she hadn't realized she missed. The gesture lingered for a moment longer before they both pulled away.

"I thought you were dead Shepard. We all did."

Unable to face the suspicion in his eyes, Nora glanced over his shoulder for a moment, willing herself to find some scrap of control. "It's been too long Kaiden. How've you been?"

"Is that all you have to say?" His voice was incredulous, "You show up after two years and just act like nothing happened? You were like a sister to me, my _family_. Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that?"

Anger saturated his words, making them bite.

"Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

"Not my choice." Nora struggled to keep the resentment out of her voice, unable to help the pain that bled through, "I spent the last two years in some kind of coma while Cerberus rebuilt me."

Kaidan stepped back suddenly, his expression wary, almost suspicious as he looked at her anew.

"You're with Cerberus now?" Looking past her for a moment he eyes his former squad mate's, "Garrus too? I can't believe the reports were right. "

"Reports?" Garrus sounded surprised, "You mean you already knew?"

"Alliance Intel thought Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. They got a tip that this colony might be the next one to get hit." Giving her a calculating look, Kaidan took a step back. "Anderson stonewalled me, but there were rumors you weren't dead. That you were working for the enemy."

"Cerberus and I want the same thing, to save our colonies. That doesn't mean I answer to them."

Nora was getting tired of constantly explaining herself to people; especially those she thought would have understood her best of all. Kaidan had been with her when she had infiltrated Cerberus bases, had seen firsthand her loyalty to the Alliance.

"Do you really believe that? Or is that just what Cerberus wants you to think?

Striding forward, he was scarcely a foot away when he stopped, "I wanted to believe the rumors that you were alive, but I _never_ expected anything like this. You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me."

"Kaidan, you _know_ me." Getting angry was not going to help her, but she didn't care anymore. For him to think so little of her was as unjust as it was infuriating. "You know I'd only do this for the right reason. You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting the human colonies. And they're working with the Reapers!"

"I want to believe you Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if _they _are working with the Collectors?"

"Damn it, Kaidan!" It was Garrus, rather than Nora who swore at their old squad mate, "You're so focused on Cerberus that you're ignoring the real threat!"

Struggling to control the growing sense of betrayal she felt as she looked at him, Nora tried to appeal to Kaidan's sense of greater good. "You're letting how you feel about their history get in the way of the facts. I know it's hard, but both Garrus and I are doing this to save the colonists."

"Maybe. Or maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you."

Nora felt her hands curl into fists and clench. It was clear that nothing she was saying was getting to him.

"Maybe _you're_ the one who's not thinking straight." Kaidan's voice was sharp with accusation, "You've changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier, _always_ will be. I've got to report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not."

"You _know_ how that's going to end up. The Council will blame Cerberus and _nothing _will change. I won't abandon my mission just because you think I should. I can't, you _know_ the price of failure."

"A leopard can't change its spots." Watching him turn away for the final time Nora caught the flash of grief in his eyes, but she was too far gone to appreciate it.

"Goodbye, Shepard. And be careful."

Her former lieutenant had only just disappeared from view when Nora radioed the Normandy, her voice suddenly subdued, almost monotone. "Joker – send a shuttle to pick us up." She refused to look at either Garrus of Jack as she made the call, "I've had enough of this colony."

* * * * * * *

"So, where are we off to now? Ready for another daring mission, fighting the Collectors and saving the universe once again?"

Nora looked up from the new set of mission readouts and quirked a smile, "I was under the impression that you were tired of all this flying around…something about your seat actually becoming _uncomfortable_. I admit to being surprised, I didn't think pilots got saddle sores."

"Yeah well…you know what they say about all work and no play…"

"True. So what do you think about taking shore leave on Illium."

"The asari colony?"

"The same." She had EDI bring up a small version of the map, "We have a couple assignments there; I haven't really checked the details yet, but it's closer than the Citadel."

"Ah dang it…no familiar clubs…"

"What, missing the asari dancers?" Nora gave him a knowing look, "You don't visit anyone in particular on the Citadel, so it's not that you miss talking to Anderson."

"Ah…well…" Joker tugged his hat a little further down, "Maybe there's this _one_ girl …"

"Huh," Nora tilted her head as she looked at him, "I had actually never pegged you as a one girl sort of guy Joker."

"I'm not! Sheesh Commander, don't' go all _feminine _on me." Face brightly flushed Joker scrubbed at his cheeks futilely, "It's just that with my medical condition I need to be a little…careful."

"You don't think the asari on Illium will be gentle?"

"It's not exactly a risk I should be taking right now…"

Despite herself Nora couldn't resist poking a bit of fun at Joker, and there was really only _one_ way to get to him fast.

"Then maybe EDI can find a way to accommodate your delicate condition? You _do_ have holos don't you EDI?"

"Of course Commander…and I am _more_ than capable of playing them."

EDI's voice was properly lascivious, almost crooning as she teased.

Nora laughed aloud at EDI's quickly developing sense of humor, finding the greatest pleasure in the sputtering sounds of her pilot in the background.

"No…just…no. Ah! Bad mental image…and the voice…now I can't even look at her without…"

"Just get us to Illium in one piece Joker; I'll talk to EDI about actually letting you off the ship so you can check the asari out for yourself." She teased as she sat down next to the blue sphere image of the VI, "Besides…you know what they say about what happens on Illium…"

Her pilot merely snorted, "What happens on Illium…_never _stays on Illium."

* * * * * * *

"Could I get another drink here please?"

Nora perched on a barstool sipping some sort of tasty concoction whose name she had already forgotten. Bright green, the drink had made her pause the first time the bartender had handed it to her; daring but not quite trusting enough to simply knock it back, Nora had taken several tentative sips before beginning to drink more easily.

_It had been a while since she's last had a drink..._

Humming softly as she traded her empty glass for a full one, Nora savored the taste before taking her drink and moving to the small table next to the large floor-to-ceiling windows that framed one side of the Eternity lounge.

Garrus had mentioned offhand how dangerous Illium was, how deceptively deadly it was beneath the façade of technology and clean lines. Everything was dressed impeccably, but beneath the glittering surface the game of high risk vs. reward continued unopposed.

Frowning slightly as she glanced down to the small data-pad on the table Nora sighed nostalgically. She had suggested this shore leave as a means for relaxation, but she hadn't been able to leave the Normandy without taking a few extra files to study.

_Just like old times_, she thought with irony, _reading mission briefs even on scheduled vacation._

Except that it wasn't like 'old times' at all. Her meeting with the Illusive Man following the mission on Horizon had impressed on her just how different he was from Captain Anderson. The head of Cerberus had used those closest to her, and Kaidan had no idea he had been the bait in the larger scheme of things.

Pushing back her wayward tresses, Nora struggled to focus on other things, _nicer_ thoughts. Smoothing the fabric of the dress she had borrowed from Yeoman Kelly seemed to do the trick. It was a nice gesture, that her personal secretary offered the contents of her infinitely more feminine wardrobe for her commander's use. Nora had found a suitable dress for the evening after only a little searching; a more conservative piece when compared to all the other _interesting_ gowns Kelly had shown her. Still, it felt strange to go out without her hardsuit, the lack of heavy weave plate armor a loss she felt quite acutely.

At the same time, it was a nice change to simply walk into a civilian area and not be stared at; observed like some specimen under a microscope. Armor had the tendency of drawing attention when attention was least desired. She was a private person, and this sudden shift back to relative anonymity was a welcome one.

_No one looked at her and saw Commander Shepard 'Savior of the Citadel'…_

Kaidan's words hadn't been meant maliciously, but the memory of their exchange made her frown.

_Two years had been a long time to him… long enough to make him believe her a traitor…_

Closing her eyes against the thought, Nora took another sip of her drink, slowly willing her chest to release the pain that came with the rejection. Kaidan had been as close to family as she had ever found; he like a brother to her, and his cold greeting on Horizon had cut like a knife and opened old wounds, old fears.

_Two years was a long time…_

Her eyes wandered downwards once more to the mission brief, scanning but not truly comprehending the information it displayed.

"Pardon me for bothering you, but do you mind if I take this seat?"

Looking up from her reading, Nora was surprised to find herself faced with a particular alien species she had never before met. Not much taller than her own modest height, his lithe form was compact and well muscled, the black suit he wore seemed almost paltry decoration for an already beautiful form.

"No, not at all," she gestured to the empty seat across from her. Beautiful he may be, but as with everything on Illium, there was something _more_. Sliding smoothly into the proffered spot, she recognized immediately what that additional trait might be.

_He moved too smoothly, too silently…a killer. _

Nora didn't know if the idea made her uncomfortable or increasingly intrigued. She certainly had no reason to fear him, just because he was a killer didn't imply that he was a murderer.

She was her own example of _that_ dual definition.

Still, that didn't mean she shouldn't be careful. Shifting slightly, as if to cross her legs, Nora double checked the weapons strapped to the outside of her thigh.

_One could never be too careful._

"If you don't mind my asking, what species are you?"

Nora tilted her head to the side and smiled, watching the light glance off the texture of his skin, almost like that of a snake or reptile, green in the dim light of the table lamp.

"I am drell; we are admittedly a very rare species to come across."

"That would explain a lot then," Nora smiled despite her inner turmoil, "But what does that make _you, I _wonder?"

"I cannot say…" the man touched the stem of her glass as his dark eyes focused more fully on her own, "A traveler of sorts?"

"You make it sound as if you don't know for sure if you like that idea."

"No…I suppose not."

The smile on his face was a shade nostalgic, pained, and yet there was something unerringly strong about the way he carried himself, the tone with which he answered. His voice was rough, raspy though it had the same flanging quality that reminded her so very much of Garrus. A touch of familiarity despite everything else that was so foreign. Maybe that was why she introduced herself, giving her first name with a friendly smile.

"I'm Nora."

Returning the gesture, the drell gently clasped the proffered hand in his own warm one, his voice wrapping itself around her like a dark seduction.

"You may call me Thane."

She savored his name as she repeated it aloud, "Nice to meet you."


	5. Chapter 5: Relations

AN: Hello all of my lovelies!!! Thank you SO SO much for the wonderful reviews on this past chapter and your understanding about the time it has taken to write this chapter. Life is looking like there will be more time for writing now with finals over, so hopefully the next chapter will be up faster than this one was. Again, I just wanted to give a shout out to my wonderful editor Zepheera as well as those of you who have continued to provide me with feedback and the constructive comments that are invaluable. To all who read this fic - this one's for you!

3 Voi

P.S. As per usual I do not own any rights to anything you recognize.

* * *

He hadn't been able to find her all day.

Having declared their first three days on Illium a shore leave, Nora, _Commander Shepard_ he corrected mentally, had all but disappeared. The crew had all quickly left to find their own distractions, and no one else had been able to figure out where she had gone to. He didn't doubt that the VI knew her exact location, but as EDI kept reminding him, the information was "strictly classified."

It shouldn't have worried him as much as it did. Shepard had always been an independent woman, strong, and more than capable of taking care of herself. At the same time, he knew the power that words could have in breaking a person, how betrayal could cut deep and leave nothing left.

He just wanted to make sure that Kaidan's words hadn't had more dire consequences.

"Well, well… if it isn't the Commander's favorite pet."

Jack sat at the top of the stairs, her eyes piercing as they looked at him. The two of them had come to an understanding quickly in the time since she had come aboard the Normandy. Neither one was particularly fond of the other, but managed well enough to be civil. At least Jack didn't threaten him or cuss quite as much as when she ran into Miranda or Jacob. That didn't mean she was entirely nice though.

"So is the lost puppy looking for its master?"

Garrus had no idea what a 'puppy' was, but he didn't like the tone she had used. Besides, he didn't have time to chat, he had the nagging feeling that Nora was getting herself into trouble.

"Do you know where the commander is?"

"If she's got any sense then she's found someone to help her relieve some stress," Jack stared up at the ceiling of her room, "Nothing like getting screwed to get all that tension out of the system."

Garrus shifted uncomfortably at the comment, his blue eyes flicking uneasily at the biotic who was tossing her pistol from hand to hand like it was some sort of toy.

Jack's eyes met his directly, "What?"

"The commander is not that sort of person. Shepard doesn't 'screw' people just to work off stress."

Pausing for a moment, the young biotic looked at him incredulously before laughing in disbelief. "Fuck, Vakarian, she's not a saint. She has needs like every other female. The fact that she's relatively attractive isn't lost to the rest of the male species despite the fact that _you_ consider her genderless."

"I don't-"

"She's been getting looks ever since we've arrived - not just from the human men either." Jack gave him a sideways glance "She's the sort that just _begs_ for that sort of attention."

The sudden, icy grip of some unknown emotion seemed to seize Garrus entirely.

"Where is she?"

"Why? Want to protect her from all the big, bad males out there?" She rolled her eyes, "Didn't know you were like that Vakarian."

"I'm _not_._" _Feeling irrationally angry, Garrus curled his hands into fists, struggling not to give Jack anything else to comment on. "Now tell me where you saw the commander."

Her grin widened, teeth flashing in an entirely unpleasant expression, "What makes you think I know where she is?"

"Damn it, Jack, tell me!"

The snarl in his voice actually got a response of the biotic, causing the grin on her face to widen as she took in his clenched hands and narrowed eyes.

"Beneath that quiet exterior, you're actually quite violent aren't you?"

Jack sounded suddenly pleased, as if he had passed some sort of test, gained some sort of respect he hadn't actually been trying to win.

"Go check Eternity, she was there last time I saw her – and you should know, she wasn't alone."

Garrus immediately turned to go, his long strides carrying him across the floor and past the staircase quickly. He had reached the door before he heard Jack's cold laughter echoing from the bulk head. Closing his eyes, he sighed; it was too late to do anything about that now, he had to find Shepard.

* * * * * * *

His eyes found her the moment he entered Eternity, but it took several long seconds for him to recognize just who it was he was looking at.

He couldn't remember the last time she had looked like that.

Heart thundering in his ears, Garrus felt his eyes widen but couldn't bring himself to look away, as he moved, half-blind to some remote corner of the club to watch them from the dark.

Her face was flushed with pleasure, her hands clasping shoulders as her partner swept her around the dance floor, her eyes bright as she followed his lead. Body pressed close together as they spun around the room, they had eyes for no one but each other.

She looked so entirely without reserve, expressive, innocent…

_But the dress…_

Garrus focused on the way her body fit the clothing and nearly growled aloud. Nora had chosen the dress because it had covered her completely and was anything but skin tight. However, the lights and shadows played across the fabric in ways that turned her otherwise modest image into one entirely too sensual, a fact which every other man in the club seemed to be appreciating.

_The damn thing looks nearly transparent in the darkness. _

Jack's voice taunted him as Garrus momentarily turned to look at Nora's audience. Human and asari most of them…but there, at the table with an asari dancer, was a turian whose focus was most certainly _not_ on the figure undulating in front of his face.

A well placed 'warning' shot might have done what he wanted, but Garrus could hardly afford to create a scene. Instead, he was forced to remain where he was, taking in the pair of dancing figures that seemed a world unto themselves.

Swaying as they were with the music, slow and sensuous as hands slid over shoulders and along hips, Garrus felt something distinctly wretched rise in his chest when he saw the smile on her face.

There was no reservation in her eyes, no myriad of confusion in her eyes as she glanced into her partners' eyes and spoke warmly.

The wave of jealousy and pain shouldn't have affected him the way it did. '_This is for the best_,' he told himself, he _knew_ it was.

She had remained exactly as she had been two years ago. He had changed, had seen a great deal of himself die back on Omega, had felt the bitterness of betrayal and still desperately wished to see the deed carried out.

Watching her now made him desperate to go back to that time, _somehow_ find a way to remain as he had once been.

_If only…_

Garrus stopped suddenly, realizing how foolish he sounded, how entirely naïve. Years after leaving home, his father's words continued to echo in his mind and ring true, chastising him for being so idealistic despite his age.

Sighing heavily, Garrus turned to the bartender and ordered something, anything, to dull the painful tightness in his chest. He downed the first glass without bothering to actually taste it, needing the burning sensation of the alcohol without caring about anything else.

He ordered another immediately.

"Garrus?"

He stiffened at the voice; already knowing who it was that was standing behind him. Turning around slowly, he didn't bother releasing the drink in his hand. Face still flushed, Nora's smile shone for a moment before disappearing in a worried frown, "Is everything ok?"

"Yes, just getting a drink before I head off."

He did his best to sound unaffected by the presence of the _other_ who stood just behind his commander. Shorter than his own impressive height, Garrus didn't miss the subtle way the other man lingered on the edge of their conversation, his eyes unerringly focused on the pretty female between them.

"Are you sure?" Her eyes searched his for some sort of clue, finding only carefully guarded emotions. "Garrus, tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing you need to be worried about, Shepard." He kept his voice light though his throat nearly refused to cooperate, closing with bitter emotion. "You enjoy your evening with…"

"Thane." The other man was suddenly only a foot away, his hand offered in greeting, "A pleasure to meet you." The handshake that passed between them was carefully controlled, revealing nothing to either participant. Drell, Garrus had heard of them before, had even seen one or two on the Citadel during his time with C-Sec. Still, that one would have shown up on Illium of all places and found his commander a suitable partner for the evening was unusual, even by the rules of interspecies relations.

Then again, Garrus was getting a little ahead of himself.

"Well, I'd better get going, Shepard." Nodding cordially to the man beside her, he excused himself as quickly and as politely as he could, making it only as far as the descending staircase when a voice called him back.

"Garrus!"

She had followed him outside wearing nothing to guard against the evening chill.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked gently, "You seem distracted."

Garrus merely shook his head. "I'm fine. Besides, you should be getting back inside. It's cold out here."

"Are you sure?"

"That it's cold? Yes. As for the other– there's nothing wrong." Maybe if he said it aloud enough times he would find a way to believe it himself. "Go enjoy your evening; I'll see you back aboard the Normandy."

She lingered just a moment longer, taking several steps from the door until her eyes drew level with his own.

"I might have been dead for two years, but I wasn't born yesterday. Don't think you've fooled me for one second Garrus Vakarian." Despite her words, her voice was soft, almost sad, "When I ask you the same question in a couple hours I'll expect a satisfactory response, is that clear?"

He nodded, "Yes, Shepard."

She smiled faintly before reached up to gently trace the blue marking on the side of his face.

"We agreed to be friends. Before we ever became anything else, we were friends. Don't think I'll let you leave me in the dark again."

And then she was gone, silver dress fluttering as she stepped through the open doorway where Thane was waiting.

Garrus didn't even bother returning to the Normandy that night, instead deciding to pay for a small room in an Illium hotel. He couldn't stand to be there when she returned to the ship flush with the joy of new romance. Or worse, if she didn't return at all that evening.

Leaning over the nondescript sink in the bathroom Garrus sighed heavily as he tried to mute his wayward thoughts. Nothing worked, and when at last he succumbed to exhaustion he dreamt only of her.

* * * * * * *

"Has anyone seen Garrus?"

Moving swiftly, despite the heavy plating she wore, Nora Shepard strode along the middle decks looking for her best friend; a friend who, according to EDI, had not arrived back on the Normandy following his departure nearly 'sixteen point five' hours ago_. He had promised to talk with her when she returned, was that why he was missing now? _

"Has anyone-"

"Oh great. Now it's your turn, is it?"

Stopping short, Nora ducked under a low lying bit of ship tubing to find Jack lying comfortably on her back.

"You have something to report?"

Nora hadn't anticipated dealing with Jack and had quite honestly expected the young woman to jump ship the moment they landed on Illium. Perhaps those files were important to her after all.

"Oh, maybe." The younger biotic shrugged, "Maybe not."

"I don't have time to play games with you, Jack. Unless you want me to invite Miranda along for this next mission then tell me what's on your mind."

"Threats will only get you so far – remember?" Jack mocked turning on her side to look at the other woman, "Isn't that what you told me last time."

"If you don't remember then maybe I should remind you that you still don't have those files back from EDI."

"Don't try and blackmail me, you bitch!"

The sudden of explosion of anger was paired with a flare of biotic energy, the purple-blue power throwing the commander back against the wall with enough force to dent the bulkhead. The force of the attack nearly caused her to lose consciousness. Nora sagged forward, only her hands braced on her bent knees keeping her upright. Groaning softly, one hand slowly made its way to touch the back of her head only to still an instant later at the familiar hum of a gun at the ready.

"Do that again and I swear I'll kill you, no matter what the Commander says on the matter."

She _knew_ that voice despite the otherwise foreign menace it held. Forcing her head up, Nora winced as the world swam amidst black spots before slowly returning to normal.

"You ok, Shepard?"

Careful hands pulled her upright, carrying the weight her knees refused to hold without trembling violently.

"I'll be fine in a minute, Garrus."

He nodded but his gaze hadn't left Jack, her smaller form tense with anger as she eyed the weapon in his hand. "I called Chakwas; she should be here to get you in a second."

"But I said I was…"

She faltered suddenly as her knees folded beneath her, sagging against him.

"Nora!"

His attention was temporarily diverted as he holstered his weapon and braced her slumped form against his own, arms closing around her protectively to cradle her close.

"Oh goodness!" Dr Chakwas was at his side a moment later with an attendant and wheelchair with which to transport the unconscious, but thankfully responsive commander of the Normandy.

Had it been under any other circumstance Garrus would have gladly accompanied both doctor and assistance to the ward, but there was still one issue, one person, he had to deal with.

Garrus paused as he watched Nora quietly wheeled into the elevator before turning to where Jack still stood. Quietly seething, the turian observed her in silence for a long moment before turning towards the training room.

"Come with me."

She sneered at him, baring her teeth. "Fuck. you."

"It wasn't a suggestion Jack – _move it!_"

* * * * * * *

Nora walked quietly through the streets of Illium several hours after the incident with Jack, her mind full of too many problems and not enough solutions. Sighing, she tugged the light coat a little tighter around her shoulders and made for the small lounge she had visited the night before with Thane. She wasn't a heavy drinker, but the food there hadn't been bad either and she could use something familiar.

"Nora?" Turning towards the voice, the woman smiled slowly, her expression almost wistful, "What are you doing here?"

"If this is your base of operations I can always leave and find somewhere else to haunt," Nora teased lightly as she took the seat he offered. They had parted only a few hours earlier, but the speed with which Nora found herself suddenly at ease made her realize it was more the man than the lounge she had craved.

"You have been unwell?"

A hand came to brush the small bandage that had been all but hidden by her hair, warm despite his otherwise amphibious appearance. "It was not there the last time I saw you."

"I had an accident with a friend of mine." Nora flinched slightly, "It was my fault. I stepped out of line, and this time there were consequences."

The drell merely examined the swelling for a moment longer, "I find it hard to understand how you can call this person 'friend' if they hurt you like this."

"We have a complicated relationship, but I think we're friends, of a sort." She shrugged, "Maybe it's just me, but I feel like the reason we get into these constant battles of temper is that we recognize a similarity in the other that we can appreciate just as we fear it."

"The desire to be an individual is a strong one then?"

Nora smiled again, "Human beings are somewhat notorious for such individualistic nature I think. The idea that there is someone out there just like us is just as thrilling as it is frightening."

"But this person, she is still a friend despite this?"

The woman turned to face him, "I like to think so."

Thane seemed to accept this answer for what it was, remaining where he was, close to her.

"So what have you been doing while I've been away? Getting into trouble?"

Fathomless black eyes looked down at her for a moment, unblinking before a slight smile tugged at his lips. "You could say that."

"Nothing too serious I hope?"

Another smile, this time accompanied by a little shake of his head, "Nothing out of the ordinary."

Nora couldn't stop the light hearted laugh at his words, patting his arm in exasperated amusement.

"You really have to let me come with you some time."

* * * * * * *

He had just arrived back on the main deck when Joker called him over. Several hours had passed since he had forcibly pushed Jack into a rigorous training regimen that had left both of them exhausted. Jack was deceptively strong even without her biotic powers to back her up. He had only come up here to drop off his equipment before going to see Nora, hoping she would at least be conscious by now.

"Hey Garrus. Next time you see the commander would you mind telling her that the next time she decides to bring an _assassin_ aboard that she chooses one that doesn't scare the crap out of me?"

"An assassin?" Garrus hadn't realized that Nora had been in any condition to leave the medical ward, never mind go on a mission to retrieve an assassin.

"Yeah, some quiet guy with _way_ too much fashion sense to be killing people. Who ever heard of killing business tycoons in a black leather suit?"

A memory stirred in the back of the turian's mind.

"Black leather suit?"

"Yeah. Let's just hope the commander doesn't start dressing like that, could you imagine all the looks she'd get. No way would I want to be on the receiving end when she catches _those_ poor bastards."

Garrus wasn't quite sure what leather really had to do with their conversation, but the sense that he had seen it somewhere recently was beginning to really bother him.

"This assassin, did you get his name?"

"Yeah, it's Thane K-something…Kry…Krio…" The pilot shrugged unapologetically, "I stopped listening after the first name."

_Thane was the assassin?_

Garrus didn't know whether to wonder at his commander for her luck or applaud her ability to enjoy a drink while also talking an assassin into joining their cause. Then again, maybe the fact that Thane was one of their targets had been a happy coincidence.

He wanted to check on the situation himself.

The turian soldier exited the elevator and found Jack waiting for him, her expression unchanging as she saw him approach.

"Met the assassin yet?"

Her voice was mellow, her posture relaxed as she nodded her head in the direction of Life Support. Apparently the workout had more lasting benefits than originally imagined.

"Not yet. Joker just told me."

"He's the one at the lounge the other night?"

"Yeah."

She snorted, "Figured. Shepard never seemed the one night stand sort of woman. Leave it to her to bring him along on a suicide mission of all things. How romantic. "

Time seemed to suddenly grind to halt, slowing down until he was sure he had fallen through some sort of time-space singularity. Breathing suddenly seemed impossible, and the longer he lingered the more he struggled.

_Drowning_.

_He was drowning in something he couldn't describe, couldn't see._

"Hey Vakarian, you still here?" Jack's voice pierced the claustrophobic dark, freeing him suddenly, letting air rush into starved lungs.

"I…." Garrus spoke haltingly, trying to understand what had just happened.

"Daydreaming about the commander?" Hard dark eyes looked into his own and saw too much. She shook her head after a minute. "Shit. You're like a goddamn open book aren't you?"

"I…"

Garrus knew that rumors about biotics often said they were telepathic. Experience had taught him that they most certainly were not. Still, there was something about the way this young female looked at him that gave him the sense that she knew, even better than he did, what was going through his mind. A flicker of memory, another face momentarily replaced that of the small woman before him, purple-blue covering fathomless black.

_Nora_.

Garrus reacted with a start, the image fading immediately, leaving only Jack as he half-stumbled backwards. Crashing into the wall, the dull shock of the blow brought him more immediately to his senses, reminding him of his surroundings.

"What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Nothing." Garrus passed a hand over his eyes, forcing himself to focus, to collect himself.

_Why had he seen Nora mirrored so perfectly in Jack's place? _

Thinking about it slowly he moved the thought in his mind, trying desperately to understand. Both women were of small stature that was true. But where Nora saw diplomacy Jack was more likely to hurl violence and chaos. Then again, knowing what he did about Nora's childhood perhaps the similarity was not in who they were now, but where they had been. Garrus didn't need to do more than look at Jack to know some of those tattoos had been the product of a less than wholesome childhood.

He turned to look at the scars on her collar, the faded blue patches of ink around her neck.

"Hey. You back yet?"

Jack's voice was hardly the hallmark of concern, but by _her_ standards the question was unusually neutral.

"Yeah, I'm alright."

"Shit if I know what the hell just happened." Jack leaned against the opposing wall, her eyes studying him closely.

"Just a…memory." Garrus couldn't bear to look her straight in the eye, too confused. "I'd rather not talk about it."

The doors of Life Support slid open then, revealing first the newest crew member and then the commander herself. Speaking in hushed tones, the two walked slowly towards the mess hall their steps in synch with each other.

Even now they seemed suited to one another, as if the halls of the Normandy were just another dance floor and their evening together continued.

Forgetting what Joker had told him, Garrus balked. Moving away from them both, Garrus had made it almost to the other side of the hall before turning to look back at the two framed in the doorway. There was pain in seeing them together, though the joy at seeing her so at ease was equal to that ache in his chest. Torn, it was the glittering look in Jack's eye, drawing emotions from him too complex to yet fully understand that finally forced him to go.

_What was going on?_

Only time would tell.

"Hey Shepard, have a minute?"

She knew that voice, had heard it only a few hours earlier as she had slammed against a wall on the lower deck and passed out. Pausing in her conversation with Thane, Nora looked up, pushing her unkempt hair out of her eyes. The bandage on her forehead drew the dark gaze before she could do anything to hide it from view. Nora doubted Jack would actually feel bad about an attack that even _she_ felt was justified, but there was something uncomfortable about revealing a weakness to the other woman.

_Weaknesses could get you killed_.

"What can I do for you, Jack?"

Thane had considerately left the two women alone, disappearing into the mess hall without another word. Nora had turned to watch him go, but Jack remained unmoved, her dark eyes carefully considering the woman standing in front of her.

"So we have an assassin now."

"Yes," Nodding, Nora turned to look back at the other biotic, "Thane is a valuable addition to the team. He has more experience than most, and he is very_, very_ good at his job."

"So you've seen him in action then?"

Shepard hesitated for a moment, "Last night, on the way back to the Normandy."

"Back to the Normandy?" Jack frowned a little, "You brought him back to your room?"

"No. He was just dropping me off." Nora suddenly flushed, startling Jack with its frank naivety, "I drank a little too much last night. Thane was doing me a favor."

"Huh. Interesting. So nothing dirty?"

The increased blush was answer enough.

"Shit. You're really just like he said, aren't you?"

Jack couldn't keep the surprised disbelief from her voice, incredulous as she watched her commander change from hard edged female warrior to inexperienced, dare she say naïve, woman."You have got to be joking."

The younger biotic pointed a delicately tapered finger at her commander, "You _do_ know that this mission we've signed up for is suicidal right?"

"I assumed so," Nora smiled under her still present blush, her expression light hearted despite the somber nature of her words.

"Well then why aren't you enjoying what you have now?"

"You're asking about my love life?" Now it was Nora's turn to look amused, "I didn't know you were such a romantic, Jack. Have you talked to the yeoman about a shopping trip?"

"Oh don't be a smart ass." Jack sounded annoyed, "You know what I'm talking about and it has _nothing_ to do with love and everything to do with releasing stress, easing tension."

"I don't do casual sex, Jack."

"Why the hell not?" The other woman sounded incredulous, "You don't get any added bonus for depriving yourself, Shepard."

The smile on Nora's face turned uncomfortable, "Bad experiences don't exactly lend themselves to your cause, unfortunately."

Before Jack could quite respond, the Normandy VI interrupted their conversation. Nora immediately looked towards the glowing blue orb, unable to treat the voice as anything other than a real person.

"Commander?"

"Yes EDI?"

"The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you."

"It's urgent?"

"It regards our newest crew member."

"Thane?" Nora frowned a little, "Alright, I'll be right there."

Watching EDI blink out, Nora turned back to the young biotic and apologized. "We can finish this conversation later if you'd like." Nora offered, not moving until she and Jack had come to an agreement. "Yeah sure." Jack looked less than thrilled but didn't reject the offer outright, "Something tells me that I have some files to read though."

Nora smiled as she turned to leave, "I had hoped you'd notice."

* * * * * * *

"Well Joker, it looks like our stay on Illium will be just a little longer."

Nora snapped the last piece of her armor into place before doing a secondary check of her weapons.

"What's happened?"

Garrus appeared over her shoulder moments later, prepped and ready for the only half-formed mission floating around in Nora's mind. Nora frowned, "Thane's gone missing, and I just got information from the Illusive Man as to his whereabouts."

"Thane's _missing?_" Joker spun around in his chair his expression incredulous, "What did he do, disappear into thin air? Wasn't he on the ship not more than five minutes ago?"

"T.I.M thinks that I may have interrupted him in the middle of a mission, so it's up to us to find him and make sure he doesn't die before helping us out."

"Wait a second…" Joker held his hand up as he interrupted, "I know that last part was important…but who is Tim?"

"T-I-M…you know - The Illusive Man." Nora shrugged, "I've started calling him Tim in my head. It's shorter and probably just as false as his current title, but it makes talking about him go a little faster - only one name as opposed to three."

For a moment all those gathered in the cockpit seemed to be at a loss for words. In the next, all were laughing heartily; giggling about 'Tim' and the fact that maybe, just maybe, Tim _was_ his real name. Indeed, even EDI took the time to reassure all those gathered of Shepard's impeccable thought process. "One name is indeed shorter than three."

That 'Tim' had even been given the stamp of approval by the Normandy VI wasn't lost on the crew; the increased hoots of laughter a testament to the newfound popularity of the now not-so-illusive leader of Cerberus.

It was only later, as Nora, Garrus and Jack walked through the merchants sector of Illium that Garrus remembered his question.

"You said you had information on Thane's whereabouts?"

"Not me actually, but our contact should be familiar to you." She glanced at him over her shoulder, "Does the name Liara T'soni ring any bells?"

Garrus stopped for a moment, nearly bumping into Jack, "What is Dr. T'soni doing here on Illium?"

"Apparently she works as an information broker now," Nora weaved through a crowd of people, headed towards an empty stairwell that led to an expensive looking office. They were greeted by a secretary when they reached the top, their presence a pleasant surprise to both the asari behind the counter and even, it seemed, to Liara herself.

And yet, there was something distinctly different about the young archeologist who now was poised to be one of the most influential information brokers on Illium.

"I'll make it simple, either you pay me or I flay you alive, _with my mind."_

"Oh, Shepard!"

The change from intimidating to friendly when she noticed who was standing behind her was startling, the familiar face suddenly warm despite its initial cool. "My sources told me you were alive...but I never believed – it's very good to see you."

"You're threatening to flay people alive now?"

"Oh that?" Liara shrugged, "That was just a customer unhappy with the information he received." She walked towards the balcony of her office and Shepard could almost see the asari age before her eyes, "He'll pay…they always do. Ever since I helped you stop Saren people have wanted to be my friend. Or, at least not be my enemy. I've found some success in being an information broker; it's paid the bills since…well…for the past two years."

She trailed off, giving the human woman a meaningful look. "And now you're back. Gunning for the collectors and working for Cerberus."

Nora smiled, "That isn't exactly public knowledge."

"Neither is you being alive, Shepard. Information is my business now, and if you need information on finding people then I'm happy to help."

Commander Shepard was smart enough to read between the lines, knowing even without asking that Liara would not be able to join them even if she asked. Still, the offer of information was exactly what she needed.

"I'm looking for a Thane Krios, he's here on Illium."

"The assassin?" Liara nodded as she leaned over her desk, hands folding thoughtfully, "He arrived here several days ago. My sources tell me he may be targeting a corporate executive, Nassana Dantius. He contacted a woman named Serena. _She_ has an office in the cargo transfer levels."

"And this was all off the top of your head?"

The expression that crossed Liara's face was as unsettling as it was entirely unfamiliar.

"I am a _very_ good information broker, Shepard. The world of intrigue isn't all that different from a dig site, except that the dead bodies still smell."

Nora could barely manage a smile. "Thanks for the help, that's all I needed to know."

"Of course, if there's anything else, let me know."

But the dissonance between the woman Nora remembered and the woman sitting before her was so entirely unsettling that there was little Nora could say.

"I'll see you around Liara."

They arrived just outside the Dantius Corporation not more than an hour later; making their way to the, as yet unfinished, second tower which Serena had been sure would be Thanes means of entry. With what little Nora knew about the drell assassin it seemed unlikely that they would find him until they reached Nassana Dantius herself, but that was not something Nora was looking forward to doing.

Still, judging by her conversations with Serena, the mercenaries would be an interesting enough distraction until they managed to cross from their own tower to the penthouse.

As if drawn by thought alone, a small contingency of scout droids emerged from the building, killing the two Salarian workers who ran before them.

_No, Serena hadn't been lying. Nasana Dantius was a killer and even her own workers weren't safe_.

Nora only hoped they got there in time to see Thane undamaged.

* * * * * * *

They spent the entire Illium night working through the second tower, meeting wave after wave of mercenary attack before they finally reached the penthouse. The sun was just beginning to filter in between the metal-enforced safety plates Nassana had installed over her windows.

Nora felt a jolt of recognition when the asari business woman turned around.

_They had met before, on the Citadel. _

"Shepard? But I thought…you were dead!"

Smiling, Nora tucked her weapon away, "I got better."

"And now you're here to kill me." The fact that she sounded so certain seemed all the more ironic. Around the room Nassana's guard leveled their weapon and waited for the order.

Purple-blue eyes flickering momentarily to the armed mercenaries, Nora addressed the asari business woman with her continued smile. "You're really paranoid aren't you?"

The CEO scowled, "Don't patronize me Shepard."

The human merely shook her head, letting Nassana say what she would.

"I'm sure you find this all very ironic. First you kill my sister and now you're here for me."

Nora's smile broadened by the smallest of margins, "I find it ironic, but I'm not going to kill you Nassana."

"You expect me to believe that?!" She rounded on the woman, her hands slamming angrily on her desk, "You _destroyed _my tower, _decimated_ my security and you tell me that you're not here to kill me?!"

"You know, if you put it that way, it almost sounds like you're disappointed." Nora had stopped smiling, but remained where she was; eyes and ears alert for _anything_ that might suggest Thane was in the area. "I'm not here for you Nassana; I'm looking for someone."

The asari woman seemed deaf to her words, choosing instead to offer her credits and power, not that Nora needed, or wanted, either.

Above them both, she heard the almost imperceptible scuff of what sounded like footsteps in the ventilation shaft as the conversation continued. Nora heard only the smallest of noises and though instinct demanded she react to the threat, she moved instead to cross her arms over her chest, her pose carefully neutral.

"All the credits in the world won't stop _this _problem, Nassana."

"I may not be perfect, _but look at you_. We _both_ kill for money, what's the difference?"

Nora pushed a stray bit of hair away from her face before looking more fully at the asari executive.

"You kill people because you think they're beneath you, because they get in the way." She moved until she was leaning on Nassana's desk, her palms flat against the polished surface. "I kill people because they give me no other choice."

Another sound of movement in the ventilation systems overhead drew the attention of the mercenary guards, and was only their reaction that caught the attention of the very upset executive."

"You _do_ have a choice. I can tell you…_what?_"

"I heard something."

Turning to her guards, Nassana seemed to temporarily forget the three intruders to her office, sending them to check the exits. But just as the asari had regained enough peace to start her tirade again, the room itself seemed to dissolve in chaos.

It was over in less than a minute, and when the room fell into silence once more all but Shepard and her team were dead.

"Thane."

Across the room the drell had remained where he was head down as he prayed to his gods, asking for forgiveness.

"Thane."

He looked up suddenly, dropping his folded hands as he moved around the desk and clutter of bodies. Slowly his mouth smoothed into a smile as he saw her there, flanked by both Garrus and Jack. Outfitted in custom armor as opposed to the civilian clothes in which he had met her, Thane could appreciate the difference he saw in her delicate features.

"Ah, Nora. I had wondered how long it would take you to follow." He sounded pleased to see her despite the fact she had nearly interrupted his mission. "You have not disappointed."

"If you had an assignment you should have told me."

Far from angry, she sounded almost exasperated.

"It was not a risk I was willing to take. You have to understand, Nora that this mission was of a particularly sensitive issue. Besides, you had expressed a desire to join me on an assignment. I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me."

"I had wanted to _join _you, not run after you." She sounded grumpy. "You didn't exactly 'invite' me either; I had to find out from the Illusive Man."

"Ah. I apologize." He smiled kindly as he nodded to both members who accompanied Nora.

"So now that you're done with this mission, will you come with us as you first promised?"

"Your mission is still the same as it was two days ago?"

"Yes. We have to stop the Collectors and make it through the Omega 4 relay."

"The Omega 4 relay from which no ship has ever returned, I remember." Thane turned towards the window suddenly, "You'd like me to protect humans I've never met, from aliens no one knows anything about by going to a place no one's ever returned from."

He shot her a teasing smile before it faded suddenly.

"Despite what I told you earlier, this was to be my last job - I'm dying." He continued to look out to the sunbathed city that stretched out before him. "Low survival odds don't concern me. The abduction of your colonists does."

"I…"

He turned just in time to see a myriad of emotions crossing her face, the struggle for control amidst a storm. "You never mentioned anything, nor had I heard…is there anything I can do?"

_She is truly remarkable, this human woman. _

Thane shook his head, dark eyes still inexplicably drawn to the way her emotions remained just beneath the surface. "The universe is a dark place. I'm trying to make it brighter before I die."

A flash of grief crossed her face quickly stifled behind a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"So you'll join us then?" Voice soft, she spoke only to him.

"I will work for you, Nora. No charge. "

Her smile didn't change the pain still evident in her expression. And yet, for all of her agony, she bore the emotions in silence.

Such quiet inner strength, this human woman possessed.

"Welcome to the team, Thane."

Distantly he felt something in him respond. Like an echo from a distant memory, too elusive to yet understand. It was gone the moment he tried to focus on it, an enigma for one with eidetic memory.

_Perhaps the memories would return with time._

Thane smiled as the thought crossed his mind.

* * * * * * *

"Ah!" Kelly Chambers looked up from her data to find her commander nearly at the elevator, "Commander, you have a few messages on your private terminal."

Nora smiled tiredly, her face marked with dirt and sweat. "I'll read them up in my quarters Kelly, _after_ I've taken a shower."

The yeoman nodded in understanding, "Looks like you could use one, it's almost hard to see you under all that battle-sweat. Still, it makes me wish this ship had a room for us girls…you know, where we could take a bubble bath sometime."

The sentiment was one which Nora shared.

Still, as she climbed beneath the hot spray and luxuriated in the way the steam clung to her skin and the bathroom mirror she could forgive the ship for not having a bathtub. No doubt Nora would have felt less inclined to work if it meant getting out of a soak tub.

As it was, the shower ended entirely too soon, and though the tension in her muscles had long since eased, she needed to do something else, something quiet, before she would feel quite like her usual self.

Changing into the familiar shirt and shorts she wore to bed, Nora sat down at her computer terminal to read the messages her yeomen had mentioned. She didn't respond to a single one. She was, for all intents and purposes, still dead.

Being unable to answer even a single letter seemed only to fuel her loneliness.

Nora managed only a few minutes more before pushing away from her desk, grabbing the soft comforter from her bed and finding a seat on the private L-shaped couch.

"EDI, please turn lights down to forty percent."

It would be some time before any of the crew would be in a place to go searching for the Asari Justicar who was to be the focus of their next mission. Still, she thrived on being prepared.

The data pad hummed quietly to life, casting its golden glow on delicate features, glinting off the still damp texture of her hair.

_File: Samara _

An hour passed without ceremony, without interruption. The chaos of Thane's mission slowly faded away, in its place peace. She was half asleep when, at last, the door to her room slid open; the telltale whisper of sliding metal breaking the otherwise penetrating silence.

Looking up from the mission data Nora found a familiar face framed in the doorway of her room. Rubbing tiredly at her eyes, Nora absently noted that he was still wearing his battered omega-grade armor.

_She would need to put in an order for a new suit when they reached the Citadel. She didn't trust any of the other merchants she had met on either Omega or Illium to make high caliber plating like back in Alliance space. _

"Garrus?"

She looked at the bright blue lights of her clock, the blurry numbers revealing that it was indeed close to five in the morning.

"May I come in, Shepard?"

Her large purple-blue eyes up at him in confusion, "If you'd like, was there something you wanted to say?"

"You had mentioned wanting to see me several days ago. But that's not why I'm here."

"No?" A little frown appeared on her lips, "Then why?"

He smiled despite himself, _she had said nearly the same time last time._ The thought left his heart aching but he managed well enough to suppress it. Moving the few steps to cross the distance between them he pushed a small box into her hands. Wrapped in a delicate crème paper, the little green bow made the package all the more adorable.

Nora brushed a finger against the satin ribbon, appreciating the gift. Unbidden, an image of him trying to tie a bow with his taloned hands came to mind, making her smile anew.

"Happy Birthday."

Her eyes widened as his words sank in; turning to look at him she tried to say something but was rendered mute by the look in his eyes.

"I know you said last time that it wasn't important, but… " his expression was hard to read when he didn't use his hands to elaborate his ideas, but she thought he looked embarrassed.

"Last time?"

She whispered the words as if a fragile gift.

"You had just been cleared to command the Normandy after the defeat of Sovereign." His eyes lost focus as he sank into the memory, "I wasn't going with you for the first mission, so we decided to celebrate your birthday before you left."

She smiled sadly, knowing she had died only a week later on that very same mission. "It feels like so long ago."

His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. Secure in his casual hold, Nora sighed deeply and gently ran her thumb along the edge of her gift, creasing the paper more deeply.

She wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as possible, _forever_ if she had her way.

Tucking her body closer to his, she closed her eyes and savored the familiar smell of him, the way his body seemed made for her.

"Is everything alright?"

His voice was soft in her ear.

"Yes. This is a wonderful surprise, thank you."

Turning in his easy grip, Nora gently kissed the scarred skin of his right mandible. Soft, familiar, it took every ounce of his strength to remain where he was. Unable to pull away, Garrus closed his eyes, not trusting himself to do more than that.

"Shepard."

Voice strained with desperation, he tried to have her stop her gentle ministrations, too weak to pull himself away. Her hand came to cup his cheek, her touch familiar.

"If it's my birthday," she whispered against the side of his face, "Don't I get a wish?"

"I…"

He felt his resolve weaken further as she crawled on his lap, her small body pressed against his. Unbidden, his hands came to cradle her close, splaying against the small of her back, keeping her steady as she looked him in the eyes.

_Such sad purple-blue eyes_.

"If I tell you my wish, will that mean it won't come true?"

Her lip trembled for a moment before she leaned forward and kissed him again, melting against the warmth of his body.

"We can't do this, Shepard."

Garrus struggled to find his voice, her soft kisses rendering him nearly incoherent.

"Why not?"

He swallowed thickly. "We've already had this conversation."

The small scraps of control he had gathered nearly shattered as she pressed closer still, her soft body decadently stretched against his own. Another kiss sent those same shreds of control careening from his grasp.

"_Nora, please_."

She stopped suddenly and without preamble.

Pulling back, he missed the look on her face as she turned, seeing only the way she retreated, her arms wrapped around herself protectively.

"I'm sorry."

She stopped just in front of the fish tank where the one fish from Palaven was swimming, on hand coming to rest against chilled glass. "I shouldn't have done that to you. It was…selfish. You came to give me a birthday present as a friend and I turned it into something completely different."

Unable to look at him, Nora flinched when she felt his hand on her shoulder. The message had finally hit home, the message he had repeated more times than he could remember.

But if some small part of him eased at the realization, the glimpse of her face as it reflected off the glassy aquarium made his stomach turn.

"Nora…"

The devastation on her face slipped behind a careful controlled mask as she turned to watch him disappear behind elevator doors. Her mouth locked in a pretty, but ultimately false smile.

"Thank you again for the birthday gift, Garrus."

The door closed without further comment, leaving both to consider their actions in silence. And in the isolated space of the elevator, Garrus felt as he finally managed to break her heart.

"EDI, please activate high security locks on the room." Eyes shut against the tears; Nora's voice was steady as she ordered the VI into action. "Tell Joker not to radio me either, I need to be alone."

And in that moment, the last lingering vestiges of old romance died away, leaving only a terrible void where once had bloomed sweet adoration, leaving only a broken woman with too many tears she couldn't shed.


	6. Chapter 6: Comfort

AN: Hello all! A shout out to all the AMAZING people who have continued to follow this fic and took the time to send me a message, it really does make me smile. I won't chat too long, but just wanted to once more give credit to the lovely Zepheera for her continued hard work in editing this chapter, without whom this fic would scarecly be what it is today.

Thanks again for your continued interest - and as always, I own nothing you recognize!

Much Love! Voi

* * *

"Jack, would you mind handing me the scissors by my desk?"

Sitting on her bed, her back against the headboard, Nora was gently picking at the tape that held the paper to her birthday present.

"You're asking me to give you the scissors?" Jack scoffed as she slowly spun the office chair around its axis, "Why _doesn't_ that sound like a good idea?"

"Just give me the scissors Jack," Nora's voice was subdued, her heart still aching painfully from the events of only a few hours past. She would still be alone if Jack hadn't made a surprise visit to her room, threatening to rip the door right out of the wall if Nora wouldn't open.

"Yeah, whatever."

A second later the silver implement hurtled through the air; point first, towards the unsuspecting commander. Already a weapon in its own right, the projectile was entirely lethal as it cut across the room.

_"Jack._"

The scissors clattered harmlessly against a skin-tight biotic barrier, dropping heavily to the bed with little more than a muted clatter.

She looked up in what _should_ have been annoyance. She couldn't even muster the effort to sound upset, she felt worn out, empty. Turning back to the gift in her hands she picked up the scissors and made the appropriate cuts, feeling listless.

"I asked for you to 'hand' me the scissors, not throw them at me. Besides, if you want to kill someone with those you're going to have to throw them harder."

A sharp flick of biotic power sent the scissor back from whence it came, this time moving twice as fast. It met Jack's barrier nearly a foot from the still reclining woman, managing to sink half-way through the shield before stopping entirely.

"Shit, Shepard. What the hell was that?"

The commander didn't even bothering to look up as she continued to unwrap the gift, painstakingly unfolding the paper.

"A mistake…sorry." She fumbled a little as she dropped the paper on the ground, "I _meant_ to toss them back to you. The L5 is still giving me problems."

"No shit?" Jack pulled the shears from the barrier before letting the biotic power drop, "The L5s have been out for nearly a year, what's with your control issue?"

Nora continued to look down at the package in her hands, eyes unseeing as she stopped what she was doing.

_She couldn't do this right now, she felt numb. _

Better if she concentrated on the other woman in her room. Maybe some of Jack's temper would make her feel better, _normal_, again.

"It has something to do with the influx of power and its tie to emotions, going from an L3 to L5 is not exactly something I have practice with."

"L3 to L5 – what the hell was wrong with having an L4?"

"You were there on Horizon Jack. I've been clinically dead for two years; I missed the L4 and was just implanted with the L5 instead."

"You some sort of Cerberus science experiment, too?"

Purple-blue eyes looked up, expression fathomless, before she turned to stare at her hands, "Something like that."

Jack had the distinct suspicion she had inadvertently revealed something, though she couldn't quite figure out the details. Pushing the chair away from the desk, the young woman moved restlessly in the small office space.

A small collection of books and magazines sat upright, tucked at the far end of the desk. Beginning her search Jack looked up after making it a third of the way through the collection.

"I can't believe you alphabetize _and_ categorize everything. Shit."

"It helps me find things when I need it," Nora's reply was laced with exhaustion; her body now sprawled over her bed, one arm covering her eyes.

The minutes slowly ticked by as Jack continued to thumb through the collection of weapon manuals, star charts, and biotic texts. It was unlikely the younger woman was likely to find anything of particular interest in the stack of romance novels either. Nothing except for…

"Well well…what do we have here?"

Nora turned her head but didn't bother sitting up. She knew which of her many books the young convict had found.

_Fornax._

"Ha ha… I knew it… Not quite so straight laced are we? I knew you had a kink somewhere."

Jack was holding the thin magazine between two fingers, her expression victorious.

"I bought that on Omega by accident," Nora felt the telltale rush of blood to her cheeks and promptly tried to suppress the feeling. It didn't work. "They wouldn't let me return it."

"Riiiiight." The young biotic seemed unconvinced, as she crossed the room to perch on the bed beside her commander. "And you're telling me that of all the issues out there you just _happened_ to pick the one on interspecies couples?"

Nora merely kept quiet knowing there was little she could say to convince the woman otherwise. She actually _hadn't_ realized which issue she had inadvertently bought, though in retrospect, it was ironic how very suitable it was to her own tastes. Not that she would _ever_ buy such a magazine on purpose.

"Ah well...can't say I blame you," Jack opened the magazine with a flourish, her dark eyes lighting up as she scanned the contents, "It's more exciting than the usual issue."

Unable to help herself Nora scooted a little closer, hesitating for a moment before curiosity got the best of her, her eyes straining as she leaned around Jack. "How so?" she asked peering over Jack's shoulder, taking a glance at the glossy pages. A smirk crossed the younger woman's face, and she lifted the magazine just a little higher.

"Let me show you."

It was a long time before the blush quite disappeared from Shepard's face.

* * * * * * *

"Well…that was certainly a learning experience." Nora mumbled to herself as she sat down in the mess hall and ate the strange concoction that was supposed to be lunch. Jack had been more much more graphic than her commander had actually needed, but the knowledge had been invaluable, no matter how Jack chose to phrase it.

Nora felt the blush creep across her face again as she remembered a particularly explicit anecdote the other woman had shared. She had _never_ wanted to know as much about Jack's sex life as she did now.

With her thoughts diverted, and her eyes occupied with the mush on her plate, a sudden warm touch on her shoulder made her jump.

"Are you alright, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas was watching her worriedly, "You looked a little flushed."

"Flushed?" Yes, Shepard was aware that her face was unusually red, but there was _no way_ she was going to explain the reason. "No… I'm feeling fine."

"Are you sure, dear? I could always check, you might have a slight flu."

"Flu?" Nora shook her head, "No, that won't be necessary. I'm just fine."

"Your head injury hasn't been bothering you, has it?"

"Injury?" Nora raised her hand and brushed her fingers against healed skin, unblemished by even the faintest scar, "No. The implants make everything heal quickly." She smiled distantly, "Sometimes it feels like they never happened at all."

"Alright then, if you're quite sure you're alright then I'll leave you alone."

Shepard merely nodded before slowly getting to her feet, only to pause as the good doctor appeared once more.

"I nearly forgot…did Officer Vakarian manage to find you after you were released? He had mentioned checking up on you sometime during treatment."

The small smile on Nora's face trembled for a moment, "Yes, he found me. Thank you for the message doctor."

And then she was moving, away from the mess hall, far away from the crowd of people, half blind as she stumbled into the observation room.

_Such a little thing, a well-meaning question… and it made her come undone._

Struggling not to cry aloud, she made it as far as the second step before the sound pushed past her lips. And even then, it lasted barely a second before she managed to once more find the strength within to stop the awful sound of agony.

Rather, it was the tears, the glistening tracks of water against her skin that seemed unending. Nora sad down heavily in one of the chairs and inhaled deeply, shakily.

The hours with Jack had dulled the pain, had given her some peace. But it was still there. Underneath everything, the undiluted sense of agony remained, stabbing at her with the same accuracy that Garrus had with a sniper rifle.

_Not_ she amended, _that he had purposefully sought to harm her._

The tears continued on.

_It didn't feel right to be without him, to walk away, to accept…_

She inhaled again, feeling the air burn her lungs.

"Nora?"

She stilled for a moment before she move quickly, scrubbing the tears from her eyes, off of her cheeks. When at last she looked to the speaker she knew she hardly looked any better than she had with the tears on her face.

"Hello, Thane."

"I apologize; it would appear I am interrupting a most private moment." The drell shifted his weight as he met her gaze.

A wave of guilt swamped heras she realized that she had probably interrupted his own meditations, and she brushed the remaining tears more fervently from her face, her damp fingers removing the last drops as quickly as possible.

"No, it's my fault." Nora exhaled shakily, "I thought this room was empty. I hadn't realized you were using it to meditate."

"Given the circumstances, Nora, I can hardly be upset." He took a seat next to her, "I've seen that look before, and it has always come at a time of great sorrow."

A great breadth of silence spread out between the two, but it was a comforting one. After a while Nora managed another shuttering breath before turning to face him.

Her expression only a hairsbreadth away from shattering once more, her hands knotted themselves in the fabric of her pants. "I…"

"You need not tell me, if it would cause you more pain. I will accept only what you wish to share." His voice was gentle as he kept vigil beside her, his expression understanding as she looked away, once more overcome by emotion.

"We haven't known each other for very long, I would hate for you to think poorly of me." The words tumbled out of Nora's mouth, her eyes moist as she spoke. "I want you to trust me_, some day_. Not just because the mission requires it for our survival, but also because I think we could be great friends."

"Then surely, speaking to me now is that first step in becoming friends." His reassurance warmed her, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze for much longer. Shame, and heartache remained to sharp a pain in her chest, making her insecure.

She pressed her face into her hands, "I don't want you to waste your time."

And though she couldn't see the expression on his face, the warmth of his hand as he gently rubbed her back eased her need to cry.

"What little time I have is yours, Nora. It could never be a waste."

* * * * * * *

"Hey Shepard, you have a minute?"

There was something in the way Jack looked at her that signaled something was amiss, not with her arrival but with the young woman herself. Nora had not done more than lean against the wall when Jack began to speak, her hands gesturing frantically.

"I've got thoughts, like little bugs crawling in and out of my head. I can't stop them."

Moving restlessly around the small space the young biotic almost disappeared up the staircase before returning.

"You know I have a past with Cerberus. You know how far back it goes?"

It wasn't really a question she was asking, so Nora remained silent, her pale eyes unblinking as she continued to watch the other woman prowl.

"You know your pal, the Illusive Man?" Blunt-tipped fingers ran up and touched a scar on her shoulder, "Never seen _him_ before, but Cerberus raised me. First thing I remember is my cell door in a Cerberus Base."

She sat down on the stairs; her hands loosely linked together, "They did experiments. Drugged me. Tortured me. Whatever chance I had to be normal, they stole it by trying to turn me into some super biotic. The doctors… the other kids... Every one of them hated me. They let me suffer."

Her voice had become a monotone, as if she were simply a machine, as if _she_ was nothing more than an object. Nora felt her hands clench in anger, knowing from experience the level of pain that came with being an 'experiment.' First Akuze and then the Lazarus project, both had left scars that would, with time, heal. Looking at Jack, Nora had to wonder if the younger woman had even considered that possibility.

"You're absolutely certain that Cerberus was running the facility?"

"I was a kid, but I wasn't dumb." Jack shrugged, "I know how to listen. It was Cerberus. Don't care how far down the chain it was."

Shifting slightly, Jack's voice hardened, "They thought they were _so_ clever. Turns out, you mess with someone's head enough and you can turn a scared kid into an all powerful bitch. Fucking idiots."

And yet for all of her hard words there was a sudden flash of _something_ in the other woman's eyes, a flicker of doubt, a moment of hesitation.

_Had it been fear?_

Nora felt an answering call of rage as she looked at the smaller woman. "I'm going to talk to the Illusive Man, and he's better have some answers.

"He'll just deny everything. That's not what I'm after anyway." Jack stood up slowly, "I found the coordinates in your files. I want to go to the Teltin facility on Pragia, where they tortured and drugged me. I want to go to the center of the base, my cell. I want to deploy a big fucking bomb. And I want to watch from orbit when it goes."

Nora merely extended her hand, "Give me the coordinates, then."

The data pad was in her care moments later, held close as she made her way up to the command deck. They were setting a direct course for Pragia as fast as they could, anything less would be unacceptable.

* * * * * * *

"I forgot how much I hate this place."

Jack hadn't even bothered looking out the small shuttle portal as they descended into Pragia's surface. "See the landing pad? Has to be on the roof or the vegetation would overgrow it in a few hours."

"Shepard," EDI's electronic voice sounded in the small room, "I am picking up thermal signatures everywhere, except at your landing zone."

"Something's distorting the sensors then." Shepard managed a glance at the low lying grey building through the rain that was battering the small ship.

"Yeah, they build their equipment to last. Assholes." Jack turned suddenly to face her commander, "It was a mistake coming back here, Shepard."

Had she been any other person Nora was sure to have given what words of comfort she could. But Jack wouldn't have accepted her kindness, not outright, and so Nora gave what few words she managed to find

"When we start a mission, we finish it. Eyes sharp and everything will be fine."

"Yeah, ok." Jack's expression revealed her to be far from convinced, but she had settled, at least a little. "Let's get on the ground."

It was raining even more heavily when they finally reached the lab, the sky a stormy grey with winds to match. Nora was the first out of the shuttle, her short hair almost immediately plastered to her skull as the torrential rains threatened to soak everything.

Turning to watch Jack linger on the shuttle, Nora wondered, not for the first time, if she was doing the right thing. As if to make the situation more complicated, the third member of the shore team stepped through the shuttle door, his three fingered hand easily pulling the assault rifle from his back as he moved.

She still couldn't understand what she hoped to gain by bringing Garrus along. From a tactical point of view, it was in her favor to have brought along someone skilled in long range, despite the close quarters. Still, she was smart enough to know Thane had a similar enough skill set that compensating would not have been all that difficult.

She pushed the thought aside as brilliant blue eyes caught her own and then turned away. She didn't have time for this. She had made her choice, now she just had to deal with it.

"Let's go."

And the mission for Jack's past began.

* * * * * * *

"I never saw this room. I guess they brought kids in those containers."

Peering up at the cargo crates usually used for heavy machinery Nora couldn't imagine that these had once been the boxes that brought children to the facility. It seemed less than human and even the idea of such things made her ill, and unspeakably angry.

"They were messed up and starving, but alive. Usually." Jack didn't approach the containers, keeping well away, her eyes darting around the room.

Her stomach twisted at the reminder thatJack was not the only biotic child in this facility_._

"This is…unbelievable." Garrus' voice was rough with anger and disbelief as he peered at the contents of the room. Unbidden, his hand seemed to find her shoulder and gripped gently, in comfort.

Nora allowed the contact for only a moment before slowly pulling away; fearing that any longer would cause only pain. Exiting the small cargo bay, Nora had managed only a few steps when the flickering message on a nearby security console drew her attention.

_"The Illusive Man requested operation logs again. He's getting suspicious it –"_

"Sounds like someone was working beyond their contract." Garrus was at her side again, speaking softly though this time he made no move to touch her.

Jack flexed her hands, already at the entrance to the next room, her expression carefully guarded, "He didn't say _what_ they were hiding from the Illusive Man."

Nora followed wordlessly; walking past twisted metal to emerge in a large atrium, damp and overgrown though the catwalks appeared functional and relatively safe despite the rust.

"I remember escaping to this room. Fighting here." Jack's voice echoed in the large expanse, "I saw sunlight through the cracks in the ceiling. Only a half dead guard between me and freedom. He was begging for his life."

It was clear Jack hadn't bothered sparing the man. For once Nora had no sympathy for the man, and as they continued working around the wreckage she couldn't shake the sense of cruelty that seemed to so permeate the facility.

Arriving at a circular enclosure of concrete barriers, Nora felt something in her stomach clench. "This looks like an arena."

That's right." Jack almost smiled, "They used to stage fights here. Pit me against the other kids. I _loved_ it. It was the only time I was out of my cell."

"What were they studying?"

"Hell if I know. Maybe that's how they got their kicks. I never understood anything that happened here." She shrugged, "I got filled with drugs and got shocked whenever I hesitated. Narcotics flooded my veins whenever I attacked."

"They rewarded you for attacking?"

The sardonic expression on Jack's face was tinged with an almost self-loathing. "I still get warm feelings during a fight"

Nora could scarcely believe the words, her own revulsion towards the situation made all the worse.

The sooner they left this place, the better.

They arrived at another security console as they passed through the hall to the next room. _"Security Officer Zemkil, Teltin Facility. The subjects are out of their cells! They're tearing the place apart. Subject Zero is going to get loose. I need permission to terminate – I repeat, permission to terminate!"_

Another voice, Security Control answered a moment later_. "All subjects besides Zero are expendable. Keep Jack alive!"_

_"I understand, I'll begin the-"_

The console was suddenly ripped from its hinges and sent flying across the hall. Jack stood amidst the destruction, her hands glowing blue in the darkness. "That's not right. I broke out when my guards disappeared - I started that riot."

"Things might have happened that you just didn't see." Nora offered, mind racing as she considered the implications.

"The other kids attacked me. The guards attacked me. The _automated systems _attacked me. That doesn't leave a lot of room for interpretation." Jack's voice sounded strained, but she showed no other expression outside of her usual scowl. "Come on."

They walked down a flight of stairs, stopping short as they came across the still-warm body of a varren.

"This place is supposed to be empty." The suspicion in Jack's voice was laced with antagonism, "Who the fuck shot the varren? It's a fresh kill."

The culprits were waiting for them in the next room, Blood Pack mercenaries. Taking cover behind a small examining table, Nora pulled out her assault rifle and set the appropriate clips. A krogan and several armored humans stood against them, all organics. The incendiary ammo would be best.

As it was, the fighting ended sooner than she had expected. Jack more than made up the difference in numbers as wave after wave of biotic powers came crashing down upon their enemies, making the building shudder with the force of her attacks.

Only when the fighting settled did Nora have time to look around long enough to realize where they were. The new awareness sent chills down her spine. Jack too seemed unable to make sense of what she was seeing.

"Why'd they need a morgue? This was a small facility."

"The other children must have died in great numbers." It was Garrus who answered her, "Even then; they were part of the experiment."

_Just like on Akuze where they studied the dead _Nora thought uneasily. Cerberus had a rather unhealthy tendency of running true to form.

* * * * * * *

"It's so strange to be back here." Jack repeated the phrase for what felt like the fourth time in half as many minutes. She had grown increasingly uneasy the further the exploration pushed into Teltin.  
"I feel like…I'm pissed off. I'm a dangerous bitch. But then I'm a little girl again." There was a tremor in her voice, "Shit, it's complicated. Let's just plant that bomb."

Jack walked past a row of small doorways, carefully avoiding looking into each cell. Curious, Nora peered through the dimness into the last one and immediately wished she hadn't. Stumbling backwards the commander tried to erase the image that so burned in her mind.

_A little chair and desk, a small child size bed, an old picture frame with photo of a family long since destroyed by Cerberus._

Garrus caught her arm, hauling her upright.

"Easy, Shepard." Purple-blue eyes met brilliant blue and held.

Slowly she returned to herself, shuddering for a second as she managed to collect her emotions for the first time since the mission had started. Turmoil still roiled under the surface, but of another nature. For the time being, _that_ particular pain would have to remain suppressed.

The next room looked like just as Nora might have imagined the perfect mad scientist's lab. There was a chair with restraints in two of the smaller alcoves.

"I must have come through here when I broke out, but I don't remember it." Jack shook her head, hanging back this time. "This is a bad place." Never before had her words sounded so young, so naïve and scared.

There was another security console in this room too.

_"Entry 1054, Teltin facility." _The image of a man appeared though it was badly distorted, the record damaged. "_The latest iteration of PergNim went poorly. Subjects One, Four, and Six died. No biotic change among the survivors. We lowered the core temperature of surviving subjects but no biotically beneficial reactions occurred. As a side effect, all subjects died."_

Nora flinched at the information but made no sound, her hands tightly clenched at her sides.

The man in the recording clasped his hands behind his back, _"So we'll not be trying that on Zero. I hope our supply of biotic potential subjects holds up. We are going through them fast."_

The information stream had only barely ended before Jack stalked off, "This is bullshit! They weren't experimenting on other children for my safety!"

"Maybe this whole base was built to turn you into what you are." Nora spoke softly, following the other woman at a distance, uncertain as to what would do.

"You don't get it, Shepard. I survived this place because I was tougher than the rest. That's who I am. "

Nora shook her head, "You move on. _That's _harder and tougher."

Jack continued to move restlessly around the lab, her hands clenching and unclenching. It was on one of her circuits around the room that another console activated.

_"It's all fallen to pieces. The subjects are rampaging, and Zero is loose. We're shutting Teltin down. What a disaster." _The man sounded exasperated_, "We'll infiltrate and piggyback onto the Alliances' Ascension program. Hopefully that will…who, are…? Zero, wait!_

"Shepard, they've started up somewhere else!" Jack's voice was as close to horrified as Nora had ever heard it.

At least this time Nora had the means to properly assuage her fears. "Ascension is an Alliance program. It's a school for biotic kids. I know people who went through the program and they were _never_ tortured."

It took Jack several moments to process the information, but when she did there was an almost imperceptible easing in her shoulders. "A lot of this…isn't the way I remember it."

"You couldn't have known."

"Maybe" She shrugged again, looking lost, "We're getting close to my cell. The place I came from. Let's keep going."

They made it only just passed the door when they came face to face with more mercenaries, and this time it appeared as if they had been waiting for them.

"Hey Aresh, it's Kureck." The leader of the small band was a krogan in some non-standard assault armor, "Yeah, the intruders are here. You want them dead, we have to talk creds."

Turning to face Nora and her two companions, Kureck's attention remained predominantly on his mysterious caller.

"You promised us lots of salvage, but this place is a waste." He paused frowning suddenly in displeasure, "Fine – we'll put 'em down. Then I'm coming in there and we're going to talk salvage."

In a split second the air was filled with arcs of fire and bullets, a brilliant cacophony of noise and violence as Nora dove behind cover. The fight was tougher this time.

Every kill took twice as much concentration, and though she found herself in a position to use the force charge a couple of times each use had strained her, threatening exhaustion as the biotic energy evaporated from her reserves.

Leaving her to take point, Jack and Garrus acted accordingly, covering each other as Nora set about cutting those who strayed from the main force. And when at last Kureck fell, the last of the mercenaries, the only damage was to armor plating, scuffed and singed but otherwise unbroken.

Jack had holstered her pistol and was almost to her cell door by the time Nora caught up. Grabbing the young biotic's arm, Nora raised a single finger, asking the younger woman pause. The door slid open to reveal an empty room and utter silence within.

_A farce, that was true…but was it a trap as well?_

The krogan, Kureck, had been talking to someone on his comm., it was likely that someone was near at hand. Once more Nora took point, but this time she didn't bother drawing her weapon, the shimmering blue of her biotic powers serving as shield enough.

"Come out, we know you're here."

A man appeared from behind a battered wardrobe.

"Who are you?" Jack's voice seemed almost entirely unfamiliar now, half lost in memories and realizations of her past.

"My name is Aresh, and you're breaking into my home. I know you, Subject Zero." He turned towards her and Nora watched in silence as Jack drew her pistol, leveling it at the man's head.

"So many years have passed, and I thought I was the only survivor." The man, Aresh, spoke in a voice too weary for his age but his eyes shone brightly, excited.

"My name is Jack," the young biotic shook her head, "How the hell do you know me."

"We all knew your face, Jack. They inflicted horrors on us so their experiments wouldn't _kill_ you. You were the question, and I'm still looking for the answer."

"Why did you come back?"Nora took a step forward, biotic energy still distorting the air around her.

"I hired these mercs and came back almost a solar year ago. We're rebuilding this place, piece by piece. I'm going to find out what they knew – how to unlock true biotic potential in humans. I'm restarting the Teltin facility. It will be _beautiful._"

Jack growled. "I wanted a hole in the ground – he's trying to justify what happened here by using it!"

"We _can_ blow up the place," Nora doubted Jack would accept anything but the destruction of the lab and all of its painful memories. "But that still leaves him. What do we do with another you?

Jack advanced on the man, her expression suddenly cold, predatory. "That's easy."

Aresh seemed to disagree. "Just leave me here. This is where I belong."

Snarling, Jack used a burst of biotic power to send the man to the ground, her pistol still trained on his head. "Fuck that."

"Jack. Killing him won't help you, or my mission, _stand down._"

Baring her teeth Jack looked up, her dark eyes glittering at the prospect of the kill. "It _will_ help me."

"I gave you an order." Nora's purple-blue eyes pierced the other woman, her expression stern and very much in control.

"This is my call! Don't tell me how to deal with my past!"

"Jack!"Nora pulled Aresh to the side, her own hand glowing brighter as she remained firm, her voice almost icy as she repeated her order a second time.

The younger woman seemed to consider the man before jerking her head towards the door, "Get out of here. Go!"

As soon as Aresh ran from the room, Jack seemed to return to normal, her fingers tracing the back of one hand as she watched the doors close behind him. "He's not worth chasing. None of it is."

Unable to help the small smile on her lips, Nora shook her head, "You did the right thing Jack."

"Maybe." Jack walked to the small bed desk the corner, her hand brushing the dusty surface. She was silent for a long moment, her expression lost to her commander as she moved slowly around the room.

Memories, the room was full of them. And as Nora watched the young woman linger, first at the desk, the window, and then the bed, she hoped that maybe, somehow, some peace could be found despite the pain.

"Commander?"

Nora looked away from the old bloodstained wall which had marked Jack's first kill. Jack's dark eyes shone brightly through the shadows.

"I'm ready to go. No more wallowing. Let's blow this place to hell."

Nora smiled faintly as she nodded and let the younger woman set the bomb. They were on the shuttle ten minutes later, flying away from all that remained of Jack's battered past.

Flicking the cap of the metallic detonator, up and down, Jack was silent as she quietly considered the key in her hand. A flash of emotion quickly stifled a sudden conclusion that _finally_ relaxed the tense settle of shoulder muscles.

Jack looked up and almost imperceptibly to her commander. Nora gave their shuttle pilot a quick warning before shifting in her chair, tightening the restrains as she moved to face the window.

Jack pushed the trigger.

The explosion lit the sky immediately, a small sun temporarily come to Paragia's surface.

Watching as the facility dissolved in a fiery sphere, Nora couldn't help but smile appreciatively at a mission accomplished, a loyalty gained.

"You did good, Jack."

The sardonic quirk on the other woman's lips was as close as Jack would ever get to truly smiling.

And though Nora was aware of their ever silent third member, she couldn't find the strength to meet his questioning gaze. There was nothing she could say.

* * * * * * *

It was several days after their mission on Pragia that Nora found Jack once more keeping her company in the privacy of her room after Engineering had called a meeting in the lower decks to discuss maintenance of the new Thanix Cannon and Silaris Heavy Armor.

Jack hated crowds.

Having given Joker the instructions to set a course for the Citadel Nora figured that the younger biotic would be once more be ensconced below the engineering underbelly before they arrived. Having received a particularly desperate communication from now _Councilor_ Anderson it would seem the mission to find Samara would have to wait once again.

"Hey Shepard, What's this?"

Nora smiled as she looked up from her data pad. "What does it look like?"

"Huh, never pegged you for a 'vest' sort of woman."

Her commander grinned as she set the mission readout on the nightstand and leaned to pull something from the pull out drawer, "I got it for _you_; its armor-grade Dura-weave with interior ceramic platting for added stability."

Tattooed hands gripped the tops of the vests shoulders, lifting it up to test weight, flexibility. "Shit."

"I would have given it to you before, but it only just arrived. Apparently couriers aren't all that reliable in Terminus space." Frowning slightly, Nora bent down retrieve the object she had dropped, leaving the young biotic time to try on the vest.

Jack pulled the vest open with a flick of biotic power, undoing the various cross-torso clips and zippers that would hold it in place during a firefight. Gunmetal grey in color, Jack smoothed one blunt-fingered hand over the soft fabric, almost savoring, before she tore her hand away, shoving it in her pocket.

_At least it was comfortable. A little big perhaps, but Jack couldn't remember the last time she had received a gift that suited her tastes quite the way this one did. _

Twisting in place, Jack examined the crisscross straps that ran along the side of the vest and tightened them accordingly. With the vest fitting better to her slim figure, Jack worked through various stretches before deeming the garment to be, at the very least, satisfactory.

"Hey Commander…"

Jack had only just taken off the vest when she saw exactly what her commander was doing.

"Shit. What is that?"

Nora looked up, the needle in her arm, her finger on the applicator, "Stims, why?"

Strange but she felt no shame in her admission, her mind pleasantly numb, and her heart frozen in her chest. Taking Garrus to Pragia may have been a professional decision in her favor, but as a personal choice it felt as if she had stomped on whatever little shards remained of her heart. Every touch had weakened her, and the striking similarities between Akuze and Pragia had haunted her for hours afterwards.

_She needed an escape. _

"Since when do you do stims?" Jack eyed the practiced way her commander removed the first applicator and reached for a second. Smooth and unhurried, the other woman inserted the syringe without flinching.

"You sound surprised." Nora ignored the question as her purple-blue eyes caught the darker ones, the smile on her face almost mocking, "It's a nice to know you're human too."

"I can tell when someone is trying to bait me. Don't try it, Shepard."

"Afraid of what happened last time?"

"I made you lose consciousness 'last time' and ended up doing turian war training with Vakarian."

Nora smiled wanly, "I take it you don't want a repeat of that sparring session?"

The young biotic all but snarled, "I don't care who I spar with or for how long, but that turian is just plain crazy. I could spar with _you_, hopped up on stims or not, and it would be easier."

Her eyes sharpened. "You're sure about that?"

Dark eyes held the gaze for a moment in surprise, then amusement. "Figures you would be the sort to get aggressive when you're drugged."

"Drugged or not, I didn't get this position just because I'm pretty." Nora's lips pressed together in a frown her eyes focusing on some distant memory oblivious to the woman in front of her, "Though no one around here seems to remember that."

"Well I'm always up for a fight." Jack smoothed her hand over the edge of her vest, "Up for one now if you want."

"Alright then." Nora stood up with liquid grace, shedding her standard issue uniform and quickly donning a pair of shorts and top. Pulling the longer stands of hair into a short pony-tail, the commander was pleased to see Jack was waiting by the elevator.

"We going to the cargo hold?"

Despite the stims, Nora's eyes cleared for a moment, "There's a training room in the lower levels. It has more than enough shielding to deal with our combined biotic powers and whatever else we decide to throw at each other."

Jack paused before following the other woman into the elevator.

"If that's what you want, Shepard, lead the way."

Nora gave no reply as she punched the button, closing her eyes against the feeling of loss that even the drugs would not let her escape.

* * * * * * *

They had only just arrived at the lower level when they were interrupted by the drell.

"Nora." His mild greeting was complimented by an ever enigmatic smile, "We seem to meet again."

Black eyes fathomless as he took note of her appearance and that of their biotic companion, he remained outwardly unchanged. Turning towards the other woman his smile remained in place his voice as entirely pleasant as when he had been dealing with their superior officer.

"You may leave Jack. I will spar with the commander."

"Like hell you will." the young woman growled, "She asked _me_, not you frog-man." She stabbed her finger forwards towards his chest only to find air.

"I have no wish to quarrel with you, Jack, but the commander is in my care now."

Jack jerked forwards as he appeared over her left shoulder, appearing as if from thin air. "I will take the commander with me, if you would be so kind."

Hesitating for only the briefest of moments, Jack merely snarled before turning heel and disappearing below the engineering deck and with her less than demure exit, quiet descended.

"Come along, Nora." His voice was the first to shatter the silence, the smooth deep tone warming her as he gently took her hand. Following obediently, Nora frowned when she entered the room and found it unusually warm.

"I requested EDI try and make the climate more arid, it will help you recover faster. She was most accommodating."

Nora merely nodded mutely, her eyes following him as he walked languorously to the sparring mat. It was only when he began to remove his coat that she moved toward him, her expression guarded.

For all that they were familiar with one another there was still every reason to be careful.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded as she took her place in the center of the mat, her hands dropping easily to her sides, fingers curled slightly but otherwise relaxed. Opposite her, Thane mirrored her own pose before nodding almost imperceptibly.

"Let us begin."

Slowly at first, and then with ever increasing speed, they moved. Lashing out with legs and arms in an intricate dance of control and fury, anger and calm, they fought one another for many long moments. Warm skin turned warmer still, sweat making it harder to grasp, breath came in increasingly sharper gasps, the frenzied light of violence burning brightly in purple-blue eyes.

Addicted to the temporary rush of sensation Nora lunged, dipped and weaved around his attacks, adjusting her weight as she maneuvered behind him. But just as she appeared on the cusp of landing a blow her entire word stopped suddenly, sharply, as a blow to her stomach sent her stumbling backwards.

His hand clamped on her throat not a moment later, tightening mercilessly as he forced her to stop short or risk strangling herself.

Breathing hard, Nora's body shook with the effort to remain still, the hair at her temples damp with perspiration.

"You are holding back, Nora. I can tell." He spoke patiently to her, as he released his grasp, moving slowly around her, circling. "You need not worry about hurting me. It is… unlikely… that you will even land a single blow."

"You're underestimating me," Nora frowned in mild annoyance despite the deep void-like calm that so permeated her body. Just because she didn't actually feel angry didn't mean she couldn't at least pretend to be feeling normal.

"You misunderstand me then." Thane's hand was on her shoulder and then her elbow, shifting her backwards as his touch ghosted across the gentle curve of her hip applying just enough pressure to shift the weight. "I merely wish you to be honest, with both me and yourself."

"We're not exactly talking about combat tactics anymore, are we?" Nora's purple-blue eyes caught the fathomless black of his own before looking away.

She exhaled slowly, willing her body to accept the pose Thane had set for her. Muscles easing, settling into the stance, she flexed slightly to test herself. Slightly unstable but otherwise ok, she hesitated a moment before nodding.

"Alright, so what do you want me to do?"

The warmth of his hand settled on her lower back and paused for a moment.

"I want you to stop pretending that you're more stable than you really are."

He pushed suddenly; surprisingly strong despite the way he applied pressure to the sensitive small of her back, so as to avoid injury. Nora had only a second to react, her hands catching her as her knees made contact with the floor.

"In the end such masks only weaken the whole. To embrace ones true self, to acknowledge pain and weakness, is the only means for growth. No one will think less of you for being who you are."

His voice was comforting as he offered her a hand up, fingers tracing the silvery lines that spider webbed across the backs of her hands, the tops of her fingers, "Scars and all."

From deep within her chest Nora felt a sudden shuddering as two jagged pieces of her heart fit together once more. The crack remained, never to ever truly heal, but there was now only a crack where once had been a chasm.

His touch lingered as he slowly released her, taking two measured steps backwards. "Try once more, Nora."

Slowly Nora moved back into the position he had shown her, bringing her elbow closer to her body, easing the muscles in her back just a fraction. But even as she once more settled into the stance she knew the result would be the same. Hesitating for a moment, her lips trembled the split second before she finally opened her mouth.

"I feel alone, desperately so."

Her hands clenched and unclenched, shaking slightly as she struggled to hold the pose, fighting internally with how to express the feelings that burned in her chest. Quickly, too quickly it seemed, the drugs seemed to lose their ability to numb.

"Everyone I knew has moved on or changed. And even though I've come to terms with the situation on some level, accepted that there are those who can no longer join me, there are others…"

She shuddered, blinking away the glossy sheen of tears.

"There are some who mean too much. I _can't_ do this without them; I need _them _even more than their abilities."

He stood behind her silently, his hands gently running over her, from her shoulders to her wrists, always moving as he adjusted her. Warm breath brushed the side of her neck as she continued to talk, smooth fingers brushing her nape as he eased the tension in her shoulders, her back.

"I want them to look at me and know that I trust them as much as they trust me. I want…" Forcing her eyes to meet his, she hesitated again, unsure of herself.

"What do you want, Nora?"

His hands made a final adjustment before he stood back, giving her one last critical look.

"I want_…"_

_Heartbroken but honest, strong in her own way…she was a woman to be admired._

Thane smiled softly as he put his hand on her lower back, and this time pushed harder than he had before. And yet, instead of falling as she had before, her body absorbed the blow and seemed almost better for it, her leg muscles bunching instinctually as she rotated, remaining upright.

Purple-blue eyes met black in stunned silence. "I didn't fall."

"No, you didn't."

He sounded pleased with her, not upset, not regretful. The pat on her back was friendly and not apologetic, the way he smiled at her not tinged with bitter failures and broken dreams. For once Nora found herself not lacking in anything, not missing the qualities that would have kept _him_ by her side, not missing memories of the two years they _should_ have spent together.

"You are much stronger than you believe, Nora." His voice was a soft rumble in her ear, the brush of his shoulder against her own a comfort that slowly sank into her bones.

She smiled wanly, her hands loosely clasped as she leaned against him. "I'm not so sure anymore."

His finger found the tip of her chin and drew her to face him. Slowly, warmly, he brushed the wet strands of hair from her face.

"Then I will have to prove it to you."


	7. Chapter 7: Betrayal

AN: Hello all :) Thank you for all the lovely reviews/faves/alerts it warms my heart to see so much support for this little project. I wanted to once again that the lovely Zepheera for her continued help in editing my work and making this journey increasingly more fun. As for the chapter itself I imagine that this marks the turning point so be sure to stick around and see what happens!

Thanks again and enjoy!

~Voi

As always I don't own anything your recognize.

* * *

"Commander, may I have a word?"

It was an hour before the estimated time of arrival at the Citadel and Nora found herself seated across from her XO in the spacious office occupied by the Cerberus agent.

"I assumed that was why you sent the message, Miranda."

"Indeed." The brunette turned to the data pad in front of her and studied the material that lay there, pausing for a moment before pushing it towards her commander.

"These are the results from the scans and questions you've answered as per your physical two months ago."

Nora looked down at the various graphs, data charts and numbers for a moment. Her expression was exasperated as she looked back up. "I'm not a scientist Miranda; this doesn't mean anything to me."

A momentary look of smugness passed over the other woman's face before it disappeared behind her usual business cool. "The data and tests show that despite our best efforts there was some irreparable damage to your brain, specifically the frontal lobe. This part of the brain is important in the storing and retrieving of long term memory, something which, given your condition, is imperative if we are to pick up where you left off two years ago."

"But those…questions you asked me. I answered nearly all of them faultlessly." Nora frowned; she had to be missing something. It was true that her memories of Garrus were damaged, and by the sound of it, irreparably so. But why would Miranda care about those?

"Scans show that your condition is more…delicate, that we anticipated."

"Are you telling me to avoid getting a concussion?" Nora couldn't stop the ironic smile that crept onto her lips "After Omega, Horizon and Illium you're just now coming to the conclusion that I should watch myself?"

"It's more than that, Commander." Miranda looked down at the data again and scrolled down to another set of numbers that meant something only to her. "If there's any more damage done to this area, there's a very good chance that your ability to _store_ memory will also be affected."

"I won't be able to remember decisions from one moment to the next?"

_Well that certainly sounded like a nightmare._

"It would be more correct to say that your oldest memories, the ones that make you… _you_… would be lost."

"Ah." Nora leaned back in her chair, "I take it the Illusive Man wasn't too happy when you told him all his money and time to rebuild me brought me back with a proverbial Achilles heel." She tapped her forehead, "He _had _stressed the importance of keeping my personality and moral compass the same, hadn't he?"

"Just be careful, Shepard." Miranda got up from her desk and moved towards the large bay window in her room, "Any extreme neurological attack could have _severe_ consequences, for both you and the mission. I've asked Mordin to find some way to fortify what memories you currently have, but it might be some time before that happens. In the meantime…just be careful…and don't piss off any Asari."

Knowing that she had yet to meet Samara, Nora merely smiled mockingly. Every time she spoke with Miranda she felt increasingly less human and more like a robot about to short circuit.

She hated it.

"No promises."

She walked out of the office a moment later, calling for Joker across the comm., she had an old friend to meet and she'd be damned if she waste any more time talking to Cerberus agents.

"Ready the shuttle. I'm going to talk to Anderson."

* * * * * * *

"The Citadel has not changed much since the last time I came here."

No matter how often she heard him speak, Nora thought that Thane's voice was altogether too sensual for its own good. He had a knack for talking about the mundane in a way that made it exciting, interesting and seemed to genuinely enjoy sharing information.

Turning to look at him, she noted the way his hand strayed absently inside his coat before coming to rest on his leg. Nora had decided to wear a lighter hardsuit when she had seen the rather battered state of her armor. Jacob promised to have it patched up, but one evening was hardly enough time for a complete overhaul of a well loved combat suit.

She smiled as she recalled his surprise when she had handed over the scratched and dented disks, shoulder pads and gauntlets. Nora couldn't remember the last time Jacob had looked so determined and so enthused.

He was a good soldier, Jacob. Solid and dependable, Nora had found herself checking in with him often, sometimes just to share stories, other times to learn about the new weapons systems that had developed in her two year stint as dead body.

Smiling faintly, Nora caught a glimpse of familiar apartment buildings amidst the newer complexes in the outer residential zones.

"I wish I could say the same. It's been… quite a while since I've been back."

The shuttle slowed to allow the visitors to disembark.

"Shall we get going, Nora?"

She stepped out of the shuttle and into the brightly lit courtyard, Thane standing just to her left. There were C-sec agents everywhere.

"Security was this tight when you visited?"

There was a ghost of a smile on his face as he nodded.

"It didn't stop you at all did it?"

Purple-blue eyes met his in amusement, lost a moment later as she slowly proceeded through the throng of eager visitors, tourists and wandering sales merchants. Thane caught up with her just as she made it to the security checkpoint at the end of the entrance hall.

Perpendicular beams of light scanned her for a moment before flickering out, a dull 'negative' noise sounding from the security guards console.

"Sorry for the inconvenience ma'am. Our scanners are picking up false readings. They seem to think you're, ah, dead."

The turian guard shifted his weight, mandibles moving in what Shepard recognized as embarrassment.

Nora merely smiled, concocting a neat little lie that would allow her to pass through. She doubted the Alliance would be thrilled if she suddenly showed up, and no doubt Cerberus benefited well enough from her current 'undead' status.

"I was listed as missing in action a couple years ago."

The guard nodded, still too embarrassed to mumble more than an apology.

"Would you mind checking with my Captain? He can reinstate you in our system."

* * * * * * *

"Nora." She heard Thane's voice murmuring softly in her ear as they exited their second cab, walking easily through the Presidium.

She turned her head slightly, listening, knowing that she was making Anderson wait. Intuition told her ex-captain wouldn't be alone, and she was in no rush to speak to the Council either.

If two years had done nothing to change them, then what were a couple extra minutes? And if they had changed, then they would forgive the delay.

"Yes Thane?" her response was pitched just as low, unwilling to draw attention to their conversation as they entered the embassy.

"I merely wished to tell you that though I know very little about what happened last time, I hope that you continue to act as you did back then."

"Oh?"

"You know as well as I that the Council will not look favorably on your relations with Cerberus. And if they continue to hold to the story they have been projecting for the past two years it is likely they will be hesitant in coming to your aid."

"So this entire meeting is a waste of time?"

He shook his head, his voice a soft whisper, heard only to her. "It seems to me that despite their outward attitude, the Council will be very much concerned about you, the quarry you hunt and your mission."

Holding up a hand to stall her retort he continued.

"I do not believe they will be pleased, but should they extend even the smallest bit of aid, I wish to point out that it is because you are of great importance to them. If you were any less, it is likely they would do nothing at all."

"Well you certainly know how to look on the bright side of things don't you?"

"There was a time when I faced a similar decision, Siha. I merely wished to help you if I could."

"Siha?" Nora smiled despite her confusion, "What does that mean?"

Thane merely shook his head, enigmatic smile once more in place. "I will tell you later, I promise."

"After this meeting is over?"

His smile widened ever so slightly, "That _is_ a possibility."

Nora smiled as she stepped through the entrance, "I'll hold you to it."

And then she was staring face to face with the man who had once been her captain, and would forever have her respect.

"Oh Commander, we were just talking about you."

She smiled as she grasped the man's hand, "It's been a long time Anderson. I hope the past couple of years have treated you right.

"There have been some rough spots." The human councilor admitted, "Still, It's good to have you back."

"We've heard many rumors concerning your unexpected return." The voice of the Salarian Council member drew Nora's attention to the projection of the three council members. "Some of them are…unsettling."

"We have called this meeting so you could explain your actions, Shepard. We owe you that much." The Asari council member was as moderate as Nora remembered, keeping in check her other counterparts. "After all, you saved our lives in the battle against Saren and his geth."

"The Collectors are abducting human colonists in the Terminus Systems. Worse, we think they're working for the Reapers."

"The Terminus systems are beyond our jurisdiction." The Turian councilor hadn't aged a day since their last conversation, his responses as brusque and dismissive as she remembered. "Your colonists knew this when they left council space."

"You're missing the important part Councilor. The Reapers _are_ involved."

"Ah yes, 'Reapers.'"

Nora would have smiled at the turian councilors use of air quotes had she some privacy. As it was, smiling, or laughing as she was very much inclined, seemed more disrespectful given her current company.

"We have dismissed that claim."

Any semblance of a smile left her face, "What?"

It was Anderson who explained. "No one else has encountered the hologram on Illos that told you the truth about the Reapers. Only you and your crew ever spoke to Sovereign." He looked apologetic, "I believe you. But without any other source…the others think Saren was behind the geth attacks."

"Then go back to Illos and talk to Vigil, or study what's left of Sovereign. It's _obvious_ that the technology is more advanced than ours!"

"The hologram on Illos is no longer functional, and we have found nothing to suggest that Sovereign was _not_ a geth creation."

The Salarian councilor deferred to the Asari Matriarch, after a moment, doing his best under the circumstances to explain their position. "The geth are capable of incredible technological achievements. This is probably why Saren recruited them."

Of course, the verbal attack would come from none other than the Turian Councilmember, his voice harsh as he pointed at her. "This Reaper theory just proves how fragile your mental state really is. You have been manipulated…by Cerberus and before them, Saren."

After two years it seemed as if the clock had moved backwards, all progress lost.

"I kept Saren from conquering the Citadel." Nora couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I sacrificed _human_ lives to save this Council."

"You've put us in a difficult position, Shepard. You are working for Cerberus – an avowed enemy of the Council. This is treason, a capital offence."

"That's too far!" Anderson strode forward, his expression hard as he looked at his fellow Council members, "Shepard is a hero. I'm on this Council too, and I won't let this white wash continue."

"Then maybe there can be a compromise." The Asari raised her hands in a gesture of peace. "Not a public acknowledgement, given your ties, but something to give you peripheral support."

"If you keep a low profile, and restrict your operations to the Terminus systems, the Council is willing to reinstate your status as a Spectre."

The silence after the final comment was tense; Nora struggled to fight down her anger and indignation as she turned towards Anderson.

Despite everything she had done, all the sacrifices she had made, the people she had lost, the _life_ she had given for the Council… she was going to have to twist their arm just to get her Spectre status 'renewed'?

There was a bitterness that made speaking near impossible.

How _dare_ they act like they were doing her a favor?

"Nora."

Thane was still by her side, quietly reminding her of their earlier conversation and his foresight that such a situation would ensue.

Unable to help herself, Nora chuckled before turning back to the Council. Her expression adjusting appropriately as she stepped forward and raised her voice to accept what small help the Council was willing to provide. Thane had a point, and Nora was very much aware of how few allies she had to call on for such a momentous task.

"I accept the Council's offer. It's good to have the Council on my side."

The three holograms nodded stiffly.

"Good luck with your investigation Shepard. We hope for a quick resolution, and a quick end to your relationship with Cerberus." The holograms flickered and disappeared.

_That_ at least was a sentiment that they shared.

She gave Thane a pointed look before turning to listen as Anderson spoke, his shoulders sagging in visible relief.

"That went better than expected." He strode to the balcony overlooking the Presidium and sighed, "Though…you realize the Council's offer is just symbolic. They won't actually _do_ anything."

Nora smiled, "I figured as much. But I might as well stay on good terms."

"True enough," Anderson grinned at her, before turning to the vista before him. "I don't want you worrying about the Council or the Alliance. I'll find some way to keep them off your back. It shouldn't be too hard if you keep the Terminus Systems but-"

The door to his office slid open, revealed a, very characteristically, disgruntled Udina.

"Anderson, we need to talk about – Shepard! What are _you_ doing here?"

"Oh you know me…was in the neighborhood and thought I'd see how Anderson was doing." Nora grinned shamelessly, "Though I guess I could have visited you too if you're feeling left out."

Anderson smothered his smile with the back of his hand, "Shepard is here on my invitation to speak to the Council. We just finished our meeting."

"You _what_?!" Udina's face went both pale and brilliant mauve all at once, creating the strangest mottled expression Nora had ever seen. "Do the words 'political shit-storm' mean anything to you?"

The woman shrugged. "Not really. But the Council didn't do much, just reinstated my Spectre status. They're just happy I'm staying out in the Terminus system."

"Yes…" Udina agreed haltingly, "I could see how that arrangement would benefit both sides. Still, you really shouldn't have taken a step like this without consulting me first, _Councilor_._"_

Shaking his head, Anderson looked down from his impressive height at the older man. "I don't answer to you, Udina. Why don't you go back to your office and think about that for a while?"

"Of course, Councilor," Udina smiled unpleasantly, "Good day, to both of you."

Anderson apologized the moment the man had left the room, but there was little to be said. Udina did have his uses navigating the Citadel bureaucracy, and they both knew they would be fools to ignore that.

"Besides, he always attends those formal diplomatic dinners I can be bothered with." Anderson smiled faintly. "This wasn't how I planned to spend my twilight years. Sometimes it feels like I'm beating my head against a wall. Knowing the truth about Sovereign is brutal, nightmare stuff. I can't blame others for not wanting to believe it."

He sighed as he turned once more to the balcony, leaning against the railing. "I know how important it is, so I keep trying. Fighting the good fight, right?"

Nora smiled for a moment before it faded, "I met Kaiden on Horizon. He said he was looking into Cerberus."

"I know. I approved the mission. We had to find out if they were behind the missing colonists." He turned to look at her. "I couldn't tell anyone without compromising the investigation. I'm sorry."

Nora frowned at him, pointing her finger accusingly. "I thought we were _friends_. I never thought _you_ would go behind my back."

"We didn't know about you at the time. And I wouldn't have told you if we did. What if the Illusive man was manipulating you? Lying to you?"

She felt the anger slip away slowly.

"The report actually confirmed your story. I still don't trust Cerberus, but they were right about the Collectors abducting the colonists. Unfortunately, Alenko didn't find anything to convince the Council that the Reapers were behind this…or that they even exist. I'm sorry, Shepard."

Nora shrugged, "At least you tried. In any case, I have to get going."

Anderson nodded, shaking her hand one more time. "Just do me a favor, Shepard."

The woman smiled, "Sure, what's on your mind, Anderson?"

"Just…take care. Don't trust Cerberus."

She grinned, "As if I need to be told twice."

* * * * * * *

Her comm crackled to life the moment she left the Anderson's office. "Commander, I… … ah… have a bit of bad news."

Nora was only half listening as she watched Thane put in the request for the shuttle that would bring them back to the Normandy. Her mind immediately centering on the promise he had made.

"Yes Joker, what is it?"

Watching green hands flying over the keys of the terminal, Thane was only one short click away from finishing when the message came though.

"I just found out from EDI, Garrus and Jack left about an hour ago headed for the lower Zakera wards...and if the security cams are anything to go by, they were armed to the teeth."

_"What?" _She felt as if she had been slammed against a wall.

"I think they were looking for trouble…and by chatter on the radio it sounds like they found it."

Nora closed her eyes as she processed the information, willing away the sharp stabbing betrayal that seemed to gouge at her chest.

"Understood. Stand by for further instruction, Joker." Nora turned towards the drell who had now stopped to watch her. She tried to smile but couldn't.

"Thane, you go back to the Normandy. I'll catch up."

There was a hesitation, but he nodded eventually.

"As you wish, Siha."

Touching her cheek gently he coaxed a smile, albeit a small tremultuous one.

"Don't think this gets you out of tell me what 'Siha' means when I get back."

Thane didn't have a chance to respond as she turned, her small, lightly armored body disappearing in the crowded streets. But as he caught the look of determination on her face, the drell couldn't help but smile at the picture she made.

"Amonkira guide you, Siha."

* * * * * * *

He hoped his contact was right.

Garrus Vakarian, former-C Sec officer and now vigilante walked into the small warehouse just inside the lower Zakera wards. Large crates dotted the room, but there were few people around. It was the perfect place to hide, and Garrus was hoping to find the man who made it his job to help others disappear.

"I'm looking for Fade."

The two heavily armed krogan who had been lounging around the room shifted to their feet, large hands pulling heavy shotguns from their backs. Mercenaries by the looks of them, Garrus didn't think they would cause much of a problem, but it would be better to play cautiously. Beside him, Jack growled low, her hands clenching as she readied her biotics.

"Ah, that would be me."

Strange, but Fade's voice sounded congested, as if he was speaking through a stuffed noise. This was followed by the sudden whirring noise of a respirator. Neither of the Krogan had spoken so it took a long moment before Garrus had the wherewithal to look _down_.

He nearly snorted in amusement when he did.

_Fade was a Volus?_

Garrus didn't know whether to find the fact ingenious or entirely ridiculous.

"Which one of you wants to disappear?"

"I'd rather see you make someone reappear." Fade had helped Sidonis vanish after the massacre on Omega, in his mind it was as if Fade himself had helped with the murder of his men. Garrus tried to keep the anger from his voice, but failed spectacularly.

"Ah…that's not the service we provide."

Garrus found a grim sort of satisfaction that came with the refusal; an excitement that came with the knowledge that nothing less than force would draw the appropriate answers. His pistol was out and in his hands as he responded, mockingly, because he knew it would change nothing.

"Make an exception. Just this once."

The volus swore, as the gun leveled with his face "Shoot them! Shoot them you lumbering mountains!"

The krogan mercenaries moved respond to their orders, but before either could even lift their there was a jarring explosion of biotic power and the sharp crackle of shotgun shells hitting their target. The very walls around them seemed to vibrate with the tension that was staring them so directly in the face. Picking himself up from the floor, Garrus turned to find himself face to face with his commander.

"Vakarian, I should kill you myself!"

Standing amidst the corpses, her armor streaked with blood, she looked some sort of beautiful warrior goddess.

Part of him swore viciously that she had managed to catch up so quickly, the other felt a deep rush of shame as he caught the anger in her tone.

_He would have said, done, anything to prevent her from finding out about this personal mission._

A small fist clipped the bottom of his jaw not a moment later, startling him more than actually causing him any harm.

"Damn you, Garrus!"

Her expression was one of fury, her strange eyes flickering with too many emotions, the foremost of which was barely restrained rage. Despite her diminutive size, the amount of biotic power that was leaking from her trembling body seemed large enough to swallow half the room.

"Shepard."

Jack appeared on the corners of her peripheral vision but the woman paid her no attention.

"Shepard…your L5."

"Shut _up_, Jack." Nora growled, her eyes never leaving the turian. Still, she managed well enough to draw the edges of her biotics a little closer to her body.

"You sure as hell better have a good explanation as to why I had to find out about this little day trip through EDI and not from you."

Her hands were fisted at her side, clenched still from when she had tried to punch him. Every muscle in her body seemed tensed for a fight.

The fact that he could _see_ the muscles beneath her armor made him angry. The lighter armor was skin tight and only had a few ceramic plates over her vitals. An infiltrators'' armor, it was built for mobility and stealth. What she, as a vanguard, was doing wearing such unsuitable armor was unthinkable, bordering on stupid.

"Shepard."

She ignored him, too upset to hear what he had to say.

"You've always said you were a bad turian, Garrus. But damn it, even _human_ officers report to their commanders when something like this comes up. If this is about Sidonis than why didn't you-"  
"Jack." Nora suddenly barked the younger woman's name, as their target tried to quietly turn and leave.

A biotic cage materialized around the terrified volus, drawing a smirk from the younger woman as she sauntered closer to the creature who had begun to squeak in fear.

"Want me to shut him up?"

Nora didn't doubt that Jack meant _permanently, _"That won't be necessary."

Purple-blue eyes watched silently as Garrus walked past, moving until he was kneeling right beside the volus. He may not be happy with her, but he couldn't let Fade get away, not now.

The cage disappeared in the same moment he began to speak.

"We're looking for someone. A client of yours…"

"N-not mine. I'm not Fade. I just work for him. Sort of."

Nora remained silent as she continued to watch Garrus, wondering if he knew just how well she could read him. She felt her anger abate slightly as she took in the taunt set of his shoulders, the uncharacteristically harsh quality of his voice.

"Well then maybe you'd like to tell us where to find him." Garrus brushed the weapon at his side in warning.

"Yes. Of course." The volus was much more cooperative now with his life hanging in the balance, "He's in the factory district, works out of the old prefab foundry."

Garrus nodded, "I know the place."

"Uh…he's got a lot of mercs there…Blue Suns. Harkin thinks they're protecting him."

"Harkin?"

There was a mutual tone of distain in both Garrus and Nora's voices. The C-sec officer had been less than sober the first time they had found him, and the human had found Nora pretty enough to hit on despite her firm discouragement. It had taken a carefully aimed warning shot to prove Nora was serious when she said 'no'.

"He got fired from C-sec a while ago. But he still knows the systems."

"Interesting. But it changes nothing." Garrus straightened to his full height and turned to her, his expression shuttered.

He still wished she hadn't come along.

"We still need to find him before we can get to Sidonis."

Nora turned towards the door, "Then let's go pay Harkin a visit."

Garrus hesitated. "Shepard…"

"If this is about my armor, I don't want to hear it." Her purple-blue eyes dared him to disagree, "For our purposes it's going to have to do."

She was out the door of the door before he could stop her.

"I'm coming with you."

* * * * * * *

They arrived at the old factory within minutes, their cab setting them down just outside the door. Their quarry was standing there ordering mercenaries about when they landed.

Smiling coldly, Nora approached, mindful of Garrus as they drew closer. This was a personal mission, and she didn't doubt that it could change the way he acted.

Harkin recognized them the instant they cleared the first blockade.

"Shepard?!" The balding man looked first at her and then the turian over her shoulder, visibly blanching as recognition flooded his senses. "Vakarian."

Turning in fear the man stumbled as he issued orders; disappearing into the factory behind a hail of gun fire.

"Don't just stand there…stop them. Stop them!"

Nora ducked under cover the moment the order had been given, pulling the shotgun from the holster on her lower back. Adjusting the calibration and checking the number of clips left, she had not yet readied the necessary biotic power when Garrus' hand descended on her shoulder, stopping her short.

"Don't you dare."

Hand firm, his expression was severe as he looked at her through the dust and noise. And though she knew he was most certainly closer to her age than the others, that didn't mean she didn't feel like a child in that moment.

Frowning slightly, Nora readied herself for an argument when a plume of flame filled the space over Garrus' shoulder.

Swearing, she grabbed him under the arms and pulled sharply, dragging him across her body, to the protected space by the wall.

He was almost too heavy to manage, but as he recognized what she was doing, their combined efforts got him to safety well enough.

"Well that was close."

She smiled, a little breathless but pleased with the last minute rescue. Garrus too seemed to savor the moment before nodding towards where Jack was finishing off the last mercenary.

A few mumbled curses later, Jack's voice rang through the now silent landing pad, her tone a mix of smug amusement and annoyance.

"You coming, slackers or do I have to do all the fighting myself?"

* * * * * * *

By the time they arrived at the small shipping office in the middle of the factory, all trace of humor was gone, lost in the tense firefights and skirmishes that had taken far too much time and ammunition. Nora had used all remaining clips for her assault rifle, leaving her only options either her pistol or shotgun. Neither was going to make the next part of their mission easy.

Jack and Garrus were not much better, the former relying almost entirely on her biotic abilities so as to conserve what rounds they had.

Garrus had lapsed into silence, his body wound tightly as he moved restlessly around the small room.

Brushing past him to check the terminals for information, Nora found nothing in the scrolling lines of information. Still, she managed to open the security panel over the large observation window, giving them a view of their next battlefield.

She felt, rather than saw, Garrus' temper spike.

"So Harkin's finally gone completely bad."

Nora spoke softly as she stood next to him, waiting patiently as he stared out the window, his eyes moving carefully back and forth.

"He was always a pain in the ass." Voice rough in anger, he looked at her for a moment before once more facing the window, "But I'm in no mood for games. If he doesn't cooperate I'll beat him within an inch of his life."

Hearing the words, Nora couldn't help the way her hand found his forearm, drawing his attention once more from the window.

"Garrus..."

"Harkin may know why Sidonis wanted to disappear. If so, he knows why we're here, and I don't want him tipping Sidonis off."

There was bitterness in his tone, the lingering betrayal of a friend still hurting long after the bridges had burned.

"I just-"

Something moved outside, nothing more than a flash of white against the grey.

Moving instinctively, Garrus pushed his commander under cover, securing her against the wall before joining her.

"Did you see that?"

Nora nodded, "I saw something."

"He's getting ready for us."

"You still plan on killing Sidonis when we find him?" Nora was beginning to think that letting him exact his revenge would do more to damage him than actually fix the pain he was harboring. The turian in front of her, tense and angry was not who she remembered, though it would be a lie to say she cared for him any less than she had before.

"That's the plan." He turned to look at her, his blue eyes assessing the expression on her face. "It'll be quick and painless. Unlike everyone he betrayed, he will be spared the agony of a slow death. So long as he's dead, I'll be satisfied."

"Garrus, do you really think killing Sidonis will make things right?"

"I know you don't like it," He answered perceptively, "But I'll pull the trigger and I'll live with the consequences. All I'm asking is that you help me find him."

"We won't catch him waiting here." Jack cut in, eying the very intimate space between commander and turian crewmate. "Unless you'd rather we ask for a rain check?"

Nora pushed herself up from the floor, the smile she directed at Jack slightly exasperated, "Anxious are we?"

The young biotic shrugged, "Not really. Just bored."

Shaking her head, Nora turned to offer Garrus a hand up. "Let's go then."

Garrus almost managed a smile as he took Nora's hand, "Right behind you, Commander."

* * * * * * *

Nora winced a little as they finished the last of the two LOKI mechs Harkin had sent after them. She smelled like robot fluid and the entire left side of her body ached from a poorly executed dive under cover. There was nothing like a missile to make you forget basic training and go running for the hills.

Groaning, Nora worked the kinks out of her shoulder, and took inventory of her two crewmembers. Neither looked particularly pleased, but they were alive. For now, that was all she could ask for.

Harking was waiting for them in the next room, and this time there was nowhere he could run.

Garrus seemed even more on edge than before, and more than once he had disappeared only to appear a moment later.

He vanished the second they walked into the executive offices, leaving Nora to confront Harkin with only Jack at her side.

_Where was he?_

Harkin smiled nastily as Nora drew near, "You were close…" He began to move towards the far door, "but not close enou-"

The sound of Garru's weapon impacting the man's face cut off any semblance of conversation, leaving only the uncomfortable sound of breaking bone.

_So that was why he had disappeared…_

Harkin held his nose as blood began to slowly ooze out of it, the deep ruby liquid smearing across his hands as he tried to staunch the bleeding. Not that Garrus gave him time to recover. Watching as Garrus threw the man against the wall, pinning him with a single hand, Nora was suddenly aware of her companion's very alien strength.

"So… Fade. Couldn't make yourself disappear, huh?"

There was more than just a touch of malice in Garrus' voice. Nora almost didn't recognize it.

"Come on, Garrus – we can work this out. Whaddaya need?"

Her friend hesitated for a moment, pulling back.

"I'm looking for someone."

A greasy smile made its way across the other man's face. "Well, I guess we both have something the other one wants."

Garrus disagreed, his not inconsiderable strength enabling him to send the human to the ground with a carefully aimed blow to the stomach.

Nora felt the back of her neck prickle uncomfortably, "We're not here to ask favors, Harkin."

The man mocked her. "You don't say?"

Growling low, Garrus stepped in front of her, capturing Harkin's attention with ease. "You helped a friend of mine disappear. I need to find him."

"I might need a little more information than that."

"His name was Sidonis. Turian, came from the-"

"I know who he is," Harkin snorted contemptuously, "I'm not telling you squat. I don't give out client information, it's bad for business."

Garrus moved before Nora could make heads or tails of what was going on, slamming the ex-security officer against the wall again before pinning him to the floor, one large foot coming to rest on Harkin's delicate human neck.

"You know what else is bad for business?" Garrus seemed to almost smile as he stared down at Harkin's writhing body, "A broken neck."

He seemed to push down just a little, exerting increasingly more pressure until Harkin's gurgling acceptance of their terms managed to make it into the air. Even then, it took Nora's hand on his arm before Garrus took his foot away.

Coughing and gasping, Harkin rolled upright. "Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus?"

"No but… Sidonis opened my eyes. Now arrange a meeting."

Staggering to his feet, the ex C-Sec officer made his way to the nearby terminal, his expression guarded as he gave one last look at the angry turian standing before him.

Within moments he had established a connection.

All the while, Nora couldn't take her eyes off Garrus, the one she trusted, the one who was worrying her now. Blue eyes checking the finger mechanics of his pistol, there was intensity, and volatile excitement that seemed to simmer just below the surface.

"Yeah, I'm sending over an agent. Where do you want to meet?"

Garrus' hand flexed slowly as Harkin approached, his head swinging slowly towards the man, a predator observing his prey.

"It's all good," Harkin eyed the turian but spoke to Shepard, "He wants to meet you in front of orbital lounge, middle of the day."

Shuffling suddenly, he glanced as Garrus, "So… if our business is done… I'll just get going… "

Garrus' had pulled Harkin up by the front of his coverall before he even finished.

"I don't think so. You're a criminal now, Harkin.

"So what… you're just going to kill me?" the man scoffed, "That's not your style Garrus."

"Kill you?" Garrus shook his head, shoving Harkin backwards as he drew his pistol, "No. But I don't mind slowing you down a little."

Nora lunged to stop him, gasping sharply as she was roughly shoved backwards. Still, she hung on to his arm, and though he eventually relented, the anger on his face lingered.

"You don't need to shoot him. He won't be able to hide from C-Sec now."

Garrus seemed to pause before turning to Harkin, "I guess it's your lucky day."

As Nora turned to go, she heard Harkin give some sort of sarcastic reply, and though she was too slow in turning around to find out why Harkin groaned in pain, Garrus was at her side a moment later, his expression shuttered.

"I didn't shoot him."

Nora couldn't muster a smile, merely looked at him worriedly.

"Garrus..."

He didn't meet her gaze.

"Sidonis better be there, or I'm coming back to finish the job."

* * * * * * *

They had fallen into silence on their way to the lounge; the air in the cab thickening with tension the longer the ride seemed to take. There were too many unspoken protests, too many concerns left unsaid. In the end, it was Garrus who broke the silence just as the shuttle came to rest.

"Harkin's a bloody menace." He spoke softly at first though his voice was rough with anger. "We shouldn't have just let him go. He deserved to be punished."

"I'm worried about you, Garrus." Nora couldn't stop the words any more than she could hide her concern. "You were pretty harsh on Harkin."

Brilliant blue eyes met her own.

"You don't think he deserved it?"

Nora hesitated before shaking her head, "It's just not like you."

She missed the flash of pain that crossed his face, lost as he turned to look out the window. His hands curled into fists in his lap. "What would you have me do, Shepard? What would you do if someone betrayed you?"

Watching him for a long time, she answered as honestly as she could, "I'm not sure. But I wouldn't let it changed me.

"I would have said the same thing before it happened to me."

"It's not too late;" She pleaded with him, "You don't have to go through with this."

"Who's going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?" His voice was ragged, "Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else _cares_."

"Let me talk to him." Nora found the strength to keep her voice firm.

"Talk all you want, but it won't change my mind." He grew quieter, his voice a deep rumble that belied his rage, his anger. "I don't care _what_ his reasons were. He screwed us… he deserves to die."

"Garrus…"

"I appreciate your concern, Shepard. But I'm not you." He ran a hand along the tapered barrel of his rifle. The smallest finger was curled ever so slightly. Nora looked up from his hand, a memory tugging at the edges of her mind.

"This isn't you either."

"Really?" His cynicism was something for which Nora had neither memory nor recollection and yet it sounded wrong. _He hadn't been like this before. _

"I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this…" He laughed slightly, the sound frighteningly cruel despite its brevity. "Why should he keep on living when ten good men lie in unmarked graves?"

He looked at her shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. Words aren't going to solve this problem."

Pulling his weapon onto his lap he gestured to a balcony overlooking the lounge. "I can get a shot from over there. You wave him over and keep him talking. Give me a sign when you're ready and I'll take the shot."

He didn't look at her as he exited the car. And though Jack watched her commander not a word was said.

And in the quickly shrinking silence Nora sought desperately for a way to prevent this one death and save the man who would _always_ be her best friend.

* * * * * * *

_"Wave him over and keep him talking."_

Those were his instructions over the com, rasping softly in her ear as she walked through the busy courtyard.

_Sidonis…_

Her eyes fell on the lone turian seated on a bench, his clothing a careful combination that no doubt served to help him blend into the background. She motioned him forward the moment he looked up and saw her.

"Let's get this over with."

Only slightly taller than her, Sidonis was rather short for a turian. Given that Garrus was seated behind her staring through a scope, the odds seemed suddenly in her favor.

As if he had read her mind, Garrus' voice was in her ear once more.

_"You're in my shot. Move to the side."_

Funny, but if she closed her eyes she could almost see the look of impatience on his face. _This_ at least was familiar.

"Listen, Sidonis. I'm here to help you."

The turian suddenly looked anxious, wary as he scanned the crowd around them. His hand gripped her shoulder momentarily, "Don't ever say that name aloud!"

"I'm a friend of Garrus'. He wants you dead. But I'm hoping that's not necessary."

"Garrus?" Sidonis looked startled, "is this some kind of joke?"

Her comm crackled to life again, Garrus' voice coming across angrily.

_"Damn it, Shepard. If he moves I'm taking the shot."_

"You're not kidding are you?" The turian took a step back, "Screw this. I'm not sticking around here to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems."

He turned to leave.

"_Don't_ _move_!" Nora all but growled at him as she hauled him backwards.

She reached out to stop him, her hand moving unerringly to grip the delicate bend of his arm. Experience had taught her that turians were easier to grab there as opposed to their thicker, plated, forearms; Nora found very little trouble in pulling the frightened turian back into her own sphere of protective influence despite his struggles.

"Get off me!"

Nora looked him in the eye, daring him to disobey her order.

"I am the _only_ thing standing between _you_ and a hole in the head."

By the looks of it Sidonis seemed to get the message.

"Look… I didn't want to do it… but I didn't have a choice."

_"Everyone has a choice." _Garrus was snarling, his anger palpable through their connection.

"They got to me. Told me they'd kill me if I didn't help…what was I supposed to do?"

_"Let me take the shot, Shepard. He's a damn coward." _

It was the tremor in his voice that gave it away.

He had asked for permission to take the shot... couldn't take it unless she agreed.

And that was when she _knew_ why he hadn't wanted her along. She would have smiled if the realization hadn't all but knocked the air from her lungs, Nora felt as if her heart shuddered in her chest.

She had been right after all, he hadn't changed. Not truly, not where it mattered.

_He wouldn't take the shot with her in the way, no matter how badly he wanted the shot. _

Nora smiled as she followed Sidonis towards a set of benches, listening to Garrus curse in the background.

_He wouldn't do it. And because he wouldn't there was a chance she could save Sidonis and Garrus both. _

"I know what I did. I know they died because of me. I have to live with that." The turian ran a hand over his eyes as if to wipe away nightmarish visions. "I wake up every night… sick… and sweating. Each of their faces staring at me… accusing me…" Sidonis sighed, "I'm already a dead man. I don't eat. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over."

_"Just give me the chance."_

Nora turned towards where Garrus was perched, her strange colored eyes piercing the space between them.

"You've got to let it go, Garrus. He's already paying for his crime."

"_He hasn't paid enough. He still has his life." _

"Look at him Garrus; he's not alive… not really." Nora gestured to the turian behind her, willing her friend to stop, "There's nothing left to kill."

_"My men. They deserved better."_

There was a long silence after that, unbroken until Sidonis chose to break it.

"Tell Garrus…" the turian sighed, "I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right…"

_"Just… go. Tell him to go."_

There was no relief in the order, only restrained anger where there should have been acceptance or contentedness.

_But he hadn't shot, hadn't lowered himself to murdering, changing who he was to accomplish an objective. _

It was only when Sidonis disappeared into the bustling crowd headed towards the Presidium that Nora turned to return to their cab.

He was waiting for her.

"I know you want to talk about this…but I don't. Not yet."

Nora hesitated as she saw the flash of temper in his eyes.

"It didn't go the way you planned," she said, "But I think it's for the best."

He shook his head, moving restlessly back and forth, "I can't talk about this right now." His voice was clipped in anger, his fists still clenched, "I _know_ what you're going to say… and I just… _can't._"

He _growled _at her.

"Alright," Nora had gone nearly silent at his reaction, "We'll discuss this later."

Garrus gave her a look before turning towards the cab.

"Later would be good."

* * * * * * *

"Good evening, Siha."

Nora had not done more than step through the door when he greeted her. She smiled tiredly, pleased that he should be expecting her.

"I had wondered if you were sleeping, but it seems not."

"No," he shook his head, "Not yet."

"Thank you for coming with me to see my old captain, and then listening to my orders when I gave them."

"It was no hardship, Siha, I am yours to command."

"You did promise to tell me what 'Siha' meant when I got back here."

She stood next to his desk, smiling softly as she rested her crossed her arms around her middle. Exhausted, everything about her suggested she should have gone to bed instead of seek him out.

When he told her as much the smile on her face turned sad, her eyes focusing suddenly on the floor.

"Do you wish to speak of it?"

"It's… no…" she shook her head, "It's too personal… maybe… later?"

He nodded slowly, watching as the she swayed a little on her feet. She looked so young, dressed in her standard issue uniform half asleep and bleary eyed. He was not that much older than she was, but seeing her like this made him wonder how someone so young could shoulder so much responsibility. Their mission loomed ominously on the horizon and only this small human woman had the means to inspire strength and dedication, to be Nike herself, the goddess of victory against terrible odds.

But not now; not _this_ night.

_Tonight she needed a shoulder to cry on, a friend she could trust. _

Thane wasn't exactly sure he could be that person. Not after failing those that were so close to him. And yet, nothing would let him turn her away.

"Nora, come here."

He gestured to the chair next to him, and found her curled up at his side not a moment later, her head tucked against his chest.

Peering down at her, he found her expression serious, void of the pain that had made her hesitate, replaced instead with a contemplative demeanor.

_Someone to give her shelter from the storm, the one that raged within and from without..._

Absently he began to gently stoke her hair, running his fingers though the short tresses in a languid, mindless motion. Soft and warm, she smelled of soap and clean clothing, the silken texture of her hair a contrast to the callused skin of his hands.

_He wasn't the one she needed, but he could keep her safe. _

They remained like that for a long time until Thane realized that she had fallen asleep, her eyes closed, her dark lashes dusting the tops of her cheeks. It was only when she began to snore softly that Thane had the heart to disturb her.

"Go to bed, Siha."

Exasperated and yet unable to hide his amusement, the corners of his lips lifted in a smile as he gently shook her awake.

"You still haven't told me what 'Siha' means." She mumbled softly as she slowly pulled out of his embrace temporarily roused from slumber, "Part of me wonders if you don't carefully plan our conversations before hand and work to avoid the question."

The look he gave her then was characteristically enigmatic as he gently coaxed her towards the door, "You give me far too much credit, Siha. But I will answer the question eventually."

"'Eventually'?" Nora smiled, "That's terribly specific of you."

"It is all I will say for now. It is late and you are not in bed as you should be."

"Oh alright…"

She smiled one last time before the door slid shut, plunging the room into darkness.

"Goodnight, Thane."

And though her voice lingered, Thane was already miles away, lost in his memories, of Shepard and of _her. _

_Both beautiful in their own way, precious and beloved, the two women could not have been more different. And yet for all of their differences they shared a single commonality. _

He smiled a little at the irony, experiencing the brush of warm wind against his skin, the feel of her hand in his, the press of her head against his chest. These sensations were lost a moment later as he recalled the way Garrus had arrived back on the Normandy, their much smaller Commander in tow.

_His shoulders are set in anger, tension. He does not wish to look at her, but he does anyway, pretending to put his weapon away he lingers, watches as she unclips her own and wipes the sweat from her face. Hesitating he moves forward to speak but she turns, her expression shuttered as she glances over her shoulder, hurt, betrayed. Guilt weighs on him forcing him backwards but the depth of his longing keeps him lingering in the doorway._

_It was all there in the way he looked at her_, Thane thought as he gazed up at the ceiling, once more back in reality. The terrible blend of longing, of loss, he'd experienced them recently enough himself to recognize a man in love.

_Sunset eyes closed forever, her chest no longer rises with breath, her heart beats no longer and he knows his own will surely break without her. _

_Irikah. _

_Gone forever, committed to the deep. _

"She is not dead to you yet." Thane whispered into the darkness, to the turian who slept alone. There was no way he would be heard, but he speaks aloud, unable to help himself. And as he begins to lose himself to another memory he speaks to the woman who reminds him so much of his wife, "No matter what you believe, Siha, he loves you still."


	8. Chapter 8: Loyalty

AN: Hello everyone! Sorry for the wait - real life took me for a bit of a ride these past couple of weeks, so I've only just finished this chapter. I hope you can forgive my delay and enjoy reading what I have here for you :) As always, much thanks to the lovely **Zepheera** for her continued edits, without whom my work would be a mess!

Hope you enjoy - and feel free to express your opinion, creative criticism is always helpful!

~Voi

* * *

_Carrots, beans, rice…_

Nora smiled whimsically as she moved through the crowded halls of the Zakera Ward, once more dressed in civilian clothing. Jacob was still working on her heavy armor, and she hadn't the heart to rush him when there was no need.

Grocery shopping was, admittedly, the most benign mission she had accepted in a while. Still, she had taken the mission with a great deal amusement, even going so far as to bring Thane along 'just in case.'

As if he read her mind, the drell spoke up not a moment later. "I must admit Siha; going on this mission is…not what I expected when I signed up."

Nora turned to look at him, a grin on her lips at his exasperated expression.

"Getting groceries pushes your skills to its limits, does it?"

Thane smiled, "We both know that to be false, but if it makes you smile who am I to correct you?"

His comment won a lighthearted laugh as she brushed up against him, the small bag in her arms jostling slightly. She had been forced to take the lighter parcel after Thane had smoothly stepped in to retrieve the larger one.

"If you're not careful we'll be eating bruised fruit." Thane chided lightly as he watched her spin in place, acting silly in such a public place. Around her legs the short dress fluttered pleasantly, allowing the woman to revel in her femininity.

It had been only two days since she had shown up in his room looking for comfort. He had done what he could; keeping her company and helping her plan their future mission to Illium. They would have left already, had she not received the request from the mess chef.

"Siha, please." There was a smile on his face despite the exasperation in his voice, "You're drawing unnecessary attention."

Nora would have laughed again if she hadn't seen a flicker of green on the edge of her vision.

_Another drell?_

She stopped suddenly, her eyes searching for the mysterious figure.

_Nothing…_

"Nora?"

"Did you see that?" She looked over her shoulder at him before turning back, "There was a drell… another one."

"We are a private people, Siha, but that does not mean there are not other travelers here on the Citadel."

Nora frowned slightly, "I guess…it's just…he looked a bit like you."

"Like me?"

"Yes… only he was more… blue."

Her companion froze suddenly in place, his expression one of stunned disbelief. His response was so uncharacteristically expressive that Nora turned back to him in concern.

"Thane, are you alright?"

As she asked the question, a digital beep drew Thane's attention to his Omni tool. His expression was entirely unguarded as he stared down at the message in his hands; as if he didn't understand what was written there.

"What's wrong?" Her hand touched the side of his face, willing him to focus long enough to explain his disbelief.

"My son, Kolyat."

He sounded completely calm, in control of himself. But Nora had spent enough time with him to know that though his voice was steady, and his hands did not tremble, there was something buried deep that ached.

Feeling slightly off center, Nora hesitated, the news that he had a son, no doubt a _family_, complicating everything she had thought she had known.

_Why had he accepted this mission, even if he was dying, if there was a family waiting for him?_

"Was he the drell I saw?"

He shook his head, "I don't know."

She knows nothing of his son and in reality very little about the man in front of her. But Kolyat is his family, his child; and even she, a girl who had no parents, knows there is only one proper course of action.

"Then let's find out. Come on, we have to drop these groceries off, then we can go."

It would be just the two of them for this mission.

The decision had been one Nora had come to almost immediately. Thane was an intensely private man, remained almost entirely alone on the Normandy, and only rarely ventured out of life support. Coupled with the news that Kolyat was now posing as an assassin, Nora had decided that the situation made it all the more necessary that their little mission was run as quietly as possible.

"Siha, there are… things that must be said before you decide to help me."

"Things?" Nora turned, testing the sight of her heavy pistol, frowning slightly as she lowered it to fix its calibration.

"I mentioned when we met on Illium that I was dying."

A flash of pain crossed the woman's face, "I remember."

"It's called Kepral's Syndrome. It's not communicable, but I have less than a year to live."

"I…" Nora didn't know what to say, didn't know if it was right for her to _say_ anything.

"My mortality has me… dwelling on things." A smile tugged at his lips tinged with self-mocking. "I had a family once, I still have a son." He moved to the weapons locker and selected a long barreled sniper rifle. "When my wife departed her body, I – attended to that issue. I left Kolyat in the care of his aunts and uncles. I have not seen or talked to him since."

So his wife was dead, his son estranged.

"That's not…" Nora looked up at the silent man, "…what I had expected from you. Why didn't you raise him yourself?"

"My body is blessed with the skills to take life. The hanar honed them in me. I have few others."

He turned to face her, "I didn't want that life for Kolyat. I hoped he would find his own way. If he hated me, so be it. He would not have shared the path of sin."

"But the message you received, something has happened, hasn't it?" Nora could read the pain in his expression.

"Kolyat has become - disconnected. He does what his body wills."

"Is he hurt?"

"Something happened that should not have. He knows what I've been. What I've done." His brow furrowed, "I don't know his reasons, but he has taken a job as a hit man."

"So he_ was_ who I saw back in the Wards?"

"It is, likely." Thane pressed slim fingers to his brow, "I would like you to help, but I believed it necessary to tell you everything first."

Nora smiled softly, "I appreciate that."

"He is…" Thane raised eyes that were, for once, not hidden beneath the tinted inner lids, "This is not a path he should walk."

"We'll stop him, Thane." Her hand grasped his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly, "We'll find your son."

He nodded, the movement so small as to be nearly imperceptible.

Nora smiled faintly as she turned to leave, "Come on, let's go talk to Captain Bailey. C-sec should have some leads."

Captain Bailey was at his desk when they arrived, his perpetual scowl no doubt now a hallmark of the Citadel Zakera wards.

"Yes?" Voice gruff, he was polite despite the coarse quality of his voice.

"My associate's trying to find his son. We think a local criminal may have tried to hire him."

"Shouldn't be too hard," Bailey tapped the screen of his computer, "We don't see many drell around these parts."

He lapsed into momentary silence as he worked, "There we go, one of my men reported a drell recently. And he was talking to Mouse. Interesting."

"Mouse?" Thane asked quietly.

"A petty criminal. Probably not the guy who hired your boy, but a messenger. He's a former duct rat, runs errands for anyone who'll pay."

Turning to Nora, Bailey gestured helpfully, "Mouse is usually upstairs, outside the Dark Star. He works out of a public comm. terminal. If Mouse can't get you in touch with your son directly, he'll know who can. I'll help you if you need it."

Appreciative, but not about to trust blindly, Nora lingered at the desk.

"You don't know us, Captain. Why are you going so far to help us?"

The older man looked up at her, "I've worked Zakera for two years. Every day, kids turn to crime because they've got no other choice. Because their parents don't care."

Bailey turned to Thane, "You're trying to save yours."

Thane nodded slowly, "…He faces a dark path."

"We better get going then." Nora spoke softly as she turned to leave, "We've got to find Mouse."

Thane was by her side a moment later, his hand closing on her elbow for a moment, making her pause as she turned towards the upper wards. "You didn't tell him that Kolyat plans to assassinate someone."

"He's a cop." Nora responded as if that in itself made her decision inherently obvious. Given her history back on earth is certainly made sense to her, but she explained further when Thane stared back at her unable to comprehend her point. "He'd have tried to stop Kolyat, and one of them could end up dead." She glanced away, "I don't want that."

"Yes of course, Shepard. Thank you."

They found Mouse precisely where Bailey had mentioned, the rake thin man half hidden in the deeper shadows of the vast corridors. They interrupted him just as he was closing another deal.

"You Mouse?"

"What do you – oh shit!" Turning around, Mouse jumped as he saw Thane, "Krios? I thought you retired!"

When he saw Nora the reaction was similar. "Commander Shepard? I thought you died! What do you want with me?"

It was Thane who spoke first, slowly tugging the young man aside, "Be still, Mouse. You can change your pants in a moment."

"We need you to answer some questions." Nora said quietly, her purple-blue eyes straying to Thane for a moment.

"The people I work for-" Mouse stuttered, paling at the thought, "Look, I can't answer questions for just anybody."

"But you can for me." Thane pushed the younger man back several paces as Nora looked on, "You gave another drell instructions for an assassination. Who's the target?"

"I-I don't know. I didn't ask. The people I work for? They can make me disappear."

Nora frowned as Mouse began to metaphorically squeak in fear. Cracking her knuckles, she was slowly resigning herself to the idea that force would be the only way to retrieve the desired information.

"I'd like to help you, Krios. You always done right by us. But I ain't gonna die for you."

And just like that Nora knew there might be a way to avoid making a scene, avoid hurting this scared man.

"Look, you know Thane. He wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. Do it for _him_."

"I… want to." Mouse began to wring his hands nervously, "He was always nice to us. But these people ain't nice, Krios"

"Nobody's going to know you talked to us." Nora insisted.

Thane nodded in agreement. "Mouse, I swear you won't be named."

"All right… all right." The ex-duct rat held his hands up. "He came with that holo you took of me. Said he wanted a job."

Mouse looked at Thane uneasily before turning away, "I ran through your old contacts to see who might give him a shot. The guy who offered was Elias Kelham."

The name was all they needed.

"You did good, Mouse." Nora nodded to the man.

"Yeah, well… I hope I live long enough to be able to pat myself on the back.

"Kelham will never know." Thane promised quietly.

"I hope not." Mouse looked around nervously, "I'm out of here, Krios. The next time you're in town – just don't bring the family."

He disappeared a moment later, shuffling unobtrusively around the two before vanishing among the bustle of people off to lunch.

Nora turned to look over her shoulder at Thane, catching only the most fleeting emotion cross his face before it was lost to the dimness of the hall.

"That can't have been easy."

Thane was silent for a long moment. "Mouse knew more about my life than Kolyat ever did."

_"He smiles up at me, broken teeth and scabby knees. Bare feet black. A dead-end future looking up at me. Worshiping the petty gifts I offer."_

He looked up, suddenly back in reality, "I was the only good thing he had, back then. But I left him, as I left Kolyat."

The sadness was there in his face, and Nora couldn't stop herself from gently squeezing his shoulder once more.

"Don't blame yourself." She said, wishing there was something more she could do to assuage the pain he harbored so deeply.

"If I don't, who will? We must all carry the weight of our own decisions, Shepard."

Nora had no response for the drell who followed behind her; there was nothing she could say. He was right, and no matter how heavy the burden became, it was still theirs to bear.

Nora and Thane were back at C-Sec within the hour, their request the first thing on their lips. "We need you to bring in a man. His name is Elias Kelham."

"Kelham. Shit."

Bailey's response was admittedly less than promising.

"Look, this is awkward. Kelham and I have an agreement. He doesn't cause too much trouble and 'buys tickets to the C-Sec Charity Ball' from me. In return, I ignore him…"

Something sharp and cold seemed to strike Nora in the chest, bringing with it a host of anger. "So he pays you off." She scoffed as she crossed her arms, "You were eager to help before. What about now? Is it too 'inconvenient'?"

"I said I'd help." Bailey sounded unruffled, "It's just – there'll be repercussions if I don't handle this right. He and I…give each other space. It keeps the peace."

He stood, "I'll get some of my people to bring him in and set him up in a private room. You can interrogate him yourself."

Nora gave Thane a quick glance before turning back to the still speaking C-Sec captain.

"I'll stay out of sight. If I'm lucky, Kelham will believe I have nothing to do with it."

"Then bring him in," Nora's voice was ice cold and steel sharp; "We might not have much time."  
The unconscious body of one Elias Kelham was dragged into the C-Sec facility not five minutes later, Nora following silently behind.

Meeting with the officer in charge of the room, Nora sent him to find Bailey.

"He'll expect me to get him out of this." The older man said as he watched Elias through the reflective glass.

"Not today, I think." Thane said, gesturing to the man in a white suit that had just arrived.

_"Captain? His lawyer's here."_

The C-Sec captain shook his head, "I'll stall him. You get in there and work fast."

Thane joined her on the way to the room, "We should question him together. Keep the pressure on." He stopped just before the door, "Any thoughts on how we approach it?"

"You talk to him and appeal to his self-interest. I'll put the screws to him if he needs it."

"Very well," Thane looked at her levelly, "I'll pretend to be on his side. But if we waste too much time negotiating, Bailey won't be able to stall Kelham's advocate."

Nora smiled gamely, "Then we'll just have to be good."

Kelham was already awake by the time they entered, and by the look of it he was very upset.

"Where's Bailey? And who the hell are you two?"

Nora barely spared the man a glance before beginning a slow languorous walk about the room, her hands swinging easily at her sides.

"Bailey has nothing to do with this. We just want a few answers. Off the record."

The man scoffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "'Off the record' in a C-Sec interrogation room. Sure."

"You hired an assassin." Nora pressed, "Who do you want dead?"

"I _want_ to see my advocate," Elias answered stubbornly.

"Your advocate hasn't arrived yet," Thane spoke up, acting as the voice of reason, "We're trying to find him."

"Then I'm not saying a damn world until he's here." Kelham frowned, "You two are-"

Nora's hand connected with his head, forcing his face forward. Walking causally back to where she had been standing, her voice was icy, "Do try and pay attention, Mr. Kelham."

They had agreed to play roles, Thane the good cop, she the bad. And while at first it had been a difficult step to move from her usual calm collectedness, there was a familiar rush that accompanied the way her hand felt as it struck his face.

Familiar, rewarding, the teasing lick of power along her spine made her smile.

"That wasn't a smart idea, kid. That is gonna cost ya."

Thane's expression was nearly unreadable as he looked at her, and had they not spoken earlier his words of warning might have made her hesitate.

As it was, she merely grinned all the wider at his excellent play-acting, watching silently as he apologized to Kelham.

Still, it seemed the man didn't get the message, or the words of wisdom Thane had so carefully imparted. When he baited her to hit him again she didn't hesitate.

Laughing slightly as she threw a second punch she looked down at him, her lips curved upwards in fiendish amusement.

"What's with the groans? I thought you wanted more?"

"Do you know what I'll do when I get out of here?" Kelham spit between bloodied lips, a trail of scarlet dripping from his nose; it was undoubtedly broken.

Shrugging, Nora flicked a disinterested glance at the man. "If you keep it up you'll be 'getting out of here' in a bag."

Fighting against his restraints, the man looked ready to attack her. "Go to hell!"

Thane pulled her aside before she could respond.

"Ease up. He'll be of no use to us de-"

"Are we done here?! I have people to see. " Kelham's voice was enough of an answer, and Nora smile seemed to sharpen at the edges as she turned on her heel. In the next moment she was at Kelham's neck, expression lost to the drell that watched from over her shoulder.

"I'm _done_ being patient." Her voice was deadly soft, and frighteningly conversational. As if she was discussing the weather. "Give me a name, or I'll cut your balls off and sell them to a krogan."

Blanching, the man squirmed in his chair, eyes finding Thane's as he tried desperately to escape.

"Joram! Joram Talid! Turian in the 800 blocks!"

The man slumped in his chair shortly afterwards.

"He's unconscious. No need to wake him up, I think."

Nora shrugged, suddenly once more the quiet reserved commander he recognized. "He'll wake up with a headache. No permanent damage."

"Besides, now we have Kolyat's target. Let's get to Talid before he does." Nora managed a little smile at the small victory.

Thane couldn't help but smile ever so slightly back. "Agreed."

They met with Bailey once more just outside the interrogation room.

"So, what's the story? Why did Kelham hire the boy?"

Nora glanced at Thane, "Assassination. A turian named Joram Talid. You know him?"

"Joram?" Bailey straightened, uncrossing his arms though he suddenly looked troubled. "Yeah. You might have seen his posters around. He's promising to end organized crime on the ward. Thing is, his message is a mixed up in race politics. He's anti-human."

Sensing the other man's displeasure she sighed, "If a majority vote for him, then like it or not that's how the system works."

"That's a nice _ideal_ Shepard." Bailey said before turning to calling for dispatch to find them a ride to the 800 blocks, "But I don't think Joram will make it easy for you."

Joram Talid had, for a turian, impeccable fashion sense.

At least, Nora thought he did; the white suit was nice, if not exactly his color. And that was the kicker really, that he would choose to wear a tone so stark that he made himself an easy target.

Part of her winced at the thought, Kolyat would, no doubt, find him easily enough.

Exiting from their cab, Nora straightened her gloves idly, watching Joram from the corner of her eye. "There he is. How do you want to play this?"

Thane gently nudged her and pointed towards the ceiling.

"You follow him on the catwalks; tell me what he's doing."

She had turned to leave before she stopped short, twisting to give him one last look.

"Thane, where will you be?"

There was a flicker of a smile on his face as he looked back at her, "The darkest corner with the best view."

Biting back a grin, Nora shook her head and then began her search for the entrance to the upper catwalks. And when she paused for one moment more, to peek behind her she smiled again.

He was already gone.

"Are you in position?"

Thane's voice thrummed quietly over the comm. several minutes later, steady and focused on the task ahead of them.

"Yes, I've got a lock on our target," shifting slightly Nora didn't need any scope to see, and _hear_, the politician just a few feet below her. Wincing, she shook her head as she caught some of the anti-human propaganda. Joram Talid certainly was one of the most opinionated turian politicians she had been forced to listen to.

Several minutes passed in relative silence before Nora radioed Thane, "They're about to get going though, his speech is winding down."

"Stick with him when he does," Thane's response was automatic; "His body guard should make it a little easier to spot him, but stay sharp."

Nora may have been the commanding officer, but Thane was more experienced in this field. It was with absolute attention that she listened to what he said. And in the beginning it was easy enough, the bright red armor of the guard acting as a beacon even when the crowds of people made it hard to see anything but movement.

But just as she was beginning to feel comfortable, a gossamer soft ruffle of movement from behind her caused Nora's instincts to kick in before she could remember to check herself.

Forgetting her quarry, the commander whirled around, the heavy pistol trained on nothing but open air.

_No one._

Exhaling sharply, Nora turned back to where she had last seen the Joram, checking the large lobby but seeing no one.

"Shit." Nora looked through her scope and panned the room unable to locate the turian politician, nor could she find the bright red suit of his bodyguard.

Straightening from her crouch, she swore under breath again as her eyes scanned the packed bar, seeing nothing of interest.

"Siha, where is he now?"

Thane's voice, for all of its calm certainty seemed suddenly anxious, as if somehow he sensed she had made a mistake.

Swallowing hard Nora, clicked the radio on, "Give me a minute, he's moved. I'm getting in position."

"Be quick Siha, or we may lose our chance."

_Oh damn it all_.

Nora moved as quietly as she could, willfully suppressing the panic that threatened to her ability to do her job.

"Where did that damn turian disappear to?" She muttered. She had only just started toward the back room of the lounge when she was once more interrupted.

"Over here."

A voice, feminine though certainly not soft, called out to her. Glancing to her left, Nora felt the prickle of awareness on the back of her neck. A woman, about as tall as her own diminutive height, stood not more than ten feet away.

_How long had it been since someone had been able to sneak that close to her undetected?_

Turning sharply, Nora's hand snapped to her holster but hesitated.

"I mean you no harm, Shepard."

There was a flash of a smile beneath the large hood that otherwise prevented a clear look at the other's face. "Come here."

Her gloved hand motioned Nora forward, pointed towards a figure down below, amidst the throb of bodies and flashing lights.

"You're looking for Joram, aren't you?"

Cautious but unwilling to turn down a potential lead, Nora walked towards the lithe white and black armored woman, her eyes shifting between the turian and the mysterious help she had attained.

"He's down there, talking to those other thugs. Some sort of meeting."

"How do you know about me… about Joram?"

Another flash of a smile, too quickly lost to the shadows.

"I make it my business to know things, Shepard. That's all you need to know for now."

"But…"

Nora was caught between watching the politician and keeping track of the sleek bodied figure that had helped her. As it was, the hooded woman merely shook her head, hand gesturing to where the bodyguard was standing. "They are your quarry now. You will find out about me soon enough." Nora could make out two bright eyes beneath the shadow of her hood, "Don't get distracted, Shep. There's still a boy to save."

And then she disappeared, fading back into the shadows from whence she came, a talented infiltrator.

"Siha, where is he now?"

Thane's voice didn't make her panic the way it had before. She had to stay focused. Nora didn't bother lingering on the other woman any more than that. If the unnamed informant was to be believed then there was little doubt they would meet again.

"Thane, he's there, back corner of the bar."

"What's he doing?"

"He's meeting with a couple mercenaries. Looks like the same group his bodyguard comes from."

There was a moment of silence as Thane moved to a better position. "He looks nervous. Maybe he saw you?"

Nora shook her head thinking that perhaps he could see her even from his position down there. "Maybe he saw Kolyat somewhere."

"Also a possibility," Thane replied evenly, "There are obstructions up ahead. I'll try to go around them. Don't lose him."

She didn't bother responding, eyes and mind once more trained on the mission at hand.

A young man, in charge of the stock room, confronted her the moment she stepped through the doors.

"Hey, who are you? What are you doing back here?"

Doing her best to look harried, a feat that was admittedly easily achieved, Nora looked around the room. "I'm with Citadel Health and Safety. We've had vermin reports in storage areas around here."

"What? Then what's with the heavy weapons?"

The young man pointed to her shotgun and assault rifle.

Nora sighed, patting the young man on the shoulder. "They are very _big_ vermin."

"I – You can't be serious!" The stock boy said, though he began to look around nervously, "How did you get in here?"

Nora sighed, "If I didn't have authorization, then how _did_ I get in? You see any other doors?"

"Well… there's the keeper – never mind. Just – just go on through, ok?"

The amusement on Nora's face was entirely genuine as she exited through the stock hall and found herself once more out in the open courtyard, with a perfect view of Joram Talid as he walked past her position.

Following slowly behind, there was only a span of ten feet between them, but it was enough.

Nora saw _him_ the moment she rounded the corner, his slender and blue tinged form similar enough to Thane that she recognized him on the spot. Moving into action immediately, she barked his name.

"Kolyat!"

Her distraction worked only for a spit second, calling attention to both herself and the armed drell who had been shadowing the turian politician.

But in the next moment chaos swallowed the street as the sharp metallic sound of gunfire filled the air, leaving the bodyguard wounded as the younger drell ran after the retreating turian politician.

"Thane?"

Nora tapped her comm., hoping that her companion was close by.

"I saw him." Thane's voice was unhurried as he caught up to her, both of them running headlong after his son.

"He's heading for Talid's apartment."

In her peripheral vision Nora saw him nod, "We'll make it in time, but it won't be easy."

They found the politician on his knees, gun pressed to the back of his head. Kolyat was frowning coldly as they both entered, Nora remaining in the shadows, leaving it up to Thane to talk his son.

"Kolyat."

The younger drell's frown deepened, his eyes flickering for a moment. "This – this is a joke. Now? Now you show up?"

From his position on the ground Talid begged Thane for help, a request that was only further complicated by the arrival of a small contingency of C-Sec officers.

"Put the gun down, son." Bailey moved until he was just outside firing range.

Kolyat eyed the many guns pointed in his direction, noting that his father's hands were the only ones that were empty.

"Get out of my way. I'm walking out. He's coming with me."

Approaching slowly, Thane gestured to the door, "They'll have snipers outside."

His son scoffed, "I don't need your—what the hell!"

Squeezing off a single shot, Nora watched as Kolyat turned to look at the fallen light fixture, moving in the second that his attention was temporarily distracted.

Nora's fist connected with the side of his face, not quite hard enough to break anything, but the impact worked to force him back several paces.

"Talid, get the hell out of here."

The politician nodded, stumbling backwards, "Yeah. Yeah! I will."

C-Sec closed behind him a second later, following the orders to take Kolyat into custody.

"You son of a bitch!" Kolyat swore viciously as he took several steps towards Thane. Nora intervened, taking a single step towards the younger drell, trying to get him to understand.

"Your father doesn't have much time left, Kolyat. He's trying to make up for his mistakes."

Eying his father, Kolyat sounded upset, "What, so you came to get my forgiveness?" He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "So you can die in peace or something?"

Thane's hand rested on Nora's shoulder for a moment before he too moved forward, walking towards his son with all the graceful ease afforded to him by experience and training.

"I came to grant you peace." He spoke softly. "You're angry because I wasn't there when your mother died."

"You weren't there when she was _alive_." The words were bitter, "Why should you have been there when she died?"

Nora watched as Thane's shoulders slumped as if burdened by a heavy weight. "Your mother – they killed her to get to me. It was my fault."

"What?"

Kolyat's expression turned to shock, he suddenly looked so very young.

"After her body was given to the deep, I went to find them. The trigger men. The ringleaders." Thane seemed to sway a little, as if he was walking the line between his memories and speaking. "I hurt them. Eventually killed them. When I went back to see you, you were – older. I should have stayed with you."

"I guess it's too bad for me you waited so long, huh?"

"Kolyat. I've taken many bad things out of the world. You're the only good thing I've added to it."

Unable to say anything, his son merely turned away. But as he did so, the light caught on the tears in his eyes, and glimmered faintly.

Bailey intervened then, offering them the use of a room to continue a conversation that was entirely too personal to be viewed so publically.

"You're doing him a favor, Bailey. Thanks."

"Yeah, well send me a Christmas card or something;" the older man replied ruefully, "I have to get back to the precinct. Come on, I'll give you a lift."

It was nearly two hours later when Nora spoke to Bailey again, "They've been in there for a while."

Bailey sighed, "The kid's been through a lot. I ran some searches in the C-Sec archives. About ten years back, a bunch of really bad people were killed. Like someone was cleaning house."

He leaned back in his chair, "The prime suspect was a drell. We never caught him."

Nora smiled, "Ten years is a long time. Whoever was responsible for that probably doesn't exist anymore."

"Yeah?" Bailey seemed to search her face for some sign, "I guess you're right."

The door behind them opened with a soft hiss, revealing the older drell. Turning, Nora walked halfway to meet him.

"How'd it go?"

Thane looked down at the floor, "Our problems – they aren't something I can fix with a few words. We'll keep talking, see what happens."

Bailey motioned them over, "Your boy shot some people. No one I feel sympathy for, but there it is."

Frowning, Nora leaned on his desk, "I watched those guys shaking down businesses and threatening humans."

"But he can't just get away with it."

She sighed, knowing he was right. Still, maybe there was an alternative. There weren't a lot of options but maybe something… "The kid wants to make a difference. Give him community service."

It sounded ridiculous, even to her, but she had to try.

"Community service for attempted murder? What jury would agree to that?"

"None that I've seen." Nora gave the captain a pointed look, "This would need to stay out of the judiciary. Strictly within C-Sec."

Bailey lapsed in silence for a moment, "Interesting. I'll have to think about it."

He extended his hand to Thane, who took it with a grateful nod, "Thank you, Captain."

Nora and Thane rode back to the Normandy in complete silence, companionable but absolute. It was only when they exited the cab that Thane gave her pause, calling to her before she could return to the ship.

"Nora."

He knew he did not love her, not the way the turian did, but Thane couldn't help himself, stopping her before she left, hand closing around the bend in her arm. Bringing her close, he touched the side of her jaw, brushing the sweat-damp hair behind her ear.

He smiled softly, "Thank you… for everything, Siha."

Shaking her head Nora looked at him fondly, pleased with their success, "It was nothing."

He touched her cheek gently as he shook his head, disagreeing with her.

"It was more than that."

And then he leaned forward, brushing his mouth to hers, demanding nothing with the chaste kiss he placed on her lips. He was not the man she wanted, not the man she needed. But what they had was special, and Thane realized that no matter what happened he would sooner die than leave her side.

Nora went in search of Garrus shortly after arriving back on the Normandy, her mind a mess and in dire need of someone familiar, someone who wasn't going to call her a friend and then kiss her like _that_.

Groaning softly, she pressed her hands against her cheeks trying to stem the blush.

Nora entered the front battery room only to find it empty, eerily so.

_If she was going to look for Garrus then she couldn't be thinking about Thane._

Sighing, the woman lingered at the workstation where she would often find her turian companion. She knew there were only a handful of places he could be around the ship, and given that most of the crew was now on the night shift there really was only one other place for him to be.

Still, maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Neither one had talked to the other since the incident with Sidonis; nor had she visited him, though the yeoman had mentioned he was acting funny. The mission with Thane had seemed to have taken all of her time.

Guilt swamped her; replaced a moment later by careful consideration. Garrus had been less than pleased that night on the Citadel. Perhaps now would be a far better time to talk with him than she had initially thought.

"Hey Shepard, what's with the staring contest against the elevator?"

Jack seemed to materialize from the shadows, her stocky build dramatized by the high contrast light and dark. She was wearing the vest.

"Hmm?" Nora looked at the younger woman and smiled, "What are you doing up so late?"

"What, do I have a curfew or something?" The younger woman frowned but refrained from her customary scowl. "You know you're actually not that much older than I am."

"That annoys you, doesn't it?" Grinning, Nora gave Jack a wink before getting in the elevator.

Pushed to scowling, Jack crossed her arms as she followed her commander, "A little."

Jack left the second the elevator opened, muttering something about getting some shut-eye while 'there was still some damn time to get some.' Unable to stop her soft laughter, Nora watched the younger woman vanish around the corner before going search of Garrus. Nora found him in the training room, unmoving in the dimly lit hall, his expression hidden as his attention was entirely focused on the far wall.

"Garrus?"

Stepping into the room she paused just a few feet from where he stood.

"Not now." His voice was ragged, strained as if he was on the edge of a cliff and he was only a hairs breath from falling off.

"Talk to me." She said stubbornly.

"What is there to say?" He turned to face her and she saw his blue eyes glint dangerously in the dark. "You stopped me from killing him. And I can barely…"

He moved suddenly, faster than she could track, his fist connecting with one of the heavy punching bags and near ripping it from its metal hinges. Steel shrieking against steel, the entire setup shuddered at the force of his attack.

She didn't have to ask who 'he' was.

"I'm not leaving." Her voice was firm, "It's been nearly a week. You _have to accept the choices you made._"

"I don't _want_ to accept them!" Garrus snarled as he stormed away from her, moving away from her with all the contained rage of a predator. "They weren't mine to make!"

"Then whose were they?!" Nora couldn't stop the exasperation in her voice, the anger.

"You _knew_ I wouldn't shoot at him if you were standing right in front of him."

"The last time I was standing between you and a potential target I _ordered_ you to take the shot. Nothing says you couldn't have taken him out if you really wanted to."

"And if I had hit you in the process?"

Nora looked into his bright blue eyes with her own, "Accidents happen. If you had really wanted the kill you would have done so at any cost."

When he shuddered violently at the thought she moved to his side, hand touching his forearm, "You're not a cold blooded killer, Garrus. You weren't two years ago, you aren't now."

"You can't keep thinking I'm the same man from two years ago. I've _changed_."

"Don't you think I haven't noticed?" Nora moved so that she was in front of him, expression fathomless. "You've changed the way you fight, you know more about security systems and internal hacking and you shoot better than you did before."

"_But_," her lips curled upwards in a small smile, a _pained_ smile, "your heart is still the same. You still hate to see injustice, and you want to change that. You're a _good_ person Garrus; people like you don't kill for personal reasons."

"You had no problem killing that member of your former gang. _That_ was a personal reason – wasn't it? Why was this different?!" He moved away from her, shoulders taut with pent up emotion.

"Did it change me?" The question brought with it a startling quiet.

"Did killing that man change who I was?" She stepped close, suddenly forcing him to move back as she advanced, "How I acted?" She took another step forward.

"Nora." His voice was little more than a growl as he warned her off, "Don't."

"Don't what?" she whispered back, pushing gently against him, hands sliding across his chest.

"I can barely think straight right now. If you push me there's no telling what…"

"Spar with me, Garrus."

Her open hand closed around his arm, and the muscles in her arm flexed in response, moving from passive to flat out dangerous in a single movement.

_She was trained enough to know she could throw him if she really tried, a little biotic lift and…_

There was no way he was going to let her.

He moved instantly, shifting his weight and twisting away from her hold. Muscles flexing, he watched as she avoided a carefully controlled kick to abdomen before lashing out with one of her own.

The blow wasn't nearly hard enough to make him lose balance, but he grunted from the force of impact.

"_Spar_ with me, Garrus."

Teeth flashing in challenge, she baited him as she darted forward, dropping to the floor when he tried to land a kick. He had forgotten how fast she was, how entirely flexible she was when she fought hand to hand. Two years ago he had never actually trained with her, content to watch her practice with either Williams or Alenko. But she had been startling even then, using her smaller size to her advantage, maneuvering her larger opponents until their own weight toppled them.

She would never be a long distance marksman, but when it came to combat in close quarters Nora excelled. He had only seen her lose once, and that was because she had been too stubborn to stop training when she was ill. That was her greatest fault, never taking into account how much danger she put herself into, never recognizing how very mortal she was.

The fact that she had been brought back to life didn't exactly help matters.

"Did it ever dawn on you that he could have shot you while you covered him?" Garrus snarled as he circled her, dodging a blow before retaliating in kind. "He could have _killed _you. Where would that had left us, Shepard?"

"You said it yourself; Sidonis was a coward not a killer."

She frowned as threw off a grapple, avoiding another punch before striking at his shoulder.

"It's the cowards that are the greater threat, they'll do _anything_ to stay out of harm's way; even if that means killing ten good men in exchange for their own miserable life. What was one more life on top of those he had already killed?"

Nora grit her teeth as he forced her backwards, shifting her weight to counter the push with a kick. When the reply came in the form of a high kick, Nora slid easily into a split avoiding the blow, hands cushioning her drop.

And yet no sooner had she done so than Garrus stopped suddenly with a strangled gasp.

Face whipping up to look at him, Nora's expression was one of concern.

"Garrus?"

His eyes were glued to her hips and he looked ready to pass out. It took Nora all of a second to realize what had him near ill and when she did the smile on her face was entirely teasing.

"You forgot I bend that way, didn't you?"

She pulled out of the splits, giving _his _hips a pointed look.

There was a sudden shuddering breath before Garrus seemed able to collect himself.

"Damn you're flexible."

His comment made her flush; though Nora attributed it more to the rough timbre of his voice than the actual words themselves.

"I have to be," she smiled tiredly as she wiped the sweat from her brow, "You would have the advantage otherwise."

"Advantage?"

"You have reach," Nora pointed to the length of her arm and then his own, "How else am I supposed to avoid you?"

He lunged for her then, without warning, testing her. She danced just out of his reach, a breathless laugh spilling from her lips.

"You're going to have to try harder than that."

"And you, _Commander_…" He grinned as he moved forward, forcing her to take one step back and then another. It was only when her back hit the wall that she looked up wide eyed, "…have to pay attention so as not to be backed into a corner."

She dropped into a crouch a split second before his fist would have connected with her torso.

Both were still far from holding back, and despite their lighthearted banter their blows were only barely tempered. Nora landed a roundhouse kick to his side before leaping back to avoid a counter strike.

She was a hair too slow.

And as her body absorbed the impact, her gasp of surprise seemed to stun more than just herself. She found herself clasped in a lose embrace a moment later, her body carefully cradled as it was drawn out of its descent.

"Garrus?"

Her side ached mutely, but it was hardly the worst she had received in a sparring match. Still, the feel of him so close was not something she would so casually leave. Closing her eyes as she accepted his embrace, she reveled in the contact, savoring the way he smelled, the way his forehead felt against her hair.

"You ok?"

He sounded odd to her, an emotion coloring his voice in a way she didn't recognize. Around her, the arms tighten protectively.

"Yeah, just had the breath knocked out of me. Not the first time, but I admit you did catch me off guard." She smiled up at him only to have it fade away, "Garrus, what's wrong?"

Something flickered behind his eyes but he merely shook his head, unable to meet her curious gaze for very long. He relaxed his grip on her minutely but kept her secure in his hold.

"Nothing…"

She didn't push him, but neither did she move out of the protective circle of his arms. There was warmth in his touch, a familiar tenderness in the way he cradled her close. Nora wanted nothing more than to lay her head against his chest and savor the moment, but there were still lines that could not be crossed. A flash of memory opened the old wound and for a moment the pain of their separation returned anew, piercing her deeply.

His hand came up to caress her cheek, one tapered finger tracing the edge of her jaw before stroking the soft skin of her face. Slowly, so slowly, he dragged her out of the memory and back to reality. And all they were doing was standing together, locked in an embrace, nearly unmoving, both scared the other would leave and shatter this precious moment. Trembling, she placed one hand on his waist so gently that it more ghosted against the skin than actually rested there. Silently observing the way her small human hand looked in comparison to the sharp jutting curve of his hip it was only when his hand gently covered her hand with his much larger one that she released the shuttering breath in her lungs.

_They fit each other perfectly. _

She hesitated for a long moment before once more finding the courage to look his expression, half expecting him to pull away, to say something, _anything,_ and leave her standing alone. Instead she found that he too seemed content, his eyes meeting her own for only a moment before turning to look once more at where her hand still touched.

"Nora?"

She shook her head, "Nothing." She could barely get the word past the tremulous smile on her lips.

Hesitating, Garrus drew her chin up.

"Close your eyes." He whispered gruffly, rough with an emotion she was too confused to decipher.

"Garrus?"

She couldn't see the look on his face but she closed her eyes anyway, trusting him implicitly. He would never purposely cause her harm, not back on the Citadel and not now.

Losing her sight seemed to make every other sense heighten, smell, her ability to hear, her sense of touch suddenly startlingly acute.

Alone in this inky void, it was only the feel of his warmth that kept her grounded. And then the world exploded in sensation, the warmth of his hands on her back, the brush of his cheek against her own.

Her breath caught in her throat.

It wasn't a kiss, not really. But she felt his warm breath against her mouth, and the press of his forehead against her own seemed more intimate by far. Tilting her head upward she felt his hands tighten in pleasure as she accepted what he gave.

A finger smoothed a hair behind her ear and his hands slid upwards to cradle her face.

She opened her eyes slowly.

"Garrus?"

His eyes, so direct and blue, appeared fathoms deep.

There was so much to say, to try and fix. They would have to talk if they ever wished to regain what had been lost. Now was not the time, but they had taken a step in the right direction.

He sighed softly, gently carding one large claw delicately through her hair.

"Get to bed, Shepard. It's been a long day."

Nora smiled a little at his practicality, touching his wrist and stroking the soft skin there.

"We'll talk about this later, ok?" She said, mirroring his words from back on the citadel.

His familiar 'turian' smile was answer enough.

"Well well, if it isn't my favorite commander in the whole wide world."

Jack was smiling, smirking, as Nora stopped by on her way to visit the engineering bay. It was easily morning, and though Nora was herself an early riser, the younger biotic woman was not. That she was up now was admittedly a pleasant surprise.

"It's good to see you back here and not in _my_ room," Nora teased watching the younger woman thumb through several magazines she recognized from her own collection. "Read anything interesting lately?"

"Not really…you know how the other magazines are, all information and no creativity." Jack raised the one she was reading, "They've obviously never bought Omega-grade weapons. Who ever heard of a shotgun with such a short range and limited power? Idiots."

"Happy with what we have in the armory huh?" Nora gave the younger woman a knowing look, "I noticed you talked to Jacob about adjusting the recoil on your shotgun."

The black eyed gaze went frosty.

"He snitched did he?"

The older woman shook her head, "No, but he looked altogether too happy working at the bench, especially given the hour." Nora gestured to the clock, "I had to ask. He didn't exactly give the information easily."

"No?"

"Nah," Nora smiled teasingly, "Said something about a 'crazy biotic chick' throwing him out the nearest air lock if he did. Still, I've played around with shotguns enough to know what he was doing."

Jack snorted, "Now _that's_ a metaphor for the books. _You've_ obviously been spending more time with Vakarian."

Nora blinked, not understanding the relationship. "What do you mean?"

"The turian has the rather unfortunate talent for making the most supremely awkward, suggestive, comments when he doesn't mean to."

Knowing what she did about Garrus' penchant for misspeaking common human phrases Nora couldn't help but smile. Sometime he really did sound like an innocent.

_But other times…_

Nora felt a flush cross her cheeks as she remembered the kiss. It had conjured old memories, filled in some of the blank spots in her memory. But in more than one way it had felt like the first, brand new.

"Oh-ho… I know that look." Jack grinned as she threw the magazine down on her bed.

"I think not." Nora's adamant refusal made the other woman sigh.

"Figures… and here I was thinking there might be some hope for you yet." Jack flicked an imaginary speck off her shoulder.

Nora eyed the other woman warily, "Do I even want to know?"

The younger woman grinned, "I'll take that as a 'yes.'"

"No I…" Nora mumbled incoherently, "I didn't come down here to discuss my… sex life."

"You have to admit it does make for a great topic though." Jack still looked amused, "Shit, it's funny to see you squirm."

"I was going to play a round of cards with Gabby and Kenneth." Nora continued, "I had wanted to ask if you might come along?"

"You know I'm not one for those little 'group bonding' things you do."

Her commander nodded, "Still, I thought I'd ask."

"Yeah well, thanks but no thanks, Shepard."

Nora merely nodded, "I'll see you around, Jack."

_"Commander?"_

EDI's voice echoed in the expanse of the Engineering deck.

Looking up, Nora grinned as she dragged the small pile of winnings towards her, "Yes, EDI?"

_"The Illusive Man has requested your presence in the conference hall."_

Giving both her engineers a brief smile, Nora nodded, "I'm on my way." She was in the elevator a minute later, counting the last of her winnings while she traveled to the appropriate level.

Pocketing the money, she made immediately for the comm. room, briefly nodding to the yeoman as the doors closed behind her.

"Patch me through EDI."

And then she was there, standing in the dimly lit expanse of _nothing_ that overlooked a dying star.

"Shepard- we caught a break. We intercepted a distress call from a turian patrol. They stumbled onto a Collector ship. The turians were wiped out, but not before they crippled the Collector vessel."

He sat down smoothly as he delivered his order, "I need you to board that ship and get some hard data on the Collectors, find a way for us to get to their home world."

"Hard to imagine how a turian patrol could take out a Collector Ship."

Memories, blurred both by her own brain damage and the chaos of the time, surfaced slowly. The Normandy had been much more than a patrol ship, and still it had fallen.

The illusive man didn't seem to understand the implications.

"Reports indicate the hull's intact. But all systems seem to be offline." The man tilted his head a little to the side as he exhaled some of his cigarette smoke. "They could be making repairs as we speak."

Nora frowned as the Illusive Man continued, "I'm not saying it won't be dangerous, but we can't let an opportunity like this slip by."

Still, there was nothing that could be done now, and Nora was smart enough to know that once again she had little choice.

"Send me the coordinates and I'll see what can be done."

"I've already sent them." He gestured over her shoulder, "Once you've boarded the Collector ship, establish a link with EDI. She'll mine their systems for data on the Omega 4 relay."

She nodded as she turned to go, ignoring his 'good luck' and perfunctory goodbye. Nora didn't have a choice when it came to dealing with him, but that didn't mean she had to stick around longer than necessary.

"EDI, tell Joker to set a course for the ship."

Nora rounded the corner towards the armory; she had to talk to Jacob about her armor and she knew that the explanation of its upgrades would take more than a little bit of time.

"We have a visual on the Collector Ship, Commander."

Nora nodded absently as she finished tightening the last of the straps on her suit. It had fit like a glove before, but now had all the flexibility of well worn leather. It also felt nearly twenty pounds lighter despite Jacob's insistence that the new plates he had used were even better than the last.

'_She really should thank him for all his work,' _she thought

Flexing her hands, Shepard watched the interlocking pieces slide smoothly along the surface of the under armor, rigid plates fitting unerringly over the thinner under layer.

_"Very low emissions, passive infrared temperatures suggest most systems are offline. Thrusters are cold." _

Looking up from her new suit, Nora gazed at the behemoth that stretched out to meet them. Next to her, Nora heard Joker swear as he maneuvered the Normandy to come alongside, skimming close and tight.

"That thing is _massive_! How the hell did the turians take it out?"

It was a question the Illusive Man had carefully kept vague. Nora knew the turian navy was exceptional when it came to military tactics, but the disruption of this ship seemed either a hallmark of great martial skill or deceit_._

Nora frowned momentarily as she took a step away from the window, towards the shuttle to ready up. Her meetings with the Illusive Man always left her feeling more distrustful than normal.

_"Ladar scans do not report any harmful breaches on the surface facing us. I detect no mass effect field distortions. It appears the drive core is offline." _

"Rendezvous in 30 seconds, Commander."

Snapping her favorite shotgun into place, Nora turned to find the young biotic walking behind her towards the loading bay.

"You ready to do a little recon?"

Jack frowned, "Does that mean no biotic skull-crushing."

Checking the clips on her thigh Nora grinned, "You know I make your life exciting, Jack. Mixing up the destruction with the non-violence gives your life variety."

Jack snorted but grinned back.

"Right, because that's _exactly_ what I want."


	9. Chapter 9: Powerless

AN: Ok...so life has been busy but I got this chapter done anyway :) Priorities right? Hahaha, well I hope you enjoy! Just another shout out to my lovely editor Zepheera, and to all the wonderful people who have taken the time to send me messages or reviews with helpful hints and words of encouragement - it means a lot!

On another note - I'm trying something a little different with formatting since I realized all of my lovely stars that break up individual scenes has been missing...from ALL my chapters...sigh...

In any case, let me know what you think or, if you know how I could format my pages help is always much loved :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (Bioware, main plot and characters are not my own)

* * *

The ship was unlike anything Nora had imagined, a blur of neutral browns and blacks, more organic than blatantly technological.

"Looks like a beehive." Garrus' voice echoed hauntingly as they stepped off the shuttle, "Rachni maybe?"

EDI's digital voice filtered through the comm a minute later, _"Penetrating scans have detected an access node uplink with Collector databanks," she intoned, "Sending the location to your hardsuit computer, Shepard." _

Nora murmured a brief thanks as she continued to walk through the ship. It was eerily silent, the emptiness emphasizing the sheer size of the vessel. They moved along the abandoned corridors for nearly half an hour before EDI contacted them again.

_"Shepard. I've compared the ship's EM signature to known Collector profiles. It is the vessel you encountered on Horizon."_

The hair on the back of Nora's neck prickled, despite the temperature controlled suit she wore. "Maybe the defense towers softened it for the turians?" Nora moved cautiously around the corner only to find more empty space.

"Then it's likely the colonists are on this ship; unless, of course, they're already dead." Jack's voice echoed in the hall, amplified by the faceted surfaces on the walls.

"The Collectors used these containers on Horizon," Garrus agreed as he bent over yet another pod, "But they're all empty."

As they rounded a corner the smell of rotting bodies seemed to suddenly fill the air, a stench that penetrated even the enclosed space suits they were wearing.

Garrus swore softly. "That…does not look good."

Nodding in grim agreement, Nora approached the bodies, seeing only fragments and flesh colored mush. She forced down a wave of nausea as she looked over the remains with a veneer of impassivity.

"What do you make of this?"

"They must have been used for testing," Garrus looked at Jack out of the cover of his eye, watching as she stiffened. "I'd say these subjects didn't pass."

"There are worse things than death-" Nora answered softly, "–like being an experiment for twisted aliens."

Garrus sighed, "You're probably right. Doesn't feel much better though."

Scoffing, Jack moved away from the mound, "You can say that again."

They moved on, but quickly found a pattern to their discoveries as they passed increasingly larger piles of bodies, the smell increasing until Nora was sure she would be ill. It was only when they spotted an elaborate mechanical fixture in the otherwise organic ship that the hallways around them seemed to suddenly clear of debris.

"Jack, secure that hallway, Garrus you do the same." Nora barked orders as she pulled out her omni tool, running a basic diagnostics on the piece of alien equipment. By the time she had finished the first scan both crewmates had returned from their respective assignments.

As they approached, Nora looked up at them and gestured to the long table; on which lay the still form of a Collector.

"Were they experimenting on one of their own?" Garrus' voice was tinged with disbelief, a sentiment that both women shared.

"EDI, I'm uploading the information from this terminal. See if you can figure out what they were up to."

_"Data received…analyzing." _

There were a few telltale digital tones before EDI responded again.

_"The collectors were running baseline genetic comparisons between themselves and humanity."_

Frowning, Nora walked to the other side of the machine, staring at the Collector. "Were they trying to find similarities?"

_"I have no hypothesis on their motivations. All I have are preliminary results. They reveal something remarkable."_

Nora perked up, "What is it, EDI?"

_"A quad-strand genetic structure identical to traces collected from ancient ruins. Only one race is known to have this structure: the Protheans."_

The universe seemed to tilt suddenly, haphazardly on its axis; threatening to spill over if Nora made even the slightest movement.

"My god," Frozen where she stood, the human commander couldn't look away from the body on the table, "The Protheans didn't vanish. They're working for the Reapers now."

_"These are no longer Protheans, Shepard." _EDI was quick to correct Nora's mistake, but ultimately couldn't change the stunned horror that had left the woman rooted in place. "_Their genes show distinct signs of extensive genetic rewrite. The Reapers have repurposed them to suit their needs."_

"They turned them into monsters and enslaved them." By degrees, Nora was beginning to feel more like her usual self; but the universe and those she had perceived as her enemy were now vastly different from what she had once known, though thankfully not irreconcilably so.

"Still, they're working for the Reapers now, and we have to stop them."

The Collectors may have been Protheans once, but no longer. Nora knew what she had to do. And though the memory of her mission against Saren echoed with the Prothean warnings of the beacons, she knew that those she fought now were not the same beings.

"Come on," She pulled a wicked looking shotgun from a pile of refuse, "We have to collect that data."

* * *

"Look at the ceiling," Garrus murmured, "More of those strange pods."

It had been nearly an hour since they had come across the collector on the operating table and discovered the link that so closely connected the Protheans with the Collectors. They still had yet to run into another living being, alien or otherwise.

Garrus had been trying to keep a running count of just how many Collector pods they had run into over the course of their mission and was already well into the hundreds.

Jack's voice was flat as she walked behind him, "How many do you think are full?"

"Too many."

Up ahead, his commander broke her silence for the first time since her order to move out. He could detect the subtle tensing in her shoulders, the rigid posture with which she held herself. Garrus couldn't remember the last time he had seen her so entirely focused on the task at hand, efficient to the point of being nearly cold. Since her return from the dead she had been very emotional, sometimes even haphazardly so, it was very different from the control she exuded at this moment.

The memories lay in stark contrast with this current reality.

_"I am detecting no signs of life inside those pods, Shepard. It is probable that they perished when the ship lost primary power." _EDI's words were hardly likely to inspire confidence.

From the corner of his eye, Garrus watched as Nora paused, her gaze temporarily straying from the path ahead of her to the ceiling where numerous pods hung. And then she had turned her eyes away; her shoulders straight once more as she continued upwards towards the great unknown.

"Commander, you've got to hear this."Joker's voice crackled over the comm. not five minutes later, "On a hunch I asked EDI to run an analysis on the ship."

EDI didn't wait for Nora's response, but Garrus was quick to once more tune into his commander's moods, noticing the telltale pause as she braced herself for the report on the discovery the Normandy VI had made.

_"I compared the EM profile against data recorded from the original Normandy two years ago. They are an exact match."_

This time it was Garrus himself who tensed, anger flooding his system as he recalled the moment he had been told of her death, reliving the mindless rage that had kept him from food and sleep for nearly three days, despite his outer calm. It was only Nora's voice that had him choking back his hate, quieting the violence which seemed to sing so sweetly in his veins.

"The same ship has been dogging me for two years?" Her voice sounded faint, almost removed from the situation entirely as she continued to lead her two companions along the empty corridor, her movements smooth despite the revelation, "That's way beyond coincidence."

"Something doesn't add up Commander," Joker agreed, "Watch your back."

There was a flicker of a smile on Nora's lips at the warning as she turned towards Garrus and Jack. "Don't I always?"

Snorting, it was the younger woman who answered, "You do _now_, Shepard. Now let's go, this place is seriously starting to bore me."

Grinning from beneath her helmet, Nora shook her head, "Of course."

And their mission began anew, the three slowly climbing upwards, higher and higher as they drew closer to the location EDI had marked. Cresting the top of a rise, Nora looked out to see the exterior of the ship, and found herself thankful for the suit she wore.

It wasn't until Jack began to swear that Nora turned back to look at either of her companions, and when she did she quickly realized her mistake; they were still _inside_ the ship.

Looking up, Nora slowly scanned the sheer wall that rose up to meet her gaze, the ceiling that seemed so very far above them.

"That's… big." Jack had stopped entirely, staring upwards at inner chamber that seemed so impossibly large. Every surface seemed lined with the amber colored pods that had littered both Horizon and the hallways of the ship.

"They could take every human in the Terminus Systems and still not have enough to fill these pods. _They're going to target Earth_."

For a moment Nora forgot where she was, _who_ she was, caught in the memory of her childhood on earth. The mega city that now constituted earth's entire surface had hardly been a garden of good memories, but for all of its darkness it was still _home_.

Tearing her eyes away from monstrous structure that sought to dictate the fate of humanity, Nora turned back to the two awaiting her orders. They would follow her, no matter where she went, of that she was certain.

It was her turn to rise to the occasion. And so, Nora did what she did best; she pushed onwards.

"Not if we stop them."

* * *

_"Shepard, this was not a malfunction. This was a trap."_

That was all the warning Nora got before the locking mechanisms on the platform around them exploded and trapping them as it quickly rose in the air.

"Oh. Fuck." Jack swore as she stumbled back from the edge, dropping her own shotgun in exchange for escaping a fall to the chasm that was quickly growing beneath them.

"We could use a little help, EDI," Nora barked as she checked Jack, the younger woman sported a burn along her arm from the explosion, and her face contorted into a tight grimace. Covering them, Garrus stood on alert, his mandibles flaring as he scanned the area to which they were being forcibly moved.

There was no means of escape; they were on an island in the sky.

_"I am having trouble maintaining connection. There is someone else in the system."_

The platform lurched to a halt then, causing another series of curses to issue forth from Jack as she braced herself against the commander. And though neither woman had seen the other platform that rose to meet them, Garrus' growl of warning alerted them quickly enough.

_"Connection reestablished. I need to finish the download before I can override any systems."_

"Then you better get it done fast, EDI." Nora's voice was terse as she handed Jack her older shotgun, drawing the new one from her extra compartment at her side. "We've got company."

The firefight began in earnest, a hail of bullets ringing in the conflict.

"Jack, cover the right." Dashing from one cover to another, Nora watched one of the Collectors begin to glow with the familiar orange light she had seen on Horizon.

_Harbinger._

Grimacing, Nora pulled her shotgun from behind her back and readied a biotic charge.

One… two… three…

She was getting better at managing her ability, cutting the excess use and channeling it so that she could cross increasingly larger distances.

It nearly proved her undoing this time as she appeared several feet behind enemy lines. Swearing as the biotic energy pushed the orange-tinged Harbinger into the air, Nora was forced to duck behind cover instead of making the shot. Her action came just in time as a fury of gunfire heated the air over her head, dangerous in its accuracy.

Ducking around a corner, Nora leveled the shot gun and downed two more drones before she had to make a dash to another series of crates. Behind her an inferno of orange flame marked where Harbinger was fighting against Jack and Garrus.

Swearing under her breath, Nora exchanged her shotgun for her heavy pistol and removed another Collector Drone just in time to see another platform full of Collectors approach.

"EDI! Get us out of here!"

_"I am simultaneously fighting Collector firewalls in 8,000 nodes." _EDI's ever calm voice seemed entirely wrong as Nora ducked to avoid several heated blasts from enemy lines, and returned with a salvo of biotic shockwaves. _"I am tasked to capacity."_

"Then find somewhere to squeeze us in!" Nora snarled, leveling her shotgun and firing a quick succession of shots. Gunfire glanced off her shields, landing harmlessly for as long as the charge in her shield could hold.

Clearing the second platform, Nora had just started towards the newest arrival when her shields failed, forcing her down.

"Give me a status report, Garrus." Her orders were short, barked in the heat of the moment.

"Your left flank is all clear but Jack is having a bit of trouble on the right, her injury isn't helping to keep her thinking straight."

Nodding, Nora moved towards the young woman's position, "I'll get it. Sit tight and keep that side locked down, ok?"

The only way she was going to be able to get to Jack would be _through_ Harbinger. The heavy weapon on her back dug between the plates of her armor just in time to remind her of her options.

Jack had been more than a little pleased to see her despite her pithy comment, 'great fucking timing' which was probably as close to a 'good job' as Nora was going to get from the mouthy biotic.

It was short work after that, the Collector Beam Rifle was even more deadly than the conventional weaponry, if just because Collector armor was designed to withstand 'friendly fire.'

That didn't mean Nora wanted to stay aboard any longer than necessary, the Normandy already hard orders as to their pick-up location.

Watching as Garrus hauled Jack to her feet, Nora bent down to retrieve the other woman's shotgun. Only a few feet away, the commander covertly surveyed the remaining damage that the medi-gel hadn't fixed on her two companions and grimaced. Neither of them was complaining much, but that didn't ease her guilt. Garrus sported burn marks across his armor, and blood oozed from the already scarred side of his face, Jack sported abstract burn patterns along her arm as well as the partially treated shoulder wound.

Swearing under her breath, Nora took point, her anger at the Illusive Man held at bay only by her desire to see both Jack and Garrus to the medical ward. No doubt she would have a few choice words for the older man when they got back to the ship. But for the moment she would keep her feelings leashed.

"Come on, we're getting out of here."

* * *

_"We're out of time, Commander! We have to go!"_

Of course leaving couldn't be that simple, _wouldn't _be that simple. Every message from Joker and EDI seemed to bring bad news, part of her almost wanted to turn her comm. off and see if the mission would go according to plan _without_ their commentary.

Nora pushed both Garrus and Jack into the shuttle as she fired a barrage of bullets at the Collectors amassing behind them.

"You heard the man – everybody on the Normandy! Move!"

Then she was alone, racing up to the helm of the ship, listening as Joker struggled to evade the large beam cannons of the very functional Collector dreadnought. It was only when EDI had made a blind jump into space that Nora went back to check on her crew members, bringing with her the additional medi-gel kit she would need for Jack.

* * *

"Chakwas?"

Nora was pensive as she dragged the younger woman through the door, knowing Garrus would follow behind because she had ordered him to. Joker had sped the Normandy away the moment the team had arrived back on the ship, and Nora could not have been happier.

"I need you take a look at Jack, Garrus too."

"Of course, Commander."

The doctor gestured to one of the cots as Nora marched the younger woman to the bed and forcibly sat her down, her severe expression daring the other to protest.

For once Jack remained silent.

"I'll be back in an hour to check up on them – have Joker interrupt my meeting if anything serious turns up, ok?" Her voice was tight with anger, jerky as she strove to sound normal.

The medic nodded, already getting to work

"Shepard."

Garrus' voice made her pause, drawing her smoldering gaze, as she took note of the blood that ran down the side of his head. All three of them had varying levels of injuries, but Garrus had been the one to complain the least. He had never liked calling attention to himself if it could be helped. Her hands curled into fists, fighting the desire to reach up and touch him.

"Be sure Chakwas takes a look at you, Garrus."

For a moment her anger abated, leaving only an echoing of self-recrimination as she took responsibility for his injuries. It hurt to know she had stumbled so badly into a trap.

But the fault was not hers alone. She had experience enough to recognize it, and anger enough to confront the man who may have cost her Jack's biotic ability. Blue eyes momentarily flickered back to the young woman currently under Chakwas' care.

At least the blood had congealed on Jack's shoulder.

"I'll be back."

Then she left, more than ready to give the Cerberus executive a piece of her mind, and with a deep breath she let her anger off its leash.

Nora was livid as she entered the meeting room, and nearly exploded with rage when at last the Illusive Man appeared before her.

"You had better have a damn good reason why I shouldn't just take the ship and cut all ties with you now, you traitorous bastard!"

The Illusive Man watched her silently as she seethed, "One of my crewmembers was seriously wounded, and I swear I will _kill_ you if do anything like that again."

Pointing an accusing finger at him, Nora nearly shook with rage, "How _dare_ you say that information is your business and then feed me the shit that you did. It was a goddamn trap and _you_ let me bring my team right into the thick of it!"

"We're at war. The Collectors are taking humans, and every minute we waste is one more we give the enemy to prepare."

"I _know_ the stakes," she thrust a finger at the silvery scars that still shone on the surface of her face, "But we're supposed to be on the same side and I can't trust you!"

"The information EDI collected from the ship – without it we can't reach the Collector home world. And you and every other human may as well be dead." He stood up, tapping the ashes from his cigarette, "It _was_ a trap… but I was confident in your abilities. And don't forget EDI. The Collectors couldn't have anticipated her."

Nora shrugged off the compliment, her scowl still firmly in place. "For someone who spent a fortune to rebuild me, you sure try hard to get me killed."

"I needed the Collectors to believe they had the upper hand. Telling you could have tipped them off in any number of ways. Besides," he walked around his chair blowing lazy circles into the air, "I wouldn't have sent you in if I didn't think you would succeed."

No doubt this was to be the main difference in their philosophies.

Nora shook her head, "I don't risk people. There are always alternatives."

"You might not like being on the receiving end – but the facts are with me. These sorts of decision have to be made. And more importantly, they paid off – EDI confirmed our suspicions."

He sat back down, apparently done with his small exercise around his chair.

"The Reapers and Collectors use an advanced Identify Friend/Foe system for the relays to recognize. All we need now is to get our hands on one of these iFFs."

Frustration paired itself with anger, "I was just _on_ a Collector ship, why didn't you say anything about it then?"

"Like I said, EDI _just_ confirmed it. Besides you wouldn't have had the time. In any case, we have options."

The Illusive Man took a long drag from his cigarette and exhaled, "An Alliance team has recently found that the Great Rift found on the planet Klendagon is actually an impact crater from a mass accelerator weapon."

Nora had never been one for planetary studies and so the names and locations meant next to nothing. The fact that the Illusive Man could continue to talk to her about these things while downing a glass of vodka was not lost on her.

"A very old mass accelerator. I sent a team to find either the weapon or its target. They found both. The weapon was defunct, but it helped us calculate the flight path of the intended target - a 37 million-year-old derelict Reaper. It's trapped in the gravity of a brown dwarf."

Hardly convinced, Nora took everything with a grain of salt. "I take it this isn't going to be a simple 'swing by and pick up our package.'"

Ever full of answers, the Illusive Man took another drag from his cigarette, having finished his drink.

"We lost contact with the Dr. Chandana's team shortly after they boarded. Initial reconnaissance revealed no clues, and it was too risky to commit more resources – but now we need that IFF."

Nora said nothing, _promised_ nothing. As it was the Illusive Man had yet to finish.

"I'll forward the coordinates to Joker. In the meantime – I suggest t you tell your crew I didn't risk their lives unnecessarily. It will make things _easier_ going forward."

Commander Shepard merely smiled thinly, "I'm sure it will – EDI, log me out."

* * *

"Garrus?"

She was supposed to have called a meeting, but she wasn't in the mood. Not now, not with all this pent up anger running as rampant as it was. Sighing, she walked amidst the medical equipment trying to sort out her thoughts enough to focus on what it was she was doing here.

It took her longer than she would have liked.

As it was, it was only when she realized the ward was empty that she felt more like her usual self. Strange that it would be this difference that would help her find balance. Nora had come to expect Chakwas' presence in the ward almost as much as she expected EDI.

She had also half expected to see Jack here, all bandaged up and resting. Still, the thought of the other woman obeying _any_ order other than when it suited her was… unlikely. Mentally making a note to go and check on Jack down in Engineering, Nora walked through the empty mess hall towards the familiar set of doors that opened to Garrus' room.

Well, she amended silently, it was _technically_ the main battery, but it had long since been synonymous with Garrus in general. The first of only two places he would ever visit, this time when she checked she did indeed find him within, sleeping atop the makeshift cot he had set up in the corner.

A part of her wondered if he didn't feel cramped in such a small space, her eyes taking in the way he seemed to dominate the short mattress he had found.

_Then again…_

Taking another look, Nora realized the thin cot was actually 'human' sized and not actually an oversized pillow like she had initially thought.

"Nora?"

His eyes opened the moment her hand brushed the side of his face, light colored eyes piercing through the dim lights.

"Hey," smiling softly she knelt down by the edge of his bed, "I said I'd be back, didn't I?"

Chuckling, he rose up until he was sitting down, groaning a little as he stopped laughing, "You really have a knack for making me smile at the worst times, don't you?"

"I'm working on it." Nora teased gently, "Can't let you get too suave, what with saving me and Jack back there, you might get a big ego."

"Me?" Garrus appeared for a moment the image of absolute innocence before he returned to normal his hand gently coming out to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, "Never, not for something like that."

"No?"

Something passed behind those light blue turian eyes, but he said nothing,

"Garrus?"

He moved slightly, providing enough space next to him on the small cot. She didn't bother asking, just stood and took her place beside him, leaning comfortably against his larger frame, her head finding the comfortable ledge of his cowl. His arm was around her immediately, wrapping around her shoulders companionably.

"I really do mean it Garrus," she spoke after a while, "I appreciate you staying level-headed back then, on the Collector vessel."

Looking straight ahead rather than at him, she didn't see the look he gave her, but felt it when his arm slipped lower, looping around her waist tentatively tightening.

"You never have to worry about that Shepard, not anymore, not from me."

Smiling faintly, Nora looked at him out of the corner of her eye. What she found there was a blend of emotion almost too complex to understand, and yet the flutter in the pit of her stomach suggested she recognized at least part of his look.

"Nora."

She found herself suddenly face to face with him, her hands immediately finding purchase against his chest as she perched on his lap.

They had both agreed to take it slow, had known that the damage wrought by a two year absence could not be swept under the proverbial rug. Still, the way he touched her elicited all the familiar comforting feelings she now had memories for.

The strength of his arms came around her waist as he held her close once again, contented only by the fact that now he could look her directly in the eyes.

"I missed you."

The comment might have been entirely incongruous with their situation had Nora not felt exactly the same way.

"I never meant to leave," she admitted without necessity, "I was supposed to come back after that mission and pick you up that following week." Her smile was filled with teasing melancholy, "I had it saved in my calendar and everything."

"The first year was hard." Voice gruff, Garrus reached out to touch the side of her face, "The second year was worse."

"I'm… so sorry." There was nothing she could say to change what had happened, but she wished with all her heart that she could.

"I blamed myself," Garrus admitted quietly, "After reading the reports… I couldn't _not_, there were things I knew… it might have made a difference."

He exhaled loudly, touching her cheek tenderly as he recalled a past she couldn't see, hadn't experienced. Her heart ached for him, knowing that the two years he had spent in guilt had felt more like a moment of rest for her, gone in the blink of an eye.

"There was a funeral for you, did you know that?"

Nora didn't know what to feel, whether to be taken aback or amused. Garrus read the surprised on her face and chuckled.

"I hate to break it to you, but it was hardly the private affair I know you'd prefer. They had all the council members there and it was televised all across the 'net. It broke the record too. Your funeral was the most watched event in galaxy history."

Nora made a pained noise in the back of her throat, but didn't interrupt.

"I think the worst of it though, was that they put flowers around your empty casket. It was _so_ not the stylish thing to do."

"They were pink weren't they?" Nora teased, the humor helping remove the gloom that hung in the air around them, threatening to suffocate them should they falter.

"They started using images of you in Alliance recruitment within a month of your funeral you know."

Nora smiled, "Jacob told me about those. Composites weren't they?"

"Eventually, yeah." The words were a growl, "The last time I saw the ad, they had made your waist two sizes too small. I couldn't understand why though – smaller waists aren't as supportive."

_Was he telling her he liked the size of her waist? _Nora bit back a grin; no doubt interspecies relationships would be more popular if word got out that turians liked women of ample waist measurement.

Instead she brushed the damaged side of his face, replying "It's a human thing, I don't understand it either."

He wasn't able to smile at her in the traditional sense, but the expression on his face was familiar enough that she recognized if for what it was.

"This is a step in the right direction, don't you think?"

"You mean going on a suicide mission backed by a known terrorist group?" Garrus managed a shrug, "It could be better."

Nora laughed, "You're still bitter over the fact we avoided that antique shop at the Citadel aren't you? But seriously…"

"Seriously huh?" Garrus suddenly seemed to turn pensive, looking down at her with such perplexing intensity that Nora had no idea what to make of it. It scared her, his lack of response.

"This… us…" She gestured to the two them helplessly, as she swallowed, half afraid to speak.

"It'll be fine." His arm tightened around her, "We'll figure it out, Nora. We did once before, we'll do it again. Besides, don't think I'd be so willing to go on this suicide mission without a reason to get back alive, huh?"

His words rendered her momentarily mute, her eyes wide as she internalized his words, their implications.

"Garrus…"

His hand came up, brushing her cheek, sliding easily through her hair before gently tilting her head upwards.

"We'll figure it out, Nora."

The press of his forehead against her own was comforting, and her eyes fluttered shut at the contact. Warm, she relaxed into his embrace and savored the contact for as long as she could.

As it was, she had to pull away a moment later, too soon by both of their standards, forced to answer EDI as she prompted the Normandy's arrival back on Illium.

"I should be back in a couple hours." She promised, "Routine in and out, I have to talk to Samara but it shouldn't be too hard with Liara's help."

"I should be coming with you." He groused.

"After the last mission?" Nora shook her head, arms crossing over her chest, "You recover first."

"Anything I should do while you're planet side?" He asked then, already pushing off the cot and moving towards his usual place at the battery terminal.

She smiled, "Check with EDI about some equipment that went missing in engineering and see if it isn't somehow connected to whatever Mordin says was 'stolen' from him yesterday. Ever since we left the Citadel things have been going missing, and I don't like it."

Garrus grinned back, "I'll see what I can do."

Nora turned to go.

"Oh, and Shepard?" Garrus' voice made her turn.

"Hmm?"

Light blue met purple and held.

"Be careful."

* * *

The door closed before she could answer.

"What the hell happened?"

The mission had taken nearly three hours more than expected, and when the small shuttle had finally returned to the Normandy there was a conspicuous vacancy that no one could ignore.

No one, that is, except Miranda.

Garrus struggled not to rip the operative's head off when she refused to meet his gaze, coldly shouldering past him as he arrived. Turning instead to speak to the drell, Garrus drew up to his full height, half daring the other to try and avoid his question.

"Thane, where's Shepard?"

"We were forced to leave Commander Shepard planet side. She-" He rephrased his thought, "We were ordered to come back to the ship. But she stayed behind for tests."

"Tests?"

There was a dangerous quality to the way Garrus' voice softened and his eyes sharpened.

"With all of the damage caused by the red sand we were exposed to, her biotic powers are not hers to control right now."

"How the fuck did the three of you get into that much red sand?" Jack cut in, her delicate features expressionless as she leaned against a large bulkhead, her arm heavily bandaged and tinged a faint pink, "I would understand if you were a non-biotic, but biotic users don't respond to the drugs because they're already capable of using mass effect fields."

The fact that both Miranda and Thane, both of whom had biotic powers, were unharmed illustrated just how much their commander must have use herself as a shield.

Thane remained silent as he met Garrus' penetrating stare, calm despite the tension that seemed to roll off the turian in great waves.

"She said not to follow her." Thane's voice was controlled as Garrus turned, knowing that he was headed for the shuttle launch. "The commander's words are…"

"She's not _just_ the commander." Garrus snarled as he saw Miranda appear behind the assassin, "She's my best friend, I'm not leaving her there alone."

"Officer Vakarian, as Shepard's second I am obliged to hold you to the commander's orders should you try to ignore them." Miranda's expression was cool as she crossed her arms.

Garrus almost snarled at her, but stopped himself short. Instead, he drew his sniper rifle from the nearby locker and settled it on his back. Not taking his eyes off the Cerberus operative, he almost smiled before turning to pull the assault rifle out of its lower compartment.

And when at last he was entirely armed, he nodded in the direction he was headed.

"I'm going, whether or not you want me to. I won't leave her alone."

"She gave us a direct order. None of us can disobey that!" Miranda's voice grew sharper as she took several steps towards him, walking past Thane until she was scarcely five feet away.

Garrus really did smile then, "I seem to have missed that particular order, so I suppose it's my duty then to ask her."

"Don't mock me Officer Vakarian!"

"Then _don't_ order me around." His voice was deadly serious as he stared down at her, "Don't ever mistake my loyalty to Shepard for loyalty to you."

The woman didn't seem to realize how very close he was to slipping that final inch off the edge. _If she even attempted to stop him… _his claws flexed slowly at his sides.

Watching as her hand slowly began to glow with biotic energy, Garrus narrowed his eyes, "I'd like to see you try."

"I second that." Jack seemed to materialize at his side, fixing the other woman with a cold stare, her eyes flickering to the drell only momentarily.

"Get going."

She jerked her head towards the shuttle door, sending Garrus on his way, before she turned to look at the Cerberus agent, her own hands flaring with greater biotic strength.

Smiling, Jack took a step forward.

"So… who wants to go first?"

* * *

He was at her bedside within the hour, arguing his way through to the special circumstances ward where Nora had been moved. He found her room easily enough, though what he discovered within seemed painfully familiar.

"Nora?"

She looked up at him through fever bright eyes, her hair damp as she breathed shallowly. She had forced herself to remain seated upright despite the bed the doctors had given her. Closing the door behind him, Garrus watched as her eyes tried to focus on him and failed, strained by the conflict that waged within her.

Garrus doubted that she recognized his face, but when her hand tightened on his, it was as if the two years between them had disappeared and they were back on the Citadel in those tumultuous days following Sovereigns defeat.

_In retrospect very little had changed since then…_

Very little had changed about her, he had known that the moment he had seen her through his scope, and if she was to be trusted, then very little had changed with him too. He smoothed back her hair gently, tucking the curling strands behind her soft human ear as he crooned to her softly.

_So what was stopping him?_

Nora gently pressed her forehead against his, lips curling into a small smile despite the pain behind her eyes. She would have recognized his voice anywhere.

"Fancy meeting you here."

"You should be resting," he spoke softly, touching the gentle curve of her back, the tense muscles in her shoulders, "The doctors said that sleep will help."

"Can't." She spoke softly, hands white-knuckled as she clenched tightly, "Hurts too much.

"How much longer until it's out of your system?" Garrus wanted to know, pulling her closer when she grit her teeth against another wave of pain.

"Don't know… depends on…" she breathed hard, "… how much red sand was in those toxic clouds… went through… a lot."

"And they can't give you anything for the pain?"

Laughing breathlessly Nora struggled to look at him, "Might cause complications."

Garrus watched with concern as she paled, her hands clenching again with such force that he believed she would draw blood.

"What sort of complications?"

"Nervous system over load - a seizure." She smiled faintly, "Not too bad right?"

"Mordin might be able to figure something out." Garrus said as he carefully shifted her in his grip.

"No… don't do that. He..." She clutched the front of his armor as she suddenly gasped sharply, making a final sound of distress as she finally collapsed, physically and emotionally overwrought.

_He had to get her to Mordin; he couldn't stand to see her like this. _

"Officer Vakarian, was it?" The Asari doctor was the one who had finally allowed him access to Nora's room in the ward. She looked up at him with a smile as he approached her once more.

"Was there something we could do for you?"

"I need you to give me custody of my commander, there's someone who might be able to treat her, but we need to get her to him quickly."

"This person… he can't just come here?" Frowning slightly, the doctor looked down at her data pad. "Her condition is not easily dealt with, so her transportation anywhere could be hazardous, for both yourself and Shepard."

"I understand that the red sand will make her biotic powers… stronger and less controllable." Garrus replied impatiently, "If I were to bring an equally powerful biotic to somehow contain her abilities, would that make travel possible?"

The Asari seemed to consider her notes for a moment longer, before turning towards him, her expression gentle, knowing.

"I don't have to tell you to be careful with her, do I?"

"No." Garrus could barely push the words out, his voice gruff with emotion, "No, you don't."

He disappeared out the front door without another word, his mind racing as he spotted the comm. terminal. About to radio Jack, he was approached by yet another Asari before he could begin the call.

Dressed in red armor that bore the marks of hard battles, the look in her eyes was filled with the knowledge of centuries. He knew almost immediately who she was.

"You are Samara?" Garrus had read her dossier shortly before Nora had taken the shuttle back to Illium.

"You are one of Commander Shepard's crewmembers?" Stopping an ample distance away, she gave him an assessing look, her pale eyes penetrating, "She had only just accepted my oath when she collapsed. I had stayed with her, to contain her abilities."

As a turian, Garrus had very little information on the rituals of the Asari Justicar, but the mention of Samara's ability to contain Nora's wayward biotic skills caught his utmost attention.

Moving back towards the hospital, Garrus gestured her to come along. "I need your help."

* * *

"Most awful timing. Busy with new tests on Collector genome. Messages to family. Still looking for solution to Shepard's other problem. Am not prepared to deal with biotic issues of this magnitude."

Mordin's lab was a riot of experiments, the doctor running nearly half a dozen all at the same time when Garrus and Samara arrived back on the Normandy, their unconscious commander lying limply in the turian's arms.

Only partially paying attention to what Mordin was going on about, Garrus surveyed the room with momentary distaste, the only free space a medical table that reminded him too much of the one they had found on the collector ship.

"I need a sedative Mordin, that's all." Deciding against placing his commander on the cool metallic surfaces around him, he kept her close to his chest. "I'm not asking you to cure her. Just something to keep her knocked out until the red sand is out of her system."

"Will require extensive testing," the salarian seemed to bemoan the idea, "Rushing delicate procedure could prove… disastrous. No time, must finish experiment Miranda asked of me. Too important for-"

"Damn Miranda!" Garrus cut him off with a snarl, "Shepard needs a _second_ of your time."

'_Most intriguing.'_

The Salarian seemed to freeze as he watched the larger predator walk through his lab; the small human woman held protectively against plates and curved talons. That Garrus had chosen to shelter her in such a way gave Mordin more than enough evidence for preliminary observations.

_'Protective instincts impressive for other non-species, most likely due to familiarity though gender also a likely factor. Commander Shepard is human female, more vulnerable than turian; likely difference is drawing stronger responses from interested male.'_

Motioning to the one free table he had to offer, Mordin went in search of his basic doctor's case, mumbling to himself as he continued to spy on the unusual couple in his midst.

_'Elevated levels of aggression typical in turian males seeking to protect bond mate from harm, but no marks on Commander suggest equivalent status. Will require further research.' _

And though Garrus knew nothing of the salarian's inner thoughts Samara couldn't help but come to a similar conclusion, smiling slightly as she looked at Mordin and felt as if she was looking at a strange, albeit kindred spirit.

Truly the universe moved in mysterious ways.


	10. Chapter 10: Ghost

**AN: **Hello All! So I know it's been FOREVER since I've last updated, so I wanted to take a moment and say sorry. RL seems to make everything more complicated, and so this chapter took much longer than I had planned. I hope you can understand, and if I've disappointed some of you, I'm very VERY sorry. As for those of you who continue to stick around, thank you so much for your support and continued feedback. I write for fun, but those of you who comment, add this story to favorites/alerts really make the process that much more rewarding. Also, a shout out to my editor **Zepheera** for her continued hard work and patience with me when I took so long :) It means a lot to have your feedback!

I hope you all enjoy the latest chapter, and as always constructive comments are more than welcome!

Much love,

Voi

_

* * *

_

_She was burning alive, skin blistering as just below the surface of her skin some unseen biotic fire consumed what was within. _

_Surrounded by liquid fire, unceasing in its consumption, great waves of pain rose to meet her heedless of her pain. Drowning, she couldn't breathe and every struggling gasp filled her lungs with fire rather than air, smothering her. She writhed in pain, trying to get away with no avail. _

_The roaring of the fire was deafening, making it impossible to think, forcing her only to _feel.

_And there was nothing, only a dark void, and an inky blackness that loomed before her, threatening though she did not know with what._

It was then that she heard someone call out to her, a friendly voice that was comforting in its strange familiarity. Female, though not recognizably either Jack or Miranda, she doubted either one of them could sound quite so cheery.

'_Hey Shep… you there?'_

Nora opened her eyes slowly, and found herself looking up at a face she recognized.

"Oh dear, you're not looking too peachy are you, Shep?"

Blinking slowly, reality rushed up to meet her.

"It's you… Citadel, right?"

Nora's voice was rough from disuse and she coughed to try and clear it.

A smile ghosted across the other woman's lips as she left the bedside, perching on a small chair at the other end of the room, "My name is Kasumi Goto, a pleasure to formally meet you Shepard."

Nora tried to lift her hand up to offer a handshake but could barely wiggle a finger. Between the surprise at her body's lack of response and the fleeting sense of panic that went with it, Nora nearly missed Kasumi's easy smile of understanding.

"Ah don't worry about it, Shep; you're not exactly at a hundred percent right now. Besides," The smile on her face seemed more of a grin, "handshakes are for squares."

"Really?" Nora felt the corners of her lips tug upwards but couldn't muster the strength to shoulder past the pain for a full smile, "I'll have to remember that."

The door of her room slid open then; and though it was some time before her eyes could focus properly on the figure in the doorway, when they did Nora smiled fully, if only for just a moment. Struggling upwards, Nora managed to rise to a seated position, grimacing at the sudden wave of exhaustion that came with such little movement.

"Ah, Thane was it?" Kasumi's expression was lost to Nora as the other woman turned towards the drell, "Isn't it a bit unusual for you to be wandering around? You're not one to leave Life Support."

The assassin took her comments in stride, nodding to Shepard before addressing the newcomer.

"I merely wished to check on my Commander. It is admittedly partially through my own fault that she came to such harm."

Shepard cleared her throat as she attempted to move her hand once again, felt the startling burning in her fingertips when she pushed too hard. Hand throbbing, Nora sighed as she stopped, momentarily surprised to see the soft fabric of her pajamas.

"Thane this is – "

"Kasumi Goto, yes, I am familiar with her. There was surprisingly little information about her on the information channels." He flashed a smile down at her as he took a seat beside her bed, "She has been onboard since the Citadel, I believe."

The woman seemed to pout, "Oh that's no fun."

"Then I apologize for spoiling it for you." Thane apologized formally as he folded in hands in his lap. Yet his spoken rigidity was offset by the still bright look in his eyes, a humor that was as rare as his smiles. It was only when he sidled up beside her, allowing her to rest against him that Nora realized just how appallingly exhausted her body remained.

Warm hands were on her immediately, gently settling her against her pillows, pulling thin blankets up around her. Eyes barely open by now, Nora struggled to remain conscious.

"The crew has made room for Samara aboard the Normandy and while I don't doubt that you will need to speak to her, she is not the only one."

Thane spoke soothingly as he patted her, smoothing the hair away from her face, "There is one in particular who has been most anxious for you to awaken."

Kasumi giggle crossed the room, "You're talking about the turian, Garrus, right? I _knew_ it, he _is_ sweet on her!"

Above her, Nora could see Thane's lips flicker into a slight smile over his otherwise solemn expression and laughed softly, her own relaxed for the first time since waking. Her amusement allowed her to fight the thralls of sleep for a moment longer, "How long have I been out?"

Another enigmatic smile passed over Thane's face, "I will leave _him_ to answer you. I do not think you would be glad to hear such things from me."

"You mean Garrus, don't you?" Kasumi's excited voice once more permeated the air, "He came in a while ago so he is due back soon."

The doors to the room slid open then, the metallic hiss drawing three sets of eyes; but the person who walked through the door was distinctly _not_ turian.

"Miranda."

Nora's voice was carefully bland as she spied the woman, taking in the tense shoulders and slight frown on her lips.

"I take it you want a private meeting, now."

"That would be best." Her tone left no room for argument, and Nora really was too tired to begin fighting now.

Thane's hand brushed her shoulder as he stood, silently directing the thief out of the room as well. Still locked in Nora's penetrating gaze, Miranda grimaced at the now deafening silence. The door slid closed, leaving just the two women.

"Alright then," Nora's hand gestured to the seat Kasumi had just vacated, trembling slightly at the exertion of that brief action. "What is this about?"

Brief flashes of the most recent mission flashed before her eyes, forcing her to recall the decisions which had led to her current position.

Miranda, it seemed, remembered similarly, and the perfect woman folded her hands on her lap as she began to speak.

"Do you remember the conversation I had with you several weeks ago?"

Nora would have smiled if she had felt in better humor, "The one about me doing my best to avoid any neurological damage?"

There was clear irritation on the other woman's face now. "Yes. That discussion."

"I didn't make any promises to you, Miranda, I haven't broken any oaths."

"You endangered yourself, and in the process have put this entire mission at risk." Brown eyes shone fiercely with accusation, "Mordin had to run another battery of tests after you were brought in. The results will take time, but until then it's imperative that you refrain from testing your biotics. Not that you have any to use, mind you. "

The stark exhaustion that had so plagued her since waking suddenly made more sense; and the implications were disturbing.

"I'm biotically empty right now, aren't I?" Nora's mind raced to try and understand the limitations that would come without being with the once excessive powers. She couldn't say she was an expert on biotic energy on any level, but she felt the differences .

_Exhaustion would, no doubt, be the biggest hindrance_.

"The Illusive Man has requested that you avoid using your biotic abilities until Mordin has assessed the damage and found a way for you to use them when your natural reserves replenish themselves."

"So you want me to run the same types of missions I've been doing up until now, without them?" Nora felt angry, tired and more than willing to prove to be her usual stubborn self. Where her lack of strength had prevented her from starting an argument at the onset of the conversation, her weakness proved to be fertile ground for anger now.

"Tell me, just when was it that you decided to make yourself concerned for my wellbeing?"

Miranda's lips pressed into a grim line.

"There is no substitute in leadership; the Illusive Man has been clear about this from the start. The fact that you continue to seem so ready to run headlong into danger no matter the warnings only makes my job that much harder."

"Is there anything else I should know?" The tension had begun to settle into the muscles of her back and shoulders.

Miranda said nothing as she rose from her seat and crossed the room, standing just at the edge of Nora's bed. Putting a small bottle of pills on the bedside table, the Cerberus operative seemed suddenly resolute, her perfectly formed hand clenching by her side. It was only when she was almost at the door that Miranda answered the question, her words almost worried and a sharp contrast to her grim expression.

"Just be careful, Shepard. We don't have time to bring you back from the grave a second time."

The door closed with a soft hiss a moment later and it was then that Nora's temper made itself known. Sharp painful jolts tore through her nervous system as her body sought for the biotic expression she was incapable of performing, leaving her gasping until the pain gave way to anger.

_Damn it all. Miranda, Cerberus, her screwed up biotic powers…_

Nora swore, now entirely unable to sleep despite the way her body trembled for need of rest. The longer she lay in bed, the more her anger grew, and so she forced herself to straighten her back, to move her legs towards the floor. Pushing the sheets away from her body had her sweating with effort, but she _had_ to move, had to do something, _anything_, to stem this tide of anger and frustration she felt so deeply.

There always seemed to be conflicts in her line of work, always extraneous complications that promised to leave her hanging dangerously at the most inopportune times. The next mission would, no doubt, be yet another perfect accident waiting to happen; without her biotics, she felt handicapped.

"_Wonderful_."

Nora staggered away from her bed, casting an untrusting eye at the small canister Miranda had left there, silently reading the note that rested beside it.

_Take four daily, two in morning, two before bed. Very important, must not forget._

Mordin's voice seemed to chastising her even as she stood alone in her room. Nora didn't doubt that the medicine would help with the heavy pain that wracked her body, but she had never been one to enjoy taking pills for anything.

_She'd put it off for as long as she could. Perhaps the anger would sustain her. _

Her lips twisted into a grimace as she took another step away from the bed, only to be stopped once more as the door to her room opened with a now altogether familiar hiss.

All it took was his look of surprise for her anger to abate, if just for a moment.

"Garrus."

She smiled faintly, swaying on her feet but otherwise outwardly strong, unharmed.

Not for a second did he believe her, and his arms gently encircled her waist, encouraging her to take the strength he so freely offered.

She hesitated then, a mixture of stubborn pride and genuine surprise crossing her face. But he was warm, not soft, but solid under her hands, strong enough to hold her when her legs threatened to fail. Though she meant to argue, meant to remind him that she was the commander, she fell asleep before he had finished tucking her into bed.

* * *

She hadn't expected her room to double as a transit center when she had woken up three days ago, in pain and out of biotic powers. But as she watched yet another member of her team enter her quarters unannounced she couldn't help but feel as if this was more a sign of greater group trust than anything else.

"Jack."

The younger woman didn't respond as she passed, merely sat down on Shepard's bed, her sharp eyes avoiding her commander. She had stood in the doorway for nearly ten minutes, before entering, and even now there was a simmering tension in the young woman that Nora could only guess at.

"Something on your mind, Jack?"

Dark eyes darted upwards for a moment before looking away once more, "Shit, that obvious huh?"

Jack had always been withdrawn, hostile to any attempts at kindness. But the months of living together had served Nora well. Even though reading Jack was hardly a walk in the part, the commander couldn't help but grin, "Maybe a little."

Her companion seemed to glower a little then, the frown on her lips turning into a scowl as her hands slowly curled into fists.

"Come on, Jack." Nora said after a while, crossing the room to sit in one of the low couches across from her bed, easing herself slowly down so as to avoid the terrible pain that still had the power to leave her feeling crippled.

"You're here for a reason."

There was another deafening silence before the younger woman spoke, her voice harsh with strain, anger and bitterness.

"I've had enough, Shepard."

Nora blinked, purple-blue eyes not truly comprehending for a moment. There had been many times when she had _known_ Jack was only aboard because of the information she had been promised, but she had almost _assumed_ they had moved past that. She knew they had, the word 'friend' was not as much a stretch of the imagination as it once was. So what had caused this change?

Lips pressed into a grim line, "What makes you say that?"

"I'm sick of it… the Illusive man, the dumb cheerleader... this fucked up mission and my damn _useless_ arm." Jack jerked her sharp chin to where the wound lay beneath thick gauze. "I need an out, Shepard."

"I'm not about to let you jump ship, Jack."

The words were hard, uncompromising, laced with iron will.

"I'm not talking about walking away, Shepard. I'm talking about doing something familiar."

Nora blinked, no longer quite sure she was understanding, "You're saying that you're… homesick? Or is it that you're feeling nostalgic for the good old days when you just killed indiscriminately?"

The commander didn't know whether to feel amused or angry. "I thought you didn't need to do that anymore."

"We can't just become saints because we want to be." Jack responded blandly, "We all have our vices."

Nora's eyes flickered to her bedside table, her lips twisting into a self-depreciating smile, "We do, don't we?"

"That's why I need this, Shepard"

The commander fell silent once more, her mind racing as she considered the possibilities, the different ways with which to deal with the request. Unbidden, Miranda's warnings, her list of complaints, drifted through her mind, making Nora loath to listen to reason.

Purple-blue eyes closed momentarily as she came to a decision.

"Alright." Nora sighed softly, hoping she was doing the right thing. "Here's our problem. The further we move in the mission the more we have to do; and while it was fine in the beginning, we can't keep dragging the entire team around from one planet to the next doing everything like one big, happy family. What we need is flexibility."

Nora watched as Jack's fists slowly uncurled, began to listen.

"Yeah, I get that. What do you need me to do?"

"Take Grunt and Mordin with you, go to Omega." The instructions were spoken slowly, thoughtfully. "I received news about another potential member for the team, and because time is of the essence I can't spare the extra time. I need someone to rendezvous with him and bring him back, no complications and no questions."

"If I'm going to do this mission Shepard I'm not bringing anyone along. Those two will just slow me down."

There was a moment of tense silence; allowing Jack to lead a mission was one thing, _but to do it alone?_

There was no turning back now that the offer had been made.

"I'll have his dossier sent to you," Nora folded her hands resolutely in her lap, "His name is Zaeed Massani. If the report is anything to go by, he's ruthless with a killing streak that I think you'd enjoy."

"No shit?" There was a flicker of a smile on Jack's face as she turned to go, "That almost makes it sound like you're not sending me on a babysitting mission."

"Well I _am_ trying to keep you on your toes," Nora's smile was faint, "Just watch yourself."

The younger woman just scoffed, "As if you need to be the one telling me that."

And as the door closed behind her, Nora tried to convince herself that she wasn't being spiteful towards Miranda as much as she was allowing Jack her freedom.

* * *

Nora walked out of the briefing room feeling more worn out than she would have liked. The mission was quickly coming to a head, and now it sounded like they would be traveling to the center of the universe itself to find the Collectors.

And if such a situation was not complicated enough, both Jacob and Miranda had shown to be of entirely opposite opinions on what to do next, retrieving the IFF or finishing the last of the dossiers. At least Nora had already sent Jack out to complete one of the smaller tasks, it was one small consolation for a woman whose 'to do' list seemed to be ever expanding.

"Commander."

She turned to find Thane once more out of his room on the ship, an uncharacteristic action that was quickly becoming anything but. Strange but as she looked at him Nora was suddenly struck by how very morbidly ironic it was that Thane, who was dying, had decided to take Life Support as his refuge.

Unsure as to why she had thought of such things now, Nora merely smiled.

"Yes, Thane?"

"Kasumi was given a room on the second floor, Siha. She… wishes to speak with you."

Nora smiled, "You're starting to sound like Kelly."

Shifting slightly, the drell seemed to shrug, "The yeoman had attempted to speak with her but was quickly dismissed."

"Really?" Nora was surprised, "Nothing bad happened, I hope."

"I suspect not, the yeoman was in good spirits afterwards. The request for your presence was given to me by Kasumi directly." Thane blinked once at Nora's wide smile.

"You wanted to make sure she settled in?" The Commander couldn't remember the last time Thane had shown interest in anyone else outside of his usual polite questions.

"She had promised to let me borrow the rare books she had brought with her, Siha. I assure you it was most polite."

His expression as such that Nora couldn't help but laugh out loud, linking her arm with his as they made their way to the elevator. Though he didn't partake in her outward humor, the willingness with which he experienced her outward affection spoke louder than words. Thane had never met a woman who reminded him so much of his wife, a woman who had both her sense of justice as well as tenderness. It was for this reason that every moment of careless fun, of lighthearted joy, was as much a memory to be protected as the woman itself.

And though he did not yet know it, when the time came, it would fall to him to heal the damage that would threaten to compromise everything.

* * *

"Hello again, Shep," There was a smile on the other woman's face the moment Nora had walked into the room, "Make yourself comfortable."

Taking the proffered seat, Nora curled her legs under her body, shifting until she was even with the infiltrator's own relaxed sprawl across the couch. The room had changed significantly since Nora had last seen it, a testament to Kasumi's rapid and very unique style of décor. Paper books lined an ornate shelf Nora had never seen before and the wall scrolls looked to be the priceless works of art that only a master thief would own. But what surprised her the most was the well-stocked mini bar that crowded the far end of Kasumi's room, the contents of two crystal decanters already gone.

Turning back to the hooded Infiltrator, Nora returned the bright smile with a more subdued version of her own. "Mordin said that the medicine is thanks to you, the information about it, anyway." She laced her hands in her lap, hands that no longer burned but remained without biotic ability.

"Oh that was hardly a problem, Shepard." The slender thief shook her head, waving the other off, "Besides, I can't say I did it without selfish motives."

"A favor?"

Kasumi's lips twisted into an uncharacteristically tight smile, "Of a sort. I need to get my partner's graybox from a man named Donovan Hock. He took it, and now I'm going to get it back."

"So you're planning a heist of some sort and you need help?"

The smile relaxed, "Yes, exactly right."

"And this man, Donovan Hock, what about him?"

"Mr. Hock is a well-respected _business_ man, arms dealer, murderer, generally not a great guy. And of course, his mansion is famous for being hard to crack."

Nora sighed shaking her head, unable to help the smile on her face, "Why do I have the distinct feeling we're going to try anyway."

Kasumi laughed, "I have a way in, and I think you're going to love it. Besides, I need that graybox more than anything.

The commander sobered, "You said it belonged to your partner?"

"Yes," Kasumi seemed suddenly unable to look at her, "His name was Keiji Okuda, one of the best hackers and entry men I've ever known. Unfortunately he slipped up and made himself infamous, he stole something he shouldn't. He said it could spark interstellar war if it got out, and then that information got him killed."

"You never found out what it was?"

"No." Kasumi shook her head, "But that graybox is all that's left."

Nora nodded in understanding, letting all the information settle. "Do you have any more details about the mission, then?"

"Not at the moment, no. But I should have everything worked out by the time we have to go."

Kasumi smiled again, "It'll be fun, Shep. And if we're lucky you won't even have to draw your gun."

Nora doubted that, but maybe Kasumi would surprise her. Still, there was a lot to consider before Kasumi called her back with further instructions. Getting up, Nora patted Kasumi's slight shoulder on her way out, "I'll help you get it back."

Kasumi called to her before she could go. Stopping just inside the inflitrators' room, Nora's purple-blue eyes pierced the dimness of the room.

"Yes?"

"I took the liberty of buying you eveningwear; you'll need it for the party."

The commander raised an eyebrow, "Party?"

Kasumi grinned, "We're getting the graybox tonight, so you better get ready."

"Tonight." Nora echoed unable to hide her surprise, turning to go. "Alright then. I'll see you in a bit."

* * *

She found the black dress lying on her bed, a very feminine piece if ever there was one. Nora had only to look at the open neckline and the abbreviated length of the gown to know it had been bought with her petite stature in mind, Kasumi's impeccable fashion sense of course. The thief knew how to blend in with the very best, sans cloaking device if need be, it was little surprise she would exercise such skills on Shepard as well.

Still, the thought of entering enemy territory in a little black dress loomed darkly in her mind, there was not, admittedly, much room for one to conceal a weapon in the tightly fitted fabric. No doubt Kasumi would have a solution when Nora spoke to her later. Sighing slightly, Nora began to undress, her hands finding the various clasps, zippers and buckles of her suit with little problem, her mind wandering despite the brisk efficiency of her hands.

Her eyes strayed to where her fish swam lazily in their clear crystal tank.

_She hadn't realized how many types she had swimming in there now… when had she acquired them all?_

Nora couldn't even remember the last time she had bothered to feed them. Then again, Garrus had been visiting more often now that they had started to mend their fractured relationship, perhaps he was the one caring for the little creatures.

The suit fell to the floor with a muffled clatter, the thick plates smothered by the durable overlay.

Mumbling to herself about playing dress up, Nora stepped into the shower to give herself a thorough washing, taking more than her customary ten minutes in order to 'clean up.' Emerging half an hour later revealed a transformation that was all about subtlety. Skin rosy from a rigorous washing, nails clipped and hair properly dried, Commander Nora Shepard looked uncharacteristically youthful.

Not that she considered herself old by any stretch of the imagination, but she looked almost normal when she looked into the small mirror by her closet.

_'Not a soldier, not the first human Spectre… just a normal woman suffering from maybe a little lack of sleep.'_

Momentarily self conscious, Nora poked her cheek and frowned slightly as she gave herself a critical once over. Funny that all it took for her to go from confident human commander to unsure female was the looming presence of a dinner party. At least she didn't have to attend parties very often.

The black dress, when at last she did pick it up was smooth in her hands, and promised to be unforgiving in its fit, skin tight if the material was anything to go by. Giving the slick black cloth a tentative tug, Nora wished immediately for the light silver gown Kelly had let her borrow back on Illium.

Unsure whether she was ready to attempt the dress, Nora lingered for a moment at her bed before turning to the music controls in her room. She needed sound, something, _anything_, to help ease the tension in her shoulders, the exhaustion that lay so close to the surface.

She had always been a sucker for opera. And so as the music began, she let the familiarity of the vocals wash over her, drowning further thought.

That was when the dress came once more into her hands, the soft fabric whispering over skin as the zipper rasped softly, pulling tight.

_Not too shabby for a woman who had, only a few days ago, been ill with the worst case of red sand overdose this side of the Terminus systems. Now if only she could find where she had left those heels…_

She had bent to check under her bed when she found it; not her shoes, but the very small cream colored box she had left virtually untouched since her birthday.

Sitting back on her heels, Nora contemplated the small package in her hand for a long moment, her fingers running smoothly over the paper, lingering at the creases.

_Could she finally open this now that so much had been made clear? There was still so much to be discussed…_

The first small rip in the wrapping proved to be enough to push her onwards, and it was only when she had fully unwrapped the little box, revealing a case of navy lacquered wood, that she once more hesitated. The reflective surface revealed her expression as she peered at the gift, wavering between actions, combating uncertainty.

_Could she do this? Trust in their ability to find the right words, to repair what was damaged?_

Her hands moved of their own accord, as if they alone listened to the desires of her heart rather than the confusion of her mind. Swiftly and without any lingering hesitation she pulled open the lid and gazed at the gift within.

_It was lovely_…

A work of art, for surely the intricate piece could only be described as such, was quite unlike anything she had ever seen or even expected. Smooth, its surface was as reflective as a mirror, and though it's gently sloping face should have distorted the image, her picture remained perfect. Tentatively reaching down to pluck the trinket from its nest, she was startled by the slim chain that trailed from its back. Not a piece of art, but a necklace.

Nora couldn't remember ever having received a piece of jewelry before, ever.

Moving toward the mirror again, Nora attempted to put the necklace on, her fingers fumbling with the strange clasp that kept the necklace closed. Too small to just slip over her head, her forehead furrowed in concentration the longer she tried to work the necklace open.

It wasn't until she caught his reflection in the mirror that she even realized she wasn't alone.

"Garrus?"

The frustration seemed to momentarily melt away, replaced by her surprise.

Lingering in the foyer, the turian hesitated.

Unsure how to deal with her, and with the strange music playing in the background, it was clear to Garrus that this was a side of his commander he was not altogether familiar with. Still, she was being foolish, inconsiderate of the damage that had been to recently wrought on her body for it to be fully healed.

"You aren't supposed to be up." He sounded exasperated as he crossed the room to where she stood, "Sometimes I wonder if you aren't slightly crazy."

"Considering no one believes me about the Reapers, I would say you aren't alone in that sentiment." Nora smiled slightly, shifting so that she could face him.

The sharp flash of the metal in her hand drew his attention, and as recognition dawned he turned his intense gaze back to her face.

"You opened it?"

"Just recently," Her smile faltered slightly, her expression looking contrastingly ashamed and hopeful, "Would you help me put it on? I can't figure out the clasp and – "

He was already standing beside her, carefully untangling the pendant from her hand; and a moment later acting accordingly when she turned, pushing her hair out of the way and presenting him with her neck.

"Nora."

The cool chain slipped around her neck, the intricate metal settling comfortably at her collar.

"Yes, Garrus?"

"Kasumi told me about the mission." His voice was a deep rumble in her ear, "You'll be going in nearly alone, without biotics."

"Yes, I know." Nora turned her head as he finished fastening the necklace, "There's no getting around it. Kasumi needs this done, and we'll have to do it her way."

Garrus didn't respond, merely brushed her shoulder as he gazed at the necklace.

The metal rested over the hollow of her throat, curving protectively, its tapered design finding a perfect fit in the space just above her clavicle. As if somehow this small piece of metal could be the shield she would be missing on this mission, Nora felt a strange tug of emotion as long talons brushed over the surface.

"Be careful this time, Nora."

He had offered up such words before her last mission, a plea to watch herself against all those who sought to end her. This time the words were an order, a gross violation of his rank, but an order nonetheless, rich in passion, desperate to be heeded this once.

"You're not ready for this, not so soon. But I know you and you're going to go anyway." He sighed, pressing his forehead gently against her own, "_Please _watch yourself."

There were still wounds to heal, parts of their relationship that had yet to be renewed. The trust and loyalty was there, the protective instincts that came with caring deeply for another.

'_But was it love?'_

Nora merely closed her eyes against the question, ignoring it by accepting the welcome warmth of his arms, the intimate press of his face to hers.

They would answer that question in time.

"I promise."

* * *

"Well don't you clean up nice?" Kasumi's voice was approving as she caught sight of the slightly awkward commander who had appeared in her doorway. The infiltrator hadn't bothered changing into more appropriate 'party' clothes, but then Nora didn't doubt the woman would disappear the moment they arrived. Not that she was altogether sure where they were going, but if her new black dress was any indication, then it was going to be posh.

"The necklace is a nice touch by the way," Kasumi's smiled seemed to grow, "Turian workmanship is..." her eyes flickered over Nora's shoulder where they both knew Garrus was standing, "very hard to come by. It looks great on you."

Something meaningful seemed to cross the other woman's eyes, but this was neither the time nor the place to ask about it. All the same, Nora smiled faintly, "Thank you."

"So, shall we get going then?" The infiltrator turned towards a bookshelf and pulled several disks from their place in preparation for their journey, "The party isn't until the evening, but between the shuttle ride and the private car we'll be just in time."

Kasumi gestured towards the shuttle bay, "I'll put in the coordinates, Shep. See you in a bit."

There was a flicker of _something_ in Kasumi's eyes again, a pain that ran deep, and though Nora felt as though she recognized it, the hand on her shoulder made her turn around without comment.

"Nora."

The human woman raised a hand to touch his cheek, the now familiar smile playing upon her lips. She knew what he wanted to say, that he wanted the reassurance that this mission was not a mistake.

"I promised, Garrus. I'll see you soon."

Then, like so many times before, she moved past him; risking her life to prove once more that she was the leader this mission needed, deserving of their loyalty. And though he knew she had a mission to complete, Garrus couldn't stop himself from grabbing her arm, and gently pulling her close one final time.

Kasumi said not a word about the commander's slightly mussed hair as she boarded their craft, and merely smiled knowingly at the quiet peacefulness on Nora's face.

"Let's go, Shep, we've got a party to crash. And believe me when I say they don't do fashionably late."

* * *

Location: Omega

He had the little rat squealing when she got there, blubbering really…it was a sound she had long since familiarized herself with, a sound she _craved_. Conditioning had left her with only the scraps of humanity and it was unlikely she would ever bother reclaiming them. Besides, there was something to be said for being a biotic bitch that could kick ass with the best of them.

Jack grinned, her expression demonic as deep shadows carved her delight into a ghoulish mask.

"Hey tough guy, you Zaeed Massani?"

Heavy shoulders stiffened for a moment before the man turned around slowly, his gun at the ready. Though he was older than she had expected, the piercing look he gave her pulled at her, resonated with something within her as like recognized like; one predator meeting another. The milky blue of his right eye appeared to be a weakness to exploit, the scar on his face a reminder that this man was human. But just as they were proof of mortality, so too were they a testament to his ability to survive, and if the numerous scars on his arms and neck were anything to go by, he was one hell of a ruthless survivor.

Jack's hand remained steady, but a thrill made its way down her spine, taunting her with prey that finally proved a decent challenge.

"Who's asking?"

His voice was rough, gravelly.

Jack moved slowly, emerging from the shadows, her lips still twisted into a good humored smirk.

"I am."

The bounty hunter seemed to give her a brief assessment of his own before turning back to the desperate creature struggling in his iron grip.

"I'm busy, sweetheart, go find someone else."

Jack didn't bother thinking, merely reacted as she squeezed the trigger. And as she unflinchingly watched the squealing man fall silent at the impact of her rounds she finally gained the mercenary's undivided attention.

"Not any more you're not." Pleasure made Jack's lips curl into a smirk, "Come with me, I've got a job for you."

* * *

"Alison Gun."

Nora extended her hand, her smile appropriately pleasant yet unflinchingly businesslike as she stared the man in the eye.

"Hock."

The hand that shook her own was large but soft, a contrast to the hardness of her own. A business man against her own role as soldier, it was strangely reassuring that Nora felt very much in her element despite these differences. Earth had taught her how to deal with criminals on their own terms, she had forgotten that.

Looking to her side, Nora nodded the gold statue of Saren towards the towering mansion entrance before glancing to her accomplice.

The ride to the mansion had been most informative for the commander. Her cover, 'Alison Gun', was as much an informational gem as it was a complete fabrication, a testament to Kasumi's skills and an informant. And though she had been warned not to talk business with the charismatic, but ultimately shady weapons dealer they were going after, Nora had recognized more than enough familiarities with her past to feel comfortable with the material.

_"So, want to give me the details on this mission?"_

_They were an hour away from their destination and Nora had yet to hear of any mission specifics, an admittedly common occurrence the more she traveled through the Terminus Systems. Still, the commanding officer didn't like it, and she was sure that the information would come in handy._

_"Kasumi?"_

_The other woman smiled, ever the friendly companion. "I do suppose you've been waiting patiently enough."_

_The cockpit of the small shuttle was suddenly alight with a collection of screens, images of what Nora could only imagine was Hock's compound, among various other images. _

_"As you know, our friend Hock has decided to throw a party for his society friends… a couple dozen of the worst liars, cheaters and mass-murderers you're ever likely to meet. All of them are bringing gifts to tribute to the man himself."_

_Mouth quirking in disgust, Nora remained silent, letting Kasumi continue._

_"Our gift is a lovely statue of your old friend, Saren, rendered in loving detail and filled to the brim with our weapons and armor. Your pistol should be fine, you can keep it with you; they won't hassle you about a sidearm."_

_Fingers flying across the various images, the infiltrator pulled up a close-up of a seemingly innocuous set of hallways and ventilation ducts. "Once inside, we'll make our way to Hock's vault in the back of the ballroom somewhere. Then, we'll case the security and start pulling the layers apart. The statue should be there, waiting for you to arm up."_

_Kasumi grinned jokingly, "_Then_ we just waltz into the vault and take Keiji's grey-box… and I'll get a chance to say goodbye." _

_Nora understood what it was like, to say goodbye to a close friend, a partner in arms. But at the same time, there was something distinctly other about Kasumi's expression, the manner in which they were carrying out this mission. _

_"You've put a lot of thought into this, Keiji must have meant a lot to you."_

_Kasumi's bright eyes shone from beneath her hood. "Was I that obvious?"_

_Nora smiled, "A little. Want to tell me what's in the box?"_

_"Keiji's box is full of priceless personal memories; it's all the remains of who he was."_

_Given the warnings Nora had received in the past about her less than stable ability to store memories, the idea of this particular storage unit was an intriguing idea. Still, she couldn't imagine these pieces of hardware came cheap, or without their own particular brand of problems._

_"Exactly how common do these a grayboxes run, Kasumi?"_

_Shepard couldn't remember such technology in heavy use before she disappeared for two years, and actually she was pretty sure they had been outlawed. Then again, maybe there had been other changes in the universe which she was only just beginning to see._

_"Oh, the boxes?"_

_The master thief seemed to momentarily shake herself, "They are still largely used by those of the underworld who need to gather information. The 2175 Ban is still in effect, so the boxes themselves are pretty rare. Not that there is any lacking in alternative, of course. There are a couple versions that plug into the L5's to capture brain waves."_

_"But all of this is illegal right?" Nora frowned in thought._

_"Yes, very. Not to mention expensive. Still, I can't say I'm without resources." The infiltrator seemed to look at her with increased intensity, "This interests you, doesn't it, the graybox?"_

_Nora shrugged, "I can't deny that I could use one."_

_"There could be complications, you know."_

_Again, the commander shrugged, "At least it would be on my own terms this time."_

_Kasumi seemed to understand well enough the desire, the worth of such memories. But there was a mission they had yet to complete, and this conversation would have to continue at a later time. _

_"We need to get it back, Shep. The mission is personal, that's true. But -." She was cut off as Nora raised her hand. _

_Smiling gently, the commander didn't need to hear the rest of Kasumi's explanation._

_"We'll get it back, Kasumi. Let's go."_

The task of unlocking the vault door took decidedly less work than Nora had expected. Kasumi was, despite Hock's request to the contrary, very much active inside the mansion. And though Nora had had to perform a few feats of social mingling, there had been little awkwardness or problems retrieving the keys that would unlock the vault.

It was only after they had infiltrated the lavishly ornamented warehouse that their situation grew suddenly dangerous, their lives more immediately at risk.

"Oh my god. There it is."

They were standing amongst some of the most priceless art in the universe, sculpture from Palaven, Lady Libertys' head, but Kasumi's singular attention was focused on a small pile of neural implants and weapons.

Picking up the piece that must have belonged to Keiji, Kasumi immediately began to work with her omni-tool, running a set of diagnostic tests to try and unlock what was hidden inside. And yet not a minute had passed when they were interrupted, an all too familiar voice filling the expansive vault.

"Don't bother Ms. Goto, its code locked." Hock's image appeared before the pair, a projection of his face appearing in a towering three story plane. "I had a feeling that was you at the door. I knew if it was really you, you'd get through anyway."

"You know me," Kasumi responded dryly, "I don't like to disappoint."

Donovan Hock ignored the snide comment, "I need what's in your graybox, Kasumi. You know I'm willing to kill you for it."

Understanding that this conversation was more for Kasumi rather than herself, Nora lingered at the table where they had found the graybox, finding her attention otherwise captured by the sleek gun that remained there.

Not bothering to ask, the commander took the weapon, before turning back to the conversation that was quickly getting on her nerves. Looking to test her new toy on something, Nora took aim at a rather beautiful and no doubt fragile vase, it shattered in a brilliant explosion of glittering shards.

Hock immediately began screaming.

"What, did I finally get your attention?" Nora couldn't help but grin as Kasumi laughed beside her. It was a laughter that would continue to echo through the vast expanse of the vault even when it filled with mercenary guards and those of Hock's guests who would seek favors.

Though Hock had done well to spend his considerable fortune on mercenaries who knew how to shoot straight, they were no match for Nora's fondness of her new gun and Kasumi's uncanny ability to disappear altogether.

It was not until they reached the roof of the warehouse that the pair ran into any trouble, this time in the form of a gunship.

"Get down!"

Diving to the side, Nora and Kasumi had scarcely found the necessary cover before the plascrete around them exploded from the force of the attack.

_It was like being on Omega all over again. But this time she wasn't facing an alliance of backwater thugs, and Garrus wasn't at her side._

Trading the rounds in her assault rifle for the warp ammunition she had borrowed from Jack, Nora braced herself breathing slowly as she had been taught all those years ago.

Above the din, she could hear Hock yelling for Kasumi, words that no longer mattered, that would change nothing.

Inhale_._

_Think of nothing, clear the mind, _

Exhale.

_Find the calm amidst the noise, find…_

At her next inhale Nora pushed away from cover, sprinting across the wide open expanse until the barrage of gunfire pinned her down once more. Shields flickering, Nora grit her teeth and fired, killing two of her targets as she avoided fire from the gunship. Pinned down as she was, she took her opportunities when given and had nearly cleared the roof of mercenaries when Kasumi appeared at her side once more.

The gunship continued to be a brutal adversary for both women, and even as Kasumi ducked behind the cover, the damage wrought around them was warning enough.

Pulling her rocket launcher from her back, Nora gave it one cursory glance before setting it beside her.

"Any idea how much damage that ship can take on its shields?"

Continuing to pick off the unlucky mercenaries who still sought to kill them, Nora kept one eye on Hock while she waited.

"If you plan on using force to break the shields I can tell you right now that you don't have enough of it here." Gesturing briefly to the rocket launcher, Kasumi hung back running diagnostics on the gunship. "Though there might be something I can do…give me a second."

Buying the infiltrator the time she needed, Nora reloaded her weapon and continued to fight. Part of her was becoming increasingly aware of her lack of biotics, and the struggle to work without was becoming more difficult. As it was, she held out long enough for Kasumi to spring into action against the gunship.

"I've got a clear shot, cover me." Only barely audible over the rattle of gunfire and explosions, the sharp cutting pressure of the wind against their unprotected faces seemed to only exacerbate the difficulty of their situation.

From the corner of her eye, Nora watched as the infiltrator took off towards the looming crates of ammunitions that projected well above the warehouse roofline. Half lost amidst the smoke, Nora did what she could to cover Kasumi's otherwise unprotected movements. She missed her biotic powers now more than ever, and as she struggled to hold her position the desire to _try_ and use a powerful biotic wave grew ever more appealing.

But no sooner had she tried to summon even the slightest biotic flicker when pain, as raw and searing as flame, swallowed her arm. Choking back a startled scream, Nora braced herself against a thick plascrete wall, forcing her other arm steady as it leveled her assault pistol. The pain was her own fault; it did not excuse the obligation she had to protect Kasumi.

Several feet above, Kasumi darted from one tall perch to another, each time straining higher, towards Hock. Nora had managed to draw him close enough to reach; it fell to Kasumi to immobilize the man. Not that the young infiltrator believed she had to stop there, if she had the chance, she wouldn't hesitate to kill Hock for what he had done.

Catapulting herself into the air, Kasumi grinned at the rush of adrenalin that flooded her system, an expression that she kept as she landed securely on the expensive metal hull of Hock's personal gunship. Omni-tool humming to life in a glow of orange light, it crackled a moment later with blue lightening as she worked to overload shields and render the gunship weaponless.

Below her, Kasumi could see as the commander continued to hold their defensive position, waiting for just the right moment to push forward. There was no time to consider why Nora was leaning so heavily against her cover, but the woman was paying attention to the battlefield and that was all that mattered.

Beneath her hands, the gunships' shields flickered once, twice before it completely evaporated. From within the cockpit Kasumi could hear Hock cursing, and that in itself was pleasure enough. Springing away from the now unstable gunship Kasumi landed on the ground just as it exploded in a shower of flames and metal. A barrage of several missiles had found their target at the hands of the ever-prepared commander.

Launcher still smoking from the attack, Nora approached the other woman, offering a hand up. Hock's sudden death had done little to stop the mercenaries from continuing their attack and the bullets continued to fill the air with their noise and destruction.

"Come on, the shuttle's right over there."

The mad dash to the shuttle came in stark contrast to the impenetrable silence that swallowed them upon their entrance. Gun fire may have been glancing of their hull, but nothing would breach the thick plating. Still, it was only when they had left the mansion on the horizon that either woman spoke to one another; both too tense to do more than plot their path back to the Normandy.

Eventually however Kasumi drifted to the back of the shuttle, and it was only after nearly an hour that Nora heard from her again, her voice strained.

"Shep, could you come here?"

Nora appeared, silhouetted in the light of the cockpit.

"You found something?"

The infiltrator didn't speak again, merely gestured to the man standing behind her, Keiji, or at least, a recording of him; he was talking.

_Kasumi, if you're seeing this, I'm dead._

Images appeared along the wall, conjured by the graybox and Keiji's careful planning.

_The information we found is all here. It's big Kasumi; if the Council ever got wind of this the Alliance could be implicated. Kasumi I…_

Nora watched as the infiltrator turned back to the image of her lover, the woman's body mirroring the pain that her hood had hidden from view.

_I encrypted it to keep it safe, the encryption key is in your graybox, so no one can get the whole package. But if I'm dead…_

There was a wet sheen in Kasumi's dark eyes, their reflection too bright to be anything less than the threatening presence of tears.

_… I've made you a target, my love. I'm so… so sorry. _

"Keiji."

Nora jumped slightly as Kasumi spoke his name, but continued to watch in silence. The graybox contained dangerous information, but what were they to do with it?

_I know you Kasumi; I know you'll want to keep these memories forever. But you don't need a neural implant to know that I'll always be with you. Please, Kasumi, destroy these files. There's nothing more I can do to protect you. _

_Goodbye Kasumi… I love you._

"I…" Kasumi turned to her then, her expression pained, lips trembling. "I can't do that. This is all that's left."

"There's no way to just destroy the information?"

Kasumi shook her head, "Keiji was a master at encrypting files; he laced the information into his memories. You can't get one without experiencing the other."

The decision then was hardly one at all, for Nora knew immediately her response. "If it matters that much to you Kasumi, keep it. Just be sure you're ready to live with the consequences."

There was little to say afterwards, Kasumi turning back to listen to the recording again, this time on her personal link while Nora took a seat at the far end of the shuttle by the window.

_Longing, loneliness, pain._

Nora flinched away from the feelings Kasumi had so openly expressed, part of her very aware of just how familiar those emotions were. Quiet and introspective, Nora sighed softly as she looked outside, trying to sort out her thoughts; there was still so much to do – to say to Garrus, to do for the mission. Kasumi's own personal quest aside, there was a sudden feeling that the end was coming, approaching with a breakneck speed that she wasn't ready for, _her team_ wasn't ready for.

Shuddering slightly, Nora visually traced the veins on the back of her hand, flexing it carefully to check for damage. Her other hand was fatigued, but it was this hand that had borne the brunt of her impatience, her desire for her biotic powers. Mordin would, no doubt, have something to say to her when she got back.

"Shep?"

Nora looked up from her hands, blue eyes flickering in surprise. Kasumi seemed suspended between the present and past, her eyes not quite focused as she called out. Whatever it was the infiltrator had to say was important enough to pull the woman away from the memories of her loved one once more.

"Yes?"

"I owe you… for this." Kasumi's slim hand gently caressed the corner of Keiji's graybox, smoothing some invisible blemish.

Shaking her head, Nora smiled, "The alternative was hardly an option to begin with. Memories are…" Her smile faltered, "Memories are not something that anyone can ever replace, no matter how they try."

"Shepard."

Kasumi was looking her directly in the eyes, her expression serious. "If you're still up for it, I'll help you find a graybox of your own. I'll help you save your memories."

Nora gently flexed her hand appreciating the dull burn before her smile returned to her lips, "I'd appreciate that."

* * *

"Has Jack arrived back from Omega yet?"

Nora's head was still a jumble of careful introspective questions as she strode up to Joker's console.

"Not that I know of, Commander. And if you want the truth I don't even know that she's on Omega anymore. She's gone entirely silent since she landed. No messages, no vids, nothing."

Lips pressing together in suppressed temper Nora wondered, not for the first time, if she had done the right thing sending the young woman on this mission.

'_We all have our vices Shepard… we can't all be saints because we want to be.'_

Nora closed her eyes, pressing the tips of her fingers to the bridge of her nose. She wished she had time to plan, to think of something to do that didn't require their next course of action.

_And she wanted to talk to Garrus…_

All of that would have to wait, Jack had dropped out of contact and Nora would do everything in her power to bring the young woman back.

_Thane had lost his wife, Kasumi her lover, Nora was not about to lose a young woman she considered her family. _

Touching the necklace that still rested against her chest, Nora opened her eyes and nodded. "We don't have a choice. Set a course for Omega; we're going after her."


	11. Chapter 11: Shattered

**AN: **Hello All :) Here's another chapter of SB, the wait was a bit much, but I appreciate that so many have continued to show interest - there are over 100 people on alert now and I'm deeply touched :) Thank you to everyone, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Also, I'm going to keep trying the new format in the chapter to break up scenes, so tell me if that helps!

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize as belonging to Bioware (characters, main plot, etc.)

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* * *

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"She's exhausted." Garrus tried to keep his tone reasonable, but couldn't stop the sharp edge that protective instincts put in his voice. "She still hasn't recovered from the red sand exposure, and then she went on that mission with Kasumi barely three days ago."

Seated before him in her usual meditative position was the asari justicar.

"I do not make this request lightly, Officer Vakarian," Samara's voice was level, "but Shepard has proven herself resilient and a more than capable leader."

"Capable or not, she needs _time._ All of us have been pulling long shifts looking for Jack, and she's been there every step of the way. She needs time to rest."

"I understand your concern, but I have no choice; it is imperative we proceed with this mission as soon as possible. Our objective, this Ardat-Yakshi, will disappear if we do not act soon."

He wanted to argue with her, rail against the indisputable logic that would force his commander to push herself even further, despite the risk of damaging her health. Had she been a turian commander he knew that their mutual duty to the mission could have been enough to keep him quiet; but then again, Garrus had never considered himself to be a good turian. He doubted he would ever willingly allow her burden to grow unchecked.

As it was, her behavior the past couple of days had begun to bother him, and worse, worry him. Leaving Samara, once their conversation had reached its inevitable stalemate; Garrus stepped into the elevator and punched in the code that would allow him access to the commanders' room.

He found her sleeping on her bed, still dressed in her uniform; her skin still too pale to be healthy. Hair plastered to her forehead in sweat-streaked haphazard style, her dark lashes brushed ashen skin that had never fully regained its healthy luster following the disastrous mission back on Illium. And it _could _have, probably _would_ have if missions hadn't suddenly begun to demand her attention, one after another.

She was running on empty, but she continued to give more of herself, unwilling to turn anyone away. Easing himself down beside her, Garrus tenderly brushed the hair from her face. He noted the deep bruises beneath her eyes and the way she slept on, oblivious to his presence. She had been like this two years ago, tired but headstrong. He had felt himself drawn to those qualities as much as he had found her strange brand of fragility something he wished to protect. Cerberus may have gifted them both with cybernetic implants to bring them back to life, but she was still the same woman he had grown so desperately fond of.

Unable to help himself, Garrus leaned down and pressed his forehead to her own, breathing in her familiar scent. That was when he saw it, the silvery chain she still wore beneath her uniform, peaking out now from her open collar, his gift to her. He doubted she understood the symbolism behind the piece, couldn't possibly be expected to understand how very unusual for any non-turian it was to be in possession of such an item. But then again, Nora had always been a very sensitive, observant person.

Looking around at the mess of her room, Garrus momentarily left her side to clear the bed of the various data pads that littered it. After straightening the mess on her desk, he lingered by the fish tank, taking a few moments to feed the little creatures before once more returning to her side.

Having retrieved a blanket from the nearby chair, Garrus draped the thick fabric over their two bodies as he settled himself beside her, gently collecting her small human body in his arms. Sheltering her with the curve of his own larger stature, he brushed his hand along her waist before slowly resting his hand on smooth indent it provided.

And then he too fell asleep, wishing somehow that when they woke up their problems would seem lessened.

Nora woke up several hours later, slow to move out of the comfortable haze that had swallowed her those many hours ago. Exhaustion had long since become a common bedfellow, but the man who lay beside her now was most certainly not.

At least not recently, her mind corrected after a moment, two years ago they had come to be familiar with one another in much the same manner. Smiling softly at the thought, Nora watched her companion in silence, appreciating the way sleep softened him.

Well, not softened, she amended, _soothed_. At first glance, Garrus would always appear the intimidating predator; sleep did little to dull those sharp edges. But the way he looked now, Nora leaned over him and brushed a careful hand along his fringe, she was reminded of why she felt such depth of caring.

No doubt he was worried about her; that was why he was here now, in her bed.

Unable to help how she lingered, it was a long while before Nora went to refresh herself in the small private bathroom.

Reality could wait for a few minutes more.

* * *

Location: Omega

"Well that tasted like shit."

Pushing back from the bar at Afterlife, Jack looked at her drinking partner, a scowl on her lips, "I thought you said this was the good stuff."

The mercenary beside her took the glass she had left on the table and downed the rest of the deep green liquid, unaffected by her temper. Indeed, had Jack not dragged the man for the last couple of days, she might have thought he was ignoring her. But to think him inattentive was to underestimate Zaeed Masanni, and that was one thing she _knew_ she couldn't do.

Not if she wanted to stay alive; Zaeed had told her that his contract was with Shepard and therefore _not her_. Still, the two had fallen into a routine that suited the two just fine, and Jack had found life on Omega more comfortable in its familiarity than the Normandy had ever been.

Jack shifted in her chair, dark eyes careful to avoid the too-smart look in Zaeed's eyes. They both knew they had other places to be, that her commander had expected her back several days ago. The summons they had received remained unanswered, and even now Jack sought for something, _anything_, to kill more time.

She didn't want to go back.

For all of her bravado she was honest enough with herself to know the relationships she was developing on the Normandy scared her. The commander, in particular, had proven herself time and time again to be trustworthy, to be dependable. And that was why she was loath to return, history showed that it was the caring ones that ended up dying, leaving all the selfish bastards to live with the consequences. Jack flinched as she remembered the last man who had cared about her, he had died too. Truly she was a killer.

"You ready to go, kid?"

Looking up at the grizzled man, Jack's eyes traced the scars on his arms, the deep marks that proved his ability to survive. She couldn't afford to care about anyone, but that didn't mean she didn't want to.

"Yeah, let's go find some way off this hell hole."

* * *

"Thane?"

Nora entered Life Support to find the lights greatly dimmed and the drell nowhere to be seen. Making a slow trip around the room, she was struck by how very sparse it was, how it lacked any sort of personal touch.

_Was mediation all that Thane truly needed?_

Her fingers coasting over the cool metallic desk, Nora paused as she came across a small data pad, scarcely larger than her palm. It was a personal disk, of that there could be little doubt, and that she had no business looking at it further could not have been more apparent. Still, Nora couldn't resist.

All it took was a brush of a finger against the screen and light filled the dim room, illuminating the image of a pretty drell female.

Bending closer Nora took in the small smile, the sunset colored eyes.

'_His wife…' _a wave of grief washed over her, the result of an empathy so strong it very nearly took the breath from her lungs. Startled by the intensity of the feeling, Nora gasped aloud, clutching the front of her uniform.

"That is Irikah."

Looking up in startled surprise, Nora didn't have time to react as Thane appeared before her, his expression one of concern.

"Why are you crying?" His fingers smoothed away one tear and then another, his touch lingering on her cheeks as he lifted her face to look at him.

"Siha?"

Strange but Nora seemed to be at a total loss for words. Gone was her ability to give an impassioned speech; and in truth, she wasn't sure why she was crying either, but the tears seemed impossible to stop.

"You carry a picture of her with you?" When at last Nora found her voice it was rough with emotion, but audible enough for understanding.

"When Irikah died there was little reason not to have her picture with me," Thane's expression was serious, "and it reminded me of the cost of my arrogance, the price that she was forced to pay because I wasn't careful enough."

Nora didn't know what to say in response, wasn't sure there was anything she _could_ say. As if sensing her own inability, Thane led her to a nearby chair and sat her down.

"You still haven't answered _my_ question, Siha."

"Question?"

Thane brushed another tear from her cheek, bending at the waist until he could look her directly in the eye. "Why are you crying?"

Laughing helplessly, Nora shook her head, "It just hits close to home somehow, seeing the picture… it made me think about this mission, and how costly it could be."

"Dying is a natural part of life, Siha. No one can live forever."

"It's not about living forever, I've died before and I can't say it was such a terrible experience." Her lips quirked in what almost was a sad smile, "It's the other… it's seeing _others_ die that I'm not sure I can deal with." Breathing sharply out, she dried the last of her tears, "I'm not strong enough to watch anyone die, not when I'm responsible for them."

"It explains why you are so quick to throw yourself in harm's way," Thane intoned softly, taking a seat beside her, "but Siha, there is only so much you can do. In the end, the sea will reclaim those it must."

Unable to help herself, Nora leaned against the drell's shoulder, knowing instinctively that he was speaking of himself. They had rarely spoken of his Kepral's Syndrome, and Nora had always done her best to forget, if only because it reminded her too much of how little she could protect those she cared about.

"You know I worry about you, Thane."

The drell smoothed the feathery locks of hair behind her ears in response, his hands warm and familiar in their ministrations.

"And I, you, Siha."

A small smile made her way onto her lips as she closed her eyes, "You know… I still don't know what 'Siha' means."

There was a slight shift as he gently brushed down her neck, to leisurely rub her arm. For a long moment there was not a sound passed between them, no need in the comfortable peace that seemed so very much a part of their relationship.

And when at last he spoke, this time it was to answer the question that he had, for so long, evaded.

"A 'Siha' is a very rare being among my people, and indeed it is almost unheard of to ever find more than one. They are the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath, they are tenacious protectors."

"Thane…"

The drell smiled and remained where he was, half slumped against her, "I confess… I've come to care for you. There are many things I have experienced because you agreed to take me with you and it feels as though I have come alive because of it."

"It's a sort of love, isn't it?" Nora asked softly, still comfortable against his side, "What we have between us."

Thane considered her for a moment before making a soft noise of agreement, "Yes."

"But not romantic." She smiled in understanding, "Not really."

"No, not romantic," Thane smiled back, "but special in its own way; there is nothing I can truly compare it to."

A small murmur of contentment passed Nora's lips but was quickly silenced by the lingering sense of loss, "I'm glad. I feel the same… it's just… I wish there was something I could do for you."

"You will have memories when I am gone, Siha."

"My memories will fade with time." Nora answered bitterly, "Several decades and I won't even remember your face; the clarity will diminish with each passing minute."

She opened her eyes to look at the hands folded in her lap, "I couldn't even remember Garrus when I woke up, and only two years had separated us. I had to see him, face to face, to recognize the one who had meant so much to me… how could I possibly remember you as perfectly as now?"

"Your species has always been capable of great affection despite your less than photographic memory," Thane seemed to smile, "It would not be so unusual."

"But if memories are who we are, remind us of whom we care for, what we've been through…" Nora shuddered as she took a deep breath, "Miranda keeps telling me that my brain is my most fragile part of the reconstruction that anything could make it… break…."

She broke off suddenly, unable to continue and very much aware of how unprofessional this all was. And yet, Thane remained where he was, arm around her, patiently waiting for her to continue, knowing she needed to voice her concerns.

"Memories…"

Nora whispered the words softly to herself with bittersweet longing, as if she knew how very fleeting they were, how imperfect.

_Would these precious moments be taken from her too?_

Taking Thane's hand in her own she led him out of the room to the room where Kasumi was waiting for her, a small bundle of cords, wires and plugins arranged on her desk.

_Everything was ready for her._

Looking the drell in the eye, Nora managed a smile before she released him and took her seat by the table, inserting one of the cables into the port so often used for biotic implants.

_She had done this before_.

Looking up at him with a small smile Nora gestured him closer.

"I have a favor to ask of you…"

* * *

"I'm going, Garrus."

"You're in no position to be going after a _biotic_ of all things." Garrus crouched down so that he was face to face with her. "This doesn't have to get done right away."

Despite the seriousness of their conversation, Nora couldn't help but smile as she let her hand gently brush the side of his face. Several hours had passed since she had risen from bed, but she found herself seated upon it once more as she spoke to him. Exhaustion had driven her to take what small reprieve she could, and it was Garrus who had woken her with news from Samara.

"Samara seems to think we have a very limited time frame."

"Limited time or not, you're not ready." His response was stubborn, but as honest as she had come to expect from him. The smile on her lips faded away, replaced by a grim line. Eyes sharpening, Nora shook her head with a rigidity that had not been there a moment before.

"I am the commander of this ship. Ready or not it falls to _me_, and I will keep my promise."

Garrus had seen her like this time and time again, but now was no easier than in the past. If anything, it was harder, because in his mind lingered the memory of her lying in her room, suffering the results of the red sand poisoning. Even now she had yet to regain her biotic powers; and though Mordin had promised she would regain them eventually, Garrus remained silently skeptical. He didn't think the salarian had seen how very different she had been since the incident, how her hands still trembled from insufficient biotic energy flowing through her body.

His blue eyes followed her as she crossed the room, stripping down to the thin pair of shorts and top that she usually wore beneath her armor. Picking up the metalloid weave for beneath the thick plates, Nora got to work suiting up as Garrus continued to watch.

It was only when she had nearly finished her preparations that he spoke again, straightening as he approached, towering over her smaller form.

"I'm coming with you."

It was order he had no right to issue, a demand she had every right to ignore. As a turian he knew better than most how disgraceful it was to forget ones' proper place, ones accepted rank in a hierarchy, but still he spoke.

"Nora."

She strapped on the last of her armor and clipped her pistol at her side, her hands moving smoothly to check the safety. Short hair ruffled against the collar of her suit, and for a moment it seemed she hadn't heard him at all. But as she turned to face him a smile flickered across her face, a glint of sassy temper all her own.

Of course, his commander wouldn't care what a _proper_ turian would do; she had never expected that of him. And as she touched the side of his face, he realized her only expectation now, was that he be by her side.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

Omega blared with an intensity unchanged by time, Garrus' work as Archangel almost invisible in the thug infested streets. In the darkness of an alleyway, the turian watched as one shady deal after another continued unchecked, and the innocent scurried from one corner to another, their expressions masks of anxious fear.

Frustration filled him as he walked deeper and deeper into the lawless pit that seemed to continue its pursuit of all things corrupt. He and his team had done good, had _changed_ things, but looking around now revealed just how quickly Omega was capable of returning to the status quo.

In front of him, Samara and Nora chatted quietly as they approached the Afterlife Club. Their search for Jack earlier in the day had revealed nothing, and Samara had grown steadily more impatient with her desire to seek out her quarry.

_Ardat-Yakshi._

Garrus had heard the name only rarely and never with any particular seriousness. Creatures of indescribable destructive power, a biotic that could kill a person with the barest of gestures, these rarities of the asari species had seemed more akin to myth than truth.

But here they were, hunting one down, looking to somehow stop a killer that had evaded a Justicar for centuries. Shepard always did have a flair for finding the most unusual missions.

"-and Shepard." They had pulled into a dim corner, Samara clearing up the last of the details, "Morinth is on the lookout for a good time, not a fight. Your armor will make you conspicuous at best."

There was a brief gesture towards a seedy boutique at the corner, "Perhaps you might change into something more… appropriate for the venue?"

Turning to watch the exchange, Garrus had the distinctly sinking feeling that he had missed an important part of the conversation, specifically the mention of said 'venue.'

He had thought to corner the Ardat-Yakshi in some remote location, a well-placed sniper round in the head complimented by a biotic barrier to contain any backlash and a few muzzle-to-chest exchanges of shotgun to finish the job.

Apparently _that_ idea was not going to work.

Turning to follow Shepard, Garrus stopped at the first narrow row of clothing he came to, clawed hand moving to pick up a silken strap of cloth more akin to strange asari lingerie than actual clothing. That Samara was going to use their commander as bait had never been an acceptable part of the mission. But though he knew he should be uneasy, the sight of his commander running her small feminine hands on the fabric and pulling one of those wispy excuses for clothing from the rack temporarily distracted him and he became more… intrigued.

She disappeared a moment later with a handful of colorful tissue that passed for clothing, her small form obscured behind the dark curtain.

With her out of sight, he quickly became bored. He turned away to scan the store, and nearly missed his commander as she paid and exited the establishment. He caught up to her just before she got to the street, his arm forcing her pause.

"Nora."

As she turned he caught a whiff of her scent, familiar and startling in its power over him. He drew her close enough to feel the brush of her slim-cut dress against him. The light did very little to hide her, instead painted enticing shadows over her sloping body. In many ways, this dress reminded him of the one she wore on Illium, when he had first seen her with Thane. The sheer grey of the gown was slightly more modest than the other colors he had seen, and unlike the others seemed to be composed of more than a single scrap of cloth. Then again, Garrus mentally growled as she turned to look at him revealing the plunging neckline that displayed her curved figure to advantage, the high slit that revealed her firm thighs.

He would gladly rip apart the first man who thought he could do more than just look, not that 'just' looking would save them from a lesser fate. Taloned fingers curled into fists as she leaned against him, large purple-blue eyes glinting knowingly.

"Like the dress do you?"

She smiled, for a moment free of the impending pressures of the mission. And for a moment they were just another couple enjoying a moment together despite the less than scrupulous surroundings in which they found themselves.

He felt the warmth of her hand on the scarred side of his face, the skin there more sensitive to the touch, to her.

"Nora."

And as he leaned down toward her, she met him half way, pressing her forehead against his own with a smile of quiet satisfaction. Hands found her waist, holding her close, settling comfortably against the softness of her.

"Watch your back," he murmured as they lingered a moment more.

She grinned as she touched his cheek, "I thought that was what you were coming along for."

He laughed at that, pulling back to give her a last good look and a fond brush of her hair, "Don't enjoy yourself too much without me."

Nora shook her head the smile still on her lips, "I wouldn't dream of it." She pressed herself to his side for a brief hug before turning to leave, "Besides, I'm saving the last dance for you."

* * *

Location: Normandy

"Where the hell have you been?" Joker might not have been able to follow after them, but his voice carried far enough to be heard loud and clear. "There's been nothing but radio silence for the past two weeks and now you show up while the Commander is gone. What gives, Jack?"

"Shepard had me pick this guy up," A jerk of her thumb at the grizzled mercenary behind her was all the explanation Jack provided, "Where is she anyway?"

"The commander went down to Omega a couple hours ago, went to go look for you initially, but now it sounds like Samara has something she needs done."

"Well you can tell her that I'm back." Jack shrugged nonchalantly as she continued towards the elevator.

"It's a little late for that Jack; she's gone in with complete radio silence. She won't get the message until she's back on the shuttle."

"Well then be sure to send it right when she gets there," Jack answered sullenly, "Don't need the fearless leader gallivanting all over Omega on my behalf."

"It's a bit late for that, don't you think?" Joker replied coldly.

"Just shut up and tell me when she gets back, I don't want her on my ass about bringing Massani late."

"Yeah well, if the shit hits the fan, don't think you _won't_ be the one to blame Jack."

The ex-criminal said nothing in retort, merely pushed the button to close the elevator and waited for the doors to slam shut. It was only when the door closed that she muttered under her breath.

"Damn cripple…"

* * *

The dancing came to her much easier than she had expected, her body finding its proper rhythm in degrees. It really was the heavy pounding of the bass in her ears that did it, the penetrating thrum of blood and music coalescing until she was but an expression of the sound around her. Next to her, an asari found her competent enough to dance with, and the two enjoyed several long songs moving close together enjoying the shared experience of music.

It was only when a drunk turian tried to interrupt their pleasant evening that things got rather ugly.

"Hello sweetheart, want to come my place for a bit of fun?"

Beside her the asari dancer went rigid with fear, the tips of her head tails paling. Clearly she had no interest in going anywhere with this man, but then the turian punk seemed completely oblivious. The few attempts the asari made at excusing herself fell on deaf ears, and it wasn't long before the dancer seemed backed up into a corner.

"I can promise you won't forget it… you can even bring your friend if you want."

His voice had the familiar flanging of all turians, but to Nora it was clear he held none of their moral sensibilities. Stepping in front of the nervous asari, Nora fixed the taller male with a cold stare.

"She's not interested."

The man scoffed, "What are you, her lover?"

Nora shrugged, "Would it matter to you? She's not going anywhere she doesn't want to go."

"What makes you think you can stop me?"

Smiling sardonically Nora flexed her hands but kept them by her side, "Well you know what they say…"

The turian lunged, half tripping in his drunken stupor, his fists too slow, his movements unrefined and more the product of temper than years of training. Nora dispatched him with a sharp blow beneath the jaw and another practiced kick at his leg. Those late night practice sessions with Thane had taught her where to strike for maximum damage. It was only when he lay in a groaning heap at her feet that Nora remembered to finish her sentence, her lips quirking into a small smile.

"…love conquers all."

Releasing the asari to the comforting presence of nearby friends, Nora made her way to the bar, looking to get something to drink. So far she had tried to do as Samara said, to not appear a brute, but a creature of interest, someone Morinth would find intriguing.

She wasn't sure that she had done a very good job.

"What can I get you?"

The bartender looked at her, his expression irritated, "Not much in the way of business this evening, is there?"

Looking around, Nora was vaguely surprised to see how very empty the bar was despite the thick crowd of people on the dance floor. Across from her, the bartender sighed, "What a slow night."

"Have you thought of giving these people a free drink?" Nora didn't really know the first thing about club life, but her logic was sound, "If you give them a free drink it'll make you look good and chances are you'd get more business that way."

The bartender eyed her, "Yeah?"

Shrugging, Nora picked up the drink her offered and took a small testing sip, "Can't get much worse than this, can it?"

Within five minutes the small bar was alive with club goers, and Nora slipped from the crowded bar seating to get a little space, the drink still in her hand. She had no plan to get drunk, and really the fruity concoction in her hand was more for show than anything else.

"Hey, do you have a minute?"

Nora felt a prickle on the back of her neck a second before she turned to look at the speaker. Half hidden in the private booth where she sat, it was only when Nora took a step forward that she caught more than a glimpse of the woman who had called her over.

Perhaps she hadn't done such a bad job after all.

"My name is Morinth, here…" she patted the booth, "come sit with me."

Morinth looked exactly like Samara, funny how asari seemed so perfectly ageless. But where Samara was so carefully reserved her daughter seemed more in touch with her emotions and her ability to seduce others. The difference was clear in the way they met her eyes; with Samara, there had been a meeting of equals, with Morinth… Nora exhaled slowly; it was like staring up at a thresher maw armed with a pistol.

Still, Nora managed an easy smile, "Sure."

Leaning back against the plush leather of the booth, Nora waited patiently and was rewarded when Morinth began to speak.

"I'm glad you showed up… sometimes I come here and there's no one interesting to talk to… other times… just one person peaks my interest."

Her eyes sharpened with interest, "Why is that?"

There was a moment of panic, an expression of emotion Nora had to force under her cool mask, as she looked at the other woman and realized the vast reserve of biotic power that lay at the others fingertips. It was as if she was standing at the edge of an ocean, and she but a single human being with her own little bottle of water. Grief threatened to overwhelm her if she lingered at the thought too long, for even though her powers were so small in comparison it was their very palpable loss that stung so deeply.

But the time for feeling sad passed quickly enough, lost in the barrage of questions that followed. Art, music, film… she asked them all and was in turn asked for her opinion.

Back and forth they chatted, probing for the truth between the lies, knowing instinctively that the other was withholding. In many ways Nora found herself on a battlefield, albeit of a different design than she was normally accustomed to. Such familiarity was comforting, if only slightly, and the human took such reassurance in stride as she pressed Morinth for any sign of destructive nature, any reason why Samara would seek her death.

She found the signs in the most subtle of actions, the nails sharpened into points, the hungry almost obsessed look in those cold blue eyes. But it was the way Morinth began to 'accidentally' brush against her that put her most on edge.

There were very few people who had ever physically touched her before, and those she willingly accepted was an even smaller number. It took all her control to not pull away from the feather light caresses, her hands curling into fists under the table.

And when it seemed she could stand it no longer, that Nora would have done _anything_ to stop yet another unwanted petting, Morinth straightened and pulled out of their private booth. Looking up with a confidence she could barely feel, Nora met the piercing gaze of the Ardat-Yakshi with a tenacious smile.

"Yes?"

Morinth returned the smile with one of her own, extending an elegant hand towards the still seated woman.

"Shall we go to my place?"

* * *

Garrus had had Morinth in the crosshairs of his high powered sniper rifle the moment she had led his commander to her car. Biting back the curse as they entered the asari's private apartment, Garrus grumbled as he shook off the effects of their leisurely drive through Omega's exclusive lairs of the deadly and rich. He might have left the name of Archangel behind him, but that didn't mean the big wigs had forgotten the problems he had caused, more than one crime boss had beefed up their security to levels of paranoia unusually high even for Omega.

Crowds didn't make for easy shadowing; _armed_ crowds certainly weren't a step in the right direction.

From where he sat atop a shorter apartment complex on the other side of the street, Garrus watched as his commander moved around the luxurious trap in which she found herself. Expensive paintings, trophies and various rare artifacts littered the otherwise bare expanse of real estate.

_Kasumi would have loved it. _

With bated breath, Garrus watched as Nora turned from the object to sit beside their target, her expression once more one of engagement and excitement. All a fabrication, her smile and animated conversation, but it was an act that momentarily convinced even the turian agent.

Checking the time on his eye-piece, Garrus noted the minutes and began to descend to a lower level before taking up residence once more.

But when he glanced back through the scope, through the tinted glass to where the two women were talking, it became apparent that something had changed in the short time he was moving.

Neither of the women was moving, and though he could only see Nora's face, its expression was one of familiar seriousness. Having seen the look many times before, Garrus began to shift, ready for the signal that would call both Samara and himself to action. Everything hinged on such a small flutter of her hand, a brief touch of her index finger to her ear and the attack would commence.

A sudden flash of blue light pulled him from his thoughts, focusing him once more on the task at hand. Though Samara was already moving to confront her daughter, Garrus could see Nora begin to slump as the biotic energies began to work around her.

He wasn't going to wait around, he had to get to her, _now._

Shouldering the sniper rifle, and pulling out the assault rifle he had brought 'just in case' Garrus left his post, ducking under various ventilation ducts and pipes on his way down to the ground floor. Had this been a firefight he would have initiated the small neural patch connected to the targeting visor to play all sorts of music to drone out the sounds of the bullets. But as he tore through the lobby and down the hallway there was only a deafening silence and the terrible thought that he would arrive too late.

The door to the apartment was politely propped open when he arrived, a surreal experience to gently push past it, past the silence into the explosion of fire and noise that he met as he crossed the threshold.

It was a warzone contained in four delicate walls, a surreal distortion of reality.

Shards of glass and various priceless pieces of art hung suspended in the biotically charged air, and there was blood hanging in that same surreal field that seemed to engulf the entire room. There was only one person in the room who had blood that color.

"Nora!"

He was shouting her name, heedless of the danger around him, the two explosive biotic powers that were filling the small space dampening his visors' ability to react quite as quickly, the calculations coming close to overwhelming the custom piece of equipment.

A biotic flame exploded around him, catching him unexpectedly, forcing him to stagger back at its intensity and heat. But there, just beyond the ring of blue-purple flames he could see a familiar silhouette, the faint shimmer of blue biotics a nod to Samara's ability to protect their leader.

Not harmed, Garrus realized with relief, but there, standing next to Samara, armed with the spare pistol the asari justicar had carried.

But where his commander stood calm, poised in the moment before the attack, Morinth looked ready to combat her with animalist excitement. Long fingers flexed as she drew biotic power from her body, carelessly releasing it when it grew too strong, ravaging the inside of her apartment with her own unchecked abilities.

If they let the younger asari continue unchecked the building would come down around their ears. As it was, Morinth was more than happy to sate her desire for violence as quickly as possible.

"Choose one of us, Shepard. Mother or myself… which one do you desire?"

Blue-purple eyes didn't flinch as she stared back at the wanted woman.

"I choose Samara."

A look of complete and total hatred crossed Morinth's delicate face, before a smirk, so terrible in its satisfaction, replaced it.

"Well then Shepard… you chose wrong."

The room erupted into a cacophony of sound, mindless noise and power as Samara and Morinth engaged each other in a desperate biotic struggle. Though Garrus had just readied his rifle to take aim, the answer came in the form of a decisive shot from his commander.

_Bang!_

A single gunshot, timed with the expert skill of experience, echoed through the noise bringing with it a silence so complete the air around them seemed to vibrate with its missing presence.

Everything had ended so quickly, and though Garrus was quick to pick a path through the debris to where Nora was standing, his eyes were trained on the body of their quarry.

A splatter of dark blood the only sign of her death, Samara's daughter lay in a strangely composed pose of rest, face betraying nothing in its smooth peaceful expression.

_Had she been seeking this release?_

"Samara." Nora seemed to sway a little on her feet as she holstered her weapon, "We'll meet you back on the Normandy, take your time coming up."

The justicar didn't turn to reply, merely nodded as she looked down at the limp form of her daughter. "Thank you, Shepard."

Moving towards the door, Garrus watched as his commander stumbled slightly, holding her head for a moment before she straightened.

"Nora?"

He was at her side, but refrained from touching her. Instead, he contented himself with taking stock of her appearance, the sickly flush of her skin, the sweat on her brow.

"You ok?" He asked as they entered the elevator, "You look a little pale."

"Hmm?" Blue-purple eyes tried to focus on him but seemed to be having a hard time, "Yes… I'm fine… just a little…" she pitched forward suddenly, but caught herself short, a strained note of laughter echoing in the small space.

"Just a little dizzy is all…" She pushed herself upright and Garrus watched as the blood seemed to drain out of her face. They made it as far as the shuttle before she had to sit down, her legs shaking too badly to support her any longer.

"Nora?"

Her eyelids had started to droop by the time he took his seat, her head already pillowed against the back of the seat. For a moment Garrus thought she had fallen asleep, but as he continued to watch, a thin trail of blood ran from her nose, a brilliant scarlet ribbon against skin so starkly ashen as to seem entirely void of color.

"Nora?"

Leaning forward, he touched her shoulder, her face and got no response.

_"Nora."_

He shook her gently, eyes focused on the blood that continued to drip. And though he called for the pilot to travel faster, for Doctor Chakwas to be ready to receive them, it was only when blood began foaming from his commander's parted lips that he realized that once more the cost of the mission had been too high.

* * *

Thane sat quietly and observed the chaos of the room, blending in despite the iridescent green of his skin, the luminescence of his eyes. He had been trained for stealth, and his skills served him well as he watched the crewmembers, each in their own way deal with the disaster of the mission.

It was a scene he had watched before, not a week past when Nora had arrived back from Illium and they had feared the worst. How strange that that moment now seemed to pale in comparison, so tame to the terror that now gripped them all.

And it wasn't because she had nearly died; it was because no matter how many tests Mordin ran, there was only one part of her body that continued to deteriorate while the rest of her body remained perfectly healthy. No one knew how much brain damage their commander could take, whether she would ever wake up.

Shifting slightly from his perch, the drell assassin caught sight of Jack, so recently returned with the mercenary in tow. And though many thought her unaffected by the past several hours, Thane could see the shameful guilt that drove the young biotic away.

The room cleared several hours later when it became apparent that Mordin and Samara had done all they could. But of course, Thane was not one to leave her side, and Garrus too remained where he was, standing by her bed as he kept silent vigil.

Having watched the turian more than the others, Thane was acutely aware of every nervous twitch that the other possessed. The curled finger, the way he touched the damaged side of his face more often than usual, all of them signs of stress.

The assassin in him was quick to point out all the additional factors that worked in his favor, the dimness of the lights, the mental distraction of the mark, it was a training too ingrained in him to ever go away. But to ever carry out those ideas was unthinkable now that he felt so very much alive, no longer lost in the haze of battle that used to plague him.

It's all thanks to her, his Siha.

A soft groan was all it took to draw the attention of both men back to the small body on the bed. But as Garrus bent to care for her, there was something distinctly _different_ about the woman who looked up at him. And as Thane continued to watch Nora's face the more uneasy he became, because something was wrong, because something told him that she was not… herself.

And he _knew_ he should have intervened, spoken up, done _something_ to stop what was to happen.

But he was too late, and with her first utterance, the world she had supported on her shoulders shattered around them. Thane watched in silence as the heart of his turian crew mate broke with that damning phrase, shredding the warrior to leave nothing save a man unarmored against the cruel reality that faced them. Not a sound sullied the sudden stillness of the room and as Garrus quietly turned to leave, his expression a careful mask of control, Thane watched as he exited, seeing the devastation in the clear blue eyes the second before the door slid firmly closed.

And that was when Thane knew that _everything_ fell on him and the little box Nora had begun to use those few days past. A soft fit of coughing drew Thane's attention back to his commander, her diminutive form dwarfed by the large machines that worked solely to monitor her brain on its various levels.

"Nora."

He called to her softly, as he stepped away from the wall

She looked up at him, her own expression confused, angry.

"Are you going to run away too?" She wanted to know, her hands fisted in the sheets on her lap looking hurt. Strange but she even sounded different, the way she enunciated the words, the flow of her speech noticeably changed.

Thane shook his head, taking a seat beside her, smoothing the covers as he did so.

"No, Siha… I won't leave you."

He looked through the textured screen of her room to see the remains of a once unshakable turian soldier; and though the previous few minutes had only just become a memory, they flooded his senses the moment he closed his eyes.

_Garrus leans forward as she opens her eyes, pale blue and slow to focus but aware nonetheless. The hair on her brow gets pushed back by tender hands, lingering for a moment before she makes a sound of distress in the back of her throat. Left hand clenching, she pushes up with her right, head turning first left then right expression confused. There's… something missing from her expression, a crucial part._

_Waiting patiently, Garrus straightens, giving her space, his body language expressing more than his face is capable of. _

_"Nora?"_

_His voice is tentative and gentle, too full of emotions that the woman doesn't seem to understand. He reaches out to touch her cheek but stops short as she flinches, something is not right, not the same. _

_She doesn't smile, doesn't react at all, but instead opens her mouth to speak. The strange way she pronounces the words, fumbles with the lilt of the sentence, makes her seem like a stranger. There is suspicion in her eyes, but more than that, there is fear. _

"_Who are you?"_

"My name is Thane Krios," he made no move to touch her, but neither did he move away from his seat by her side. "We've met before. You helped me find my son."

There was a flicker of biotic power as she reached up to touch the side of his face, her expression one of curiosity, childlike in its innocence. And while he knew he should be happy to see her biotic abilities returned Thane wondered if perhaps the price to pay for such a skill had been far too high.

Nothing would ever be as it once was.


	12. Chapter 12: Stranger

**AN: **Wow...so I can't believe how long it's been since I've updated. So sorry! Between my sudden Fable III project and the crazy amount of work I have for school this chapter just kept getting overlooked. Thankfully it's done now - but again, I'm sorry it took so long.

Thanks goes out once again to my beta **Zepheera** for proofing this chapter, and sticking with me despite the lack of work I've been sending.

Also, thanks to all of you who have written me a message,review, added this story to favorites or alerts (or both!). I really take your feedback to heart and it's nice to see how well recieved this fic is.

All my best!

~Voi

BTW...I don't own anything you recognize (Bioware does...lovely studio that it is).

* * *

"Officer Vakarian, I have a message from for you, shall I patch it through?"

A small icon flickered in his optical link and went out a second before the voice of the Normandy's pilot echoed through the main battery.

"Just thought you'd like to know that she's back." Joker sounded stressed, but his message was surprisingly polite. "You won't believe what she's brought with her..."

Garrus didn't stop his work, shuffling through the many levels of calculations he had created with an almost single-minded ferocity. The fierce throbbing of his head, the fatigue of staring at the screen for long hours, all were absorbed into the surroundings as he forged ahead, heedless of his body's protest. It made up for the terrible void he felt in his chest, the heart-numbing _nothing_ that had found a home inside him. Or at least, he _wished_ he felt nothing, perhaps it was his chest finally growing used to the rending pain that had appeared the moment his commander had failed to recognize him at all.

'_Of course nothing would ever be easy.'_

He growled in frustration when the last of his test algorithms failed to solve the problem he had been pursuing for the past several nights. Having locked himself inside to prevent any more disastrous meetings with his commander, it had come as a surprise when Joker had started sending him messages, updates, as to what their favorite leader was doing. Garrus didn't have the heart to tell him to stop, could barely find the strength to do more than just calculate, over and over and _over_ again until exhaustion forced him to collapse for brief periods of restless slumber.

A sharp knocking cut through his haze, immediately drawing his attention in a way that Joker's voice hadn't. The sound had yet to finish echoing when a second knock rang out, louder this time.

"Open up, Vakarian. We need to talk, damn it."

It was more the words than the muted voice that clued him in to who it was behind the door.

"Jack?"

Of all the people he expected, the young biotic was not necessarily the first one he would have thought of. Indeed, the fact that she pounded against the door once more, seemed a surreal experience.

He let her in without further question, watching her warily for a moment before return back to the console where his broken equations remained.

_Broken_… he scoffed as his fingers began tapping the keys anew, _one would have thought he was used to such things already._

"So are you just going to ignore me, or do you want me to shove my shotgun up your ass to get your attention?"

Jack was, as ever, the colorful conversationalist.

"What do you want, Jack? I have to get these calibrations done for the Commander before we get to Tuchanka."

"The 'Commander' huh?" The woman lounged against the wall as she watched him, "What happened to calling her by her first name?"

"I think you know what happened." Garrus' voice was carefully neutral, though the tapping of his fingers on the keys became a little more forceful as a result. "The last mission with Morinth went badly."

"I know _that_ smart ass," Jack interjected as she closed the distance between them, "but what I want to know why you won't call her by her name. Isn't that your _thing_?"

She hissed the last word, her lip curling into a sneer. It was the final insult to a man half lost. He had been holding on by a thread, his patience worn too thin, the resentment too forceful to be contained forever. Where the silence had allowed him this inner turmoil, Jack's insensitive comments pulled the trigger on all his carefully controlled guilt.

"You _know_ she doesn't remember anything!" Garrus snarled, rounding on the smaller woman, forcing her backwards through the sheer potency of his anger, "Why do you need me to tell you? She doesn't remember _you_, doesn't remember the _mission_ and sure as hell doesn't remember who _I_ am!"

Jack was hardly a delicate flower, but as the usually polite and controlled Officer Vakarian stalked towards her she felt a moment's panic. She had fought turians before, of course, fought and killed them, but they had almost always been the lowest sort of scum, and they had always deserved what they got.

Even as she braced her biotic powers for an attack she knew she couldn't treat him the same way. And she knew that no matter how their commander had changed, she would not forgive any damage done to either of them, regardless of the reasons.

Garrus made contact with her biotic barrier a second before she bumped into the wall, forcing them both to stop short.

Angry though he was, Garrus made no move to rage against the barrier nor did he attempt to break through it to get to her. He merely glared at her, eyes frosty as he silently demanded an answer to his question.

"Get hold of yourself, Vakarian," she swore as her hands trembled though whether it was from the force of her biotic powers or the look in the turian's eyes was unclear, "Do it now before I get really pissed off and do something we'll both regret after a couple of minutes."

It was a long, tense, moment before Garrus moved several steps backwards, his expression once more under an ironclad control.

"Let's try this again." Jack exhaled slowly, eyes closely following the Turian as he turned back to his work terminal, "How are you doing Vakarian?"

"Busy."

"Are we talking busy because you're forcing yourself to be, or busy because the commander has you running equations until you both can't stand it?"

The turian was silent for a moment before answering, "Both."

"And how are you _feeling_?"

Jack snorted at her own question, undecided as to whether she actually cared or if she was just trying to get under his skin once more. She did have the unfortunate habit of trying to get a rise out of everyone.

But instead of answering, Garrus merely kept his silence, hands unhesitant as they typed away, eyes trained on the screen. Ignoring her gave him the peace of mind he needed, though as the doors slid shut signaling her departure, the turian couldn't help but wonder aloud.

"How am I feeling?"

The laughter that followed was self-mocking and tremulous with despair.

"I'm doing _fine_."

"I understand that you are _displeased_ with my having brought a geth aboard the Normandy, Miranda, but there's really nothing to be done about it."

Standing in the doorway to the woman's office, Nora Shepard scowled. She couldn't remember a thing about this woman, and she was quickly coming to the realization that she didn't really give a damn whether she did or not. The highest form of snob she had come across since waking up, Miranda had taken one look at her and placed the blame of their situation entirely at her feet. As if it had been _her own_ fault that she couldn't remember anything!

Biotic energy crackled across her fingertips before being absorbed back into her body.

"I can't keep pandering to whatever the hell you want, just because you have some doubts about our tech security. We're dropping on Tuchanka in less than 24 hours, and unless you want to explain why we're behind schedule, I suggest you get out of my way."

Not waiting to hear the other woman's retort, Commander Shepard turned on her heel and strode from the impeccable office, seeking out a moment's peace in her quarters. While there was no shortage of personal objects in her bedroom, and therefore no end to the inner turmoil she experienced while within, those metal walls had quickly come to represent the only sense of security she had. Each crewmember was a rule unto themselves, puzzles she knew 'Nora' had once solved but _she _could only barely discern.

And while she trusted some, hated others, there was one in particular that conjured feelings of such affection that the depth of which left her terrified of the implications.

It was as if she stood at the edge of the universe and simply tried to place herself in the grand scheme of all that existed outside of herself, she was a stranger standing on the outside of another woman's life looking in at all the connections but feeling none save one.

_This one_.

Her hand came up to brush the necklace that lay beneath her uniform, absentmindedly drawing small comforts from more objects of which she remembered nothing.

Brushing past several of the crewmembers on their way to a late breakfast, Commander Shepard had only just summoned the elevator when _he_ appeared.

"Officer Vakarian."

Carefully controlled, her voice betrayed none of her previous anger towards Miranda, nor did it tremor with the confusion at her own heart's excited thrumming in her chest.

"Hello Commander." Ever polite, the turian nodded, but there was wariness in how he looked at her, in how he moved. There had been something, a tension, between them that neither seemed willing to broach. He had tried… once… and it had been the violence of her response that had pushed them to such distant, if not altogether cold, relations.

Shepard felt the lingering sting of pain that the distance between them had brought her, wondering not for the first time if there was something she missed about this silent soldier. Her fingers brushed against the necklace for a second time as she frowned.

"How are those algorithms coming?" Striving to sound unaffected, the commander of the Normandy let the elevator doors close without entering; ignoring the fact that she had missed her trip up to her quarters.

"I think I've found a way to double the power draw of the Thanix Cannon, give it more punch. I was going to engineering just now to run the idea by Gabby and Kenneth."

"I appreciate what you've done for the cannon, I heard from Joker that you've spent the past week in there doing calculations. It means a lot, for the crew, to me."

"I'm glad to be of use." His response came a little more easily, relaxed.

And for a while they slowly settled into a comfortable conversation about the ship, about _work_; but just as they seemed to have found the simple joy of conversation after so long a silence he made his first, most serious mistake. Forgetting just for a moment that she was not the woman he loved, but a stranger he called to her.

"Nora…"

Her reaction was instantaneous and viciously soft, her response stilted in anger as her fists clenched into fists. The face that had grown softer with the occasional smile now seemed to harden with the grim line of her mouth; the sharp cut of her brows shadowing her eyes as she grimaced.

"Don't call me that, I'm _not_ her."

He knew he should have left then, apologized for his slip and just gone, if just to save them both; but the longer he looked at her pained expression, the more the protective feelings roared to the forefront, painting the image of who she _had been_. Somewhere in the recesses of her damaged mind was the woman who was both his best friend and commanding officer.

"You are Nora. You are Commander Nora Shepard, of the Normandy." He was pleading with her, begging her to stop this terrible charade.

"I don't know who that is!" She raged against him suddenly, temper snapping. Her voice raised as eyes filled with anger and sadness.

"This woman, this _paragon_ of justice in search of the Reapers, who was she?" Her fists rose as if to strike his chest but froze before she could complete the action.

"Who was this Commander Shepard that everyone keeps talking about?" Her voice shook, and she looked away, unable to hold the turian's gaze.

Garrus was taken aback by her anger, her pain. The temper was unlike the woman he knew, though the insecurities seemed at once familiar.

"Who is this woman who looks at me in the mirror and mocks me, this woman who could bear these emotional scars without feeling like I do? How could she have _smiled_ at all?"

Angry hands raked through soft hair with enough force to rip out several strands, "She's not _here_!"

She turned to stalk away from him then but stopped short as Thane appeared before her. As had quickly become habit his presence was a silent balm to both their raw feelings.

"Commander, Kasumi is asking for you."

His hand gestured down the hallway, directing the woman, though he did not follow. Waiting until the doors had slid shut behind the overwrought human, Thane merely inclined his head in the direction of Life Support before disappearing.

Garrus followed closely behind, and though his eyes did not linger on the closed doors of Kasumi's room, the image of Nora's pale face seemed fixed in his mind's eye, reminding him that she was as much a prisoner of the situation as they all were.

"Damn it!" Fists slammed against the side of the mirror with enough force to leave the tender flesh throbbing, "Damn it all!"

Half sobbing as she leaned heavily on the edge of the sink, Nora Shepard scrubbed the tears from her eyes with harsh determination. She refused to look at her reflection, but the stinging of her cheeks attested to the rawness of her skin. Looking down at the angry red skin of her hand, flushed from abuse, the woman felt _wrong_, like an alien in a body she didn't belong to.

_Nora Shepard, Commander of the Normandy, born on Earth, joined the Alliance Military at 16…_

She shook, cold sweat beginning to form on her palms, the back of her neck.

_…Survivor of Akuze, Savior of the Citadel, Beloved hero of the human people._

Feeling suddenly ill, she made it to the toilet before she was thoroughly sick, retching out the remains of her previous meal. As it was, all she had managed to eat was a few sips of water and dehydrated foodstuffs, but even those miniscule traces of nutrition left her as she continued to retch.

Kasumi and Thane had been to visit her ever since she had first woken from the disaster of the last mission, their offer one she could not deny.

Memories stored by herself in a greybox as a means to safeguard against the worst possible situation, kept safe by the two most mysterious members of the crew.

Nora Shepard had to hand it to her other self; the woman had quite a bit of foresight, if she had not simply suffered from an extensive paranoia. Still, the internalization of these memories had proved to be harder than she had expected and often left her feeling incredibly ill. It was like trying to watch four different vids while a fifth recording played all the sound of a different scene. The memories had been stored in haste without thought to organization, and it was clear that the old Nora Shepard had had very little practice with such memory technology.

Feeling another swell of illness rise in her, the woman groaned and pressed against the rim of her toilet more firmly, mentally floundering as her body expelled what little was left.

It was only when warm hand came to press against her back, steadying her and reminding her to breathe that she realized she was no longer alone.

"Thane?"

A wave of shame crashed over the woman, as she turned to see the drell at her side, moist cloth in his outstretched hand. Taking the proffered towel, she wiped her face, and then her mouth, savoring the cool chill of the water against her skin.

Unable to help herself, an apology was on her lips the next moment. Strange that she would react to two members of her crew in such polar ways, trust in the drell, sudden hostility to the turian for the most minor of offences. Her heart seemed to throb in her chest as she recalled the desolation in those blue turian eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. I thought I was alone."

Shaking his head, the assassin gently pulled her to her feet, "There is nothing to apologize for, Siha. There is no shame in being as you are."

Close to tears, the woman seemed to tremble in his arms, "I don't even know who I _am_."

"Then is it not in your power to define yourself?" Thane wanted to know, gently pushing her towards her small closet and waiting for her to choose a new set of clothes.

"But the memories… the ones she… should have," the woman sighed, "They're completely lost. All I have are files with dates and pictures– it's not enough. I'm tired of feeling so confused."

Thane was silent for a moment, considering how very different these words were from those she had spoken earlier that day to Garrus.

"I sound ridiculous don't I?" Laughing as she tugged the clothes from their shelves, the jerky motions of her actions revealed the tense uncertainty beneath. "First I'm saying that I'm not her… but wondering who I am… and now wanting to know who _she_ was."

A hand came up to wipe away invisible tears of frustration and anger, products of a woman so very confused with the position in which she found herself.

"I don't know what I want anymore… I just…" She sighed, shaking the clothes out, "Never mind. Just forget I've said anything… I'm rambling." Shoulders hunched, the woman seemed to sag as she sat down, head resting in her hands.

Moving to sit beside her, Thane was silent for a moment before his voice filled the room. "Siha, do you remember when I first made you the offer to recover your memories?"

"Of course."

_"Oh…it's you again."_

_Exhaustion made it nearly impossible for her to raise her head to look at him. But having only met a few members of the Normandy crew his voice identified him well enough._

_"What was it you wanted Thane?"_

_"Siha." Thane's voice was gentle in the near silence of the room, "There may be a way to recover at least some of those memories."_

_Eyes flickering with a familiar light, the woman turned to look at him, finding him in that now familiar formal pose, hands gently clasped behind him._

"_How?"_

_The word was half ragged with wanting, whispered as if to speak it any louder would draw unwanted attention to so fragile a dream. _

_"It is not the 'how' that is important, but the 'why.'" The drell gazed upon her with a tender smile, "You will understand if you choose to accept my offer."_

_"Will I also understand why you call me, Siha?" she wondered aloud._

_The drell smiled a little more, "Perhaps, but the decision is entirely up to you."_

_A hand flickered up to brush against a pendant hidden beneath her shirt, "Alright then. When do we start?"_

"You wanted to learn about the memories, but I promised only that you would learn _why_ you had stored those memories." Thane's voice was quietly hypnotic in the otherwise silent room.

Looking at him from the corner of her eye, Nora Shepard waited for him to continue.

"You need to bring Garrus Vakarian with you on this next mission, Siha."

Dark eyes blinked as he turned to look her directly in the eye, aware that she was watching him. "He will know the leader of the Krogan and can explain why you cannot remember."

"Bringing a turian down onto the Krogan home world seems counter intuitive," she responded though there was no heat to her words, only acceptance.

"Trust me."

The two words seemed a mild request given the circumstances, but Nora Shepard knew they were more of an order than a suggestion.

"You know, telling your commanding officer to do something is something the Alliance generally frowns upon," unable to help herself, the woman snapped slightly under the presumption, eyes tracing the silvery scars on her hands as she scowled. But just as Thane had come to know her moods in the months before, so too did he understand her now, waiting until her vexed expression melted to respond.

"Then it is a good thing we are not in the Alliance, Siha."

The small woman sighed, pressing the palms of her hands over her eyes.

"I suppose so."

`_"Her mind had been fragile for some time; she knew this and took steps to safeguard what memories she had."_

_"I had assumed she had told you, but it's become increasingly clear that she didn't"_

_Thane shifted slightly, eyes staring at him unblinkingly in the dimness._

"_I'll tell you what I can…"_

Garrus stared blindly at the bulkhead of the small transport, trying to make sense of what Thane had confided in him.

He wanted to yell at someone, demand explanations for questions only _she_ could answer.

He hadn't known how very vulnerable she had been, because she hadn't told him. And she hadn't told him, because she loved him… cared about him too deeply to tell him the truth, to make him worry.

Touching the damaged side of his face he remembered her expression as she had leaned over him, the ghost of a woman he had thought dead for two years. Their relationship had changed since then, grown deeper as they shared more with one another.

But even as he acknowledged just how much they had begun to share, a part of him wondered if her omission of this truth, this weakness she had hidden, had been a result of a shattered trust so deep that even now the damage remained beyond repair. They had come a long way since their reunion on Omega, but how many scars had they left upon one another in the process?

The idea struck him with crippling pain and he swallowed against the wounding physicality of his thoughts. Struggling to think of something, _anything_, else the turian removed the visor that seemed forever attached to his face.

Unaided by the automatic magnification, it took a moment for the words along the beaten rim to come into focus, but when they did he was reminded of the two years he had spent without her. He had had a mission then, a reason to fight against the injustice of the universe even though her absence had felt like a crippling injury.

In many ways the situation then was the same as now. But even as he thought this, he knew that for his heart the difference was too striking to ignore. To see her everyway and feel like a stranger as he did now, to follow her but see only her back, seemed an infectious wound that festered with each passing day.

Struggling to regain control his thoughts, Garrus grabbed the sniper rifle that had long since become familiar to his hands and replaced the visor on his face busying himself with relinking the magnification.

Working as he was, he sensed rather than saw Nora as she slipped in behind Grunt.

Logic told them both that bringing a turian down onto the krogan home world was about as diplomatically sound as allowing human beings sole control of citadel space, perhaps worse. And yet Garrus didn't dare question why she chose to bring him along, choosing to remain by her side than aboard the ship.

"Ready to ship out Commander?" Joker's voice crackled over the comm.

Her eyes caught turian blue as she replied, "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Halt!"

Nora Shepard suddenly found her way barred by two large krogan warriors each one heavily armed and outfitted.

"You must wait until the clan leader summons you. He is… in talks."

On the dais above them Nora could hear the heated arguments brought on by politics but being of rather small stature found herself rather comically unable to clearly see either Krogan though she could hear their raised voices.

It had something to do with tradition and a 'Clan Urdnot' and the commander found herself completely confused, though her lack of understanding didn't stop her from attempting to move around the guard to get a better look.

She caught sight of the Krogan seated on the large boulder-throne and though she hesitated the large Warlord turned as he felt her gaze on him, meeting her stare with intelligent red eyes. Immediately his mouth turned upwards in a wide grin.

"Shepard!"

Rising to his feet, the hulking figure pushed himself into the lit platform, the harsh beams of light glancing off familiar scars and the orange-red coloring of his crest. And it was with a sudden rush that Nora Shepard realized she was both recognized and in turn_ did_ recognize the krogan warlord standing before her, and with little more than a perfunctory 'excuse me' she was through the wall of Krogan muscle, finding her small hand gripped in a powerful but ultimately friendly handshake.

"Shepard! My friend!"

Her small body shook back and forth as he pumped her arm with his, but she couldn't help but smile. Because somehow, someway, she knew this krogan, knew this face.

Pulling back for a moment, the Warlord seemed to size her up, "You look well for dead, Shepard. Should've known the void couldn't hold you."

And that was when the words came to her lips, a perfect memory rising up from her subconscious.

"Looks like helping me defeat Saren and the geth worked out for you too, Wrex. I'm glad we didn't have to kill each other on Virmire."

The large creature laughed, "Ha! You made the rise of Urdnot possible. Virmire was a turning point for the krogan, though not everyone was happy about it." She didn't have to look at the krogan standing next to her old friend to know who he was talking about. "Destroying the genophage cure freed us from his manipulation. I used that to spur the clans to unify under Urdnot."

And every word made sense, every memory of the past filling in her understanding of the present. Nora Shepard felt a rush of elation as she held the images close.

Distantly she heard the sound of another krogan cutting in, making some snide comment, but she remain too wrapped up in the memories to make sense of what was going on. It was only when said krogan went flying backwards that she shook herself from the rare feelings of warmth that had surrounded her.

Wrex had resumed his seat back on the stone throne, "Now. Shepard, what brings you here? How's the Normandy?"

"It was… " Another memory, "Destroyed in a collector surprise attack. I ended up spaced."

The warlord grinned, "Well you look good. Ah, the benefits of a redundant nervous system!"

Nora Shepard offered a wry smile in return, "Yeah… humans don't have that."

"Oh, it must have been painful then." Wrex very nearly squirmed at the thought, " But you're standing here. And you have a strong new ship. Takes me back to the old days…"

The rest of the conversation drifted to the future of the krogan and eventually the problems Grunt seemed to have been suffering from.

And though she could remember Virmire, and Wrex, and the attack on the Normandy SR-1, the memories of all her old crew remained vague. When Wrex asked about Garrus her mental space remained empty of information, and the small golden moments of normalcy all but evaporated.

"Garrus?"

She repeated the name slowly, but found with terrible bitterness that the memories had stopped completely. Her hands clenched into fists, twisting in anger, forcing back the crushing disappointment and anguish that threatened to overwhelm her. Purple blue eyes blinked back emotions that crossed too closely to despair, and though she struggled to remain poised, the look on her face as she turned towards him was painfully familiar.

Vaguely excusing herself to go find Grunt the proper instructor, Nora Shepard bowed out of her conversation, leaving Garrus standing alone by their old comrade.

And though he could see her struggle, it was not until she was out of earshot that Garrus found himself given the opportunity to speak.

"What the hell did you do to Shepard?"

Wrex's question was more curious than angry, but Garrus turned to look at the warlord before responding. There remained a familiarity between the two of them, but it would not do to insult when responding even though the question still scraped along _his_ nerves.

"Good to see you too Wrex."

His deadpan was received with a dervish snort, "Still following Shepard around?"

"She found me and offered. I had no reason to turn her down."

"The thought never even crossed your mind did it?" The Krogan smiled knowingly, "Shepard is a fierce warrior, if she were a krogan she would have no equal. Though…" the great warlord chuckled, "If she were krogan I don't doubt she would find your new face markings attractive."

Memories seemed poised to overwhelm him, but Garrus fiercely kept them at bay. This was neither the time nor place for such reminiscing.

Instead, Garrus responded, "I do hope that you're talking about her as _female_ as well as krogan. Unless of course… _you_ have a thing for scars?"

The roaring laughter echoed through the ruined building, drawing more than its fair share of attention.

"Two years seemed to have sharpened more than just your shooting skills, turian. Good."

Rising from his chair, the large krogan motioned for Garrus to follow.

"Tell me, has something happened to her, to Shepard?"

"You mean besides being dead for two years?" Garrus looked out over the crumbling remains of what had once been a metropolis, and felt his throat tighten. "A mission against a powerful biotic went sour… she hasn't been the same since. Her memory was wiped clean."

Wrex didn't have to look at the turian to know how personal the wound was, it had not quite been common knowledge, but the krogan had worked out the relationship between the human woman and her second quickly enough.

"She remembered the events on Virmire."

It was not so much a consolation as a calculated observation.

"I know…" Garrus glanced across the compound to catch a sight of his small commander, "It's the first time she's recalled anything like that."

Grunting, the krogan warlord motioned his companion to the skyline where a large tower remained. And though he knew the turian would not yet understand, it was with growing confidence that Wrex gestured to the distant structure.

"There might be a way for her to remember more, but you're going to have to go with her."

The turian found himself at the base of said large tower several hours later, finding that Nora had come to support Grunt in his 'coming of age' test. Part of him had wanted to suggest they just buy the young krogan a drink at the local cantina and just call it good, but then krogan culture was as foreign as any other. Garrus had also wanted to avoid any confrontation with Nora while on Tuchanka if only because all the bored krogan seemed more than willing to take his commander's side in any argument whether she asked or not.

Tightening his grip on the high-powered sniper rifle in his hands, Garrus scanned the landscape around them. Everything seemed coated in a fine dusting of grayish-orange sand. Slowly moving to the edge of the platform he checked their position again, sharp eyes searching for anything out of the ordinary.

If this was to be a test of maturity, Garrus didn't doubt that it would require the skill of them all to pass. The smile on Wrex's face had been too taunting to do anything but put him on edge. More than once he glanced over at his commander as she slowly mirrored his actions on the other side of the platform.

The test began with a series of smaller exercises, creatures they had fought before, creatures they knew how to kill. Each hollow ringing of the keystone summoned a new wave, a new set of opponents to face down and conquer.

Once, twice…

It was on the third ring that the world seemed to freeze, hesitate. And when at last the thresher maw did burst from the ground, Garrus promised himself to have a _very_ long discussion with Wrex should he survive this close encounter with death.

The creature itself was a thing of nightmares, towering above them amidst the storm of sand it had kicked up, its large jaws flaring wide. Around it, the ground had crumbled, and as it snarled in fury, the entire floor beneath them began to roll, metal and concrete groaning at the strain.

Around him the pillars that surrounded the tower had begun to sway, but Garrus paid little mind as he targeted the creature. In his scope the plates on its body seemed to glint with near metallic sharpness, and though there proved to be gaps between the thick hide the weakness in those points seemed minimal.

He didn't hesitate to fire, catching the creature close to the head as several shots cut through the air. Roaring, the thresher maw recoiled and dove beneath ground to escape the attack, bringing with it a jolt of motion across the platform.

It reappeared very quickly at the far side of the small compound, a vile liquid concoction spewing from its gaping jaws.

Pausing for a moment, Garrus took a survey of the platform, noting Grunts furious bellows of excited outrage as he moved towards his prey. Though it appeared an unbalanced fight, the krogan had his biotic powers at full power, pulsing with emotion. Nora was already there, but as Garrus caught sight of his commander, he froze.

Standing before the thresher maw without a weapon, her small face was turned upwards; it was with undiluted terror that she stared at the rows of teeth that bore down upon them.

Her missile launcher was all but forgotten at it lay at her feet, and even her biotic barrier seemed to flicker feebly as its user lost heart.

_What was she doing?_

And then his brain put the details together, the tresher maw, the pale face and flickering biotics.

_Akuze_.

Another memory, another remembered moment of the past; but as he watched her wither under the weight of such things he couldn't help but be frustrated at the timing.

Swearing, Garrus broke from cover to dash towards her, his body compensating for the way the floor rolled and bucked beneath his feet. Around him, the pillars of the foundation shuddered, the aged stone splintering as larger chunks fell with great shudders.

And when one large section came crashing down in front of him, it was with the greatest portion of luck that he skid to avoid the second piece that smashed down next to it. But he wouldn't be able to avoid the third, and as he looked up, watching the stone in his final moments his last thought, irrational though it was, was that he should activate his shields. It slammed into him a moment later, _biotic_ power, cold and yet near electric as it propelled him across the rubble strewn ground.

Distantly he could hear Grunt roaring and the explosions of high caliber shells, the shouted orders of a female voice. Struggling to get up, Garrus wheezed as he rolled to his stomach, flinching as another stone pillar collapsed not ten feet away.

"It's ok Garrus, I have you covered."

The voice was familiar, unrushed as it smoothed over nerves and focused him on the task at hand. The intonation was so very nearly identical that for one heart stopping moment Garrus had to resist the urge to call her by her first name, her _proper_ name. It was ridiculous to waste such time remembering a title.

"Commander?"

Slowly his eyes cleared though his visor was quick to identify, adjust and focus on the woman crouching protectively over of him, shotgun at the ready. She had been looking out at the hostile landscape around them, but as he touched her leg she turned to look at him. Her face smudged with dirt, lips chapped from the hot Tuchankan weather, she had never looked more in her element, like herself. Garrus swallowed bitter disappointment at the thought that she wasn't.

But when her purple-blue eyes looked down at him it was with a smile that she cast a biotic barrier over them both. And though her voice was husky with emotion and nearly drowned out by the cacophony of noise around them, Garrus heard her words perfectly.

Helping him to his feet she pressed the sniper rifle into his hands with a grin.

"Silly, it's me… its _Nora_."


	13. Chapter 13: Forgiveness

**AN: Surprise! Lol, I'm honestly not sure how many people have kept with this story - especially after that terrible ten month period in which RL took over everything. But I'm back! Hopefully the next chapter will be done by the end of November and then the FINAL chapter sometime in early January or so. I apologize to everyone for taking so long, and so without futher wait - here is Chapter 13!**

**Also, a large thank you to my editor Zepheera who has been so wonderful and patient with me, and a shout out to MyArtIsInWords for his wonderful art and the thoughtful letter of encouragement he sent!**

**I don't own anything you recognize (they belong to the creative minds at Bioware).**

* * *

Nora Shepard washed the last of Haestrom dust off her body with a long sigh, lingering only a few seconds longer than was prudent. Turning off the scorching water and wrapping herself in a plush towel the commander exited the bathroom with little ceremony.

Dressing was done with economy, a grace borne of practice. Looking around her room, she took comfort in the fact that she recognized every article of clothing, piece of paper and model ship. She had her memories back, but she could also recollect the panic of the days only recently passed. It was a strange combination viewing moments where familiarity and panic blended together.

Opening the last of her desk drawers, Nora drew up short as she spied the small box all but crammed in the back corner. Strange, but she hadn't felt the slightest need for the stims since coming back from Omega. In all honesty, she had almost entirely forgotten she had them still.

Eying them silently for a moment before coming to a decision, Nora put her hands on the box before pausing again.

Could she do this? Could she throw this away?

Thinking back about all the months in which the stims had languished unused Nora realized quite suddenly that she already had. They were no longer a part of her life, and it was time she moved forward.

Without another pause, they went into the garbage chute and as she turned, Nora exhaled slowly, feeling more at peace with herself than ever.

Nora combed a hand through her hair, realizing with pleasant surprise that it was now the length it had been two years earlier. Military approved chin length hair; she tugged gently at a lock before smoothing it down; it was perhaps an inch longer than that, but familiar all the same.

It felt nice to find things as she expected; to feel comfortable in her body.

Sweeping a critical gaze at her reflection on the glass casing of the fish tank she took one last look before turning to retrieve the shotgun that rested on her desk.

Scarred from constant use, tough love and the life of a Spectre, the weapon's familiar weight rested comfortably in the curve of her hand.

Strange how _right_ it felt now… the notion shouldn't have surprised her, but it did. Part of her wondered if the novelty of remembering would ever wear off. Holstering the weapon at her back, Nora had only just settled upon her mattress when the doors opened before her.

The figure that entered the room was so wonderfully familiar that the sight of him caused a slight intake of breath.

"Garrus."

The smile upon her lips trembled as she stared up at him, as unsure as the first time she had met him. She could recall every scratch and scar upon his face, the intensity of his gaze, the feel of his hands as they cradled her close.

And as he crossed the space between door and bed, Nora found that even his smell was one that sparked memories that had, only recently, proved elusive.

"Hey."

His voice was a comforting rumble, smooth but deep, the flanging effect an alien, but inherent part of who he was. Watching as he quietly knelt down before her, his impressive height still required she look up to face him. Nora felt a bubble of warmth fill her chest.

"Hey _you_."

His hands found the sides of her face a moment later, the sharp talons gently brushing tender flesh. Bringing her own human hands to cover his larger ones, Nora smiled as she leaned into the touch, committing the warmth and texture of his touch to memory.

"I missed you."

Three words uttered at the same time, the sentiment a bridge crossing the chasm left by nearly a month of pain and loneliness.

A small chuckle, a human grin and turian sigh passed between them before Nora leaned back slightly. She wanted to spend time with him, but there was one little order of business to care for first.

"Did Tali settle in engineering ok?"

"She did," Blue eyes looked down at her knowingly, "though I know she would appreciate your company if you went to see her."

The mission had been a cacophony of explosions, yelling and the all too familiar fights against the geth. Some things, apparently, did not change. And yet, the quarian they had gone to check on, the young girl Nora knew had turned out to be a bit of a surprise.

A small sigh passed Nora's lips as she leaned against his larger form, "You know I wish these past two years had never happened. I missed everything. Tali seems so different now, more mature."

"She couldn't stay young and naïve forever, Nora." Garrus replied, amusement clear in the timbre of his voice, "Besides, she understands there was nothing you could do."

_She doesn't fault you. None of us do._

"You're sure?"

The turian would have smiled if he could, "She told me to say it until you believed me, you know how she is… like you, very persuasive when she has her shotgun."

Grinning Nora shook her head, "Intimidated were you?"

"Of her? No." Garrus scoffed theatrically, "Of you however… dangerous woman that you are…"

He nudged her backwards, laughing softly at as she squawked in surprise. Following after her, the turian couldn't help but appreciate the way her large eyes widened as he loomed over her.

"Garrus?" Voice husky, warm, Nora couldn't stop the rush of heat across her face.

"You make me feel all fluttery inside." His voice was a dark croon, light hearted as he brushed another wayward strand of hair from her face.

She laughed, scrubbing the side of one cheek with the back of her hand, "Tease."

Settling beside her on the bed, Garrus pulled her close, his expression suddenly serious as he tucked her against him.

"Don't you forget it."

The low-frequency humming of the elevator filled the silence that Nora had reveled in moments before. The time she spent with Garrus was precious in a way that seemed all the more apparent now that she had her memories back. Every little touch, whisper and chuckle was a gift beyond compare; and as she took the short trip down to talk to Tali, she reflected on those who had made such things possible.

Kasumi… Thane.

Kasumi had coveted her lovers' graybox enough to risk death for a few fragmented memories, the only remains of a man who had been so much more than an information thief. So to had Thane kept the memories of his wife close, his perfect memory choosing to recollect those of his soul mate over any other. Of all those on the ship, these two had understood the devastation her heart had suffered even when she could remember nothing.

And then there was Jack. Brash, antisocial Jack; who Nora could only think of with an affectionate smile. The younger woman had never been the easiest person to get along with, but she had always been honest and surprisingly loyal. They had yet to talk since Nora had regained everything, but it seemed pertinent to drop in on the unsuspecting biotic for a chat.

Thinking about it now, Nora realized that months ago, when she had reawakened, she had believed it impossible to be anything but alone in this world that had mourned her death. It seemed ironic that this second life she was leading seemed so full of those she could trust.

There was also an important email from Cerberus that suggested Liara might need to be contacted soon. But that was a worry for a later date; there were others in the ship that needed her more immediate attention.

The doors of the elevator opened with a hiss, and within moments Nora had traveled those scant few feet to where a familiar face was waiting for her.

"Hello Tali."

She was taller now, this quarian woman who she had met once upon a time on the Citadel. There was a confidence to her now that seemed more natural, and though Nora doubted Tali would ever be as cock-sure as Jack, the strength she had shown on Haestrom was remarkable.

"Commander!"

"Garrus thought you'd like the company; I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Eying the extensive Normandy schematics that littered the desk in front of her friend the commander didn't bother trying to understand the technical jargon she saw on the pages. Just as she had her talents, she recognized that her friends came with remarkable abilities for which she had no aptitude.

"I was looking into multi-shield capabilities for the Normandy," her voice rising in excitement, Tali gestured broadly around the engine room. "We've only just started using it in the flotilla and with the Normandy's current power…"

The quarian laughed as she trailed off, "No Commander, you aren't interrupting, I've just been thinking a lot about the possibilities."

Smiling at her friend, Nora settled against the far railing of the engineering bay.

"It's good to see you settling in Tali, really."

"It is… good to see you too Shepard. I cannot say I expected to see you again, and especially on Haestrom, of all places."

The smile on Nora's face deepened into a grin, "What can I say? I was in the neighborhood."

"You… you act as if we did not meet those many months ago on Freedom's Progress." Though the mask on her face made it hard to read facial features, the concern was clear enough.

"Ah well." Nora looked uncomfortable for a moment, "To me this almost feels like a first meeting. I can't recall much of our conversations from back then and…" her mouth curved into a slight smile, "the situation didn't exactly lend itself to us rehashing what had happened these past two years."

Willing her hands to remain still, Nora shrugged again, "If you have any questions about anything you know I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

"I'm here, on this ship, Shepard, because I _trust_ you. I don't work for Cerberus, I work for _you_. I don't need to know more about the Reapers than what you provided for me in these files."

"But…"

"And he still loves you," Stepping closer Tali put one hand on Nora's shoulder and didn't bother explaining who 'he' was.

"I can see it in his face. No matter what has happened, he still trusts you with his heart and that means more to me than anything these two years could have changed."

And though the hum of the Normandy core was not the same, their lives different, there was no denying the confidence of this one quarian that Nora was honored to call her friend.

Nora ducked under a low hanging bit of plumbing as she entered the space Jack had long since claimed as her own. Past meetings had found the biotic up in Nora's private room and so it was with some surprise that Nora noted the changes in the dimly lit room.

Books sat in stacks on the shelf where once they had been strewn across the floor, the blankets on the bed folded. There was a sense of order to the chaos that had once marked Jack's room, a sense of focus, patience. Jack was still Jack though, and no manner of organization would change _that_.

"Hey Shepard. What the hell brings you to this slice of paradise?"

Had Nora not known Jack as well as she did, the woman's coldness might have stung. However, one look at the woman's too serious face had the Commander barely able to stifle the smile that threatened to show.

"Oh you know me, Jack; I missed your sparkling personality."

There really was no way of knowing for sure, but Nora had eyes enough to see there was a tension in her friend that had nothing to do with anger and everything to do with guilt. The careless attitude with which Jack attempted to surround herself had been dispelled with her hesitant and altogether wary greeting.

"It wasn't your fault, Jack."

She spoke the words without really meaning to, knowing the other woman would react poorly like she always did whenever things get to 'mushy.' What she hadn't expected was the flash of pain that couldn't be so easily stifled. As the other woman turned her away, Nora frowned.

"Jack?"

"Shit." The word was spoken softly, viscously repeated as the biotic stared at the far wall, "_Shit."_

"Do you-"

"Would you shut the fuck up for once and let me _think_." Jack rounded on her in an instant, her dark eyes bright in the dimness of the room.

"Well from what I recall the two of us haven't actually talked in several weeks, so I would hope you had done _some_ thinking in that time."

"Don't you start, Shepard."

"Start what?" Nora pressed, "I came down here to talk."

"Well maybe I think it's a bad idea."

"Yeah? Why?"

"Because I'm _upset_ at –"she looked suddenly torn between emotion, "I'm angry ok? I don't like being on this ship, but the one time I leave all this shit happens to you and-"

"I said it wasn't your fault, Jack, and I wasn't just talking for the hell of it."

"Of course you were just saying it!" Rounding on her commander, Jack all but glowed in anger, "I _knew_ this would happen, that you would trust me or some shit like that and… I would end up…killing you or something."

Unable to look Nora directly in the eye, Jack took to pacing, her hands reflexively clenching into fists.

"And?" Nora couldn't help but smile faintly as she watched.

"And…" Jack's face filled at once with helplessness and anger, "And it _sucked._"

Nora studied the other woman before looking at the scarred back of her hand.

"So it would suck. But here's a bit of a news flash, Jack. I'm. Not. Dead."

Clasping the tattooed woman on the shoulder Nora sighed quietly as the other woman shook it off, "Besides, even if you did I can't say the experience would be anything new."

It was a long moment before either woman spoke again, but as Nora turned to leave she could have sworn she saw the trickle of a single tear down Jack's face.

Her second trip to Illium was not, Nora decided, what she had expected. But as she touched the data pad in her pocket, she figured that neither had she ever expected to be given such information.

The location of the Shadow Broker was sitting just beneath her palm.

Knowledge was power, and she knew Liara would want this information. It had seemed to be an obsession when Nora had spoken to the asari last.

But did she truly know this woman who called herself 'Liara'? Was this coldhearted information broker the same sweet asari who she had found in that dig site?

Nora had to believe it was.

Turning to glance over her shoulder to where Garrus and Tali were slowly making their way through the Nos Astra boardwalk, she waited only until they were at the bottom of the stairwell before turning to enter Liara's office.

Her friend was precisely where she had been the last time Nora had visited, almost as if she had never left.

"Shepard."

The smile that greeted her was reserved but genuine, "What can I do for you?"

"I know you're looking for the Shadow Broker. Cerberus gave me data on where to find him." Nora watched as her friend visibly drew taut with the news, "You interested?"

Liara stood up; a smile flickering over her features, "Absolutely! I had no idea…let's see what you've got!"

Handing the device over, images raced across the screen in rapid succession, all but incomprehensible to the commander but clear enough to the information broker.

"This is a leaked transmission between Broker operatives… a possible location and… "Her expression softened then excitement turning to slow elation, "It's about Feron. He's still alive."

Frowning, Nora tried but couldn't recall Liara ever speaking of such a person.

"Who's Feron?"

Liara's smile all but slipped away, "He was a friend. He helped me recover your body from the Shadow Broker."

"The Shadow Broker wanted my corpse?"

Nora couldn't even begin to understand why her body was of any use to a being who dealt in information.

"He was going to sell you to the Collectors, but Feron and I stopped him. Feron sacrificed himself to save me."

Rubbing the back of her neck in confusion, Nora frowned, "Then if you rescued me… how did I end up with Cerberus?"

"Well, they gave me intel to help recover you. They actually put Feron with me in the first place. After I got out I gave you to them. They said they could bring you back."

"Well, that certainly explains things." Smiling ruefully Nora gestured to the data pad, "So what do we do now?"

"I… I don't know." For once, it seemed that the information specialist without an answer, "I need to prepare, to think. I'm going home. Use my terminal if you need any local intel."

Liara's hands were trembling, and the more Nora watched, the more visibly upset and strained her friend became.

"You ok, Liara?"

The asari couldn't even look at her, "I've spent two years plotting revenge. Now I have the chance to make it a rescue."

Her expression was almost bleak despite the joy those words should have brought, the possibility of a happy ending, of hope not enough to cast away the loneliness of two year spent plotting.

"Let me help, Liara." Nora turned, stopping her friend before she could leave, "I'll come by your apartment?"

"Okay." There was no hesitation in this acceptance of aid this return of friendship, "Hopefully I'll have a plan by then… Thank you, Shepard."

And then, with the flash of a youthful smile the asari went to collect her thoughts.

"Take those trace samples over to the lab to be tested."

Their arrival at Liara's apartment several hours later was something out of an old Earth crime vid. The rain buffeted against the towering paneled windows, the apartment itself was only barely lit, and every few meters an officer wearing security colors was standing looking for evidence.

"Multiple shots fired, techs are going over them now."

There was no sign of Liara, and it was _that_ fact that worried Nora the most.

"Mind telling me what's going on?"

Addressing the asari, who appeared to be leading the investigation, Nora had only just started gathering details when another asari, this one with deep purple facial markings appeared. It was to _this_ one that all others deferred.

"Someone tried to kill your friend, Commander Shepard."

Her voice was deeper than most asari, almost husky. Suited in a light blue armor, the new comer had to utter but a few words before the entire investigative team was dismissed.

"Tela Vasir, Special Tactics and Recon."

It had been a while since someone had used the formal title, but Nora recognized it nonetheless, "You're a Spectre?"

Vasir nodded, "I take it you had some business with your friend this evening, Commander?"

"Liara was following a lead on the Shadow Broker." Nora's gut twisted at the words, "We were supposed to meet here."

"The Shadow Broker?" The other Spectre seemed to weight those words, "That's a dangerous enemy to have."

Grimacing, Nora nodded in agreement.

"Liara's office wasn't safe, so if she had left a message it would have been here."

Folding her arms as she thought, Vasir gave the luxurious apartment a slow appraisal, pausing every so often on sculptures, paintings, anything that gave life to the otherwise coldly modern complex.

"I haven't found anything useful for tracking her down yet. You know T'soni better than I do, where would she have hidden her backups?"

"Let me take a look around?" Nora slowly turned in a circle, "I'll call you over if I find anything."

She checked the bedroom first; it seemed the most likely place to put anything personal. It was also the most obvious, and so Nora lingered over the little things, the fish tank, the painting on the far wall. Neither seemed to hold any special clues, the fish were nothing of note and the painting itself was beautiful but abstract and ultimately unusable.

Even the small photo frame Liara had placed by her bed seemed nondescript. Picking up the frame Nora bent down to examine the ship in the plane, blinking suddenly when the image changed.

Vasir seemed to materialized behind her.

"Find anything?"

"It…" Unable to really explain the mechanics of what had just happened, Nora tilted the image until the other woman could see it, "It changed when I touched it."

"It must be keyed to your I.D. What is the picture of now?"

Nora smiled, "It's a Prothean dig site. Liara did leave a message." And all they had to do was find the one Prothean relic that was different from all the others. Though, as Nora walked around the bedroom and then the lower floor, she realized that it might take a while.

And indeed it did, for it was almost an hour into the search when she found the appropriate sculpture, and, upon approaching activated it to release the small, rounded backup file.

"Let's try it in her terminal." Already Vasir was waiting, her hands racing across the keys and readying the machine.

The short recording played easily enough, a conversation between Liara and a salarian named Sekat. They were to meet at Baria Frontiers in the Dracon Trade Center, but what sort of information was never actually discussed, and Liara's big discovery was left unmentioned.

"Whatever it was must have been dangerous enough to make her a target." Glancing at her team, she was greeted with grim nods.

"I don't suppose you know where this trade center is?"

Vasir smiled.

"I do. Come on, my car's outside."

The mission was going so wrong, so fast that it was making Nora's head spin.

_Would there ever be a mission that remained straight and simple?_

She had known that delivering such sensitive information to her friend had the potential to be dangerous. She had admittedly expected several armed attempts to steal the information or perhaps all out combat somewhere. But for all of her thinking, never had it occurred to her that the Shadow Broker would put so little stock in life, or the art of being subtle when so much of his identity was based on the silent workings of the galaxy.

He had blown up three floors of the Dracon Trade Center, and the number of casualties seemed to grow ever higher as Nora and her team worked their way to the heart of the explosion.

_ Was Liara even alive?_

Everywhere they turned they saw bodies or heard the cries of those in need. For those they found, Nora did what she could, but no-one on the team was a medic, and their supply of medigel was quickly depleted.

Vasir had left with her car to the rooftop of the building in case any survivors had managed to scurry to the top, but she had also warned about the possibility of enemy forces.

Gritting her teeth against another wave of gunfire and smoke, Nora pushed forward under the cover of a well-placed biotic shockwave.

They were at the last door, Sekat's door. All they had to do was clear the hall and they would be one step closer to where Liara had last been headed.

"Nora, get down!"

Ducking, she rolled just as Garrus squeezed off two shots from behind her, taking out two before Nora was on her knees to finish off the third. Covering Tali as she moved to the door to deal with the lock, Nora crushed the fourth and final hostile as Garrus traded his sniper rifle for the flexibility of the assault rifle.

Watching in guarded silence, Nora almost smiled as Tali sliced through the lock just as fast as she had all those years ago. This lock was many times harder than the one they had encountered that first time, and the speed of such decryption was a testament to the quarians abilities.

The body of Sekat was waiting for them, as was the other Spectre, standing amidst the caved-in roof and rubble.

"Vasir?"

"I'm sorry, Shepard." She holstered her weapon as she spoke, "If I had been just a few minutes faster I could've stopped them."

Leaning over the body, Nora examined the dead Salarian with a critical eye, her attention leaving the other Spectre as she gently turned the body over to keep looking.

Mouth pressed into a grimace, Nora turned to where Garrus and Tali were guarding the door. "There's no sign of the data Liara talked about. It looks like a dead end."

"Speaking of which." Vasir's voice cut through the tense silence that followed, "did you find your friend's body?"

"You mean _this_ body?"

Nora _knew_ that voice, and as she turned she was surprised to find Liara, not only alive, but _very_ upset. Expression cold, her body taut in anger, Liara seemed locked on the other Specter, her gun unwavering as it remained pointed at Vasir's chest.

It was only when her friend advanced towards Vasir that the Nora stepped in, her expression searching, looking for an explanation.

"Something I should know, Liara?"

Moving slowly to keep Vasir firmly in her sights, Liara had nearly cleared Nora's location before she spoke. Her usual melodic voice had dropped to an angry snarl.

"This is the woman who tried to kill me."

The commander's head spun toward Vasir in surprise; the other specter seemed almost sympathetic as Liara drew closer.

"You've had a rough day so I'll let that slide." Patiently waiting as Liara advanced once more, Vasir made no move to draw her own weapon. "Why don't you put that gun down?"

There was a beat of tense silence, a beat in which Nora doubted her friend. And then it was gone, and Nora knew who she supported.

"I saw you!" Furious, Liara straightened momentarily to look Vasir straight in the eye, "I doubled back after I left. I watched you break into my apartment!"

And that was when everything fell into place.

"You didn't know where Liara went because she hid the message. You needed me to find it for you." Slowly drawing her shotgun from its holster, Nora pointed it at Vasir.

And if she had any doubts before, they were firmly expunged as Vasir's once innocent face twisted into a sneer, "Thanks for the help."

"Once she had my location she contacted the Shadow Broker's forces." Liara's voice was softer now, steady, "They bombed the building to take me out."

Vasir crossed her arms at the accusations.

"She found Sekat, took his data and killed him."

Risking a quick glance at Nora, Liara frowned, "I'm guessing she still had the disk on her."

And that was when the chase began in earnest, for no sooner had Liara finished when Vasir threw herself off the balcony of the building.

Swearing, Nora had barely a split second to think before she followed quickly after, hands finding purchase on Vasir's armored shoulder just as the woman used her biotics to slow her descent.

And as her fist collided with the asari's face, Nora grimaced.

_Just what had she gotten herself into this time?_

"You're dead. The Shadow Broker has been in power for decades. He's stronger than anything you've ever faced."

Vasir was dying, blood was pooling around her and already the color was leaching from her body. Tired, bruised and feeling the onset of a very painful headache, Nora remained silent as her body tried to recover from the strain.

The last few hours were blurring together, the fight at the trade center, the confrontation with Vasir where she had taken their data and…

Nora shuddered as she remembered the car chase.

Two years ago she had dutifully remained away from the Mako controls to spare herself and her crew the pain that came with being an inept driver. Today Liara had been less than lucky, and both had emerged from the car alive but more than a little motion sick.

"The Broker's given me good intel over the years. Intel that saved lives and kept the Council safe."

Behind her Nora could tell Liara was listening, and though she wanted to turn away both women allowed Vasir's angry diatribe to go on uninterrupted. Every word, every detail was a weapon they could use against the Shadow Broker and Nora could not risk losing a single advantage.

And when at last Vasir fell silent, Liara made the arrangements; taking the data they had retrieved from the renegade Specter to locate the Shadow Broker's base.

Liara was stiff as she told Nora of her plan, her smooth movements almost jerky as she led them back to the car, and later to the loading bay of the Normandy. Her every concern was entirely on Feron, and not for the first time Nora wondered if maybe this man was more than just a 'dear' friend.

Had she been in a similar position Nora didn't doubt that she would be doing the same, and as the Normandy took off, guided by Liara's intel, Nora promised herself that she and Liara would have a chat very soon.

The Shadow Broker's vessel was beautiful, surprisingly so, golden amidst the stormy clouds around them.

"Hagalaz." Liara's voice was smooth as she spoke into Nora's ear. Having calmed since their arrival in the planet's atmosphere, the asari seemed entirely focused on the task at hand, her anger and frustration replaced by the liquid calm she had exhibited so often two years ago.

"The oceans boil during the day, then snap freeze ten minutes after sundown."

"The Shadow Broker lives in this?"

Caught between the brightness of the sun and the darkness of the storm, the larger ship seemed almost an illusion. Nodding, Liara gestured to the flickering image outside the shuttle window.

"His ship follows the sunset. Completely undetectable in the storm, unless you know where to look."

A loud crash of thunder shook the shuttle enough to make all occupants brace themselves. Gritting her teeth, Nora tightened the belt around her waist before asking, "How do we get inside?"

Next to her Thane sat quietly by, calmly checking the conditions of his weapons while she and Liara continued to talk. A proverbial eye of the storm amidst the chaos that surrounded him, Nora needed his steady hand and quick skills on this mission.

He wouldn't disappoint.

"Damn."

Nora coughed roughly as she stepped over the body of yet another guard, wiping her bloodied mouth with the back of a hand, "Close call that time."

They had only just managed to breech the exterior of the ship, the opposition they found to their entry was formidable. The guards inside were proving to be very much the same.

"Siha?"

Nora spit out the last of the blood with a slight look of distaste before turning to her friend. Covered in a similar film of dirt, Thane watched her with a quiet concern.

Grinning despite the pain, Nora shook her head, "Not you too, Thane. Garrus worries enough for the whole crew."

In the dim lighting of the ship, the Drell assassin merely smiled back, "You enjoy it."

"Oh maybe" She smiled, "But I'm fine, do let's keep going."

And so they did, following Liara further into the lair, meeting heavier resistance the closer they got to the heart of the ship. It was almost half an hour before they found the cell block, and in it, the companion Liara had spoken about.

Strapped to a chair with hundreds of circuits and cables connecting him to some larger machine, the drell lay unmoving in his prison.

"Feron!"

Liara was crossing the room before either Nora or Thane could say otherwise, her eyes wide. Her own pain seemed reflected in the expression of the drell as he came awake, his voice ragged as he struggled to raise his head.

"Liara?"

"Hold on – we're getting you out of here."

She had already made it to the control panel, hands flying across the screen before his softly uttered 'no' was replaced with the sound of sizzling flesh and his cries of pain.

"Feron!"

Liara stepped quickly away, swallowing thickly as the torture finished, leaving her friend gasping for breath.

Grimacing, Nora stepped closer to the glass enclosure, looking for some clue to deactivating it. Feron seemed to understand what she intended, but the information he gave them only served to make the situation that much tougher.

"The chair is plugged into the Shadow Broker's info network. You have to shut off the power. Pull me out now and my brain cooks."

Liara began to work in earnest, her omni-tool humming as she brought up several diagnostic scans of the drell. Her expression seemed to grow increasingly distressed as the information streamed in.

"Do you know where we can cut the power?"

"It won't be easy," Feron grimaced as he shifted slightly, "You'll have to go to central operations. The Shadow Broker will probably be there – and he's big. The guards are afraid of him."

"Did you get a good look at him then?" Liara pressed her friend gently, "A Krogan, perhaps?"

"I don' know." The fatigue on the drell's face seemed all too apparent, "But not everyone who goes into his office-"

There was another volley of lighting, and Feron groaned, struggling to remain conscious once the wave had passed.

"Central operations is down the hall." He was breathing heavily now, large gasping breaths that seemed to shake his frail body, "You'll have to fight your way there."

And although Nora disappeared out the door of the room almost immediately, Thane following her into action, Liara lingered there for a few seconds longer, her words echoing in a sincere promise.

"We'll be back for you, Feron."

The Shadow Broker was a figure of legend, of Citadel rumor and galactic myth. A being who knew every secret of every government agency of every species in space, it seemed appropriate that they found him sitting behind a desk.

It figured, Nora thought as she slowly entered the large chamber, that he would hid himself in the very shadows of his name. He was a single creature, and no doubt just as mortal as the rest of the universe. Nora cocked her shotgun and stepped forward.

It was time to end this.

"Here for the drell?"

The voice rumbled as if it had come from the depths of space itself, and it seemed to chide her as she stood there.

"Reckless, even for you, Commander."

Raising an eyebrow, Nora couldn't help the sarcasm that came so readily to her lips.

"That bombing on Illium wasn't exactly what I'd call subtle."

"Extreme, but necessary." The words were uncompromising, unrepentant.

"No it wasn't!" Liara's voice rang out, furious, as she strode to Nora's side, "Neither was imprisoning Feron for two years!"

"Doctor T'soni. Your interference caused all this." Large dark eyes seemed to momentarily settle on Nora before turning back to the asari, "Feron betrayed me when he handed you Shepard's body. The drell is simply paying the price"

Liara stiffened in anger, but it was Nora who spoke up first, "Be smart: let Feron walk out with us."

"You are not walking out at all." The Shadow Broker rumbled.

"For someone with few placed left to hide you are very confident." Liara's tone was clipped, her eyes flinty and cold.

"But you do travel with interesting companions, T'soni. The drell assassin was an excellent choice."

Hands tightening on the grip of her gun, Liara's voice echoed firmly, challenged the shadowy specter, "You're not putting a hand on anyone!"

"It's pointless to challenge me, asari. I know your every secret while you fumble in the dark."

"Oh really?" There was a sneer on Liara's lips, "You're a yahg, a pre-spaceflight race quarantined to their home word for massacring the Council's first-contact forces. This ship is older than your planet's discovery, which probably means you killed the old Shadow Broker, then took over."

The monstrous shadow had fallen silent save for the low sound of its breathing.

"I'm guessing you were taken from your world by a trophy hunter who wanted a slave… or a pet." There was a careful cruelty in the asari's words, "Tell me, how am I doing?"

He got to his feet then, slowly rising until he towered well above any of them. Growling, he had only just reached his full height when he hurled the weight of his fists on the desk before him. Wrought of metal and the finest electrical wiring, the desk may as well have been made of paper as it was ripped off of its hinges, turning into a deadly projectile a moment later.

Grabbing Liara, Nora had only a second to throw them both out of harm's way, and though she hit the ground with enough force to make her grunt, the remnants of the table that did hit them were harmless enough. However, no sooner had she scrambled to her feet when she realized Thane was missing.

Wheeling around, she scanned the debris, blinking through the dust. Distantly she could hear the Shadow Broker roaring in fury, but it wasn't until she located Thane under a pile of rubble that she decided upon her course of action.

First and foremost, Thane had to be pulled out of harm's way.

Moving quickly, and with Liara at her back, Nora skirted the edge of the battlefield and after a few carefully placed biotic lifts and pulls managed to clear the largest pieces of debris.

But before they could pull Thane away, they were interrupted by the hulking form of the Shadow Broker. Swearing, Nora barely had time to engage a secondary shield before his fist came down, the large energy shield he carried more akin to a battering ram than item of defense.

Swearing under her breath as her shields dropped to fifty percent capacity, Nora staggered under the force of the hit. Turning her stumble into a roll to the side, Nora reached out with her biotic power to grab one of the larger remnants of the metal desk.

Blue energy crackled as the connection was made, but without the practice Nora could barely tug the table towards her. Having always excelled at applying biotic powers to her own body or in a more linear 'wave' of destruction, the pull ability was her weakest ability.

"Liara, some help here!"

Abandoning the table, Nora drew her shogun from its holster and fired several times, forcing the Shadow Broker to duck behind his energy bludgeon as his shields fell swiftly to the heavy shots of her favored weapon.

The distraction worked, and the metal desk crashed into the yahg seconds later, casting him to the ground, pinning him for a moment as he howled in outrage.

Taking this opening Nora leapt into motion, pulling Thane free from the last pieces of rubble and moving his body behind cover.

She was beside Liara in the next moment, peppering their adversary with a barrage of bullets in an attempt to pull down the shields Liara needed gone for her biotic powers to have an effect.

The fighting proved to be intense. Where Vasir had used the swiftness of biotics paired with the additional aid of all sorts of soldiers, the Shadow Broker had the gifts of brute strength and a very powerful shield.

Biotics were useless against the shields, and while she specialized in close-quarters combat Nora knew she would have to choose her moment of attack with great care. The longer they fought, the better she understood the Broker's style of fighting, but there was no room for error. With Thane out neither Liara nor Nora could afford to fall and leave the other to fight alone.

They had to work as a team.

"The shields are kinetically sensitive! Bullets and projectiles are bouncing off!"

White glowing shielding was covering the Shadow Broker as he froze for the second time, rendering their attacks useless. They had been unable to figure out an attack the first time he had fallen into such a pose, but now Nora had an idea.

"It looks like we've got to do this the hard way."

Seconds later, her fist connected with the Broker's head, shattering the shield as her other fist connected just above one large alien eye. Grunting as she ducked a wide swing of a fist, Nora was looking to plant a third hit when his shield arm smashed into her, sending her through the air before hitting the ground with a heavy thud.

The fighting continued then. With his primary shielding now out of commission, the Shadow Broker had only his kinetic shields and those took time to charge. Laying down wave after wave of destruction, Nora and Liara blended biotic fury with firepower until those specialized shields snapped up a third time.

Slamming the butt of her shotgun down with a vicious efficiency, Nora took care of the shield and landed several more blows before she was forced back. The crackle of biotic energy filled the air as Liara directed her devastating powers into action and a biotic storm momentarily swallowed the Broker before the asari had to pull back, temporarily drained.

Ducking under cover as the Shadow Broker retaliated with a barrage of firepower; it was Liara's voice in her ear that outlined the plan to end this battle.

Force him to bring his shields up one final time, break it, and in the ten seconds that it took for him to recover mobility Liara would bring the ceiling crashing down on his head.

The last wave of combat seemed to be the hardest. Bodies taxed from heavy biotic use, the Shadow Broker was relentless as he came after them, heavy arms swinging through the air, the forceful blows of his shield denting hull and armor alike.

It was partly by luck that Liara landed the blow that would force the yahg to use his shield.

"Last one, Shepard!"

Liara's voice cut through the sound of combat, the gunfire and groans of beast and man. It was the only signal Nora received as she forced herself into action a final time. Her arms were almost entirely numb now, her lungs burning, but Nora was going to see it through. Ducking out of the way of a vicious backhanded shield strike, she rolled to the side before turning, pivoting from her crouched position behind the Broker. Securing her shotgun in both hands, Nora bellowed for her friend as she landed one last strike as the Shadow Broker's activated the kinetic shield.

"Now, Liara!"

And then it was done, the glass of the ceiling splintering into hundreds of shining shards, glittering in the scarce light, a glittering cloud of lightning and energy that swelled and grew.

A single breath was all Nora managed before the explosion rocked the large hall, and though she had expected to find herself knocked back by such force, the flicker of biotic power around her proved Liara was handling the situation entirely.

And then it was finished.

Floating like ghostly lights, the last pieces of the Shadow Broker disintegrated before her eyes, and though she had not anticipated it, Nora found herself quite suddenly deafened by silence. Liara said nothing as she helped her friend up, turning towards the cell block to release Feron before the first of the messages crackled through the comm.

"_This is Operative Murat… we've had connection failure… Operative Shora requesting an update…"_

Hundreds of voice demanded attention required tending. This was the network that connected worlds, governments, crime syndicates and humanitarian work across galaxies. There was power to be had in controlling these resources, but who had the wherewithal

Looking up from where she had dragged Thane, Nora kept one hand on the drell's chest unwilling to leave him for a task for which she had no training. But though she remained where she was, Liara did not, and Nora's eyes remained locked on her friend as the asari strode across the room and with several taps to the screen made contact.

"This is the Shadow Broker." Liara's lovely voice sounded harsh over the comm link, masculine and unchanged. "The situation is under control."

Of all the surprises in the last few hours, this one was perhaps the one that caught Nora most unaware. Watching her friend maneuver so smoothly through the lies, establishing new routines and collecting the information she needed, Liara was a sight to behold.

Behind her, the doors slid open with a hiss that drew Nora's attention, but went unnoticed by the still busy asari.

Feron, armed and angry stood silhouetted in the doorway, but as he caught sight of Liara he hesitated.

Under her hands and after the final dose of a particularly potent medigel, Thane regained consciousness enough to slowly sit up.

"Goddess of the Oceans… it's you. You… how?"

Feron's voice was rough like Thane's, but somehow lighter, less strained. Nora had never heard any drell other than Thane and his son so the difference was startling.

Helping Thane to stand beside her, Nora frowned as she had to steady him when he coughed more forcefully than she could remember. He had said little about the disease that was killing him, but it was clear to her that the Kepral's Syndrome was advancing quickly.

"… You're the new Shadow Broker."

Feron looked stunned as he holstered his weapon, drawing up beside Liara just as she finished.

"Are you sure you want this, Liara?"

There was no denying her friend had the skill, but Nora did not think becoming the universe's broker of secrets had been her plan either. Maintaining her supportive grip on Thane, she walked just close enough to speak without raising her voice.

"I'm not sure of anything." There was an anxious expression Liara's face as she turned from the flickering monitors, "But with this information I could… I can…" Her voice hitched suddenly, and Feron shifted uncomfortably before making his excuses. Thane too was offered an arm, and the two drell limped quietly out of the hall, leaving the women to their conversation.

Liara started crying almost immediately, tracks of tears silently spilling down her cheeks as she tried to consolidate the events of the past few days.

"It's over. It's finally… for two years…"

Nora moved, hugging her friend tightly as she swayed a little.

"It's all right." She said softly, patting Liara on the back, reminding her that she was not alone. And when at last the tears had stopped, Liara pulled away with a smile, a real smile that seemed to close the distance between the present and the friendship from two years ago.

"Okay, let's see what our options are."

They spent a few moments scanning through the information before Liara concluded she would have to take a closer look at it later. She seemed so easy around these machines, at home with the powers of espionage and intelligence at her fingertips.

As if sensing her friend's thoughts, Liara turned from the monitor to glance at the human who stood beside her.

"All I wanted was to rescue Feron. But… is it wrong that part of me wants this?"

Liara's eyes were alight, "I have a purpose now, helping you stop the Reapers. It will keep me honest."

There was a hint of a smile at those words, one Nora couldn't help but imitate.

"Keep you honest?" Nora grinned as she teased the asari, "You mean to tell me you're not _always_ honest with me? Goodness how the times have changed. We really should catch up, Liara."

"You're not too busy with everything?"

"I want to take Thane to Doctor Chakwas… and there _are_ the Reapers to think about. But I think I can spare a few hours." Nora winked as Thane and Feron reappeared in the doorway.

"What do you say, Liara?"

"That sounds wonderful. I'll meet you in an hour."

And as Liara departed with Feron, Nora looped her arm around Thane.

"Siha?"  
"Let's get you to the doctor, Thane."

Perhaps now things would change for the better.

Nora had just finished filling the first of two wine glasses when Liara arrived in her quarters. Thane was sleeping in the Med Bay and had promised to speak with her after he had woken. But until then, the commander could deal with her friend.

Pouring the second glass as she turned Nora asked, "Did you enjoy the tour?

"Yes." There was a soft smile on the asari's face, "It's a beautiful ship, and I ran into Joker. He seemed happy to see me."

Grinning, Nora crossed the room to hand her friend a drink. "I bet."

"It was… very strange. He asked me if I'd 'embraced eternity' lately."

Nora sighed with affectionate exasperation, "Of course he did."

"I suppose some things never change, no matter the years." Liara smiled tentatively, taking the proffered glass as she sat down. "But…"

She sighed softly, her amusement fading slightly. "Here… I brought you something. It took some digging but…"

There on blue satin, pressed beneath sturdy glass two familiar metallic tags flashed in the dim light. Swallowing a sudden lump in her throat, Nora took the gift and stared hard at the name pressed so deeply in the metal. It seemed as if she had worn those tags a lifetime ago. Shaking her head in disbelief Nora was quick to realize that it really had, quite literally, been a lifetime ago.

Nora smiled sadly, "I thought I'd never see these again."

"They changed hands more than once." Liara offered as way of explanation, watching as her friend traced the words with a trembling finger, "Do you remember Admiral Hackett? He gave them to me so I could give them to you. He sends his best and hopes you're ok."

Standing up, the Commander moved to her desk, placing the tags reverently beside her data pad. Appearing behind her, Liara placed a comforting hand on Nora's tight shoulders.

"So how are you doing, Shepard? I mean _really_; not what you tell your squad to keep moral up." Another small smile, "I know you too well, so no lies Nora. Not to me."

Looking over her shoulder, Nora grimaced for a second before turning around, "You want the truth huh?"

The hands on her shoulders kneaded gently, "I wouldn't ask if I didn't care."

Exhaling slowly Nora settled herself before fully turning around to face her friend.

"Between you and me, I have no idea how we're going to do this." Gesturing vaguely into the darkness of space the she grimaced. "I'm doing everything I can but…" Nora laughed, "I'm a walking corpse who only just recently remembered who her crewmates were and what the mission objectives are. Not exactly a sterling condition for a leader to be in."

"You've always been more than just a 'leader,' Nora." Liara's smile was patient, kind, "Even now, there wouldn't be a man, woman or child left on Horizon if not for you."

"You know the worst part of it? Cerberus planted information to lead the Collectors there. They would have hit another world if we hadn't been there and…"

Nora smiled a little self-mockingly, "Aren't you going to tell me to not work with Cerberus?"

"I gave Cerberus your body so they could repair you. What should I say?" Liara's smile was equally strained, "But I trust you, Shepard, you'll follow your beliefs no matter what Cerberus wants."

"Willfully following my own ideas is what I've been doing my whole life." Nora scrubbed her cheek with the back of her hand and moved until she was sitting on the corner of her bed, "Not that the Council approves, to them we're still young and primitive."

"Young," Liara smiled, "You know I am one hundred and eight, one hundred and nine in a couple of months."

Eyebrows raised in humor Nora faced her friend, "Ah, well then I should get you something nice."

Liara shook her head, "You're alive again. I've got everything I want. But tell me…" Propping her hand on her hip, Nora noted with some amusement that Liara had begun to emulate human women when they began to gossip. "What do _you_ want, Nora. What are you fighting for?"

Knowledge flashed behind those blue eyes and Nora didn't have to clarify.

"For Garrus?"

Liara's voice gentled, her expression sweetening as she watched Nora, the almost imperceptible flush that tinged her cheeks, the way her lips quirked into an instinctive half-smile at his name.

Nora had taken him only on the beginning of the mission, but Liara was the _Shadow Broker_ now, and it would appear there was little she did not already know.

"He's been hurt, betrayed. He deserves something better."

Unable to help her train of thought Nora looked up from her bed-side perch. "I never thought I'd find peace in the arms of a turian but..."

"I know most humans find asari attractive but knowing you…" Liara sat beside her friend, "I do not think anyone _but_ Garrus, regardless of race, would have driven you so hard."

Leaning against her, Liara smiled, "I hope the two of you find some happiness, Shepard."

"I want you to find the same, Liara."Nora leaned back until their heads were pressed together, their faces close.

"Were you and Feron-?"

"No." The word was lightly spoken, "And we won't be… not right now. He's in too delicate a condition and it would be… I couldn't take advantage of him like that."

"But you care for him?" Nora pressed with a knowing smile.

"I… umm… yes. He is a dear friend and maybe… well we'll see."

And if anyone had walked in they would have found the Hero of the Citadel and the Shadow Broker laughing merrily, the world temporarily forgotten. Just the two of them, friends, who even after two years were able to fill the large Cerberus office with memories and the warmth of camaraderie that time could not erase.

The next month all but evaporated for the crew of the Normandy. Missions were completed with a ferocity that bordered on the exhausting. Every member of the team was feeling the strain, but so too could they feel as if the final meeting was rushing up to meet them and their time was running out. More and more colonies were disappearing, and more than one crewman had lost family.

All that was left was to test the Reaper IFF they had retrieved, it would happen today, while the rest of the team went to visit the quarian Migrant Fleet in the Valhallan Threshold.

But before the mission could be green lit, there was one last thing Nora had to do.

"Hello Mordin."

Nora entered the medical bay for her weekly checkup, her face bruised from more than a few rough missions. She had been all but been required to undergo these evaluations if just because it made the rest of the crew feel better. Even Garrus, Nora chucked in quiet exasperation, had insisted.

"Hello, Shepard. Everything ready for you, sit there please. Will commence tests soon, but have one other concern first."

"A concern?" Nora frowned, brow creasing, "I hope it's not serious."

"Aware that mission is dangerous." The salarian blinked several times in rapid succession before continuing, "Different species react differently to stress."

Not quite understanding where her resident scientist was going with that particular train of thought Nora remained silent.

"Sexual activity normal stress relief for both humans _and_ turians. Still, recommend caution. Warn of… chaffing."

The subject was, admittedly, not what Nora was expecting at all, and there was little helping the flush that rose on her cheeks. It was strange enough discussing the relationship with Jack, never mind the clinically minded doctor.

That she and Garrus had never even discussed such a situation in serious detail before only made it more awkward.

Still, she couldn't fault him for good intentions, and so she did her best replying in a manner befitting a commander.

"I intend to be cautious, Doctor but Garrus is important to me. You're not going to scare me off."

"Of course. Hormones." Mordin eyed her with equal parts pity and humor, "Regardless, come see me later. May need analgesic. Chaffing."

There really was no helping the secondary rush of color to her face; it really was disconcerting to speak about her sex life so candidly…especially with Mordin.

"You have a recommendation as a doctor?"

"Turians based on dextro-amino acids. Human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reactions. Anaphylactic shock possible. So don't, ah," Mordin coughed roughly, "ingest."

"Also," with a flourish Mordin pulled a data pad from his pocket, "Forwarding advice booklet to your quarters. Valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zone overviews."

Smile readily he continued, "Can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort. Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary."

That the salarian doctor had information, Nora could understand…that he had uploaded _vids_. The woman swallowed

"Wait a minute, Mordin. You're just yanking me around aren't you?"

It was half a desperate plea and part accusation, Nora couldn't have said which the clear intent of her comment was.

The teasing smirk on the salarian's face only confirmed what his halfhearted words refuted.

"Shocking suggestion! Doctor patient confidentiality a sacred trust…would never dream of _mockery_."

"Enjoy yourself Shepard. Will be here studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required."

And though she had told herself she would be mature, that she was a grown woman who was no stranger to the goings on between men, women and alien of all kind, Nora found herself excusing herself as quickly as possible. It wasn't likely she was to forget this conversation anytime soon, the words were all but burned into her mind. And though she tried to pretend otherwise, her getaway was anything but subtle.

"I'll see you later Mordin, I've got a… mission I um…gotta go to. Bye!"

"Goodbye Shepard. Remember…chaffing!"

The team arrived on the Flotilla some two hours later, all fully geared and ready. Nora had had half a mind to stop Garrus and have a _certain_ conversation with him regarding the resident doctor but decided otherwise.

They would have that conversation, but for now there was a mission to be had.

"Joker to Shepard, you there Commander?"

They had only just cleared the quarian security when Joker's voice crackled over the radio, tense and anxious.

"Commander, we've got a bit of a situation. Please respond."

Nora signaled for Tali and Garrus to wait as the rest of the team drew up behind them.

"Go ahead Joker."

"The ship was attacked, the crew has been taken. I think we may just have run out of time."


	14. Chapter 14: Breathe

AN:So it's been a disgustingly long time since I've updated this fic - but I've done it. Better yet, I've actually finished the fic and will be posting the second new (and final) chapter within a week or two once my lovely beta Zepheera gets back to me. I have gone ahead and posted this fic before she could give me her edits - so forgive the errors. They will be updated as soon as I get them.

Thanks to all who continued to write me and encourage me to keep going - this is for all of you :)

Warning: Minor steamy scene (I don't think it warrants an 'M' rating but let me know ASAP if I'm wrong! Thank You!)

And as always, I own nothing you recognize (Bioware owns it).

Enjoy! The end is in sight!

~Voi

* * *

There had always been too much noise, people talking, and the hum of the machines had always seemed too loud for a mind taxed to the very limits.

Nora had lived aboard ships for most of her adult life and these sounds had always been the worst, that and the lack of privacy. Seniority and position had since afforded her measured quantities of both, allowed her space she needed. But now, as she walked through the abandoned mess hall, Nora could scarcely stand the silence.

The emptiness, the coldness of such a space was unnerving, and though her mind had the ability to think amidst the silence there was nothing but regret. The human cost was slowly growing, becoming more personal in a way Nora had known it would.

Her experience in Akuze had taught her that such things were possible, indeed highly likely. Not matter how much one braced themselves, every loss felt like a keen wound. Nora felt like she was wounded, and the irony of it was that had such an attack happened a month ago she would not have mourned a crew that she could not remember. She remembered them now, and their abduction weighed heavily on her mind, her shoulders.

"Commander Shepard?" Miranda appeared in the doorway of her office, her genetically perfect face set in a grim expression.

"I'm coming."

Nora's eyes lingered on the empty chairs, the vacant post in the kitchen that Sergeant Gardner, the resident chef_ and _janitor, seemed to always inhabit.

Joker had been apologetic, unnecessarily of course, but if that helped her pilot function better then who was she to say otherwise. There were deep purple bruises on his hands and arms, having been privy to Joker's explanation, it was clear that the pilot had done everything he could to minimize the damage. And of course, EDI had helped. Joker had said as much, and the way he treated the ship AI seemed to reflect this heightened respect.

"_Commander_."

Miranda's voice called her again, anxiety edged with something else, anger perhaps.

Exhaling slowly, Nora turned in place, surveying the mess hall a final time. And then the moment was gone, and the commander followed the Cerberus agent to the now coldly familiar office.

"You wanted to talk to me, Miranda?"

Because she already had an idea of where this conversation was going, Nora didn't bother to sit down, couldn't trust herself to be closer. Her hands tightened on the back of a sleek chair and she forced herself to inhale slowly.

_ Breathe. _

"Commander. Joker mentioned it, and I just had EDI confirm it." Miranda began the moment she settled herself behind her desk, "The ship is ready for the Omega Relay. And I think we should make the jump as soon as possible."

"We have yet to clear up Tali's trial before the board to Admirals." Nora had been weighing these decisions ever since she had received Joker's call over the comm. "Everyone has to be focused on the mission, _entirely _focused. She could put us in danger if she's not…we _need _to finish this."

"We are _out_ of time, Commander."

"Tali is my _friend_ –"

"And the crew is _your _responsibility commander. Put. Them. First."

Of all the times she felt at odds with Miranda, never before had Nora found herself to be on the losing side of the argument. But this one, _this _important argument, was one that she was going to have to lose. She had to set aside her personal feelings to do her duty, because even though she wanted to, there was no way she could hesitate to save her crew, hesitate to save the many for just the one. She was their commanding officer, and though she had never thought she would be protective of a Cerberus crew, they were her responsibility and she had come to care about each one of them.

Telling Tali would be tough, Nora knew, but hopefully her friend would understand even if the quarian wouldn't be able to forgive. Because there was no time to check Nora could only hope Tali was a more seasoned warrior, and rely on her team to cover what weaknesses appeared.

Her mind made up, Nora released her grip on the back of the chair, her voice steady, focused for what was to come.

"I'll talk to Joker," Steady, Nora didn't bother to look at the other woman as she gave her final order, "You check with Jacob and Mordin to see if those weapons upgrades are coming along."

And then she was gone, sweeping out of the room to where her pilot was waiting, her mind working furiously reworking plans and contingencies that now needed full extrapolation.

_They had no more time to plan. _

* * *

"Hey, Commander."

Joker's greeting was sedate by all accounts, a sentiment that Nora couldn't help but empathize with. With the crew gone, the bridge was very much like the mess hall, a mausoleum of the lost. It was a small comfort to know that EDI kept the pilot constant company.

"I need you to set a course for the Omega 4 Relay, Joker." Nora answered by way of greeting, her voice steady, her eyes sharp as she scanned the overhead map and watched him type in the coordinates.

"All set, Commander." Joker turned to look at her over his shoulder, his face lit by a small grin, "Ready to dive straight into hell?"

"Only if you're the one taking me there." Nora responded to his familiar snarky comment with one of her own, sharing the resulting smile with the man who gotten her in and out of all her toughest missions, "You know I count on you, Joker."

"Yeah well, don't get soft now, Commander." The pilot smiled, rubbing one cheek with the palm of his hand, "You'll make me blush, and then I won't hear the end of it from EDI."

"Oh, you and she are on good terms now?" Nora couldn't help but raise her eyebrows at that him amusement, "She _has _replaced the whole crew now, are you sure she won't just replace you?"

"Well she _is _amazing…" Joker responded honestly, giving the glowing blue orb an almost affectionate look, "But there's something off in the way she handles the Normandy. We ran simulations and its better when we both have the helm."

It was more than a little surprising to find that despite her being an AI, the feeling seemed to be mutual on EDI's part. And for nearly an hour, Nora watched as her two co-pilots bantered and joked around, reminding her that even in the darkest moments there were friendships being built that could form the means to survive.

But for others, survival was not guaranteed even if the mission was a success.

"Thane?"

She had debated about visiting for a while, had stood awkwardly outside his door for nearly five minutes as she thought about what had to be said, what _should _be said. Time was running out for everyone, but for Thane such a thing had started much earlier.

Knowing that hadn't made opening the door any easier.

"Thane?"

The doors to the room closed before her eyes could adjust, and she stood there for a moment as the dim lights of the Life Support brightened to some predetermined middle strength.

"Over here, Siha."

Thane all but materialized from the shadows, unfolding himself gracefully from his seated position by the wall, his dark eyes blinking slowly as his lips quirked into a small smile. "You are looking like you could use a friend."

Sitting next to him as was her habit, Nora couldn't help but smile weakly back at him, what words could she possibly say?

"Should I pretend that I didn't hear you stand outside for ten minutes before coming in?" Thane teased in his quiet way, his hand brushing hers as he shifted in his seat.

"It was only five minutes…" Nora mumbled, as she leaned a little more into his side, sighing.

She didn't see the smile on his lips widen ever so slightly, though the soft rumble of his laughter echoed easily in the quiet.

"I'm glad you came to visit me, Shepard. After everything we've experienced together, the wrongs you have helped me make right…it's nice that you are here."

Something in the way he said those words struck her as strange, as too final. She had only just told Joker to set the course, but perhaps Thane such events very differently.

"Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?" Nora tried but couldn't quite bring herself to look at him right away. There was an ache in her chest, and Nora swallowed as if somehow she could push the emotion down, away. It didn't work.

"People die, Siha."

His voice was gentle, and in the dark one of his hands moved to clasp one of her own.

There was a small smile on his face when she finally worked up the courage to turn her head. An imperfect facsimile of a smile that looked as if he had resigned himself to a fate not yet set in stone. Her other hand crossed the space between them, until her fingers laced with his own, the press of her palm against his a comfort to them both.

"You _won't _die;not if I can help it_." _

Strange, but Nora hadn't expected her voice to tremble after being able to remain steady for so long.

"I know you will do your best, Nora." He squeezed her hand and for a second it felt as if perhaps _he _was comforting her and not the other way around, as she had intended. "But that is a promise you can't make."

She couldn't help the watery laugh that fell from her lips, "I'm not giving you a choice, Thane."

And then his arms were around her, pulling her close as she pressed herself tightly into his embrace. It was at once both wonderful and yet terrible, as if even in this way he was trying to prepare her for a world in which he wouldn't be there to listen to her.

She held him tighter, shuddering though she could no longer allow herself the luxury of crying.

"You are one of my very best friends, _strange _though it might seem." She whispered, "I've lost so many people; I don't want to lose you. Not if there's something I can do."

"And if you had to choose between me and Garrus?" He spoke gently as he stroked her back, "It's not a choice when the one you love is at risk, Siha."

"Irikah would never forgive me if I let you die." Nora responded stubbornly though her hand had immediately gone up to trace the necklace at her throat, _Garrus' _gift. Her _heart _knew who she would pick, and even now she could not feel guilty for that.

"Irikah," Thane spoke his wife's name like a lovely caress, "would understand. She was not unlike you, Nora, she was brave but she knew the costs of such things.

"You want to be with her, don't you?" It was comforting to know Thane would be reunited with his wife, with the woman who he had loved long after the world had lost all other meaning.

Nora smiled slightly as Thane brushed the hair from her face, his voice echoing richly in her ear.

"I feel the call of my Irikah, Siha. I feel the pull of the ocean. This body is failing, but I would have it serve you until its last breath for everything you've done for me and my family."

"You'll leave your son alone?"

"Kolyat is a grown man, and our relationship is better than it has been in years. He understands." Thane murmured, "We've spoken about this mission at length, he knows I believe it unlikely I will survive. And yet…"

Nora looked at him, her expression tight, "Yes?"

"I have prepared, done what I could…but when I think of my body's death a chill settles in my gut and I'm _afraid_."

She struggled against the wave of pain and the words, struggled and forced herself to breathe.

And this time, instead of wishing she could prevent him from dying, Nora closed her eyes and pulled him closer to her, holding him as tightly as she could.

"We'll get through this together, Thane."

She would save him, she would prove him wrong and somehow, someway she would bring him home to his son. She knew he would smile in approval if she has to leave him behind, if it meant saving lives, saving the galaxy. But she couldn't allow herself that thought, she would save them all, somehow.

The realization didn't dull the ache in her chest, but his words had given her strength, resolve for what had to happen next. The uncertainty of the future had never loomed so large before.

And in the silence that surrounded them, Nora held him close for one moment longer, willing her mind to commit to memory the sound of _his_ breathe, the warmth of his hands on her back, the sound of his soft chuckle as the door to Life Support opened.

"I thought she might be in here." Kasumi's lips quirked into a little smile, "I think I could use a hug too Commander," there was a smile in her voice and Nora opened her eyes to see the diminutive thief perched delicately on the table beside them.

"That is… if you're handing them out." Kasumi teased, opening her arms wide.

It was strange how both unprofessional but utterly necessary that hug was, how small a gift it seemed in contrast to what these two members of her crew had done for her.

But for these two, who knew her heart as well as they did, it seemed enough. And there was a comfort in knowing they relied on her just as much as she relied and trusted them. A team, amidst all the betrayal she had found the loyalty that would see them through.

She was in her quarters an hour later; feeling so emotionally wrung out that she felt hollow and entirely less than human. Scrubbing across her eyes with the back of her hand, Nora exhaled slowly, feeling the ache of exhaustion in her neck, the tight muscles of her shoulders.

She needed peace, a long hot shower and maybe if she was lucky, a nap.

Her private quarters offered the opportunity for her to accomplish all three, and with practiced efficiency Nora turned on some soft music and went to the bathroom for her much desired rinse.

It was on her way to accomplish the third and final task, her well-deserved nap, that she found a visitor waiting for her as she exited the bathroom.

"Garrus?"

Slowing as she turned the corner, Nora smiled, suddenly content despite the interruption. She knew she looked ridiculous, her hair still damp, her sleeping shirt still two sizes too large. But to make a big deal of it now would be to miss the point entirely.

"What brings you to my room, Garrus?"

Nora lingered in the by her desk for a moment, pulling the towel from her hair, dropping it over the back of a chair.

And though she asked the question with an easy smile, there was no missing the way her heart thundered in her chest, her body warming at the as yet unrecognized idea of what was to happen next.

"I brought wine." He seemed to hesitate as his words, withdrawing his gift from his back with a strange sort of shyness. It was, Nora thought, endearing if not a little bit confusing.

She and Garrus had finally arrived at a place where their relationship was stronger than it had ever been, _closer _than it had ever been. There were no secrets kept between them, and for once there was neither medical, emotional nor even physical space between.

_So why was he...?_

Looking into the sharp blue of his eyes, Nora felt herself suddenly make the final connection. It made sense then, the way he was acting, the look in his eyes, the way her heart continued to beat with staccato rhythm.

Suddenly Nora's throat was a little too dry, her cheeks a little too warm.

"Shall we open the bottle then?" She offered, struggling to sound calm. Taking the proffered bottle, she turned towards her bedroom in search of two glasses. But no sooner had she placed the wine on the table that she found herself pulled into a very solid, very familiar body.

_ "Garrus!"_

Turning in his grasp, Nora had only enough time to tilt her head up before she felt his mouth against her own. Warmer than she had expected, his hands seemed to burn where they touched the curve of her waist, the small of her back. He seemed to consume her senses, driving away coherence with a totality that left her entirely at his sweet mercy.

It was only when he slowly pulled away; taking a step back, that Nora managed to gather her scattered wits to think again. There was no helping the way her hand came to her mouth, brushing the tender flesh, drawing her lover's attention.

"Mordin sent you those vids too, huh?"

She meant to say the words teasingly, but could scarcely find her voice.

"I, ah…"

Garrus coughed with embarrassment, once more the hesitant turian rather than suave paramour. And as she watched him from the corner of her eye, Nora's mouth titled into a smile. If he had been human, Nora imagined, Garrus would be scarlet from blushing.

"I couldn't get myself to watch them either." Nora continued shyly as she turned to face him again, her cheeks quickly warming in the telltale sign of her own awkwardness.

"I just wanted for this to be about us…" Garrus replied just as softly, reaching out to brush the hair from her face. Lingering, he touched the soft shell of her ear as he tucked the hair behind.

"It seemed more interesting if we …explored." He tilted his head a little as he caught sight of her eyes, the way her pupils dilated at his words, "Is that alright with you, _Nora_?"

Softly, _so_ softly, his finger traced a path from her ear, down the side of her neck, brushing against the sensitive skin of her collarbone. Hearing her breath catch in her throat was an experience in and of itself.

And as he drew her close once more, there was no helping the soft pleading of his voice, "I just…I've seen so much go wrong, Nora. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis…with us."

"I want something to go right…" His fingers ghosted along the neckline of her shirt, though his eyes never left hers, "Just once I want _us_."

And then _her _mouth was on his, her hands around his neck as she stood on her tip-toes and pressed her small mouth to his, willing him to join her. Hot and sweet, she breathed him in as he held her close, their eyes slowly sliding shut as they handed themselves over to desire.

For Nora, it was as if all her nerve endings had come alive in a single moment, and every whispered touch, every brush of his hands upon her skin threatened to overwhelm her. Distantly, she was aware that they were moving back, towards the bed, her hands wrapped around his neck as he easily carried her across the room. He was much stronger than her, this man, her lover. Completely alien, completely unknown, Nora bit her lips as he lowered her to the softness of blankets and pillows.

What was this but another adventure? Her lips curved into a smile.

By their own volition, her hands stroked the sides of his face, tracing the scars on his left, the smoothness of his right. Up and over the colony markings on his face, she paused at the familiar blue interface of his visor.

"Are you going to keep that thing on?" Nora asked, torn between embarrassment and curiosity. She hadn't initially fathomed what situations that visor might use it for _other _than combat, but her imagination was quick to supply all sort of kinky suggestions.

It was more than a little difficult to force that corner of her brain into silence.

"Well you know me _Shepard_, I aim to please_." _She could all but hear the smirk in his voice_, "_I can keep it on if you're into that sort of thing." Garrus teased her as he deactivated his visor, gently flicking the tip of her nose with a finger, "Any other strange human fetishes I should know about?"

"Well I have a _very _serious thing for men with scars." Pressing a soft kiss to his battered mandible Nora smiled tenderly, "But I think you have that covered."

"Mmm…that I do." He nuzzled her shoulder in return, his hands smoothing down her sides before slipping beneath the generous fabric of her sleeping shirt.

It was strange how comfortable the contact was, all things considered. His hand, though distinctly _not _human, was warm as it stroked the soft skin of hip, careful as he reached the smooth curve of her belly.

"You humans are _very _soft." His voice rumbled in her ear, his husky tone indicating how very pleased he was with his observation.

Caught up in the sensation of his hand on her, Nora merely smiled as she traced the crest of his fringe, her nimble fingers finding that beneath the more solid plating there was something _else_.

"Oh…" Garrus seemed to stiffen as her fingers first caught between his plates, only to go boneless a second later when Nora gave the skin a tentative stroke.

"_Oh…_"

Feeling absurdly pleased with herself, and more than a little turned on, Nora pressed another kiss to his cheek as she continued to stroke, "Lucky guess hmm?

Garrus sucked in a sharp breath before exhaling in a sort of amused groan of pleasure, "You've always had an inordinate amount of luck. I should have seen this coming. And speaking of seeing…"

Nora found herself suddenly tugged into a sitting position, her shirt pulled from her shoulders a moment later, leaving no time for protest.

It was, Garrus thought, admiring the strange curves of Nora's very human body, fascinating to watch his commander flush; for she turned rosy not only on the swells of her cheeks but across other, less familiar parts of her body as well.

"Lie down for me, Nora."

Though not a prude of any sort, it took all Nora's courage to not cover herself. And though she was _very _aware of how very little she was wearing, she forced herself to relax as she gently arched back against the pillows, finding her new reclined position comfortable against the warmth of her skin.

He was so quiet that for a long, painfully awkward moment Nora feared she had done something wrong. But the longer he watched her, the more she became aware of his eyes tracing the slope of her shoulder, the swell of her breasts and soft curve of her belly down to the apex of her thighs. And when at last his eyes drifted up from her body back to meet her gaze, the look she found then made her body tighten, her lips part, as the blood all but roared in her eardrums.

"Turnabout is fair play,_" _She groaned, unable to bear his scrutiny for much longer without doing _something_.

"Is it?" He all but growled the words as he stretched out next to her, his hand brushing the tender skin of her shoulder, her chest, but never quite touching the places she wanted him most. "Is that a promise?"

"_Garrus_."

Nora didn't recognize the husky thrum of her voice, the quiet desperation that had her trembling at his touch. He was such a tease, and she pressed her thighs together in a futile attempt to assuage the ache that beat hotly between them.

"Take your clothes off."

She tugged at his sleeve to no avail, and so she took matters into her own hands. Turning on her side, Nora pushed at his shoulder before rolling on top of him, straddling his lap, modesty suddenly left to the wayside.

Grinning, Garrus propped himself up on his forearms, "I'll pay you twenty credits if you do that again."

She laughed in response but shook her head, her fingers racing to undo the clasps on his coat, peeling away the outer layer with ease before he had to help her with the rest.

It was only when they were both undressed to the waist that he stopped her, his hand coming up between them, his long fingers finding purchase on the necklace that glittered in the space between them. Warmed by her skin, it had marked the tender skin between her breasts with its pattern.

"You're still wearing it."

His voice had gone suddenly quiet, serious, as his fingers traced the contours of the necklace.

"I never take it off." Nora admitted with a soft smile, feeling surprisingly tender despite the maelstrom of lust.

Her hand came up to cover his, taking comfort in the familiar warmth and texture of his otherwise alien hand. And just like that something changed, _deepened, _and…

"I love you, Shepard." He looked up at her his expression serious.

"I love you too, _Vakarian._" Nora smiled down at him, her fingers moving his hand until he cupped the softness of her breasts in his hands. Warmth quickly turned to smoldering heat once more.

"_Nora_."

He exhaled her name like a prayer and seemed to flex beneath her, making her groan.

"Yes, _Garrus?"_

_ "I love you."_

There was tenderness in his voice that threatened to undo them both.

_ "I love you too. Always." _

And for a few perfect hours, nothing else mattered.

* * *

The Normandy was on full alert by the time she stepped back onto the command deck.

"Commander," Joker didn't have to look at her to know when she arrived, "Good timing, final preparations for the jump through the Omega Relay, ETA One Hour."

Not yet suited up, Nora smoothed the bottom of her uniform with a small smile, her mind lingering on the man who still lay in her bed, deeply asleep. He had woken briefly when she had left the bed, but it took little to convince him to go back to sleep. There was still time.

"So you two finally got around to it huh?"

Jack's voice was hardly loud, but drew Nora's attention with ease, causing her to slow as she drew near. Leaning against the far navigation terminal, the biotic was sporting a knowing smirk. And though she was a grown woman who could certainly do what she wanted, Nora could not help the slight flush of her cheeks as Jack continued to pin her with dark eyes.

"Since when do you care about my personal life?" Nora retorted, striving to act like an adult despite feeling like a randy teen who had just been caught red-handed.

"Since it became a little more public," Jack commented dryly gesturing to just below her commander's chin, "Your bite is showing."

_Her bite?_

Ah, but Jack really had caught her with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

Garrus had certainly _not_ bitten her in any way, shape or form, but that didn't mean marks on her neck weren't a dead giveaway. Understanding dawned almost instantly, followed by another wave of deep rooted embarrassment. Moving quickly, Nora pulled up the collar of her shirt, simultaneously brushing her hair forward, hiding the bright marks that stood out against her paler skin.

"_Smooth_, Shepard. _Real _smooth."

The words were properly ironic, but there was grin as well. A cross between a teasing smile and Jack's trademark smirk, it was very much an indication of the differences within the woman Nora had met on Purgatory.

Coughing lightly, Nora merely shrugged, returning the smile somewhat bashfully. "Thanks for that, Jack."

It really wouldn't do to walk around the Normandy like that.

"Yeah," Jack rolled her eyes, "I know. You owe me."

"Well I wouldn't go quite that far," Nora protested with a grin, "But I appreciate it."

"Oh no. You _so _owe me, Shepard." Crossing her arms, Jack paused for a moment before her grin widened into a very _wicked _smile. "Unless you tell me all about it…in which case I'll call us even."

Grinning back, Nora tilted her head as she observed her friend "Did you really just ask for all the 'juicy details'?"

"Hey, a girl's gotta know." Jack shrugged.

"For all your comments about the 'Cerberus Cheerleader' you're actually as girly as Miranda aren't you?"

And having known what sort of reaction that comment would inspire, Nora couldn't help but laugh outright as Jack's grin became a petulant scowl.

"What was that, Commander?" Joker's voice cut through the bantering.

"Nothing, Joker." Nora shot Jack one last amused look before walking to where Joker was putting the final touches on the Reaper IFF and relay alignment.

"ETA forty minutes, Commander."

"Sounds good. I'll be back in five." And as she left to suit up, Jack following close behind, Nora inhaled slowly, exhaling with equal control.

This was it.

"We're getting our people back."

Inhale, Exhale.

Once more and then another.

It was time to take the plunge.

* * *

"Tali!"

Nora was screaming at the top of her lungs as she ran, her legs burning as they ate up the ground beneath her and her biotics blazed in with a Charge. Desperate to cover the quarian, she pushed herself into the thick of Collector forces, grunting as her shields took a beating, forcing her behind cover.

There was no way she was going to make it, and even as she drew power for a second biotic charge, Nora knew she would arrive too late. It was not acceptable, not in the slightest.

She _had_ to open that final hatch, had to save her friend. She was not going to lose anyone, not if there was anything she could do about it. In her hands, her shotgun buzzed with the heat of many thermal clips come and gone. Useless until she found more, Nora switched to her oft-forgotten SMG just as a hand clamped momentarily on her shoulder.

"Cover me, Shep."

It was all the warning Nora got before waves of biotic power were flung passed her ear the carnage a calling card of the one biotic woman who never bothered with control in a firefight.

And then Jack was there across the hall, biotics roaring as she tore the vent open and dragged the engineer out, biotic shield snapping up a second later as they rolled into cover. The rescue was met with heavy retaliation.

Growling under her breath, Nora took out two Collectors on her way to her team, covering Thane as he dove forward to grab extra thermal clips and toss them back.

"For you, Shepard."

Ever calm, Thane seemed to quirk a little smile as she caught the clips and shoved them into her shotgun, moving ever closer to Jack's position. But no sooner had the final clip snapped into place when battery of fiery explosions lit Nora's peripheral vision, forcing her to turn.

Jack and Tali's position was compromised, left nothing but a fiery ruin.

There was not even time to shout as she tore across the remainder of the hall, killing collectors with a single-minded efficiency until she came to the smoldering boulder that had once been cover for the two women she called friends.

Amidst the charred black and billowing smoke she could find only fragments of armor streaked with blood. There was no sign of either Tali or Jack.

"Shepard, over here!"

Tali was already working on the door, but her voice was rough with emotion that had nothing to do with her frantic task.

"Jack's been hurt."

It was an understatement of near undefinable proportion, but Nora knew Tali well enough to keep silent. The tech did not need a distraction, and Jack didn't have time to waste as they haggled over semantics.

A bloodied mess who still insisted on keeping her biotic field up despite it's near constant flickering; Jack appeared to have covered their tech with more than just biotics.

"Don't you _dare_ die on me Jack," Nora's voice was tight in anger, desperation as she knelt at the other woman's side, "Don't you close your eyes for a second, that's an order."

"Like I take orders from you," Jack's words were half slurred but spunky as ever. It was enough to make Nora grit her teeth all the harder against the feelings that threatened to weaken her.

_Breathe._

She had a job to do.

Her hands, steady from years of combat training, found the medpack at her side and with practiced ease withdrew the injector, sinking the tip into the biotic with ease.

"Breathe, you stubborn woman." Nora growled as she pulled out a second applicator and administered the pack. Beneath her hands, Jack's breathing was less labored but the blood still ran down the side of her face in scarlet rivulets.

"Stay with me, Jack."

Vaguely she could hear Thane covering them all, the seconds stretching out until it felt as if she lived between two eternities.

And then the doors beeped, almost inaudibly and time returned to normal as Garrus appeared in the doorway, his hand pulling Tali through, his voice barking out orders for _suppressing fire _as Nora scooped up Jack and ducked behind the doors.

By the time the doors thundered shut, Jack was stabilized enough to sit up unassisted.

"Everyone ok?"

Garrus bent over the two, scanning Jack's injuries. Nora's gloves were streaked with blood, but it seemed the medigel had done its job.

"Where are we?"

Looking over her shoulder, Nora caught a glance of translucent pods and a tangled mass of cables. Around them a fog hung thick and brown, half obscuring the chamber rose out of the ground, a mixture of organic flesh and the cold metallic sheen of technology.

"Commander, over here. You're going to want to see this." Miranda's voice carried in the cavernous space, grim though unfailingly resolute.

It was the crew.

Nora stepped through the smog to come face to face with one of the young ensigns. But any feeling of elation quickly turned to horror as, in an example of chemical processes, the young woman was dissolved before her commander's eyes. Skin burned away leaving muscle, until that too was rendered down into a bloody paste that threatened to make all who watched violently ill.

"Get them out of those pods! Now people!"

The next few seconds are filled with heart pounding adrenaline and the desperate shattering of pod glass as the squad moved to save the crew.

In the end only a handful remain alive, emotionally devastated all of them. It was Doctor Chakwas who managed to recount the horrors of the past few hours, though every word seemed to make her pale with increasing severity.

It was a slaughter, and no one was safe.

* * *

_"Shepard." _The sudden buzz of the comm. unit comes as a surprise to everyone, the connection a bit unstable but clear.

"Shepard here," Nora's eyes went vague and unseeing as she focused on the call and not the ashen faces of all those under her command.

The Normandy was up and running again, Joker at its helm andable to take those less able to fight. Nora tries not to, but can't stop herself from looking at Jack, at her crew and at Mordin who, for all of his fighting prowess, is still a _doctor. _She means to save lives, not lose them all.

"What can you tell me about our position?"

_"All those tubes go into the main control room right above you. The route is blocked by another security door, but there's another chamber that runs parallel to the one you're in."_

EDI interrupted, _"I cannot recommend that; thermal emissions show that the room is overrun with Seeker swarms. Mordin's countermeasure cannot protect you against so many at once."_

But she could hear it in their voices, there really was no other way around, and so she began to give her orders, both to her squad and to her crew. Knowing that lives were at stake, there was no time to hesitate.

* * *

Nora had always been called upon to give inspirational speeches. It was, as her last commanding officer had said, one of those talents that would be important to her in the future, and truly it was her skill with words that had enabled a great deal of action over the course of her military career.

She had given speeches to military men, dignitaries and just about everyone in between. But it was in speaking to _these _people that she felt her ability as both a skill and burden. It was them she was convincing to do the right thing at cost to themselves, to hold the line against near impossible odds and trust that their loyalty was as much to each other as it was hers to command.

Appealing to each one in turn, it was with some surprise that she found that despite the differences each member of her squad has earned her respect.

For Miranda and Jacob that respect was done with no little bit of grudging, but it was there nonetheless. Though Cerberus in their association, they bore the same bruises and bloodied lips as the rest of the team, their armor roughened by rocket fire and biotic explosions. They would never be her friends, she knew, but for this mission at least, she called them comrade with a conviction akin to that of her crew two years ago.

Grunt too had earned her respect, tough though it sometimes was to get through to him. He was in many ways the passionate counterpoint to Zaeed's violent but ultimately cooler approach. She had not truly gotten to know him, but Jack had and _that _opinion had mattered more to her than most.

Jack, the woman who she had once come to blows with, the temperamental woman with the bad mouth, the woman who Nora worried about like a little sister. There was more than respect there, she knew. Jack might not say as much, but she believed friendship had factored into their relationship as well.

Samara with her quiet ways and not-so-quiet daughters had been a silent support over the past few months. Nora had asked a lot of this asari, the room with the seeker swarms not quickly forgotten and even now, tired as she was, Samara remained as steadfast as ever.

And there, in the corner, half hidden in the shadows were the two people she knew she might never be able to repay. The assassin and the thief, both occupations suggested the taking of life and icons of the past, but ironically these were the gifts they had given. Memories, priceless beyond comparison, were hers only because of their work, and for that Nora knew she would _never _forget them.

And Garrus…she looked at him for a moment. _Just _a moment, because any longer might prove dangerous. She knew that of all the people assembled there he was her sword and shield, the man whose loyalty was unquestioned, whose _affections _were unquestioned. And because of this it was harder to look at him and not worry, to remain professional, to pretend that the worries she had voiced earlier were not still on her mind.

"Let's go." She said as she mustered a final smile, gathering the last vestiges of her courage, her confidence and willing it to strengthen the men and women she considered her team, her family, "Let's stop the collectors and save lives."

It took less time to rise those final hundred stories than it had taken them to scale the last two obstacles; the thought was not as comforting as it should have been. Less time traveling meant the ground force would be spared longer combat, but what did it mean for the three that rose ever closer to the unknown?

_What would they find suspended so high in the air? What were those tubes leading to?_

"Any ideas, EDI?"

Glancing at the tubes as they twisted and seemed to race past them in a hurried race to the top, Nora shifted uncomfortably at the not-quite-pink paste that seemed to squelch as it was pushed through increasingly larger tubing.

_ "It is emiting both organic and inorganic signatures. Given these readings it must be massive." _

EDI's words did little to put the commander at ease, her description only further confirming that whatever lay in waiting was unlike anything they had faced before.

"Anything else?" Nora squinted, trying to see through the thick dust as their platform cleared a large bulkhead.

_"Shepard, if my calculations are correct…the superstructure is a Reaper."_

Had EDI been capable, Nora would have though she hesitated out of disbelief. But no sooner had those words echoed over the comm. when they became a reality. Tubes, ineffectual on their own, combined, and from that mass of coils and metal grew a _thing_, a _human_ shaped something that seemed to hang lifelessly from the tethers that kept it upright.

_ "It appears as if the reapers have processed tens of thousands of humans. Significantly more will be required to complete this Reaper."_

A _human _Reaper.

Nora repeated the information to herself as if somehow the process of repetition would make the image in front of her make sense. But the more she did so the more she realized that there were some things that really took seeing to believing.

"Either of you feeling a bit surprise?" Garrus' casual comment was laced with copious sarcasm, enough to quirk Nora's lips into a small smile.

"I think 'a bit' might be the biggest understatement we've had this whole mission."

"Indeed," Thane nodded, "Though perhaps we could enjoy this moment more once it's behind us?"

Checking the clips she had available for her shotgun Nora grunted in agreement, running her hand over the experimental weapon Mordin had given her shortly before his departure.

'Use in emergencies,' he had said. Nora was sure that the moment was nearly upon them.

"Any ideas on how we destroy it, EDI?"

Signaling her team to get behind cover, Nora released the heavy gun from her arsenal and waited for a response, weighting her new weapon in her hands.

"The tube injectors are a weak structural link, destroying those should be enough to cause the reaper to fall."

Adjusting the weapon's scope, Nora grimaced at the news, eyeing the sturdy metal plates that came down over the tubes at measured intervals. She would have to take it slow and hope that their cover proved strong enough to combat the retaliation for her attack.

"Everyone ready?" Nora called as she made the final adjustments, flexing her hands until they glowed with stabilizing biotic power.

And then she squeezed the trigger, pushing them immediately into chaos.

* * *

Gunfire choked the air with sound as the bullets themselves hurled through the air intent on harm. Around them explosions bloomed red and gold as Collectors both gained and died under the influence of the one called Harbinger. Beside her, Thane and Garrus moved in tandem, working to sweep near and far distance in equal measure. And though the remains of three tubes littered their platform, the air around the three was quickly becoming desperate. Whether the human Reaper was actually alive enough to fight back or whether the firefight was proving to be too much a distraction, the final tube was proving to be near impossible.

Two shots had gone wide; a third had hit the metallic casing on the tubing with little effect. Nora was sweating from near constant biotic exertion as she converted her energy towards both barrier and navigation of her heavy weapon's rocket-like propellants. But she was nearly empty and it remained unclear if she could muster up enough to make another attempt. Long range shots were not her forte, and it was impossible to ask Garrus fire a weapon that had been so expressly designed for human use. She _had _to do this.

"Last one, Shepard." Thane's voice was steady amidst the gunfire, calm though his breathing was noticeably increased.

"Remember what I taught you," Garrus this time, his voice comforting in her ear. "Remember the lessons back on the Citadel."

And because she had her memories, Nora _did_. She inhaled, steadied herself, timing the moment she would rise from cover with the sudden stillness of the firefight.

One, two…

On three she was on her feet, firing reticle dancing across her vision before it steadied and her hands squeezed the trigger.

_ Exhale._

Then the shot was off, streaming through the air, glowing purple as the last of Nora's biotics adjusted the flight of the rocket and kept its aim true. And the explosion, the _final _explosion, when it did arrive scorched the very breath in their lungs.

Filling the air with fire and the shrill shriek of the dying, the Reaper clawed at the void as it fell, unable to stop its inevitable plummet downward. And then it was gone, defeated.

Their victory was not quite at hand though, and Nora lingered only long enough to see the Reaper disappear from view before she turned back to the short glowing console that awaited her.

"Shepard to ground team," Nora glanced at both Thane and Garrus, before turning her attention to the remainder of her crew, "I need a status report, Jack."

"About time you called," the voice over the comm. was barely audible over the rattle of gunfire, "We're holding but they keep coming. A quick exit would be great sometime about now."

Nodding in agreement, Nora directed them to head towards the Normandy, signaling Joker to her intent as she began the adjustments on the console.

"Get those engines ready, Joker. I plan on overloading this place and blowing it sky high. Be ready for pickup on my call."

"Aye-aye Commander." His voice hesitated, "Uh…just got an incoming message from the Illusive Man. EDI is…"

"I don't have time to deal with him right now." Nora glanced at her two companions, at the darkened canopy of the Collector base and knew she didn't have time for much more than setting the trap.

"You sure, Commander?" Joker didn't sound particularly worried with her decision but asked the question nonetheless.

"Check the call yourself if you want," Nora answered impatiently as she transferred data, muttering under her breathe as she struggled with the encryptions, "But I don't exactly have a free minute. If he wants to talk he'll tell you what is so damned important."

And with that final parting order Nora returned to work.

She had only just finalized the detonation charge when the platform gave a deep-seated shutter before beginning to shake itself apart. And there, at the edges of the platform were the mechanical fingers of the human Reaper, come to wreak havoc in its death throes. Heavily damaged though it was, its weight was enough to cause the floating platform to crumble beneath it.

Dodging the avalanche of falling debris and struggling to remain upright as the floor beneath them pitched and groaned, Nora grit her teeth as her foot skittered on the too-slick surface. But no sooner had she found purchase when out of the corner her eye Thane disappeared, arms flailing as the ground gave way.

"THANE!"

Her reaction was instantaneous and completely without forethought. Arms pumping as her legs moved in coordinated grace, she threw herself towards the abyss, her hand locking around the assassin's wrist, snapping closed with all the force of a vice. And though they should have fallen, Garrus had acted with thought for them all, his large hand catching and holding the weight of both companions as they dangled over the precipice.

Yet still the Reaper thrashed, and the avalanche continued until even the smallest bit of platform was reduced to not. Down they fell, straining for one another as around them the world fell.

And before the darkness engulfed her entirely Nora felt Garrus grasp her hand in a brief squeeze, one that would last an eternity in memory.

She had one last desperate touch, and then he was soundlessly ripped away from her, gone before she lost consciousness.


	15. Chapter 15: Promise

AN: So here it is...the final chapter to a fic that has taken a good two years to complete. I hope you all enjoy, it's not as long as my other chapters, but it was maybe one of the hardest to write. I would like to thank the lovely Zepheera who was a most welcome help in editing this story, and to all of you who have taken to time to read this fic. A special thank you to all you reviewers as well, I can't tell you how much your feedback has made me want to become a better writer and do you all proud :)

So without further ado, here it is, the FINAL chapter of Space Between. As always I don't own anything.

Much love for you all.

~Voi

* * *

Nora woke to find her suit's barriers depleted and her body burning from overexertion. Struggling to her feet, the world remained blurry for several precious seconds afterwards, leaving her to grope along blindly.

She remembered everything, the final explosion of the tubes, the terrible fall. There was a moment, a second, when absolute hysteria threatened to overcome everything.

_Thane._

_ Garrus._

Feeling as if her heart was in her throat, Nora struggled to breathe, to fight off the nausea that threatened to overwhelm her. And though she could scarcely see, the world swam before her eyes, a mix of dark shapes and even darker shadows.

Behind her, there was a sudden screeching of metal and stone. High and shrill, Nora whirled, her hand grasping at the shotgun that still remained tightly clipped to her side.

The figure, when at last he stumbles upright, was little more than a smudge in a vision that is still composed of incomprehensible whispers of color.

"Nora."

She knows that voice, _knows _that deep vibrating quality that makes her feel warm and safe. But for that moment she cannot remember who it belongs to, and she is too scared to believe it to be one man for fear that by choosing one she has somehow condemned the other to die. The shadowy figure jerks forward, repeating her name as relief floods his voice.

_"Nora."_

He's walking towards her now, still wrought with shadows and smoke, Nora strains herself to see him clearly, half desperate and just as terrified.

In the end, it is his hands that give him away, those strong fingers tempered as he touched the side of her face. Checking her for injury, it was when he turned her chin upwards to look him in the eye that her eyes finally cleared.

And though her throat tightens immediately, she manages to speak; however strangled the word comes out.

"Garrus."

In that moment his name is the loveliest word she has ever spoken, a moment of gold where nothing matters but _this _man. Battered though he is, he is still very much _alive_, and Nora cannot help but smile brilliantly as he touches his forehead to her own, exhaling slowly in a mirror of her own contented sigh.

And _that _is when Nora acknowledges that Thane was right. That Garrus would forever be the one she held first in her heart, the one to whom her heart seemed eternally tied. But no sooner had the thought crossed her mind when _his _lackofpresence is acknowledged to the fullest.

Thane.

His name brings about panic; and the heady mixture of emotional distress and the lingering adrenaline of combat, jolt her with near physical force. Head snapping around to try and take in all surroundings at once, Nora's hand tightens on Garrus' before she steps away.

"Thane?" She calls his name tentatively, quietly so as not to attract undo attention.

There are still Collectors about, she does not have to see them to know, but the desperation for her friend dwarfs any real concern. They have destroyed the human reaper, what are a few Collectors in exchange for a comrade and friend?

"Thane?!"

The seconds pass with excruciating silence and the heavy thrumming of her heart echoing in her ears.

In the end she finds him half hidden under a chunk of the platform propulsion system. And he's still...almost _too _still.

It looks, she thinks, like he is sleeping or perhaps only knocked out. And indeed the dim light makes his scales flicker amidst the dusty air.

"Thane?"

Nora repeats his name for a third time as she kneels beside him, hesitating, assessing. There is some blood on his chest, but not enough to prevent her touch. And so she moves, too full of emotion to properly think further than pulling the panels off of her friend. But even as she moves that final piece, grunting with effort when it takes both her and Garrus' strength, she can feel her hope dying.

He still hasn't moved.

Kneeling beside him when at last he's freed, she rests one hand on his chest and feels the sob build in her chest. Eyes burning, Nora swallows willing her hands to ghost along his neck and chest trembling with increasing intensity as she feels _nothing_. This time there will be no last minute medpack, no biotic healing.

He was _already dead_.

"Thane." Her voice is a whisper as she struggles to keep control, "_Thane."_

She can say his name a thousand more times but nothing will change about this moment. And she wants to cry, she _wants_ to scream. Because it wasn't fair, because of all those who could have died it _never_ should have been this man. Not now, not while he fought by her side. Not when they had been so very close.

She didn't want to say goodbye, doubted she was strong enough to carry this burden.

"Please…" she can barely force the words past her throat, voice choked by the force of her pain. Her hands have fisted on the thick material of his armor but moved of their own volition gently taking Thane's hands, maneuvering them until it looked as if the assassin were merely sleeping.

Vaguely she can feelGarrus' hand on her shoulder, his blue eyes sympathetic but also very much aware of their precarious situation.

"We have to go, Nora. He would understand." He spoke softly, out of deference to the man who had done so much for the both of them. Numbly, Nora could feel herself nod in agreement, but her hand remained clasped around his for one moment longer.

"Go to your wife across the sea..."

The words spilled from her lips, with them all the best wishes that Nora could gather for the man who had not only found redemption for himself, but had also helped her.

There was one tear that fell from her eye, only one.

Solitary and glittering in the dim light, it disappeared into the dusty ground as she stood and led Garrus from the room. A single tear to represent the months of camaraderie, the connection that had been so instantaneous it seemed as if they had known each other all their lives.

"…And thank you. For _everything_."

A single tear to represent all that war had stolen.

They had won against the Collectors.

Watching the base explode behind them, the yellow and red blooming like a flower, Nora felt her lips twist into a smile but there was no answering emotional response. Her chest felt empty, hollowed out. It would pass; time and experience had taught her as much, but for now she would live, _strive _to live each day to the fullest.

Swallowing painfully she wrapped her arms around herself, marshaling her heart against the constant self-battery and loathing that came with leaving someone behind.

Thane should never have died; they had already completed the mission.

Remembering what would be her _final _mission brief with the Illusive Man Nora felt the surge of anger at his lack of understanding, his sheer inability to realize that the 'human' cost was more than just a number. His desire for an edge against the Reapers had made him blind to everything else. And the realization had made their continued work together unthinkable; repellant to the furthest degree.

Her hands curled into fists, but even her anger could not stave off the sense of loss.

Denial was not something she did often, but every part of her fought against the truth of Thane's death. Her body ached though Chakwas had seen to all her wounds, her _heart _ached.

"You've been standing like that for over an hour. Want to talk about it?"

A gentle hand touched the small of her back, caressed her waist as he spoke. His voice, low and throating wrapped itself around her and drew her back to the present, back to _him. _

"How's Jack doing?"

Her voice was hoarse and she had to clear her throat to repeat her question with any semblance of clarity. She had gone in to see the biotic earlier, but had been turned away. Jack had needed yet another minor surgery to fix the damage done.

"She's doing fine, all things considered." Garrus brushed her hair from her cheek, lingering over a quickly darkening bruise, "Though really I think everyone is wondering how _you_ are."

His question was met with a jagged inhale and a look so broken that he needed not an answer at all. Instead he offered his quiet support, easing his arms around her, tucking the small human woman against his side as he carried her across the room and settled them on the edge of her bed.

"You can cry, Nora. You know I don't judge."

Dark and soothing, his warmth drove the chill from her body, drove enough warmth back into her that the pain felt all the closer. And she so cried, _sobbed_ into his shoulder as she wound her arms around him and held on, anchored against the storm of her emotions.

Agony over Thane, but fear too. Fear that the man her arms could have been another casualty, lost as easily as she had lost her beloved friend.

One stray bullet, one split-second mistake and she would have stood in her room _alone_.

The tears spilled in multiplicity, the crying jagged with the emotion she had kept controlled long enough to make it out alive. And she _did_ make it out alive, even if every step had felt as ineffectual as pressing a hand over an open wound.

Commander Nora was a survivor, and she would survive this too.

"Let it all out." Garrus crooned softly into her hair as he held her close, "I know he meant a lot to you."

"It wasn't just him," she whispered resting her cheek on the side of his cowl, "It was you too."

Not knowing what to say, Garrus turned to look at her, the paleness of her face, the tear tracks that were impossible to miss.

"Seeing Thane dead seemed like a bad dream; a _horrible _nightmare." Nora caressed the scarred mandible that had since become part and parcel of the man she loved. Eyes blinking wetly, she took a shuddering breath before continuing.

"I've lost people before, you know. Jenkins was a friend of Kaiden's on the Normandy; he died on the mission to Eden Prime. And then there was my whole unit on Akuze. But…"

She took a breath, took another shaky breath, "Seeing Thane die drove the point home; reminded me how much we have to lose. How much _I _have to lose."

"Selfish as it is, I think of this fight…of our struggles for the better of the galaxy. And all I can hope for at night is that I don't lose _you_." She closed her eyes as her face tightened in pain, "I _can't _lose you again."

The arms around her tightened at her words, his voice rough as he said, "There is no me, Nora, without you."

"No Shepard without Vakarian." Nora said with a small smile in her voice, "I like the sound of that."

Chuckling softly, Garrus nuzzled her cheek, "Yeah…me too. I'll always be at your side."

"That reminds me…" Nora pulled back and dug into the collar of her shirt, pulling out the long chain and pendant she kept close. "What's the significance of this necklace?"

And for a moment, a split second, Garrus was paralyzed by indecision. It would be so easy to wait to reply, to _not _tell her. Putting off the question was comfortable, and in the grand scheme of how long they had known each other probably the more conventional solution.

But time was not a luxury they had, and in a galaxy that seemed so insistent on going crazy there had only ever been one person who had mattered enough to keep going, to keep fighting. Convention or not, Nora Shepard had swung quite suddenly into his life and had rooted herself there ever so deeply.

The two years without her had seemed unbearable, devastating. And though they still had so much to talk about, to catch up on, their reunion had been the sweetest of dreams-made-reality.

This mission had shown him that despite the odds, hope could find a way. Nora would find a way to remember him, he would find the strength to rebuild their relationship, and_ they_ would find a way.

_What was the point of that necklace, his gesture, if he said nothing? _

There would be no other. He had known it the first time she had brought him on a mission and proven herself the leader, the first time she had sat down and _talked _to him with an intensity he had never known. Human she might be, but she had all but ruined him for any other female.

And so he would tell her about the necklace; because she mattered. At the end of the day there was not a moment that went by when he was not entirely, deliriously (perhaps even foolhardily) in love with her and he needed to let her know.

"It's a promise." Garrus finally answered slowly, touching the smooth surface with a gentle fingertip, "To be your shield against those who would see you harmed. The necklace is…a promise to be with you _always, _that you are always in my thoughts."

He gently took the pendant from her and held it between them, turned it over to reveal the markings on the back that mirrored the markings on his face.

"Kasumi hinted that it might be something like that; something _special_." Nora smiled again, shyly, "Turians don't give these to non-turians do they?"

"No, they don't." Garrus chuckled, "They also don't give them to anyone but the person they are bonded with. I am one _bad _turian."

There was something in the way he said it, a slight waver in his nonchalant response that make Nora blink in surprise.

Had she heard him right? Eyes widening as she looked into his too-serious face, Nora moved until she could look him _directly _in the eye.

"Garrus Vakarian…" she could scarcely breathe at the possibility, "Are you asking me to…_marry_ you?"

"I…uh…" For a split second Garrus gulped awkwardly before nodding, "Yes...I think – we call it something different but…_yeah_."

A second passed before he mumbled, "That is…if you wouldn't mind."

"_If I don't mind_…" Nora repeated his words as a smile bloomed on her lips. Full and bright, she almost laughed aloud, "Of course I don't 'mind', silly man. I _love _you."

"Ah. Good." Garrus seemed to exhale in relief, "I wasn't sure if it was offensive to humans to just…ask."

"What did you think we did?" Nora asked, her smiled widening, "Fight to the death?"

Her lover seemed to consider it for a moment, "Not to the _death_ exactly…but I did wonder if some sort of combat display would be required."

"Trying to impress me with your prowess?" Nora grinned, "I thought you did that already. You know…the whole 'popping the heat sink' _thing_…"

Groaning amidst Nora's laughter, Garrus shook his head, eyes looking at her mournfully, "I am _never _going to live that one down, am I?"

"No." Nora kissed him on the mandible, still snickering, _"Never."_

Garrus rubbed small circles in in her back, "There's nothing I can do _at all_?" His hand slipped beneath her shirt to stroke bare skin.

His offer was met with a sanguine smile.

"Well…you're more than welcome to try." Nora smiled more broadly and gave him a sassy wink, "Give it your _best shot_."

And though the room lights dimmed on the couple there was no dimming the moment, the promise.

No matter what the future held, Nora knew she would forever love this man and together they could accomplish anything.

There was no Nora without Garrus.

No Shepard without Vakarian.

It was a promise - and they both had every intention of keeping it.

FIN

Extended Ending:

"You never did answer me."

The room is almost completely dark now, save for the light coming from the fish tank.

"About being your wife? Yes I did." There's a soft feminine snort in the darkness. "Though really the question should be whether or not _you _are ready to be my husband."

"As if you even have to ask." The response is appropriately cocky, and in the dark a turian mandible flared in amusement, "Besides….there's no one else even remotely qualified for the position."

"Oh _really_?" There is no mistaking the teasing disbelief in Nora's voice.

"Yeah. _Really_." He growled the words, and the bed squeaked as he shifted. "I'd like to see you find anyone as stylish as me."

"Hmm…"and then, a moment later the silence is punctuated by a very satisfied female groan, "Oh…_so _true."

* * *

AN: And because there is still a little bit left to say, tune in Sunday for the first chapter in a three chapter conclusion to the Garrus/Nora saga covering a post ME3 universe.

I hope to see you there, thanks again for all your love and support these past 2 years!

~Voi


End file.
